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Roleplaying/Gaming (PnP or Computers) and Relationships

ZaghoulZaghoul Member, Moderator Posts: 4,184
edited March 2017 in Off-Topic
So, easier poll this time. How many folks here have had their relationships affected by time spent gaming?

Roleplaying/Gaming (PnP or Computers) and Relationships 20 votes

Yes, it strained the relationship
15% 3 votes
Yes, it broke up the relationship
5% 1 vote
Yes, it enhanced/grew the relationship
10% 2 votes
No, it did not have any effect on my relationship
55% 11 votes
No, and I met someone through gaming
15% 3 votes

Comments

  • ZaghoulZaghoul Member, Moderator Posts: 4,184
    I have had a little bit of all options depending on the type of person I was with at the time. I would say vote for the one that has/had the greatest impact.

  • Son_of_ImoenSon_of_Imoen Member Posts: 1,810
    Well, the last relationship I had didn't get exactly broken over time spent gaming, but in leaving me not enough time overall:

    working (7 hours a week, i.e. a full working week as far as my energy allows), time to recover, to be alone, time for my hobbies (gaming, reading), taking care of my own household, plus the time we spent together, it all took too much energy together.

    I don't have enough energy to juggle work, household tasks, hobbies and the time I need to recover and be alone even WITHOUT a relationship. WITH a relationship I just couldn't deal with all the expectations I had to meet for spending my time.

    I feel overburdened if I have to meet other people for more than 2 hours a day, 10 hours a week (in the weekend I'd rather have no social obligations, it's a time for me to be alone and fill up my mental tank).

    So did gaming affect my relationships? Not nearly as much as my autism did.

    AerakarBelgarathMTH
  • ZaghoulZaghoul Member, Moderator Posts: 4,184
    @Son_of_Imoen I can definitely understand the alone time needed. It gives time to, 'recharge', in prep for people time. Not given enough time to pursue hobbies and personal interests can leave one feeling...stressed.

  • ArctodusArctodus Member Posts: 996
    edited March 2017
    I'm a father of two young children under 3 years old, work full time and still manage to spend time with my family, workout about 4-5 times a week (boxing and running) and game enough to make it interesting.

    The key for me is good time managing. Wake up early (6h30) ; prepare the kids for kindergarden ; go to work ; go pick-up the kids after (run to go there) ; spend the afternoon with the family until about 20h30 ; game until ~23h30. I game a bit more on the week-ends and also spent more time with the family. Add in at least 2-3 boxing sessions and you got a typical week for me. And I don't feel that busy, to be honest. I'm pretty much chilling with my kids every afternoon, taking it easy... When I'm tired, I simply wake up later on week-end - by later I mean 8h30, though... :p

    Me and my wife are going strong after almost 6 years together. She really doesn't mind my gaming, like at all. We actually pop-in a good ol' SNES game like Mario-Kart or Donkey Kong Country together once in a while. She actually kicks my ass at Super Mario World and the Lost Levels, like real bad...

    All in all, I feel like a blessed man. We're tight on the money, but I don't care, because life is good.

    CrevsDaakFinneousPJAerakarsemiticgoddess
  • BelleSorciereBelleSorciere Member Posts: 2,125
    It seems that everyone I've had a relationship with played RPGs.

    I selected "it didn't affect the relationship" but that's more an average than anything. Sometimes it was good, sometimes it was bad.

  • ZaghoulZaghoul Member, Moderator Posts: 4,184
    @BelleSorciere Seems like that would make it a little easier I would think. But even two gamers can get to scrappn' every now and again I reckon, hehheh.

    @Arctodus Ahhh, yes, my days before the 2008-9 crash. Busy working and trying to make the family/children thing go (All went south after that). Money or not, sounds like you have found the balance.,

    I would say the days of youth were easier on MORE gaming time,but I would not go through that time period again for love nor money. UNLESS, possibly I could do it with the last few decades of knowledge thrown in with the youth at the same time. Even so, I different outcome (for better or worse) could not be certain.
    I'd probably wreck everything with a TARDIS.

    ArctodusBelleSorciereAerakar
  • O_BruceO_Bruce Member Posts: 2,791
    Me and relationship? Don't be funny ;3

    CrevsDaaksemiticgoddess
  • ZaghoulZaghoul Member, Moderator Posts: 4,184
    O_Bruce said:

    Me and relationship? Don't be funny ;3

    Maybe I should have added another choice, hehheh.
    Choice 6: Relationships, what's that then?

    CrevsDaak
  • ArctodusArctodus Member Posts: 996
    edited March 2017
    Zaghoul said:

    Money or not, sounds like you have found the balance.

    Well, to be honest, even though life has been treating me nicely the last few years, I take nothing for granted. From past experiences, I know too well that things can go south pretty fast, so, yeah, I know what you mean...

  • GallengerGallenger Member Posts: 404
    I actually find if anything gaming has helped what relationships I've chosen to have. It's good for there to be separation and things you do on your own. Even now I still play P&P on Saturday nights online after 9 PM, so I get my social stuff in on Friday night and any events with the kiddo all day Saturday - if I don't have to work, if not Sunday for sure lol.

    With extremely young kids it might be harder, but once they get to the 7-8 range they pretty much want to be left alone at least some of the time because they're burnt out from school lol.

    Wake up at 7, get kiddo off to school, work from 9-5, hang out with kiddo, and make dinner, until 9:30 when he goes to bed and then I generally game/read/lift until 1 am or so.

    Then on the weekends I try and take a trip somewhere, even if it's just a park or a few shops on Saturday or Sunday. I don't work Mondays so I tend to get my binging of games in then while the kiddo is at school lol.

    I have made the mistake of dating women who were ideologically opposed to gaming for one reason or another - and that never lasted very long, and ultimately I'm better off for it.

    Arctodus
  • ZaghoulZaghoul Member, Moderator Posts: 4,184
    @gallenger Yep, definitely need the separation/alone time.

    I figure others are opposed to gaming either because of some religious or...I can't even fathom why really. Maybe just insecure about being away from them to long(maybe gaining a love interest other than them in the process (in their mind)).
    Yep, better off i someone can't accept us for who we are or what we like (esp. when there isn't a darn thing wrong with the 'like').
    Just too many ppl out their to be stuck in a crappy relationship.

    On another note
    From experience, having parents in a terrible relationship that stay together for the sake of the children does NOT do them any favors. Kids pick up on that, and having to see abuse because of can have an effect on there on behavior.

    Arctodus
  • GallengerGallenger Member Posts: 404
    edited March 2017
    I live in the bible belt so even if they've since left their religious group, or were never in one to begin with, there's often a lot of bias against technology and video games, and Dungeons and Dragons in particular, culturally here.

    Zaghoul
  • ZaghoulZaghoul Member, Moderator Posts: 4,184
    @Gallenger That's a very good point, I'm in BB as well. Sometimes just growing up around certain attitudes can often has an effect on one's outlook. Fortunately it appears we must have missed that 'sermon'(or at least it did not linger).
    The interesting ones are when 'sometimes' the preacher's kids are into enough 'stuff' that their parent's(a preacher in this case) bible might start gettin hot, hehheh.

  • DJKajuruDJKajuru Member Posts: 3,299
    I play stuff on my home computer, but on weekends I usually stay at my boyfriend's far from gaming. Sometimes I miss it, but it's good to stay far from your comfort zone and do other activities.

    ArctodusZaghoulCrevsDaak
  • ZaghoulZaghoul Member, Moderator Posts: 4,184
    @DJKajuru Agreed. For me it's the gym or a nice hike in the mountains.

    DJKajuruCrevsDaak
  • Teo_liveTeo_live Member Posts: 187
    Well I met my wife on a mmo. She used to be a hardcore gamer but one day suddenly she stopped gaming and now becomes pissed when I game sometimes. :/

    Actually now that I think of it ANY solo activity I do annoys all women I have been with. Martial Arts, gaming, gym, PnP, even my job ffs! This might sound sexist but I think it is just a girl thing, maybe their paranoia and/or their need for attention makes them resent hobbies...? [unsure]

    Zaghoul
  • ZaghoulZaghoul Member, Moderator Posts: 4,184
    @Teo_live I have been in the same situation before(led to a divorce- because of that any activity thing, and it was BAD).
    Over the years(decades :) I can see it is down to the particular person rather than ppl in general (if we meet one after another of this type is does kind of bias our thinking) Some ppl are just more insecure than others with relationships, men and women both. Definitely takes some extra communication to deal with the insecure type(that or getting in the car and 'Errrrrrrrt'(insert burnin rubber here).

    Teo_live
  • ZaghoulZaghoul Member, Moderator Posts: 4,184
    Another one that has run it's course. Thanks to everyone that participated.

    CrevsDaak
  • CrevsDaakCrevsDaak Member Posts: 7,156
    Zaghoul said:

    Another one that has run it's course. Thanks to everyone that participated.

    What does that even mean? Is it a reference?

  • ZaghoulZaghoul Member, Moderator Posts: 4,184
    CrevsDaak said:

    Zaghoul said:

    Another one that has run it's course. Thanks to everyone that participated.

    What does that even mean? Is it a reference?
    No, just my thanks to folks who participated in a discussion that does not get much attention anymore. Did the same to the other poll I had up.
    No conspiracy theories or anything like that. ;):)

    CrevsDaak
  • BelleSorciereBelleSorciere Member Posts: 2,125
    No conspiracy theories? What kind of internet forum is this?

    Zaghoultbone1CrevsDaak
  • ZaghoulZaghoul Member, Moderator Posts: 4,184
    @BelleSorciere Er, el rum, huh, Oh yeah, I was talking bout gettin on the spacecraft hidden in the meteors closely approaching earth and my thoughts that the govt. has known about them for years. They already have a pilot training program ready you know. :)B)

  • BelleSorciereBelleSorciere Member Posts: 2,125
    Much better! Thank you for restoring my faith in humanity, @Zaghoul :)

  • QuickbladeQuickblade Member Posts: 959
    Zaghoul said:

    @BelleSorciere Er, el rum, huh, Oh yeah, I was talking bout gettin on the spacecraft hidden in the meteors closely approaching earth and my thoughts that the govt. has known about them for years. They already have a pilot training program ready you know. :)B)

    What, you mean like 'Lifeforce'?

  • ZaghoulZaghoul Member, Moderator Posts: 4,184
    @Quickblade Hehheh.I loved that ol movie when it came out. Steve Railsback was a good fit, in that movie and in X-Files as good ol Duane Barry.

  • WarChiefZekeWarChiefZeke Member Posts: 2,626
    edited April 2017
    My girlfriend of 5 years is just an avid DnD player as me. Doesn't play video games but loves table-top. Big sorceress fan. I'd say it contributed positively but obviously there's a lot more to relationships than similar hobbies, though if you do have them you tend to match up pretty well more often than not in my experience.

    ArctodusZaghoul
  • ZaghoulZaghoul Member, Moderator Posts: 4,184
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