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Shandaxx

Uhm... I feel slightly disturbed by this...

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Shandaxx
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  • Uhm... I feel slightly disturbed by this...

    image
    September 18
    • Skatan
      Skatan
      I think it's beautiful! I think we should birdify all animals.
    • Shandaxx
      Shandaxx
      Skatan, your opinion may be slightly biased.

      But anyway, how should we call this creature?
    • mlnevese
      mlnevese
      Bobby?
    • Tresset
      Tresset
      That actually works quite well because it looks like a horse with a robin's head.
    • ThacoBell
      ThacoBell
      How much birdseed must this beast consume daily?
    • Skatan
      Skatan
      If my life was WoW, I'd mount old Bobby there and ride into battle on it! It would be epic, a magpie riding a "hordie" (yeah, it's a horsie-birdie hybrid).

      Let's try some choices here:
      Hordie
      Birse
      ..
      .
      bi... hor.. Ok I am out of ideas.
  • Aedan
    You want a smack from me, huh? A loud kiss? There you go!

    September 13
    • Shandaxx
      Shandaxx
      What is that poor blue thing? Anyway, as I can see you are still exploiting poor underage pregnant girls. I am going to file a lawsuit at the European Court for Human Rights! Prepare yourself! The final battle between Aedan Snow and Shandaxx the Fright King is going to take place at court!
    • Shandaxx
      Shandaxx
      Not to mention that a true man would fight for himself! And not let someone else fight for him!
    • Aedan
      Aedan
      I am an Evil Lord. I do not fight - I have my minions for that.
    • Shandaxx
      Shandaxx
      I find that very unsexy I must say. Also what would your fellow countrymen say about that? Isn't it really UN-ITALIANLIKE for an Italian man to let underage girls fight for him?

      *Aedan loses 1 Charisma point due to loss of sexiness*
    • Aedan
      Aedan
      Pfew! You are just envy, because you fight alone with no army.
      I have androgynous Sailor warriors as well - you will meet them soon!
  • The spell... the spell went wrong. Would someone inform Aedan that his spell of "Silence" on me did not work the way he may have intended. I was never truly silenced but instead my voice fails when I try to speak to him alone.
    The spell has turned into a curse, and unless it's broken with a smack from Aedan I can never talk to him again...
    September 13
    • Anduin
      Anduin
      So that's why you've not responded to my message. You have been silenced.
    • Shandaxx
      Shandaxx
      Oh no, I just wanted to keep some suspense. I am writing my answer to your proposal right now. It's only Aedan I cannot talk to anymore unless he breaks the curse with a smack...
    • Aedan
      Aedan
      Nah, you are wrong. It's just that the three turns effect has ended.
    • Tresset
      Tresset
      What kind of "smack" are we talking here? A smack can be either a sharp strike or a loud kiss...
    • Aedan
      Aedan
      He means a loud kiss for sure... but he will never have it!
  • Aedan
    You!
    You mocked me when I was held and helpless! You also dared to offend the Sailor Warriors, especially Sailor Venus!
    Behold the beauty of Sailor Venus and suffer the Sailor Warriors' wrath!

    September 10
    • Shandaxx
      Shandaxx
      You let them fight? You let Sailor Moon and Sailor Venus fight while they are pregnant (From the same man atop of that...) ? Think of the babies! I will report you to the Superhero League!
    • Aedan
      Aedan
      Enough with these lies!!! They are just fourteen, they are not pregnant!
    • Shandaxx
      Shandaxx
      You can become pregnant with fourteen...
    • Aedan
      Aedan
      Again, you are confusing the Sailor Warriors for some random wench. THEY ARE NOT PREGNANT, deal with it!
    • Shandaxx
      Shandaxx
      You wrote yourself that Sailor Moon made out with Tuxedo Mask (who is dead now thanks to you btw)!
      What do you think "making out" includes when talking about hormone driven, horny teenagers?

      Not to mention that I have seen the ultrasound images. Baby Tuxedo Mask is on his way!
    • Shandaxx
      Shandaxx
      Oh yes, and once Baby Tuxedo Mask learns that you killed his father you shall get a taste of his REVENGE! MWUAHAHAHAHA!
    • Aedan
      Aedan
      They were just making out, which does not mean...
      Oh, hell, why am I wasting my time trying to reason with a loosy skull?
      *Aedan casts Silence on Shandaxx*
      You talked enough for today!
    • Tresset
      Tresset
      LOL!
    • mlnevese
      mlnevese
      Wait. They are 14?You know exploring the work of underage people is illegal in most of the Galaxy?
    • Aedan
      Aedan
      Please, let us all enjoy this moment. Shandaxx cannot speak for 3 turn. Enjoy the silence, guys!
  • Ahh a few weeks I have been undead now and it's been great! No need to eat, no need to sleep. But of course I could eat if I wanted to. As much as I'd like and I wouldn't even gain weight! Undeath is so great!

    I don't need to concern myself anymore with the lower needs of mortals, and I can completely concentrate on...

    *random dude walks by*

    image
    (by Marccus for new Visual Novel called "Eldet")

    *gasp*
    *eyes bulge out*

    *one of my eye jewels drops out of its socket*

    Oh no! Wait! My eye! Hey you there, wait! No wait where is my eye jewel?

    *random dude doesn't seem to be interested in a floating skull with only one eye*
    *random dude walks past me*

    Aww, the suffering of being undeath... *sobs*

    Can it get any worse than this? *sob*

    *Suddenly seemingly out of nowhere a magpie swoops down, swipes my lost eye jewel and flies away*

    ...

    Oh, the TORMENTS of being undead... :(
    September 6
    • Aedan
      Aedan
      Your pain is delightful. I will make you suffer MORE. That random dude will become one of my most loyal servants!

      ... Once I will be no more held. Sigh.
      Four days. Just four days and then...
    • Skatan
      Skatan
      [Later, in his nest a spry magpie is going through his latest batch of loot]

      "Hmm.. I wonder how much this lil'jewel is worth? Damn, I need to work on my lore skill."
    • Shandaxx
      Shandaxx
      I can still see through my lost eye jewel... I can see Skatan's nest! But I don't know where it is... Should have payed attention when he was flying there... I will continue watching him in his nest and gather intelligence...
    • mlnevese
      mlnevese
      You can always cast a locate object spell...
    • Shandaxx
      Shandaxx
      Skatan's too smart for that. Of course he would cast a Non-Detection spell on his loot (and his nest for that matter). Imagine all the people coming after him if he did not do that.
    • mlnevese
      mlnevese
      I'm quite sure he has no spells that work against psionic powers though....
    • Tresset
      Tresset
      I am pretty sure some of my squirrel scouts found his nest at one point or another. The only problem is that they sometimes have trouble remembering where things like that are. Heck, they even forget about their own stashes some of the time...
    • Skatan
      Skatan
      [Skatan feels an odd feeling back in his spine, his senses are telling him someone is watching him.. he wraps his cloak of non-detection tighter around his body and doublechekcs checks his wards against divination spells.]

      "I believe it's time to set some more traps.. just in case."

      *Spike trap*

      *Spike trap*

      *Spike trap*
    • Skatan
      Skatan
      [Somehow though, in all his checking, Skatan forgot to doublecheck his spelling before posting.. ]

      "Sloppy, let's hope that mistake was not done when I read the scrolls of warding? Also, I'm sure the scrolls I bought.. ahem, stoled, from Lucky Aello are very potent. "
    • Aedan
      Aedan
      *Aedan casts Dire Charme on sexy random dude*
      You are mine now! You will be a very useful and entertaning tool...
    • Shandaxx
      Shandaxx
      ^ Nope doesn't work. In the world where Faaron (that's his name) comes from, elves are completely immune to magic. But better yet they can grow body hair...
    • Aedan
      Aedan
      Oh, well. If I cannot have him, neither will you!
      *Aedan casts Finger of Death on sexy random dude*
      Sexy random dude - Death

      Mwahahahahah!
    • Shandaxx
      Shandaxx
      I'm not sure which sexy random dude you just killed but Faaron is still alive and kicking because as I said he is immune to all magic, including death magic, including Finger of Death naturally.

      *looks over to your victim*
      OMG! You hit... Tuxedo Mask! OMG! You killed the father of the little babies!!! HOW COULD YOU!!!
      The Sailor Warriors will never forgive you for that!
    • Aedan
      Aedan
      Gosh, in my mind I read that he was immune just to charme magic!
      Oh, well. Tuxedo Mask dies and gets back to life so many times, he will not even notice.
      *Aedan casts Resurrection on Tuxedo Mask*
      Sorry, pal, go back throwing red roses away.
  • Aedan
    Just one day and I will be no more held. Hehehehe... You cannot even imagine what I plan to do...
    September 9
    • Shandaxx
      Shandaxx
      You cannot even imagine what happened to the Sailor Warriors. They are not going to help you anymore. Thanks to my help Sailor Moon was able to uncover Tuxedo Mask's secret love affair with Sailor Venus! SHOCKING, I know! Not only that but she's pregnant!!! The Sailor Warriors have a lot of issues to handle on their own now. YOU ARE ALONE.

      MWUAHAHAHAHA.
    • mlnevese
      mlnevese
      A Venusian just had to be involved...
    • Shandaxx
      Shandaxx
      What if Sailor Venus decides to raise the child on Earth? Couldn't that be seen as an infiltration attempt similar to how Martians raise some of their children here to infiltrate us?
    • Aedan
      Aedan
      That is just a bad lie. Sailor Moon and Tuxedo Mask are supposed to get married and have a child. We all know that because the Sailor Warriors had ti visit the future during their story arc.
      Anyway, Sailor Venus is seriously offended by your accusation and she will punish you! Just a few hours...
  • Tresset
    So, I have a question for you:

    As a German, do you rinse/water down your sour kraut at all to reduce its strength? I am curious as to how it is usually prepared over there...
    September 6
    • Shandaxx
      Shandaxx
      Since I don't cook for myself I have actually no idea, which makes me feel a bit less like a true German, because it's about sauerkraut and I should know. Anyway so I called my Mom. She said that there are different types of sauerkraut. There are very mild types, but also some that are very sour. And yes indeed, if you'd like to reduce the strength of that sour taste you can rinse the sauerkraut.

      Are you considering eating sauerkraut? Have you eaten it? Was it too sour for your taste?
    • Shandaxx
      Shandaxx
      Sauerkraut... now this gives me an idea. Should sauerkraut enter the vegetable war? Wouldn't it be the ideal vegetable to put my enemies into a sour mood indeed?
    • Tresset
      Tresset
      Oh, I've had sauerkraut before, certainly. One side of my family has German ancestry and they occasionally make and enjoy dishes with plenty of sauerkraut in them. Things such as sauerkraut and dumplings, sauerkraut and pork/bratwurst/hot dogs, reubens... It can be strong stuff, but I like it well enough. I'm actually snacking on some right now, but that is more because it has an alkalizing effect and I am hoping it will help me with my acid reflux while I am without my meds (long story).

      Anyway, my aunt recently made a sauerkraut dish and watered it down just a bit too much, and it got me wondering how things were done traditionally.
    • ThacoBell
      ThacoBell
      I am learning so much.
  • Thanks for sticking with us for 5 years.
    September 8
  • Shandaxx changed their profile picture.
    Thumbnail
    September 7
    • Skatan
      Skatan
      Have you done something with you hair? You look.. different somehow. Cute and pretty, but different.
    • Aedan
      Aedan
      Nice attempt. You still look ugly tough.
  • Shandaxx changed their profile picture.
    Thumbnail
    September 6
    • Skatan
      Skatan
      Looks cool! Love retro games.
    • Shandaxx
      Shandaxx
      I love that they called that evil clown "Poundsmart" as an hommage to "Pennywise" xD
  • Aedan
    • Shandaxx
      Shandaxx
      Soon you will acknowledge my superiority? Aww, how nice of you. Can't wait for it :)
    • Aedan
      Aedan
      Your insolance shall not be forgotten.
      Soon...
    • Shandaxx
      Shandaxx
      The amazing Soundtrack from Beaver and Tree Part 2! Also a few days ago Beaver and Tree part 4 was released in German. Will probably take a few weeks before it is translated to English just like its prequels.
    • Shandaxx
      Shandaxx
      Check out Beaver and Tree:
      Part 1) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b_UhfUxcEhQ
      Part 2) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KRPk_LBiNgE
      Part 3) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M9UmAOFy568
  • Awww... Playing Pillars of Eternity - The White March for the first time, awww. The atmosphere is so reminiscent of the Icewind Dale games. Awww. And that music, wonderful!





    August 20
    • ThacoBell
      ThacoBell
      I really enjoyed the white march. Quite a bit more than the base game.
    • Shandaxx
      Shandaxx
      I actually do like the base game a lot. Since I'm only at the beginning of White March I cannot say yet which one I like more though.

      I know that many forumites do actually not like the base game so much or are rather disappointed in it. Some don't like it at all. I am actually disappointed by that but to each their own.
    • ThacoBell
      ThacoBell
      Oh, don't get me wrong, I do quite enjoys the base game. I beat it twice before White March came out, I just personally think the devs levelled up while making it ;)
    • Shandaxx
      Shandaxx
      Oh hey, that's great to hear :)
      It's just that I read some pretty harsh critics on Pillars here on this forum which has disheartened me a lot. So I'm very happy to read you like it :)
    • Shandaxx
      Shandaxx
      What the... ? I'm in early White March Part 2 now and I must say WOW.
      The whole White March add on has been so very good so far!!! I'm amazed! I love it!
      The story, the locations, the atmosphere.

      If the White March add-on is any indication for the quality of PoE 2 then we are going to get a great game indeed.

      And yes, while I did like the base game a lot already, I think I truly LOVE the add-on. But I still need to play it through.
    • Shandaxx
      Shandaxx
      Also I love the new companions, Zahua and Maneha. Both very interesting characters and very strong. Played Zahua's personal quest yesterday. It was very good.
    • Aedan
      Aedan
      I agree - Zahua is a very interesting character. I am not so fond of Maneha, instead. I found her boring.
      The White March Part 2 has a very interesting patch and the end... I had to make a very hard decision and my head was going to blow. Enjoy!
    • typo_tilly
      typo_tilly
      Glad you're enjoying it. :) The White March 2 is the only thing I haven't completed yet. I thought the ogres were done very well. :D
  • MWUAHAHAHA, I AM BECOME DEATH, DESTROYER OF ADRA DRAGONS!
    Aloth is badass :D

    image
    August 24
    • Shandaxx
      Shandaxx
      Difficulty setting was "Hard". I don't dare yet to play on "Path of the Damned".
    • ThacoBell
      ThacoBell
      Congrats, I still can't beat that thing on anything higher than "normal". And that's even with WM levels...
    • Aedan
      Aedan
      Bravo! I still remember the satisfaction I felt after beating that monster :)
  • I'm at that point of the game again... I was not able to defeat it in my previous playthrough. Let's see what happens this time. Maybe my group should just do what Edér suggests... xD

    image
    August 24
  • The Bold and the Beautiful versus Beamdog forum madness, which one is more insane?

    Watch the first 23 years of B&B explained in 6 minutes and judge yourself.



    August 23
  • Aedan
    • Shandaxx
      Shandaxx
      Well, that's easy. Since there are no badges on this forum for being the most handsome, most wise, intelligent, charismatic, sexy person - and humble, don't forget humble - Anduin actually has more points than I. But if those badges existed I would have a lot more points than him!

      Not to mentioned I would also easily get the badge for being the most attractive skull...
    • Aedan
      Aedan
      You know your task. You have to surpass him.
    • Anduin
      Anduin
      Personally... I can't figure out why I have so many points...
    • JuliusBorisov
      JuliusBorisov
      It must be the quality of posts, but there may be other reasons as well!
  • Anduin
    Dearest Shandyraxx,

    I was as surprised as you when my fork stunt and my unintentional resurrection landed me a job as a Disney Princess... My next job is as an exotic pole dancer in a seedy space diner in the up and coming Star Wars movie, where I will be saved by a young Prince of Alderran, who will whisk me to his planet where will live happily ever after.

    Unfortunately, my place in cinematic history is not secure due to the lack of an intelligent pet/sidekick... (All princesses have them)

    Shandaxx... In your current form... You would be perfect! Think of the opportunities for fame and fortune.

    Help me, Shandaxx, your my only hope.
    August 21
  • JuliusBorisov
    Shandyr will henceforth be known as Shandaxx.
    August 17
    • Shandaxx
      Shandaxx
      My ascension to lichdom has been completed. And I am not just your average lich from next door. I have become a broccolich, one of the most powerful beings wielding broccoli power... Brace yourself...

      I now have enough power to open the gates to the planes of broccoli on the day the sun darkens. The Broccospawn will come... SOON...
    • Skatan
      Skatan
      Hello.. is that a shiny ring I see on your finger?

      Skatan casts: Protection from undead.
    • Shandaxx
      Shandaxx
      A shiny ring what where? *head spins around vertically very fast as I try to look at my finger*

      Wuahh... someone help... I can't stop it.... PLEASE!
    • mlnevese
      mlnevese
      That was an evil trick Skatan...
    • Skatan
      Skatan
      Skatan casts: Improved Haste on Shandaxx.

      I wonder if he can spin faster?
    • Shandaxx
      Shandaxx
      Wuahhhh.. Staaawwwwp....

      *Shandaxx' head is spinning so fast that the powers inside of him can no longer be contained. Like flashes of lightning they burst out of him, striking randomly at unsuspecting forumites. Shandaxx' powers are totally out of control now.*

      Shandaxx: Chain Lightning: Skatan
      Shandaxx: Death Fog
      Shandaxx: Gate
      Shandaxx: Finger of Death: Random Forumite
      Shandaxx: Sphere of Chaos
      Shandaxx: Maze: mlnevese
      Shandaxx: Abi Dalzim's Horrid Wilting
      Shandaxx: Bigby's Crushing Hand: lolien
      Shandaxx: Meteor Swarm
      Shandaxx: Flesh to Stone: Aedan
      Shandaxx: Disintegrate: wubble
      Shandaxx: Imprisonment: JuliusBorisov
      Shandaxx: Fireball: semiticgod
      Shandaxx: Bigby's Clenched Fist: ThacoBell
      Shandaxx: Wail of the Banshee

      Somewaaaaannn stawwwp theeees.... I don't have controlololololoooooool...
    • ThacoBell
      ThacoBell
      *HRK* I (crush) appreciate the hug (crack) but its a wee bit too (ugh) tight...
    • mlnevese
      mlnevese
      Looks around. Damn. I'm stuck in another dimension... Again...
    • Aedan
      Aedan
      Aedan: *Waiting for someone that will free me from stone*
    • Skatan
      Skatan
      *ZAP*

      Does anyone else smell crispy chicken? Oh wait.. that's me.
    • Skatan
      Skatan
      I wonder though.. can he spin just a liiiitle bit faster? Some things doesn't stack.. but let's try...

      *skatan pours on oil of speed in the boot and throws the left paw of the cheetah so it lands on Shandaxx's head.. eeh.. its green, hairless skull*
    • Shandaxx
      Shandaxx
      *Shandaxx' speed reaches new heights. He is so fast that the fabric of reality around him starts to tear apart. You have a very bad feeling about this. At first there a small cracks hanging in the air. But some of them burst open, revealing... Revealing the horrors of the Far Realm. A tentacle lashes out at you from a crack, catches you, wriggles around you tightly and drags you into the Far Realm.*

      http://forgottenrealms.wikia.com/wiki/Far_Realm
    • lolien
      lolien
      Slurp.
    • Nimran
      Nimran
      *eats a cookie*
    • Aedan
      Aedan
      Aedan: *STILL waiting for someone that will turn me into flesh*
    • Shandaxx
      Shandaxx
      I could place you in my garden :)
      What a handsome stone statue you make :)
    • Anduin
      Anduin
      *Casts stone to flesh*

      I disappear for a well deserved holiday and I come back to you moving in on my lucrative stone ornament business!

      ...

      Something else has changed...

      ...

      Don't tell me! Let me guess!
    • Anduin
      Anduin
      Have you cleaned your teeth?
    • Aedan
      Aedan
      I AM BACK!
      Thank you, Anduin. I knew you would have been a great ally. Now it is time to take my revenge to those that did not help me.
    • mlnevese
      mlnevese
      Looks like nobody is coming to rescue me... Well I could enjoy the peace and tranquility...

      Casts remote viewing spell
      Activates sequencer "Comfortable chair, popcorn and beverages creation sequencer"
    • Anduin
      Anduin
      Well... Don't be too harsh. You did make quite a nice ornamental garden feature.
    • ThacoBell
      ThacoBell
      *deep panting breaths* Okay...that lasted way...too long.
    • Anduin
      Anduin
      Mlnevese... You look far too comfortable... *casts dispelled magic*

      Now remember our venusian agreement.
    • mlnevese
      mlnevese
      Hey I'm back!... Where's my popcorn?
    • Anduin
      Anduin
      *Brings bargain bucket pop-till-u-dropcorn and places it gingerly in front of mlnevese*
    • mlnevese
      mlnevese
      Hmmmm... the Universe is right again...
  • Aedan
    Who are you? Where is my Shandyr? When I started the war, I did not mean this! It was just a way to prove my masculinity to my German lover!
    Shandyr?
    Shandyr?
    SHANDYR? WHERE ARE YOU? WHO IS THIS SHAM-BROCCOLI?
    August 17
    • Shandaxx
      Shandaxx
      You! Now I remember the war... Nimran told me I couldn't trust you, since you were allegedly far too handsome which you are... Anyway... You caused this! Because of you I have become a broccolich wielding power far beyond imagination.

      Thank you. I shall consider rewarding you, in time. But for now I have plans I need to attend to...

      Mwuahaha-heeheehee-teehee
  • Skatan
    Hello, this is your friendly fashion agent calling, you know from the agency "CHA18". You contacted us a year ago asking for pro tips on how to raise that charisma of yours. Now that you are undead and a lich (?), have you chosen an appropriate new name yet? I was thinking something in the lines of "Shandaxx". 'Tis very fashionable in the upper echelons of lich society and you will be the talk of the crypt. If you have any questions regarding how to keep the vigor and moisture in your rotting flesh, just give us a call!

    Your invoice will be sent shortly.
    August 16
  • This week on Dark Matter...

    August 13
    • Skatan
      Skatan
      Old but cool. I think the guy is swedish IIRC.
  • Mwuahahaha! I am back! Alive and kicking... *cough* I feel so strange... like my head is spinning... *rotates head in 360 degree* Wait... this should not be possible.. What... what has happened? O_o
    August 6
    • Ravenslight
      Ravenslight
      Oh no! What has Anduin done to you now?
    • Shandaxx
      Shandaxx
      You! Yes you! I... remember you, I think, the Lady of the Ravens? I still feel so dizzy... must have been a hell of a party. And I feel so lightweight. My diet must have really paid off. Like my whole body... *looks down* ... My body.... ugh... is gone *faints from the shock*
    • Shandaxx
      Shandaxx
      Uhm... why am I still conscious? I... could have sworn I just fainted... What is going on here?
    • Nimran
      Nimran
      I cast the Ferret Lord's Unfeinting spell! Now you can no longer lose consciousness or fall asleep!
    • Shandaxx
      Shandaxx
      Uhm.. thank you... I guess? Who were you again? I am sorry I seem to have trouble with my memory, but strangely enough I feel like I should ask you for a cookie.
    • Nimran
      Nimran
      Why, I'm your BEST FRIEND, Nimran! Here's a cookie!
    • Aedan
      Aedan
      *groan* You were supposed to stay death.
    • ThacoBell
      ThacoBell
      Who overdosed Shandyr on Ectocooler?
    • mlnevese
      mlnevese
      This is worthy Premium Popcorn...
    • Nimran
      Nimran
      You can't fool me, Martian fiend! I know your tricks!
    • mlnevese
      mlnevese
      You know I still have some Perfect Cookies stashed from our last quest, right?
    • Nimran
      Nimran
      *drools*
  • Shandaxx changed their profile picture.
    Thumbnail
    August 6
  • Shandaxx changed their profile picture.
    Thumbnail
    August 6
  • Aedan
    • Aedan
      Aedan
      And you cannot restart the game!
    • Aedan
      Aedan
      Or load an existing save game!
    • Zaghoul
      Zaghoul
      Lawd, that IS game over. Nice though. ;)
    • Virsalus
      Virsalus
      Who needs restarting or loading features when you have command over the dark arts of Broccomancy? By invoking the power of the primordial source of Broccoessence I will have Shandyr walk this place once more!

      *Broccolazam!*

      Huh? ..apparently only his head came back. Well, I'm still learning ¯\_(ツ)_/¯