@0    = ~Help me! Help-~
@1    = ~Why, it is a great consolation that I will not die alone, but in the company of these oafs. I guess I will be served as a side-dish, now. What a relief! It's not that Jansens never ended up in the stomachs of various monsters, but they were all main courses... Aunt Marta will be tremendously proud of me, once she learns of this. You will carry a message to her, won't you? Oh! How silly of me! If you will be the *main* course, you won't be able to deliver a message. Oh, I know! Let me go, dear ogre-ladies, and I shall tell Aunt Marta all about how I nearly made it as a side-dish. Bet she'd still be proud. Aunt Marta is the sort of woman who'd be proud of anything.~
@2    = ~It reminds me of when Cousin Jan had just started smuggling monkeys and- *pauses to take in a breath*~
@3    = ~Noble adventurers! I shall tell everyone about your bravery in saving a small gnome such as I.~
@4    = ~In fact, I am going to start doing so immediately - or my name isn't David Jansen, famous illusionist and minstrel!~
@5    = ~Farewell ladies, I take no offence, for your actions toward me were fueled by the combination of your exceptionally low intellect and my irresistible persona. Too bad that you misinterpreted your attraction as culinary in nature. Wheeee!~
@6    = ~So, Jan Jansen had only smuggled his first party of monkeys from Chult to Athkatla, and Aunty Marta decided to hold a monkey-themed party because she was so proud of Jan. But one cannot hold a monkey-themed party without a monkey, right? So she let herself into the secret place where Jan kept the monkeys, and put them in the cart to drive to Jan's home. Unfortunately, the guards happened along, and so Jan made it into prison for the very first time. Aunty Marta was very proud of it, too. Not every day your nephew is sent to prison for monkey-smuggling!~
@7    = ~They say it was then, in prison, that my dear cousin Jan invented his Bruiser Mates; thinking of Aunt Marta, no doubt. And - Wheeeee!~
@8    = ~Mmm... turnips... I'd take a good turnip with rhubarb sauce over a gnome a la Tunigian any day! Not even as a side dish. A pity, really. Not a single Jansen yet made a proper side-dish. It's not that we've never ended up in the stomachs of various monsters, but they were all main courses... Aunt Marta will be tremendously proud of me once she learns of this. You will carry a message to her, won't you? Oh! How silly of me! If you will be the *main* course, you won't be able to deliver a message. Oh, I know! Let me go, dear ogre-ladies, and I shall tell Aunt Marta all about how I nearly made it as a side-dish. Bet she'd still be proud. Aunt Marta is the sort of woman who'd be proud of anything. It reminds me of when Cousin Jan had just started smuggling monkeys and- *pauses to take in a breath*~
@9    = ~Erm... so how about I bring you some turnips and grain in exchange for the gnome, my charming lady?~
@10   = ~Please do continue, this story is fascinating!~
@11   = ~*sigh* I'll leave you, ladies, to listen to this most distinguished gnome.~
@12   = ~Kill him, please! And QUICKLY!~
@13   = ~Mmmgh... Turnips. Ladies, prepare for a treat!~
@14   = ~Thank you so much. That elfy must have had a gnomish ancestor, I tell ye, to come up with such a scam. I shall tell everyone about your ingenuity in saving a gnome such as I. In fact, I am going to start doing so immediately - or my name isn't David Jansen, famous illusionist and minstrel!~
@15   = ~Thank you so much. And you, my brother in arts - congratulations, this was rather inventive of you. Are there any gnomes amongst your ancestors?~
@16   = ~I prefer you to stay mystified by my amazing abilities. Aunt Marta always was, and even Cousin Jan often spent the whole of five minutes puzzling over my ruses. If I fooled you, I should be able to fool a crowd of miners and peasants. I wonder if one day I may learn Count Calliostroni's Tethyrian trick, which made a bare-naked lady disappear in a puff of smoke with a tray of gems and gold collected from the audience. *sighs wistfully* That was an artist for you! Too bad he was captured somewhere in Thesk and hanged by a group of Thayvian Wizards. But he should have known better than to change the color of the Nevron's robes to green... *bows flamboyantly, reaching even nearer the ground* Good <DAYNIGHT> to you, my friends.~
@17   = ~Ah, I hope that my business in Nashkel will be most profitable. I wonder if one day I may learn Count Calliostroni's Tethyrian trick, which made a bare-naked lady disappear in a puff of smoke with a tray of gems and gold collected from the audience. *sighs wistfully* That was an artist for you! Too bad he was captured somewhere in Thesk and hanged by a group of Thayvian Wizards. But he should have known better than to change the color of the Nevron's robes to green... *bows flamboyantly, reaching even nearer the ground* Good <DAYNIGHT> to you, my friends.~
