Avatar

Howdy, Stranger!

It looks like you're new here. If you want to get involved, click one of these buttons!

Badges

Link with the FamiliarTwitter ConnectorRoad-TestedFourth AnniversaryBG:SOD Collector's Edition Pre-orderBG:SOD Pre-orderThird Anniversary2500 CommentsIWD:EE Pre-OrderSecond AnniversaryFavored Enemy: Multiplayer500 Agrees500 InsightfulsBGII:EE Pre-Order250 AgreesFacebook Connector250 InsightfulsFirst AnniversaryBeta Tester1000 Comments100 Insightfuls500 Likes100 Agrees500 Comments25 Insightfuls250 Likes5 Insightfuls25 Agrees100 Likes25 Likes5 Agrees100 Comments5 LikesBGEE Supporter10 CommentsName DropperFirst CommentPhotogenic
Soundtracks for BGII:EE and IWD:EE now available! Read More
v2.3 for BG:EE, BGII:EE, and Siege of Dragonspear is here! Check out the highlights and full release notes HERE.
New to the forums? Well met! Please read the following rules of conduct for the forums, and we hope you enjoy your stay!
Curious about our plan for the next update? Read more about it Here!
Baldur's Gate: Siege of Dragonspear now available on Steam and GOG!
Baldur's Gate: Siege of Dragonspear is out! Order your copy at SiegeOfDragonspear.com!

Anduin

I love how the room vibrates when you use the black speech... Broshan alnej! for jiak kij uko clever, wiavavy, charmaumn agh nauk-ukourceful lat waukavun aven minuaveuk ro your life decodaumn avhiuk ukhiav.

About

Username
Anduin
Joined
Visits
4,105
Last Active
Roles
Member
Points
18,585
Badges
38
Posts
4,963

Activity

  • Shandyr
    • Anduin
      Anduin
      Possibly the best thing I have ever witnessed...
    • CrevsDaak
      CrevsDaak
      ^ tru dat
    • Teflon
      Teflon
      Much better than duck song.
    • Shandyr
      Shandyr
      Hey Teflon, got any grapes?
    • Anduin
      Anduin
      Or glue?
    • Teflon
      Teflon
      Then Shandyr & Anduin waddled away. Waddle Waddle......
    • Shandyr
      Shandyr
      'Til the very next day!
    • Anduin
      Anduin
      Quack, quack, quack, quack...
  • RelSundan
    • ThacoBell
      ThacoBell
      Can dragons do that?
    • mlnevese
      mlnevese
      Sure... there are dragon priests and dragon wizards as well... the dragons you usually meet would be the commoners of their race..
    • Anduin
      Anduin
      Uhm... I don't turn that easily... But put on some high heels and shake that booty and I could be tempted...
    • RelSundan
      RelSundan
      *puts on High heels and Shakes the booty*
    • Shandyr
      Shandyr
      Oh.My.God.
    • mlnevese
      mlnevese
      Did we record that?
    • Anduin
      Anduin
      Buttercheese, Wubble or RelSundan... My heart is in turmoil! How did this valentines become so complicated!
    • ThacoBell
      ThacoBell
      *Ducks swaying tail*
    • RelSundan
      RelSundan
      Anduin, whats better than being and undead and cool lich? Being an undead cool lich with a personal blue dragon who can even use microwave powers!
    • Anduin
      Anduin
      Yes! My own personal Dragon I can mount anytime I like who can also cook!

      ...

      Hang on... In a few years time you'll go all dead and cold on me and turn into a right Lich... I can forsee these things...
    • RelSundan
      RelSundan
      A dragon would not.
  • Buttercheese
    • Anduin
      Anduin
      I am always body positive! In fact my left arm is absolutely positive due to the electricity making it work...
  • JuliusBorisov
    • Shandyr
      Shandyr
      Yes in times of truce of even peace between cauliflower and broccoli, there is always in increase in broccoflower. I wonder why.
    • mlnevese
      mlnevese
      That is a living fractal!
    • Anduin
      Anduin
      This is what happened when I kissed Shandyr...

      That one time...

      In Bandit Camp...

      I was laying these things for a week.
    • Buttercheese
      Buttercheese
      We used to have these as a side dish for Christmas dinner every year when I was a kid.
      Just as disgusting as broccoli and cauliflower :V
      I'll stick with just the turkey and the croquettes, thank you.
    • Shandyr
      Shandyr
      Hey! That was supposed to be a secret! Now what will they think about us! And we were both drunk anyway... It... didn't mean anything... *cough*
    • mlnevese
      mlnevese
      Can undead even get drunk?
    • ThacoBell
      ThacoBell
      What do you think embalming fluid is for?
  • Shandyr
    Ferrets have a weakness... We need to exploit it!

    image
    January 30
    • wubble
      wubble
      Is that...
    • wubble
      wubble
      LAGER?!?
    • Shandyr
      Shandyr
      You bet!
    • wubble
      wubble
      But it's poisonous and tastes like wee.
    • wubble
      wubble
      You're evil for feeding that to a ferret. Ferrets should only be given real ale. On occasion scotch whisky can also be beneficial in their diet.
    • Shandyr
      Shandyr
      Is it really evil when you are evil to evil?
    • Nimran
      Nimran
      Ferrets are not evil. Groundhogs are evil. Liches are evil.

      You're a groundhog, aren't you, Shandyr?
    • Shandyr
      Shandyr
      If I was any kind of hog it'd be a hedgehog. And those are just too cute to be evil.
    • wubble
      wubble
      Why do hedgehogs need spikes? That seems pretty suspicious and evil to me.
    • Shandyr
      Shandyr
      To protect innocent people from evil ferrets, obviously!
    • Anduin
      Anduin
      Hedgehogs are evil. Sit on one and you will find out...
    • ThacoBell
      ThacoBell
      Its not the hedgehogs fault if you got self defensed to death.
    • Nimran
      Nimran
      Yes it is.
    • Anduin
      Anduin
      The best form of defence is a good attack. Have you ever met a person who has survived a Hedgehog attack?!?

      No?

      Point satisfactorily made.
  • Shandyr
  • Nimran
    A nondescript, windowless white van pulls up to Anduin's evil lair. The door slide open, and a shifty looking Ferret scampers out, carrying what appears to be a small, white box. He places the box on the evil lair's doorstep and jumps up to several times his height to ring the doorbell, then scampers off and immediately drives away. The box, filled with one of the most dangerous weapons known to man, a :cookie: bomb, sits and waits patiently for someone to open it and seal their fate with sugary destruction.
    January 9
    • Anduin
      Anduin
      Ooh! A cookie!

      ...

      But why was it delivered by a white van? Frescoes deliver my groceries in an over liveried ford transit withave a man asking for a signature on an old battered battery powered slate...

      ...

      This must be a wrong delivery. I will do the evil thing and make a lower class subservient person come back and collect said package by first phoning the manager and informing them that a lower class subservient person has made a huge mistake that has caused me a major inconvenience. Hopefully a lower class subservient person will lose their job resulting in their family going without food for a week and possibly causing death by starvation... But depression and suicide would also reap me more bodies to my death count! I have become death destroyer of delivery persons world! Mwahaha!

      ...

      I love being lawful evil! LOL
    • wubble
      wubble
      Dear Mr @Anduin ,

      The package is for you, it is a gift from your friend shandyr. We are sorry for the confusion that this has caused. We would have told you but you did not answer the door and even though we waited for a long time, you did not seem to appear.

      Yours sincerely
      Chris Barrie.
      Local manager of Royal Mail
    • Anduin
      Anduin
      Dear Mr @wubble,

      As you may or may not be aware, due to the dangers of delivering packages from neighbouring nations at war, all post from the @Shandyr estate is redirected to the depths of hades and beyond.

      As for your veiled accusation that I was some how slow to answer the door, I find abhorrent and unjustified. I demand now a full apology and the head of the person responsible who delivered the package.

      Lastly, I find your cultural values misguided. Giving is not enjoyable. I prefer to take. Sort it Mr. Barrie.

      Yours most annoyed

      Anduin
    • Tresset
      Tresset
      I will take the package! The Squirrel Squadron could always use a spare weapon of mass destruction. It is always good to be prepared for anything!
    • deltago
      deltago
      DEAR MR. ANDUIN.

      We apologize profusely for any slight we might have caused you with our last delivery. We have taken the steps to fix the problem and promise they will not happen again.

      We have sent another white van back to your estate to claim the unwanted package and to deliver the one you have requested (the head of the person who delivered the package).

      This package should arrive shortly, but we request you do not open it till the offending package is at least 2.6 miles away, for your own safety of course.

      We look forward to your continued support.

      Regards,
      Sir Justin Beebs
      Royal Mail, executive director of external affairs.
  • Shandyr
    Dear highly esteemed fremesis. In order to defeat the enemy we must first understand them.
    But to understand them we must watch and learn. So watch this and tell me what you have learned.
    What are potential weak points of our enemy?

    January 10
    • wubble
      wubble
      As you can see, even base fereets can best large dogs in combat, what hope do you have against the combined might of the five And the legion
    • Shandyr
      Shandyr
      Hey, would you mind? This is a private conversation of how we are going to destroy you. So be a good Ferreteer and play outside with the others so we can observe you and learn.
    • wubble
      wubble
      Ok :(

      *wubble walks outside*

      *actually it's more of a waddle what with him being in perguin form*
  • I love how the room vibrates when you use the black speech...

    Broshan alnej! for jiak kij uko clever, wiavavy, charmaumn agh nauk-ukourceful lat waukavun aven minuaveuk ro your life decodaumn avhiuk ukhiav.
    January 9
    • Shandyr
      Shandyr
      Acavualpak iav avook tug ni minuave.
    • CrevsDaak
      CrevsDaak
      How do you people understand each other like this? Ah! SECRET EUROPEAN COMMUNICATIONS! MOM! CALL THE CYA!
    • Nimran
      Nimran
      We must come up with our secret language!

      Glompedy gloop, doopedy dodo dop duwapshiboop.
    • RelSundan
      RelSundan
      Cookie cookie cook?
  • Shandyr
    *Anduin sits on a pavement thinking about what happened the last days. He sighs. After all that time he thought he had found someone to play with, maybe someone to call a friend. But he has been tossed aside like a used toy that nobody wants to play with anymore.

    Shandyr has been right after all. Wubble only used Anduin for his own interests. And when it didn't serve wubble's interests anymore he cast Anduin aside. Just like that.*

    "Damn those Ferreteers. Damn Shandyr. Mwuahaha I am gonna destroy them'all."

    "I heard that you know..."

    *Anduin looks up! Shandyr! Anduin looks around alarmed. None of his cauliflowers guards have warned him.*

    "Relax, they're just sleeping. A simple sleep spell. It seems I have truly caught you off guard. However, I have no interest in fighting you. At the moment anyway."
    January 8
    • Shandyr
      Shandyr
      "In fact, I am here to propose quite the opposite.

      Do you remember that Broccoli and Cauliflower once had a common enemy? Once we were threatened by none other than one of the most evil villains in the vegetable world: Casserole.

      And together we defeated it. Apart we would have been the ones being defeated though.

      Now a new enemy has arisen. Just like casserole at its time the new enemy threatens to destroy Cauliflower and Broccoli for once and for all.

      And just like back in the days, we will not stand a chance if we fight this war apart."
    • Shandyr
      Shandyr
      "I know, we are mortal fremeses. But as much as you would like to see the downfall of Broccoli, and as much as I would like to see the downfall of Cauliflower, I think we both have in common that each of us cares deeply for our own respective preferred vegetable.

      As a gesture of peace, I hearby return the Cauliflower missiles that wubble used against me. I offer you a temporary truce. But I would also consider a temporary pact.

      Let the white and green brothers join hand in hand to defeat an even greater threat than they are to each other: Ferrets. The new threat to all of vegetablekind. A furry nightmare come true."
    • Anduin
      Anduin
      I... remember the casserole... It was a bake off between two worthy foes...

      ...

      These ferrets are getting on my weasels... Let us join forces so we can then make them wimper as we remove their viscuals in the most painful methods that we can employ! LOL
    • Shandyr
      Shandyr
      So it shall be! Aedan and Shandyr, known as The Handsome Knights, join forces with Anduin.
      Together the three of us will form the Anti-Ferret Coalition. Mwuahaha.

      Hmm, thinking about it... you know I would fancy a nice new furry coat. And this war has given me an idea just where to get that fur from. MWUAHAHAHA.
  • That feeling you get when leave for a bit and you come back to find your friends are talking about throwing pitchforks and burning stuff and arguing who you are at war with and you have no idea why LOL...









    ...

    Do you think I should end all my posts with LOL?

    ...

    I'm just worried it comes across as arrogant...
    ...

    But I will eventually be the Lord of Lords and ruler of this plane... It is just prophetic...
    January 8
  • Anduin changed his profile picture.
    Thumbnail
    January 7
    • Anduin
      Anduin
      Thank you Eballen... Your art is the right kind of disturbing that I love.
    • Shandyr
      Shandyr
      Eek!
  • Anduin changed his profile picture.
    Thumbnail
    January 7
  • wubble
    To the esteemed and mighty @Anduin, count of corpses, baron of bones and duke of the decayed etc.

    In this secret missive I hereby propose an alliance against the evil @shandyr and @aedan as they have both wronged me greatly and I feel we have similar interests in destroying them both. To prove my loyalty to you I hereby present you with a gift.

    Sincerely

    Wubble


    image

    January 6
    • wubble
      wubble
      Oh

      errrr


      This was supposed to be a secret message, If you don't think it applies to you please ignore it.
      Nothing sinister is going on.

      distant voices:
      We are not a cult.
      We are not a cult.
      We are not a cult.
      We are not a cult.
      We are not a cult.

      Quiet guys I'm trying not to sound sinister here!
    • Aedan
      Aedan
      FOOL! Shandyr and I will tear you apart! Prepare to be destroyed!
    • Anduin
      Anduin
      *Casts globe of invulnerability onto @Wubble*

      Sounds... Interesting.

      ...

      Is the name of our cult "We are not a"?
    • Anduin
      Anduin
      I only ask as the cult "We are nuttas" may feel we have impinged on their name...
    • wubble
      wubble
      That's just the cult slogan. Not sure what the name is yet, the cult is very new.
    • Anduin
      Anduin
      How about...

      A cult above...

      We wear fluffy bathrobes and eat jelly and ice-cream whilst giving long speeches on old leather coaches about the terrible trevails we are currently suffering from...
  • Currently watching Jaws.

    I want one. I think it would enhance my evil overlordship gravitas.

    ...

    But I would need to feed it... Hmm... Do they eat Broccoli?
    December 2016
  • Shandyr
    And now all together, let's sing and dance! What a great song for Christmas...?

    December 2016
    • Shandyr
      Shandyr
      To my shame I must admit that I am much more familiar with this version of the song:
      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AGizmgReKcw
    • Anduin
      Anduin
      In the navy is better...
  • Shandyr
    *You feel very weary. You can hardly keep your eye sockets open. As suddenly you stumble upon a couch of all things, what a blessing this is! You are so tired, you really need to rest. But something is off. In the corner of your consciousness an alarm rings. Somehow you know you are in danger. And yet the couch looks so tempting. Sweet sleep. Will you give in and take a nap on the couch?*

    image
    December 2016
    • Skatan
      Skatan
      "Looks like a mimic.. "

      Skatan: Detect illusion.
    • Shandyr
      Shandyr
      Greater Broccoli-Slime-Tentacle-King: Magic Resistance
    • Anduin
      Anduin
      Look... I know something fishy about this sofa.

      *Spot check: fail*

      But what?
    • ThacoBell
      ThacoBell
      "Tosses lit torch onto couch"
    • Shandyr
      Shandyr
      *The torch just burns normally while the couch is not affected by it at all. After a while though the flame of the torch changes and appears green!*
    • ThacoBell
      ThacoBell
      Nopenopenopenopenope *walks away*
    • Anduin
      Anduin
      That was odd... Hmm...

      *Spot check: fail*

      I'm just going to sit on it.
    • Anduin
      Anduin
      I'm quite positive about this as Gnomes get a bonus spotting illusions...

      *Spot check: fail*
    • typo_tilly
      typo_tilly
      Nice couch! :3
    • Anduin
      Anduin
      Well... Nothing so far... But then again I'm a floating skull... Couches are beneath me...

      ...

      Hahaha! I'm here all week... And most likely the week after that... And the we- You get the idea...
    • Shandyr
      Shandyr
      *Indeed the couch seems to be very comfortable so much in fact that you don't want to leave it. But even if you wanted to you could not. You haven't noticed yet but invisible tentacles with suckers hold you firmly in place.*
    • Shandyr
      Shandyr
      *Your prediction that you will spend the next weeks on the couch seems actually very likely. The couch has become your very prison. You are bound to it. Literally (with the tentacles).*
    • Anduin
      Anduin
      Hey... This thing gives back massages!

      *Spot check: fail*

      I'm staying here for a century!
    • typo_tilly
      typo_tilly
      :o
    • wubble
      wubble
      I check back in after a while and the first thing I see is @anduin and @shandyr at it again. Home sweet home :D
    • Anduin
      Anduin
      *Anduin casts Summon TV*

      Popcorn. I need popcorn... I know I don't need to eat being dead and all... But cultural heritage dictates... I need popcorn...
    • wubble
      wubble
      What about pork scratchings?
    • Anduin
      Anduin
      Pork scratchings are a staple of pubs with red upholstery...
    • Shandyr
      Shandyr
      *You have fallen asleep on the couch. You dream of a young cauliflower. You watch it grow up in very fast speed but it doesn't grow up to be a cauliflower, instead it morphs into a broccoli! "How beautiful you think. Broccoli is the best." You awake shrieking. And finally your spot check succeeds...*
    • Anduin
      Anduin
      Oooh... What a horrible dream...

      *Spot Check: Success*

      Yes! Pizza! How did I miss that before!

      If I had a nose I would have passed a smell check for sure...
    • Shandyr
      Shandyr
      *Indeed, in one of the gaps between the couch cushions you find a not so fresh pizza. You cannot make out the topping because there are several layers of cheese over it. Dare you take a bite?*
    • Anduin
      Anduin
      Ohhh yes!

      *Anduin's skull bites into the pizza and begins munching... Pizza then falls out through his fleshless jaw onto the couch... The couch shudders*
    • Shandyr
      Shandyr
      *The couch shakes in disgust at your eating manners. It releases you from the invisible tentacles and violently pushed you off. You turn around to complain but... the couch is gone and nowhere to be seen. However the pizza is still there and your bite through the layers of cheese reveals the topping: cauliflower. You realize you just ate a piece of cauliflower pizza. Suddenly you don't feel all too well.*
    • Anduin
      Anduin
      Well fancy putting yourself on a pizza!

      *Casts resurrection*

      There you go! Now then, who put you on the pizza?

      *Cauliflower shakes violently*

      What! Timmy got pushed down the well and needs help?

      *Cauliflower half-turns left and right three times before shaking violently again*

      What! Mashedtaters did this! But why?

      This is a recipe for destruction!

      *Cauliflower wilts a little sadly before shuffling off to the fridge*
    • Nimran
      Nimran
      *throws a cookie at the fridge*
    • ThacoBell
      ThacoBell
      *the fridge falls over and crushes the cookie*
    • typo_tilly
      typo_tilly
      Noooes! :u What did the cookie ever do to you? :c
    • Nimran
      Nimran
      *sniff*
    • Anduin
      Anduin
      *Wings extend from the fridge along with a rudimentary cockpit... Anduin climbs in*

      Onwards to... festivity? And... And Begone?

      *Fridge flies forwards, unplugs itself from wall and crashes through window... Of the tower...*
    • mlnevese
      mlnevese
      I hope the Mimic Preservation Society does not listen about this incident...
    • Anduin
      Anduin
      *Fridge continues plummet down side of tower speeded onwards by the Martians indifference to fridges, cauliflower and liches... Anduin grabs the control carrot and starts pulling it back*

      Fly Fridge! Fly!
    • Nimran
      Nimran
      *crosses fingers and toes*
    • mlnevese
      mlnevese
      Oh... I'm supposed to care for the fridge? Ok... Telekinetically holds fridge in place....
    • Nimran
      Nimran
      Cheater.
    • Anduin
      Anduin
      Well I'm stuck...

      Hang on... What are these shadowy forms flying towards me?

      *A cauliflower jumps out of the fridge to have a look...*

      It's just a dark cloud Anduin. Looks like rain dear...

      *Cauliflower jumps back into the fridge*
    • mlnevese
      mlnevese
      @Nimram I'm a 10 feet tall psionic alien shapeshifter... I'm not a cheater, I'm just overpower :)
    • Nimran
      Nimran
      Well, I'm a 1-foot long ferret with an obsession for cookies and backstabs. Super shorty saves rock!