When I was 15 I use to wonder, no hope that this feeling of loneliness would go away when I grew up.
Well I'm 30 now and it's still here, does it ever go away?
Must be nice,
Having someone you don't have to tell you don't want to be alone.
Must be nice,
Having someone you can grow old with until death calls her home.
These stress levels are not healthy
I'm waitin' for that call sayin' your life's endin'
I wonder when this all disappears and they forget me
Will I feel like I found who I was or be more empty?
I wonder was I was wrong thinkin' this is where life led me
Or did I get involved with somethin' that was too heavy?
I walk until I'm lost and just listen to my thoughts yelling
My inner critic talks, I'm just hopin' that something helps me to stop stressin'
Yeah when I grow up, you know what I wanna be?
Take a seat, let me tell you my ridiculous dreams
I wanna draw, yeah, I know it's hard to believe
And I can tell you're already thinkin' I will never succeed
But I'm okay with it I admit the drawings are weak
I've been workin' on 'em, I'll be good eventually
I understand you gotta crawl before you get to your feet
But I been running for a while, they ain't ready for me, ahh
I know this probably isn't really realistic
And honestly, I might not ever make a difference
But that doesn't make a difference, I'ma have to risk it
I've been crunchin' numbers, you ain't gotta be a mathematician
To see the odds ain't rooting for me
I can't lie though, it's kinda how I like it to be
The underdog, yeah, you probably think you know what I mean
But what I'm saying is they ever push me, I'm gonna swing, yeah
I could go to college, get in debt like everybody else
Graduate and probably get a job that doesn't pay the bills
That don't make a lot of sense to me
They want me to beg, they want me to plead, they want me to die
They just want me dead, they just want me hurt
Don't want me to live, don't want me alive
Stop with the pretending, I don't feel respected
I just feel rejected, I don't like rejection
You promise protection, I don't feel protected
I just feel neglected, how can I respect it?
I'll teach them a lesson, I pick up the weapon
Aim in your direction, shoot at my reflection
Shatter my perception, hate it when I'm desperate
You just want perfection
There are two groups of people in this world that I am so unbelievably tired of and they are self flagellating guilty white people and angry from well off to rich but pretend to be oppressed blacks!
