Skip to content

Miranda Rights for Trolls

BattlehamsterBattlehamster Member Posts: 298
in Off-Topic
In an act of sheer boredom I made this so I could copy pasta responses to the internet trolls rather than waste time speaking to them. Its gotten me a few laughs already:

Sir, you have the right to remain stupid. Anything you say can and will be used against you on a forum of public opinion. You have the right to cease being stupid.You have the right to consult wikipedia before speaking to others and to have a brain present during commenting now or in the future. If you cannot understand reasonably intelligent people an idiot of differing opinion will be appointed to you before commenting if you wish. If you decide to comment now without a brain present you will still have the right to stop commenting at any time until you consult wikipedia. Knowing and understanding your rights as I have explained them to you, are you willing to cease being stupid without wikipedia present?

Comments

  • FredjoFredjo Member Posts: 477
    edited November 2013
    Battlehamster said:

    In an act of sheer boredom I made this so I could copy pasta responses to the internet trolls rather than waste time speaking to them. Its gotten me a few laughs already:

    Sir, you have the right to remain stupid. Anything you say can and will be used against you on a forum of public opinion. You have the right to cease being stupid.You have the right to consult wikipedia before speaking to others and to have a brain present during commenting now or in the future. If you cannot understand reasonably intelligent people an idiot of differing opinion will be appointed to you before commenting if you wish. If you decide to comment now without a brain present you will still have the right to stop commenting at any time until you consult wikipedia. Knowing and understanding your rights as I have explained them to you, are you willing to cease being stupid without wikipedia present?

    You should add "Madame" you know, to be politically correct :)
  • Kitteh_On_A_CloudKitteh_On_A_Cloud Member Posts: 1,629
    I don't immediately see Wikipedia as a trustworthy source of information, but alas, good post, sir. Oh, and @Fredjo, this wouldn't be a case of political correctness, but rather a case of sexual discrimination when leaving out 'Madame'. But I've heard and read so much about discrimination and racism thrown around everywhere that I've gotten quite tired of it. Just showing respect will be enough for me. ;)
  • FredjoFredjo Member Posts: 477
    @Kitteh_On_A_Cloud
    True, btw you don't know what kind of monoversation (because there was no con-) did you produce by saying that pot is lethal and all, you can see it yourself but be warned that a lot of text-walls awaits you if you do so :p.
  • Kitteh_On_A_CloudKitteh_On_A_Cloud Member Posts: 1,629
    @Fredjo: Well, I don't care. Let people pump themselves full with shit. This planet needs less people anyway. And some people just ask for it.
  • CrevsDaakCrevsDaak Member Posts: 7,155
    edited November 2013
    @Kitteh_On_A_Cloud
    So you agree with my genocide tactics of "cleaning" the world with nukes created during the cold war?? :P
    I really want to find out what Arioch could have said if we do such a thing, he'll be pleased for sure :P

    And the best way to kill trolls: with FIRE!!!! RAAAAGH!!!
    *Casts Fireball*
    *Casts Sunfire*
    *Casts Dragon Breath!!
    Now talking really, tell a moderator and he'll use his Flamethrower of Oster +5 against trolls :P
  • Kitteh_On_A_CloudKitteh_On_A_Cloud Member Posts: 1,629
    @CrevsDaak: I don't. I was rather thinking in the direction of more birth control in the countries were the birth rate is skyrocketing. China already does it. On the other hand there are always natural disasters, accidents and human stupidity in general. And trust me, not everyone is as good for becoming a parent. Producing kids is one thing, taking care of them another. Unfortunately many cases have shown me already that step 1 is followed more than step 2 in this world. Example: a guy living in my country, jobless, has three wives and 30 kids. They all live completely on social security. Or immigrants in my country reproducing like rabbits because of the extra money they will get from this system. All paid on the back of the hardworking man in the street. In my country such madness apparently is allowed. I could go deeper into it, but I don't feel like it, and it would lead to off-topicness anyway. It's making me bitter, is all.
  • CrevsDaakCrevsDaak Member Posts: 7,155
    Kitteh_On_A_Cloud said:

    @CrevsDaak: I don't. I was rather thinking in the direction of more birth control in the countries were the birth rate is skyrocketing. China already does it. On the other hand there are always natural disasters, accidents and human stupidity in general. And trust me, not everyone is as good for becoming a parent. Producing kids is one thing, taking care of them another. Unfortunately many cases have shown me already that step 1 is followed more than step 2 in this world. Example: a guy living in my country, jobless, has three wives and 30 kids. They all live completely on social security. Or immigrants in my country reproducing like rabbits because of the extra money they will get from this system. All paid on the back of the hardworking man in the street. In my country such madness apparently is allowed. I could go deeper into it, but I don't feel like it, and it would lead to off-topicness anyway. It's making me bitter, is all.

    I think Malthus was a genius, do you?? He was talking about this even before anybody realized what worldwide population meant.
  • BelgarathMTHBelgarathMTH Member Posts: 5,653
    @Battlehamster, it's funny, I guess, but it's also kind of mean-spirited and provocative, if you're actually going to say that to somebody because their opinion is different from yours. Sorry, but I kind of hope you're kidding here, and that you wouldn't insult somebody like that just for disagreeing with you about something. Are you going to post it to me now because I just said that?

    It certainly cuts off productive discussion. Talk about "ad hominem". You've written a textbook example of it.
  • FredjoFredjo Member Posts: 477
    belgarathmth said:

    @Battlehamster, it's funny, I guess, but it's also kind of mean-spirited and provocative, if you're actually going to say that to somebody because their opinion is different from yours. Sorry, but I kind of hope you're kidding here, and that you wouldn't insult somebody like that just for disagreeing with you about something. Are you going to post it to me now because I just said that?

    It certainly cuts off productive discussion. Talk about "ad hominem". You've written a textbook example of it.


    I highly doubt the message wasn't meant to be just a joke and it's a good one.
  • zerckanzerckan Member Posts: 178
    Battlehamster said:

    In an act of sheer boredom I made this so I could copy pasta responses to the internet trolls rather than waste time speaking to them. Its gotten me a few laughs already:

    Sir, you have the right to remain stupid. Anything you say can and will be used against you on a forum of public opinion. You have the right to cease being stupid.You have the right to consult wikipedia before speaking to others and to have a brain present during commenting now or in the future. If you cannot understand reasonably intelligent people an idiot of differing opinion will be appointed to you before commenting if you wish. If you decide to comment now without a brain present you will still have the right to stop commenting at any time until you consult wikipedia. Knowing and understanding your rights as I have explained them to you, are you willing to cease being stupid without wikipedia present?

    Sir, you have the right to remain stupid. Anything you say can and will be used against you on a forum of public opinion. You have the right to cease being stupid.You have the right to consult wikipedia before speaking to others and to have a brain present during commenting now or in the future. If you cannot understand reasonably intelligent people an idiot of differing opinion will be appointed to you before commenting if you wish. If you decide to comment now without a brain present you will still have the right to stop commenting at any time until you consult wikipedia. Knowing and understanding your rights as I have explained them to you, are you willing to cease being stupid without wikipedia present?

  • BattlehamsterBattlehamster Member Posts: 298
    edited November 2013
    @belgarathmth

    Haha nah, it isn't meant to be something serious (well, for the most part anyways) and I wouldn't send this to someone for simply disagreeing, its only reserved for people who blatantly ignore factual information i.e. people who say the earth is still flat, round objects are squares and similar such occurrences. When it comes to online disagreements there are two kinds of people on the internet - those who disagree with your opinion and those who disagree with factual data without actually giving evidence to the contrary. They simply hold their belief "because".

    For the most part people are rational and it is capable for them to disagree with you sensibly either through logic or factual data. I reserve this miranda right for people who don't ONLY display ignorance, especially since I believe that knowledge can only come from a point of ignorance. No, I reserve this for those special kinds of trolls who display willful ignorance and a refusal to accept information which is a direct contradiction to their personal beliefs (This is called "the backfire effect") but its usually blatant douchebaggary which triggers a firing of teh rights.

    The whole "wikipedia" part is used to make the whole thing absurd for comedic value since wikipedia tends to not be a reliable source of information. Because for me, good humor tends to have irony mixed in with it.

    @Kitteh_on_a_Cloud

    Dear sir and/or madame. I apologize for my inability to properly insult everyone in equal amounts. I will be sure to offend everyone equally in the future.
  • Kitteh_On_A_CloudKitteh_On_A_Cloud Member Posts: 1,629
    @Battlehamster: Pfft, I wasn't even being serious when I wrote that. It was merely a semi-joking reply to what @Fredjo wrote in reply to your post. I'm not here for one or the other politically correct discussion. Hate the term myself, and even more so what it conveys. It's become a caricature nowadays, used and abused out of human selfishness. I won't go deeper into it. I however do agree with your stance against trolls. Because having a discussion with such fools is a blatant waste of time.
  • BattlehamsterBattlehamster Member Posts: 298
    Its okay, I got the joke lol. It was my joking reply to a joke to a joking reply. Typically I am not one to be taken seriously on teh interwebz.
  • Kitteh_On_A_CloudKitteh_On_A_Cloud Member Posts: 1,629
    Well, alll in all, I think the trolling is quite meek and nearly non-existant on this forum, which I can only appreciate, especially out of bad past experiences. :)
  • zerckanzerckan Member Posts: 178
    Kitteh_On_A_Cloud said:

    Well, alll in all, I think the trolling is quite meek and nearly non-existant on this forum, which I can only appreciate, especially out of bad past experiences. :)

    Hold on there.
    I'll just link this forum on Blizzard forums, promising their trolls a new realm to conquer, more fame and glory to seize!
  • LadyRhianLadyRhian Member Posts: 14,694
    @Zerckan Please, sir, I would prefer you not to. ;) And I've dealt with more than a few trolls here, and am not eager to repeat the experience. I have no problem with someone disagreeing with me- goodness knows I say things that incite disagreement! But when it becomes intransigence and entrenched stupidity because someone is loath to admit being wrong is when I start getting annoyed. Especially when just using the word "argument" incites flames. ("I'M NOT ARGUING!!!111!!eleventy!!")
  • FinneousPJFinneousPJ Member Posts: 6,455
    Who's Miranda and is she hot?
  • MichailMichail Member Posts: 196
    edited November 2013
    A forum can sometimes be trolled by self identified troll seekers... No offence meant, just good old trolling... (see how easy it is?).

    @FinneousPJ
    Yes, Miranda is very hot. As hot as a bridge troll demanding you give it a red herring to let you cross the bridge, while you have a bazooka with a troll seeking missile, if said missile was a heat seeking missile, and the troll was a plate of freshly baked cookies. Mm! Cookies! Don't let the troll eat my cookies. Give it the red herring instead.

    PS. An insightful to anyone who can make sense of my nonsensical nonsense. And then I'll troll him (ladies excluded, I have manners).
    Post edited by Michail on
  • BattlehamsterBattlehamster Member Posts: 298
    Oh I won't lie, trolling is absolutely fun. I just happen to be someone who has to be coerced into trolling. Its kind of like being the lion in a gladiatorial arena. Lions are inherently lazy and don't really want to exert themselves, but when someone pokes you with a stick and tells you dinner is just a maul away, it gets you moving enough to realize there is a free meal involved so faqadit.
  • CrevsDaakCrevsDaak Member Posts: 7,155
    By the way, I have a cousin named Miranda :P
  • CorianderCoriander Member Posts: 1,667
    Miranda died like 40 years ago, not sure how hot that makes him. <_<

    Anyways... I just popped in to say that we're Canadian. We do have something like Miranda but the spiel is a bit different from the Hollywood version. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Miranda_warning#Canada
  • ajwzajwz Member Posts: 4,122
    Here in the UK, you are warned that omitting to say something now which you later use in your defence could potentially harm your defence.

    Also, trolling is generally a loaded term extended to describe anyone who criticises somebody in a way that they don't like.
  • AN_ALPACA_WADAFUKAN_ALPACA_WADAFUK Member Posts: 29
    edited November 2013
    OP your wit is truly unparalleled among men. i hope one day ill attain the privilege of kissing you on the mouth from which such amazing burns flow so freely.
Sign In or Register to comment.

2024 Overhaul Games, a division of Beamdog. © 2024 Hasbro, Inc. All Rights Reserved. Baldur's Gate, Dungeons & Dragons, D&D, Forgotten Realms, Baldur's Gate, Wizards of the Coast and their logos are trademarks of Wizards of the Coast LLC in the U.S.A. and other countries, and are used with permission. Hasbro and its logo are trademarks of Hasbro, Inc. and are used with permission. © 1998 BioWare Corp. All Rights Reserved. BioWare, the BioWare Infinity Engine and the BioWare logo are trademarks of Bioware Corp. Black Isle Studios and the Black Isle Studios logo are trademarks of Interplay Entertainment Corp. Atari and the Atari logo are trademarks owned by Atari Interactive, Inc. All other trademarks are the property of their respective owners.