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Bard Songs

Hello everyone. I'm not too sure if this is in the right place or not so if it's not it would be great if the mods could help me out and move it :)

I was just wondering if anyone out there who plays a bard might sometimes write songs that they feel their character would probably sing. I have just started a skald play through and thought I would give it a go but was wondering if anyone had any tips for me?

I have only written one so far and here it is -


Father Lost:

Where shadows dwell upon the land,
Did the father run,
A deluge of death did he meet, and,
Bade the child to flee.

When shadows fell upon the land,
Did the child run,
Sprang she as a dear from a trap, and,
Left the father in the lea.

While shadows cast upon the land,
Did the father blaze,
With white fire in his heart, and,
Wielding potent magic.

With shadows fast upon the land,
Cast they the father into a haze,
Sundered his shield, sliced him with swords, and,
Knew the child that it was tragic.

When light shone upon the land,
Did the child spake,
'Oh father lost! Awake say I, and,
Leave me not alone!'

Where light had borne the very land,
Did the father awake,
'Oh sweet child! Listen say I, and,
Hear now my tones!'

'While light bathes the land,
Be I with thee,
I am the light upon thine face, and,
The warmth of the summer best.'

'With light rays upon the land,
Be I at peace,
I am free from fear, in life beyond death, and,
I am a spirit at rest.


For a first attempt I wasn't too unhappy with it but I do feel it is a bit Tolkien hobbit-esque, which might not be a bad thing! I was just hoping for a little feedback/ tips to help me (and my character!) become a better bard :)

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