Realizing your dreams
Today, I started something I've thought about doing for a long time. I put on my headphones, blasting some metulz in to my skull, took my fancy new keyboard and started writing a book. 3 hours and 4 pages later, this feeling is incredible. I have no idea where this thing is going, as I haven't planned pretty much anything about this particular story, but I'm hopeful it will turn out to be something good.
After sharing my feels with you, I'd like to ask whether any of you have realized some lifelong dream, and how it's turned out. Also, if you have any (legal) dreams, go ahead and DO them, ain't life gon' wait.
After sharing my feels with you, I'd like to ask whether any of you have realized some lifelong dream, and how it's turned out. Also, if you have any (legal) dreams, go ahead and DO them, ain't life gon' wait.
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It was harsh.
There is one particular thing that makes me stay on the edge, concentrated for hours and quite remarkably it's not the thing I study at university! I mean, I love chemistry, but it's not exactly what I was hoping for! :P
I think my true passion is producing. Rendering, editing, or just directing videos and/or more. But I've heard stories about directing schools. I don't like those stories and their dictatorial feeling to it. I'd like to have liberal freedom when doing editing, cutting and trimming clips, changing audio balance, adding special effects. It's fun, but I'd like to do it by my own free will. Now I just gotta convince a couple of Hollywood actors... XD
Nice job Imperator.
It's a big dream and will never be reached, probably. But at least I found a way to live that dream in part by striving to voice the needs of the mentally ill with the local government, bringing people together, the mentally ill with local politicians, with writing, with giving lectures from a client-point-of-view. The depressions are still there, the anxiety (the stuttering when I'm overly stressed - for me it's something that didn't use to be there but came into my life in fits of rage, despair and anxiety). But at least I know I have a goal in life. A thing I desperately need so as not to ragequit life.
Luckily all those heartfelt passions about creating a better world and the tendency of me to exert myself beyond my capabilities (I'm mentally able to work about 7 hours a week, beyond it, I'm getting into the danger zone), there's games, to submerge myself in a different reality for a few hours (even though there's lots of war and struggle in games, it's somehow strangely fullfilling to deal with evil just by waving a sword and slinging spells, instead of the slow political struggle that is creating consciousness of what would be a just and resilient world in real life).
Becoming a great martial artist? Not possible, due to one small disadvantage in build of my spine. To realize such dream, one must train hard. The problem is, too much pressure on my spine equal months of pain. Months of pain means lack of improvement, due to the fact that, evin without any physical damage, pain cases the muscle on my lower body part to tense, and that means that they cannot be stretched properly and they doesn't work properly. This renders me completely unable to learn any advanced kicks techniques (that kind of techniques often requires good flexibility).
Becoming great at drawing? I don't have any kind of talent, and because of this ammount of work for me to become "little better than pathetic"* at drawing is insane. I don't even mention becoming "good", because I have entirely different definiton of what "good at something" means that majority of the people. Besides, I'm unable to draw even something with half-assed quality without any references. I'm still trying, but it's like I'm not going anywhere with this.
Having satisfactionary and well-paid job in the future? Well, satisfactionary is not that big problem. But "well-paid" is not possible in where I live. I'm serious.
Want to see the world/travel? No money, equals no resources to to do so.
If you want to do something, use the world "plan" or "ambition" instead of dream. Because dreams aren't usually come true. That is to say, they can sometimes.
*If anyone recalls my previous forum avatar, I draw it myself. So you can have idea what I am "capable" of,
But I digress. This discussion has become a bit derailed. So let's focus less on your monetary issues which prevent you from realizing those dreams which apparently require you to leave everything, and focus more on what you can and have achieved.
I already said this, but in my opinion doing what you dream of doing does not require quitting your day job or studies. My dream (of writing) is not a particularly expensive one, maybe a spell checker at some point, but I don't see how it would change even if it was more expensive. Isn't it worth it? After all, we spend (hard-earned) money on things that entertain and amuse us for a few hours, so why not take some of that money and amuse yourself. And no, that's not a masturbation joke. For me, that's what realizing one's dreams is all about, inner happiness and all that lah-deh-daa, and that can and should be achieved without... and shit I lost my train of thought. Well, I hope you get the idea.
And to further define the thread, let's not talk about things we want, such as cars, money and womyn, those should be things that come after one has achieved their dreams, if they are of the sort that bring money. Which, I say again, should not be the point of all this.
Inner peace. Equilibrium. Zen, dude.
Anyway, I deleted my two rants. You're absolutely right, I needed to Zen out, there. Sorry.
Having enough money to not have to worry about buying groceries, and paying utilities and property taxes is my dream, though. That and a world like Son_of_Imoen describes.
They always end when you wake up.
I like realistic goals.
Like, becoming stronger and stronger and better unti i TAKE OVER THE WORLD.
Didn't see that coming, did you? ;p
I went to college for a semester and decided I really, really didn't like it, which is totally weird because I was great in high school. A-B student, all the time. But when I went to Pepperdine University, it was a place where rich kids hung out and wasted their parents' money and stuff, doing whatever they wanted, not really thinking about the future. It was wrong to me. My major was Computer Science, but I found myself hating it. I had to drop Calc 1. First time I ever dropped a class. My parents were pretty freaked out, obviously. So anyway, I finished out the semester and left.
When I got home, I was incredibly quick to get a job. It's my first job. I work night shifts remodeling a Wal-Mart, $9.20/hr. It's not so bad, though it's not exactly the greatest job in the world. I would never want to do it for a long time. But it's a temporary position, set to only last until around the end of August, so I don't have to worry about that. I'm doing an excellent job of *saving* money, I've barely spent any at all ... hell I'd estimate 80% + of the money I've spent thus far has gone solely towards gasoline/petrol. It's interesting to note that, by my nature I'm a bit of a materialistic, vain person, and yet working this job has only made me *more* reluctant to spend money. That's definitely a good development, and I'm happy about that.
The question remains though, what next? What should I do? I could go to a different, cheaper University, studying something entirely different. Or I could continue working mediocre jobs... I don't know. My interests are music, acting, voice acting, and writing, so that's why I'm completely lost at the moment. All I've ever been good at is those things, and of course wasting my time playing video games. Sure I did great in high school but that's because I'm smart ... I knew how to pass the classes because, quite frankly, almost all of them were easy to me. I typically didn't even have good study habits, at all, but I pulled A's and B's. While I actually really loved my time in high school, it wasn't because of the schoolwork, it was because of the damn community. I love my friends from high school, and of course now we are all branching out, separating, going our different ways. There are a select few I keep in contact with, which I am thankful for, but of course it all still weighs heavily upon me emotionally.
Another life, dream question for me is whether I want to run wild or raise a family. Hopefully I will get the chance to both, to be honest. I am passionate to both ideas. I have dreams of being a rock vocalist or some such (I'm actually pretty decent at singing, hard rock is my favorite genre, and most rock bands struggle to find *good* vocalists), but I also possess dreams of raising a nice Christian family. My parents did a whole lot right, but they never gave me any sort of faith or life purpose* and ... I want to do better for my kids. Of course, there are things my parents undoubtedly did very well that I'll overlook and fail to do for my kids, whereas I pick up the slack in the things they did bad at. And on and on through generations. Haha.
(*My parents only ever told me to get good grades. They never gave me purpose. They gave me a few morals but by the time I was 13, my moral decisions were almost entirely my own and I ended up setting higher moral standards for myself than my parents ever did. Meanwhile my older sister has gone on to set lower moral standards for herself than the few my parents gave her. It's a crap shoot, to be honest, and I'd like to do better for my kids. Proverbs 22:6 - "Start children off on the way they should go, and even when they are old they will not turn from it." Yes when kids get out of a religious household they tend to experiment and branch out and such, and that's fine ... They need to discover themselves rather than accept what their parents feed them. The important thing is that they are familiar with a religious life style so that they can return to it easily if they wish/find need for it again.)
I don't know. All these dreams just feel so distant to me. I'm good at singing, but damn, where to start? I practice almost every day, I play guitar most days, I know music theory ... I guess I need to find a band, and I sure as hell ain't finding a band that's striving to be actually successful where I live now. Which is why saving money could be a good idea ... nearest place with a good music scene is Los Angeles. So that's an option. An incredibly scary, risky option. I honestly just don't see myself as having the dedication to pull off such a feat. Another option, actually, is studying Theater Arts at Hillsdale College. My parents are willing to let me do such a thing despite their distaste for the arts*, because the college is incredibly good at getting their graduates employment. You know, unlike every other college/university out there right now. Yikes.
(*Ahh yes there's another pressure on me. As I said, I like music, acting, voice acting, and writing. My parents are both scientists of sorts. Furthermore, my sister went to college for writing, is now 25 and has yet to do anything with her life. Need I say more?)
I don't know. I'd like peoples' opinions, if anyone wants to give them.
I had a background very similar to yours, although I'm a classical musician as opposed to a hard rock lead vocalist.
I was fantastic at all academics throughout high school and college. Like you, any academic course was always easy for me to ace. Unlike you, I followed my dreams from the get-go in college. I was a Bachelor of Arts in Music, and I played with our local small-town symphony. I was also a devout Christian, and I planned to go to a Baptist seminary for a Master of Sacred Music, and to become a Baptist minister of music.
I was good but never fantastic at my chosen instrument, the viola. But I am also highly distractable, and I've never been able to narrow down my interests. I also preferred to be playing D&D, and going to movies, and eating out and working out at the gym, and playing video games, than in practicing my music. Going to rehearsals and playing performances of great orchestral literature were electrifying to me. Actually practicing scales and exercises and intonation and such by myself, I found to be oh-so excruciatingly boring.
I sang in my youth choir, and I took parts with the University opera. I took classes in philosophy and psychology, and German, which were all fascinating to me. It was the best time of my life.
But, in my senior year, I started having a crisis of faith. I could no longer simply accept my childhood faith, or the things I had always been taught about divinity. So, I wound up going to the University of Chicago for a divinity degree.
At the end of that, I knew I could not be a minister of any kind in any denomination of Christianity. I had the talent to possibly become an academic professor of religion, but my admittance to the PhD program was iffy, and, more importantly, I missed my music too much. I trashed the whole idea of my training for ministry as a bad one.
So now, I had a worthless Bachelor's degree and a worthless Master's degree. There was no job I was qualified for.
My solution was to go back to my home University and to get an Education degree with a teaching certificate. My results over my whole life from that have been mixed, but I did get paying jobs that got me through in music education. I was supported all this time by loving and financially well-off grandparents.
So, what is the bottom line advice for you from my sharing all this about myself? We all need a way to pay the bills and be independent of our families. (Mine are all dead, now, and I'm on my own.)
First thought would be, can you stand teaching? That's the best way in music and theater to make a dependable living. You can still get the training you need through the teaching track to take your shot at landing a full-time performance career. But, if you never make it, you will have that teaching qualification to fall back on.
If you can't stand the thought of becoming a teacher, your only other choice would be to just find any bills-paying job you think you can stand. You should still be able to pursue your music and acting on your own time, although there will be less and less time as you get older.
If you add in having a family, you are going to be under extreme pressure to support those kids. I strongly advise against having kids unless you have developed the means to support them and to educate them comfortably.
Interesting, thanks.
I don't know about teaching. It doesn't sound so bad to me, but I'm not very disciplined at all, so I don't think I could really manage to be a good music teacher. ...Also it doesn't help that I don't like classical music, which is the commonly accepted way to teach people. (It's not that I disrespect it, it just doesn't interest me in the slightest)
The solid job and approach music/acting separately approach is certainly a good one, my real concern is getting a well-paying enough job to actually pay for bills and such when I'm out on my own. But the way I see it, if I want something that pays worth a damn to live moderately comfortably, I pretty much have to have a degree or something. Ugh.
As far as the warning of less and less time and more obligations weighing you down: Yeah, I completely understand what you're saying there, and that's why I feel that I'm conflicted.
And lolololo yeah I won't be having kids for a LONG time. I haven't even had a girlfriend in my life and I'm nineteen. Too damn picky, and any girl I am attracted to friend zones me in the time it takes for me to become attracted to them.
I can relate to Quartz, though. Elementary and upper secondary were a breeze for me, apart from math, and trade school was laughable. Now, in university, things are a bit more difficult, and I don't have much interest for academia. Don't get me wrong, I love my subject, English, and intend to get my master's degree from it, but after that, I have no idea. I've applied for a teacher training program, but I doubt I'll make it.
To make matters the tiniest bit worse, I'm 23 and I've never had a job. Well, apart from that one time when I was a phone salesperson for a day and a half (horrible, horrible job). My severe introversion really makes some jobs impossible for me, as I can't really interact with people. I should apply for some part-time job, just to get padding for my CV. Too bad I'm lazy.
Contrary to what I said earlier, I'm going to give advice, so gather up children, and listen closely. First, have a fall-back job. Second, get an outsiders opinion on your skills. Third, life rarely works out the way you want to, so you might as well do what you want. I mean, security is nice and all, but I doubt nowadays anyone has died out of failing in something. Unless you failed big time and killed yourself, that is. Four, never talk about fight-club. Five, nobody's going to remember long lists, so keep it short.
where an American oil rig sucking out blood from deep earthly veins
would fuel an aircraft high up in the skies,
with a cargo of light bulbs, plastics, junk food,
internet, batteries, and lethal X rays.
I dreamt of a world
where a dirty British coaster with a salt-caked smoke-stack
would butt through the Channel in the mad March days,
with a cargo of Tyne coal, road-rails, pig-lead,
firewood, iron-ware, and cheap tin trays.
I dreamt of a world
where a stately Spanish galleon coming from the Isthmus
would dip through the Tropics by the palm-green shores,
with a cargo of diamonds, emeralds, amethysts,
topazes, and cinnamon, and gold moidores.
I dreamt of a world
where a quinquireme of Nineveh from distant Ophir
would row home to haven in sunny Palestine,
with a cargo of ivory, and apes and peacocks,
sandalwood, cedarwood, and sweet white wine.
I dreamt of a world
where an ark of survivors from a fatal Chaos flood
would seek its destiny in a brave new realm,
with a cargo of knowledge, and doubts, wishes,
with provender, animals and genuine faith.