Christmas Carol Parodies

kiwidoc

'Tis the season to be silly, so share with us all your beloved Christmas songs - but only the parodies please.

I'll kick off with one of my favourites

Good King Wenceslas cried out
I'll have a pizza Stephen!
From the shop by the roundabout
They're deep and crisp and even.

FinneousPJ

A thousand times this

http://youtu.be/nfYx_013UuY

kiwidoc

@FinneousPJ not the kind of Christmas Carol I meant, but I love that scene so much I'll forgive you! In fact I'll even post another clip.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x9sKpDSAQ7I

kcwise

From Carsomyr Schwings Christmas Vol 1:

Dashing through the hells
with a two handed holy sword
unleashing divine justice on
the unsuspecting horde

Baatezus shout and scream
and glow with hellish light
oh what fun it is to swing
a holy sword just right

Cleansing hell, cleansing hell
cleansing all the way!
oh what joy it is to slash
a devil in my way

A day or two ago
I thought I'd take a ride
with my immortal soul
Irenicus at my side

The mage was mean and rank
of sense he had no trace
tried to take a demon form
and got Carsomyred in the face

Oh, cleansing hell, cleansing hell
cleansing all the way
if you try to steal a soul
for your deeds you shall pay!

kiwidoc

@kcwise That's just brilliant! Just sung it with Mr kiwidoc looking over my shoulder and laughing.

elminster

You know Dorn, and Mazzy, and Imoen, and Viconia,
Coran, and Cernd, and Korgan, and Nalia,
But do you recall
The most famous character of all.

Neera the red nosed half-elf
Had a very shiny nose
And if you ever saw it
You would even say it glows
All of the other mages
Used to laugh and call her names
They never let poor Neera
Join in any magic games.

Then one foggy festive eve,
Frixis came to say,
Neera with your nose so bright,
Won't you cast this spell tonight.

Then all the mages loved her,
As they shouted out with glee,
Neera the red-nose Half-elf
You'll go down in history.

kiwidoc

@elminster this is just getting better and better. Very clever, very good!

kcwise

I sure hope the Red-Nose Wizards of Thay don't hear about this!

elminster

(Obviously sung to the tune of Frosty the Snowman)

Auril the Frostmaiden, was a rather bitter soul,
With a spear of ice and a frosty axe, and a heart as cold as snow.

Auril the Frostmaiden, is a fairytale, they say.
She was master of snow, and the children know she will end all warmth one day.

There must have been some magic in the sword the children found,

For when they hit that goblins head he was frozen to the ground!

Oh, Auril the Frostmaiden, was alive as she could be;
and the children say she could laugh and play,
once she brought cold and agony.

Thumpety thump, thump, thumpety thump, thump,
look at her Frost Giants go.

Thumpety thump, thump, thumpety thump, thump,
over the hills of snow.

Auril the Frostmaiden, knew the sun was hot that day,
so she said, "go run" and she had some fun, and sent a blizzard on the way.

kiwidoc

One courtesy of my not so little brother ....

Warning - mild naughty language

I'm dreaming of a shite christmas
Just like the ones we used to know
When our aunty Mary
Had too much sherry
And then she threw up in the snow

I'm dreaming of a shite Christmas
With one enormous family fight
May your cards be shoddy and trite
And may all your Christmasses be shite!