Hello! Putting together a "non-optimal kit" party for IWD EE. Thought I'd post bios as I wrote them. Here's #1...
When Mr. Muppo Mopkins of Beluir threatened hollering and hiding should any celebration be organized in honoring his eleventy-tenth birthday, there was much murmuring and muttering in Luiren.
For Muppo was a celebrity, but a celebrity tired of constant adulation, feinting, and brown-nosing, desiring to recline into his golden years in calm quiet.
Nevertheless, the Mopkins’ reputation for eating, singing, and dancing stood out even amongst the Hairfoots, who are, as a whole, well known for such proclivities. And thus the Mopkins family scheming began.
Although it was Mandy Mopkins, Muppo’s niece and the reining Mopkins matriarch, who stirred the pot, it was Mandy’s wee-one, Hopkins Mopkins, who would make the fateful error.
See, Muppo’s fame garnered the halfling some powerful friends. Indeed it was Rideau Ryswick the Wizard, renown throughout The Realms for his adventures, magical might, and goodness of heart, who Mandy hoped would change Muppo’s mind. For Rideau’s very appearance, preferably as a surprise, would delight even the most ornery-minded Mopkins from the sourest of moods.
Young Hopkins had his own idea to sway Muppo’s mood. For what Hopkins lacked in mindfulness he made up for in mental and physical agility. And being a surprise, the young Halfling had no idea of his mother’s intentions. For, as Mandy knew, Hopkins was not one for keeping a secret.
Hopkins delighted himself with an idea: he would cheer up his great uncle with a special prank, one that no Hairfoot could ever experience without bursting into raucous laughter.
And so he prepared. The night before Muppo’s birthday, Hopkins slept but a wink. The clever youth worked and fiddled throughout the night. By the time the first rays of sunlight hit the oval front door of Muppo’s home, Hopkins had finished.
For Muppo’s affection for rest manifested most frequently in the comfiest of chairs: a lovely plush auburn recliner with giving yet firm pillows, perfect for an individual of a mindset for relaxing. It was Muppo’s favorite and most special chair.
Hopkins, like every Mopkins friend and relative, knew this and there is where he planted his trap: one which would boost any humanoid a full halfling’s height in the air. Hopkins, being a clever sort, then fled the scene to await in anticipation the scream of surprise and subsequent laughter from the famous Mopkins.
Instead, Hopkins heard what sounded like a door knock, followed by excited muffled gleeful voices and wide-palmed back-slapping. Some pitter-pattered feet and shuffled furniture later, there it was: the sound of a sprung spring, a metallic lock, and the loudest roof-shaking thud ever to echo throughout the neighborhood.
And then, after a long silence, there was Mandy’s scream of horror.
Hopkins ran into the house faster than a squirrel from a wolf. “Did it work?” he yelled, “did it?”
His mother, Mandy, held Muppo, now both crying tears of anguish. For there, in Muppo’s favorite chair, laid the body of his most esteemed friend, Rideau Ryswick the Wizard. See, Rideau, like all non-gnome wizards, was a tallkin. His head, though brilliant and accomplished, lacked the structural integrity to pierce a ceiling of Hairfoot construction. Instead, it caved in like a late-summer second-breakfast mellon against a mule’s kicking hoof.
“Hopkins Hairfoot Mopkins,” screamed his mother. “What have you done?”
“This was your doing?” bellowed Muppo.
Hopkins looked on in horror.
“You… you….” trembled Muppo, “Hopkins, you slayed The Wizard!”
“What… what do we do?” cried Hopkins.
“We? What do *WE* do? YOU! You must do!” explained Muppo. “You must go!”
Terrified, Hopkins started for the door, only to be stopped by Muppo’s hand.
“Wait,” he said. “You must take with you this task.”
Mandy Mopkins shuddered and cried.
“You must find yourself a Ryswick,” continued Muppo, now handing Rideau’s blood-sopped hat to Hopkins. “You must tell them what you’ve done. You no longer belong to the Mopkins. You must now pledge the rest of your life, whatever its worth, to the Ryswicks.”
And with that, Hopkins Mopkins for the first time ever, left his home in Beluir.
And thus begins the journey of my Halfling Wizard Slayer
More bios to come as I write them.