The man can't even kill a squirrel!!
See, my Beast Master with the low Int and Frankenstein voice (I love that voice set) didn't like the children teasing the squirrel. So... he charmed the squirrel, then sent it after one of the kids! Oh the glorious sight of them fleeing as if from a wolf.
Once the fat-tailed rodent knocked the kid unconscious, who should appear but Hrothgar to save the day. But did he side with the tortured undersized mammal or the brat who rightly suffered justice for his animal cruelty?
The heavily awarded veteran went after the squirrel! What a brute!
But the little fuzz-ball wasn't so easily dispatched. In fact, it was not dispatched at all. Hrothgar repeatedly whacked yet didn't kill the tiny tank. In fact, the woodland superhero fought back, inflicting damage of his own! Eventually, like a supremely talented pugilist taunting a lesser opponent, the squirrel dropped his paws and simply glared at the grizzled warrior, refusing to fight back (in other words: the charm wore off), even while absorbing blow after blow with barely a tuft of fur removed.
And thus, my party's journey ended. For who in one's right mind would agree to journey into the dangerous cold with such a delicate flower of an "adventurer"? (Also, the entire town turned red).