Baldur's Gate EE on the Ipad.
ramagons
Member Posts: 96
Setting: Stadtmitte, Berlin. You walk briskly down the stairs, take the corner where a twenty-something unwashed busker is playing a Coldplay song with a combination flute, accordion and trombone. You then make your way to the U6 line. You check the display. Your south-bound train hasn't arrived yet. You take your ipad from your bag, and boot Baldur's Gate EE.
At your periphery, you notice a slender young woman in her early twenties. She is reading "Also sprach Zarathustra" by Nietzsche. You look back to your screen.
"He who fights with monsters should look to it that he himself does not become a monster... when you gaze long into the abyss the abyss also gazes into you...
-Friedrich Nietzsche"
We're already connected, you think to yourself. It's like kismet. You weren't really sure what kismet actually was, but you knew that in situations like this people typically remark that it's kismet. You noted to yourself that you should google kismet later, so that you don't find out that it's the Yiddish word for a horrific, gruesome abomination beyond the pale of human understanding that can only be purged with fire and sand. You skip the beginning cutscene quickly, as you've already watched Sarevok kill the guy who, for some reason, is wearing a cross in the Forgotten Realms setting.
You lean towards the woman and remark jovially, "You know, you ought to be careful. If you fight with monsters, you might become a monster!"
She laughs, clearly either entranced by your clever wit or intrigued by the fact that you own an ipad worth 700 euros, which could feed a family of eight Turkish refugees for six months in Berlin. Perhaps she was beguiled by your flagrant display of recklessness in not using a screen protector, which you felt was strictly for wimps.
She speaks in a rich, confident tone with a strong Hochdeutsch accent. "It is quite a...challenging book for me to understand. What are you doing there?"
She extends her dainty hand to point to your ipad. You glance down nonchalantly.
"I've just killed a half-orc named Mulahey that lived at the bottom of a mine. He had surrounded himself with kobold commandos and was ruining iron to contribute to regional instability along the Sword Coast. I had my mage cast magic missiles at him, but my fighter got in close and got a critical hit with his two handed sword that chunked Mulahey. I got him up to 18/00 strength, so it's pretty awesome."
She laughs gently, wipes some of your spittle off her face and touches your shoulder.
"As a German, I find myself enchanted by your preservation of industrial efficiency and the quantitative precision of your character's attributes. Please, tell me more of your wondrous American ways."
That starts a whirlwind romance, which brings you to her Kreuzberg apartment and a wild night of unrestrained, passionate lovemaking. In the morning, you bring back coffee and cake from the Markt Bergmanstrasse. You gently nudge her still-asleep, nude form and present her with breakfast in bed.
She rolls over to playfully expose one breast, and graciously accepts the coffee and cake with a smile.
After you both finish your breakfast, she asks "Please, can we kill Tazok this morning? I simply must kill Tazok."
"Yes, mein Schatz. We will kill Tazok, he's in the bandit camp."
That evening, you accept her offer and fly to her parent's summer home on Sylt. You recognize that you feel a deep affection for her that you've never known. You ponder at how remarkably your life has changed, and how incredible it is that the reason these events have unfolded the way they have is that you bought Baldur's Gate: EE on the ipad. You feel a tear running down your cheek. Life was just so beautiful, you thought.
-This is what it would take for me to buy baldur's gate EE on the ipad if I already bought it on PC. Your move, beamdog.
At your periphery, you notice a slender young woman in her early twenties. She is reading "Also sprach Zarathustra" by Nietzsche. You look back to your screen.
"He who fights with monsters should look to it that he himself does not become a monster... when you gaze long into the abyss the abyss also gazes into you...
-Friedrich Nietzsche"
We're already connected, you think to yourself. It's like kismet. You weren't really sure what kismet actually was, but you knew that in situations like this people typically remark that it's kismet. You noted to yourself that you should google kismet later, so that you don't find out that it's the Yiddish word for a horrific, gruesome abomination beyond the pale of human understanding that can only be purged with fire and sand. You skip the beginning cutscene quickly, as you've already watched Sarevok kill the guy who, for some reason, is wearing a cross in the Forgotten Realms setting.
You lean towards the woman and remark jovially, "You know, you ought to be careful. If you fight with monsters, you might become a monster!"
She laughs, clearly either entranced by your clever wit or intrigued by the fact that you own an ipad worth 700 euros, which could feed a family of eight Turkish refugees for six months in Berlin. Perhaps she was beguiled by your flagrant display of recklessness in not using a screen protector, which you felt was strictly for wimps.
She speaks in a rich, confident tone with a strong Hochdeutsch accent. "It is quite a...challenging book for me to understand. What are you doing there?"
She extends her dainty hand to point to your ipad. You glance down nonchalantly.
"I've just killed a half-orc named Mulahey that lived at the bottom of a mine. He had surrounded himself with kobold commandos and was ruining iron to contribute to regional instability along the Sword Coast. I had my mage cast magic missiles at him, but my fighter got in close and got a critical hit with his two handed sword that chunked Mulahey. I got him up to 18/00 strength, so it's pretty awesome."
She laughs gently, wipes some of your spittle off her face and touches your shoulder.
"As a German, I find myself enchanted by your preservation of industrial efficiency and the quantitative precision of your character's attributes. Please, tell me more of your wondrous American ways."
That starts a whirlwind romance, which brings you to her Kreuzberg apartment and a wild night of unrestrained, passionate lovemaking. In the morning, you bring back coffee and cake from the Markt Bergmanstrasse. You gently nudge her still-asleep, nude form and present her with breakfast in bed.
She rolls over to playfully expose one breast, and graciously accepts the coffee and cake with a smile.
After you both finish your breakfast, she asks "Please, can we kill Tazok this morning? I simply must kill Tazok."
"Yes, mein Schatz. We will kill Tazok, he's in the bandit camp."
That evening, you accept her offer and fly to her parent's summer home on Sylt. You recognize that you feel a deep affection for her that you've never known. You ponder at how remarkably your life has changed, and how incredible it is that the reason these events have unfolded the way they have is that you bought Baldur's Gate: EE on the ipad. You feel a tear running down your cheek. Life was just so beautiful, you thought.
-This is what it would take for me to buy baldur's gate EE on the ipad if I already bought it on PC. Your move, beamdog.
9
Comments
Buy the game for the iPad in addition to the pc edition. , come on man, it's a bargain, even with both editions it's cheaper than most games. Also, if you own both a Playstation and an Xbox, do you expect to get one edition of a game for free, just because it's released on both platforms?
Of course you don't, no one does, and for good reason: It cost extra money to make a game work on different platforms, the same applies here.
I preordered the game for my pc, and I'm gonna buy it the moment it's released on the AppStore for my iPad.
If I owned a Mac, I would buy the game for that platform too, just to support the Devs and thank them for reviving this classic game!