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Favorite Snarky Response by the Protagonist

One of the (many) things I love about BG are snarky responses by the protagonist to his enemies (mostly). Some of them crack me up even when I am doing my 10th playthrough. My 3 favorite ones are probably:

1. "Silence, dog boy!" (to Karoug on the Balduran's Isle)
2. "Your bravado is wasted." (to Demon Knight in Durlag's Tower)
3. "You know what they say - always kill the mouthy one." (I can't remember what encounter)

What is your favorite line by the protagonist in the whole serial?



  • sarevok57sarevok57 Member Posts: 5,811
    edited June 2020
    i believe that third one is in the cloakwood mine encounter at the entrance, and buddy has an equally good come back saying something on the lines of;

    HAW! that is a good saying, i will remember to make your head say it over and over as a puppet on a stick, then something er rather life is good no? - at least, more or less that

    one of the bg1 things responses i like is when you are in the basalisk area and your charname says;

    is it just me? or is this world filled with whackos? alright mr phsyco gnome don't take it personally but we have no interest in your rock garden - or at least its something like that

    actually now that i think about bg1, another line that made me LMAO in real life was the first time i ever made it to the cellars under the blushing mermaid and i was hearing a bunch of females saying; hey sexy, you want to take a look at me diddeys? - ah back in the good ol' days when i was 12

    or the drunk guy just outside the temple of lathander who claims to be a powerful wizard and tries to take all of your money, if you right hand click him enough he will do his "vomit" selection sound, and the first time i heard that i lol'd hard there to

    in bg2 my 2 favourites are;

    in the underdark when dealing with the deep gnomes one of the things you can say is; die svirfneblin scum! and then when you attack their battle cry is; back off! yer knee caps are at me mercy! hahahha ah, good stuff

    and then when you break into the slave lord compound and i believe sion is the one who talks to you, he says something about you going away or do you want to be taught a lesson and one of your responses are; why don't we try the lesson? - hahaha i love how smug that response is

    and then in ToB

    while the quest to get the bronze pantaloons and cespenar has some great lines my favourite is when you first go to the smugglers cave in amkethran and there are some monks who are talking to carras and when they talk to you one of your options is; we all know this is going to end in violence, so why don't we cut straight to the good stuff - ah, good stuff that

    * oops, did some NPC dialogue lines, my bad

  • smyth25smyth25 Member Posts: 218
    "Okay, I've just about had my FILL of riddle asking, quest assigning, insult throwing, pun hurling, hostage taking, iron mongering, smart arsed fools, freaks, and felons that continually test my will, mettle, strength, intelligence, and most of all, patience! If you've got a straight answer ANYWHERE in that bent little head of yours, I want to hear it pretty damn quick or I'm going to take a large blunt object roughly the size of Elminster AND his hat, and stuff it lengthwise into a crevice of your being so seldom seen that even the denizens of the Nine Hells themselves wouldn't touch it with a twenty-foot rusty halberd! Have I MADE myself perfectly CLEAR?!"

    Honestly if it weren't for Portalbendarwinden, then I would never bother visiting the area where you find him, it's just too damn good a line though :D

    Honourable mentions:

    "We want to die" - response to Degrodel after he asks whether you will accept his quest or if you want to die

    "You'll taste this flesh over my dead body! Wait a minute..." - response to Icharyd when he threatens you at Ulcaster

    "100 gold pieshesh it ish, Lushelyn my owld paaaal! *hic*" - response to Lusselyn when he bets you can find Shlimes and Oozshes in the Splurging Sturgeon. I just always find it funny how your character just has to talk to Lusselyn twice and is then immediately wasted (Should also read the journal entries as well!)

  • VanDerBergVanDerBerg Member Posts: 212
    * oops, did some NPC dialogue lines, my bad

    Those are brilliant too. I missed quite a few of them because most of the times I would just rush to finish the game. For example, only on my last playthrough did I go upstairs in Jovial Juggler after Bjornin gave me his quest to beat up those half-ogres and found that paranoid NPC who doesn't want to come down because he thinks Bjornin is after him. And when you ask him "Has he ever talked to you or looked at you?" he replies something like "No, of course not. But that's the worst part. He does that deliberately. I know he knows."
    "Why are you so fat?"

    Okay, I change my favorite one. This one is freaking hilarious.

  • VanDerBergVanDerBerg Member Posts: 212
    All these are brilliant, though they still lag slightly behind the masterpiece in Wing Commander: Privateer, where you are left, upon encountering the final boss, with the following lines:

    1. Who are you?
    2. What are you?
    3. Why can't we all just get along?

  • ThacoBellThacoBell Member Posts: 12,175
    "Snark" should be a parallel stat to charisma.

  • MaurvirMaurvir Member Posts: 1,017
    I have always been a fan of "Why don't we try the lesson?" at the guarded compound, but yes, BG1 in general took itself far less seriously than BG2 - to the latter game's detriment.

  • jmerryjmerry Member Posts: 2,122
    One I've never actually used...

    "No, we like to operate with no knowledge of the world around us. Dugh?!"

    (Response to Delthyr, chapter 7 exposition guy near Sorcerous Sundries. If you go with that response, he just says "Uh huh" and leaves.)

  • ThacoBellThacoBell Member Posts: 12,175
    "Is it true that dragons taste like chicken? Nevermind, I'll find out myself."

  • ThacoBellThacoBell Member Posts: 12,175
    "We're a band if raving lunatics! BWAHAHAHAHAH!"

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