Dialogue authors needed!
Austin87
Member Posts: 281
I am gradually expanding the texts of the BG1 NPCs for SoA &ToB mod (with the consent of the author).
I can code dialogues, but help in writing texts will be very useful to me. In addition, I do not speak English and write through an online translator, so it would be nice if the text was originally written by a native English speaker.
A request to all - if anyone can compose any of the following - write to me, I will try to code:
- Montaron's banters with the following NPC (they currently have no dialogue): Aerie, Keldorn, Cernd, Haer'Dalis, Valygar
- dialogues of any NPCs from BG1 with EE-NPCs (Neera, Dorn, Hexxat, Rasaad and Wilson).
- any BG1 NPC's banters or interjections
I can code dialogues, but help in writing texts will be very useful to me. In addition, I do not speak English and write through an online translator, so it would be nice if the text was originally written by a native English speaker.
A request to all - if anyone can compose any of the following - write to me, I will try to code:
- Montaron's banters with the following NPC (they currently have no dialogue): Aerie, Keldorn, Cernd, Haer'Dalis, Valygar
- dialogues of any NPCs from BG1 with EE-NPCs (Neera, Dorn, Hexxat, Rasaad and Wilson).
- any BG1 NPC's banters or interjections
Post edited by Austin87 on
1
Comments
( even though i've made many silly grammar mistakes in posts in the past that is only strictly due to the fact that having 100% proper grammar wasn't necessary, in fact i had to go over what i JUST typed to make sure the grammar was correct because i even made mistakes in that hahaha )
based on @172 - @177
@172:
everything is good to go there
@173:
Is it worth risking this young and cheerful girl's life to defeat the monster Irenicus? Will she go with you to the end?
- In english you never start a sentence with a conjunction ( ex; a word that combines a sentence, ex; and, if, but, ect... )
@174:
Skie, you have a lot of plans to run your guild, you are very young. I cannot put you at risk because Irenicus is too dangerous.
- In english usually a generally rule is that a sentence must contain a verb and a noun, the last sentence; Irenicus is too dangerous, contains no verb, so i combined it with the previous sentence, and also it helps get rid of the mutli- small sentence structure
@175:
everything is good to go there
@176:
Are you ready for the upcoming battle Skie? I would understand if you wish to leave instead, you do not have to risk your life for me.
- not 100% sure what is going on here, to me it didn't make sense to ask if she wishes to leave and then follow it up with if she was ready to battle. I know in some languages they do things "backwards" compared to english ex; french will sometimes put their adjectives behind nouns while in english they ALWAYS go in front of nouns ect... Grammatically the way i wrote it out here makes a bit more sense, since in english we would ask if Skie was up to the task first, and if there were a chance she wouldn't be, then we would say it would be okay to leave
plus if you want you can get rid of; you do not have to risk your life for me.
and then just put a period after "instead" if you want to make it less personal
@177:
I've been traveling with you for so long ... It would be wrong to leave you here at the very end. Imagine how all my relatives and friends would respect me if I came back with a victory - I will prove to everyone that I understand not only fashion and prices! I will stay with you, no matter what happens.
- just some minor changes here ( I had to read this a few times to figure out that this was Skie's dialogue hahaha ) also there were a couple of future tense changes - since we started with; It would be wrong... that "would" tense did not continue throughout the dialogue, so I switched the rest of the tenses to match it
this is an example of how I would fix any grammatically mistakes your dialogues would have if you want to use me, so if you are interested just direct message any stuff you have for me and i can help you with it
I'll definitely add your adjustments tonight!
Line @176 was referring to a question in a stricter form than the other options - whether Skie is ready for battle or whether she decides to leave the protagonist. Maybe change it like this?: "You won't leave me, Skie? Ready for battle?"
If you can, check this text also, please - this is an epilogue for Tiax... (Previously, none of the NPCs had epilogues, and I plan to write them for each NPC, based on their characters in the mod)
But despite this, fate turned out to be merciful to Tiax. For a long time he wandered through the forests and cities that he so dreamed of ruling, trying to figure out what to do next. He eventually returned to Athkatla to visit the circus he knew, hoping that the legendary flying white elephants would finally appear there. There he ran into his old acquaintance, the merchant Jan Jansen, who invited Tiax to tea. The little cleric of Cyric was so hungry that he did not even argue and agreed. And there, sipping turnip tea and eating turnip cakes, he met Jan's cousin. It was a dwarf girl named Clotilde. When Tiax saw her, he was confused, because he felt something that he had never experienced before. And she, too, was happy that she met a famous hero and companion of the Child of Bhaal. So the story of their love began, which deserves a separate chronicle. They soon got married and settled in a small house in the Slums area, next to Jan's.
Once, missing the battles and travels, he went down to the dungeons under the Copper Coronet, where he had already been in the old days. There he met a group of kobolds. Tiax had already prepared for battle - he had the Shaman's Staff in his hands. Seeing the miraculous staff, the kobolds bowed before Tiax and acknowledged his authority and agreed to serve him. He easily mastered the trick of creating good berries, and the kobolds began to consider him their god. So Tiax found in Athkatla not only a wife, but also grateful listeners, listening to his every word. And gradually, thanks to the miracle of Clotilde's love, his mind began to heal, and the evil spirit of Cyric left him forever. But that's another story ...~
@176 i get what you mean now, although that first sentence is throwing me for a loop. It still kind of doesn't make sense because its not really a question...? It looks to be more of a command so the question mark at the end is kind of throwing me off
maybe something on the lines of;
You won't leave me now will you Skie? Are you ready for battle?
the above makes it so the first sentence is more of a question, while still having some of that "strictness" with it, although if the above doesn't work for you we could try something else
and for epilogue;
After completing the story of the Child of Bhaal, the gnome Tiax continued his travels alone. He never came to rule all of Faerun. Cyric was not going to endow him with such power, he did not even know about the existence of Tiax before that meeting in the Pocket Plane. Cyric's plans were too grand for the little gnome to find a place in them. How could you trust the Prince of Lies and not be deceived?
Despite that, fate turned out to be merciful to Tiax. For a long time he wandered through the forests and cities that he so dreamed of ruling, trying to figure out what to do next. He eventually returned to Athkatla to visit the circus he knew, hoping that the legendary flying white elephants would finally appear there. There he ran into his old acquaintance, the merchant Jan Jansen, who invited Tiax to tea. The little cleric of Cyric was so hungry that he did not even argue and agreed. While there, sipping turnip tea and eating turnip cakes, he met Jan's cousin, it was a dwarf girl named Clotilde. When Tiax saw her, he was confused, because he felt something that he had never experienced before. Also she, too, was happy that she met a famous hero and companion of the Child of Bhaal. So the story of their love began, which deserves a separate chronicle. They soon got married and settled in a small house in the Slums area, next to Jan's.
Once missing the battles and travels, he went down to the dungeons under the Copper Coronet, where he had already been in the old days. There he met a group of kobolds. Tiax had already prepared for battle - he had the Shaman's Staff in his hands. Seeing the miraculous staff, the kobolds bowed before Tiax and acknowledged his authority and agreed to serve him. He easily mastered the trick of creating good berries, and the kobolds began to consider him their god. So Tiax found in Athkatla not only a wife, but also grateful listeners, listening to his every word. Gradually, thanks to the miracle of Clotilde's love, his mind began to heal, and the evil spirit of Cyric left him forever, but that's another story...
so for the most part pretty good, only 1 spelling mistake ( you had pocket plan instead of pocket plane ) and the odd mistake here or there, and again getting rid of all the conjunctions at the beginning of sentences ( and, but, or ect )
so a future head's up; Never start a sentence with And, Or, But
you can either just get rid of it altogether ( which you may notice up above ) or place a comma and then use the And, Or, But ( remember in english those 3 words are used to combine sentences or lists, so they will never begin a sentence )
other than that, good stuff my friend
As for the translation - I copied the text from the online translator and slightly corrected the names and titles - where I saw mistakes, but I understand that the quality of such a translation is not very good, so I am very grateful to you for your help!!
Thanks again! I will continue to write epilogues for NPCs, which do not have them yet
And for any other NPCs from the mod too - write your ideas and dialogue suggestions, I can code them!
I do not have time to help with writing but I can throw a few ideas/suggestions here if you don't mind.
1) More interactions between Dynaheir and Minsc. Its a shame that when recruiting her Minsc does not react at all. It would be nice to see how they interact after Minsc changed from Neutral Good in BG1 to Chaotic Good in BG2.
2) Potential romances with the PC and Dynaheir. Maybe also Shar Teel and Safana. I recall there used to be a romance with those two in BG1 NPC mod for the first BG so it would be nice to have a conclusion of sorts to that even if written by different writer/s.
As for Safan it would be cool to have a love triangle with the PC, Safana and Coran. The Aerie romance could be one of the more memorable ones due to having potentially Haer' Dalis in that equation. It sure could make things more spicy and memorable when the PC got an actual rival.
3) Some sidequests/personal quests for the NPCs to earn they loyalty and possibly later get friendship talks with them after having succesfully complated said quests. I would like if they could affect the ending perhaps in the same way romances do.
Anyway, good luck and wish you the best with this mod man!