Hello there chaps. I'm sure you've all heard of that famous Drow Drizzt. But do you know what it's like living under his shadow all these years. Hmm!? I'm a 5'4 550 lb. drow. Proficient in only quarterstaves. I was spoiled by my matron mother, then when young adulthood hit, the problems began. I failed to excel at the both 'the books of the majors and the lust chambers', and was subsequently sent to the torture room to be whipped by tentacle rods.
I must admit, the thought of it excited me at first, having snuck into the archives and seen some rather saucy sketchbooks from Kara-Tur. Things turned out better than expected. I expected searing pain. However, my many layers of fatty tissue absorbed most of the damage. I did not scream once during the 'enhanced interrogations'.
Having been rereleased into society, I decided to make something out of myself. Went into a local bar at night, got wasted with a few sorcerers, then while they were casting cantrips to see who could retch the most onto their imp familiars, I managed to swipe 8 rings of human influence. Life changed for me when I put them all on at once.
I managed to get my bar tab cleared by doing a belly dance. The jiggling attracted much attention and I made enough coin (people were literally throwing gold at me) to finally leave Menzoberranzan. I used the alias Veldrin of Ched Nasad to hide my famous last name.
Would anyone like to hear more of my tale, or perhaps share their own? I've got Volo tied up in the basement with literally a barrel of ink and ten barrels of Evermead.