Ain't No Party Like a Moonhelm Party
rufus_hobart
Member Posts: 490
Yes, yes, yet another IWD party setup post. How unusual. Anyhoo, this is (one of) my potential party setups for Icewind Dale. As a side note, I didn't realise how many custom portraits I was using in the original until I went to find them for this thread. And sadly, I have very little clue as to where most of them came from, except to say that they were part of one, or many portrait packs I'd downloaded over the years and had been sitting on my old PC for aeons. Even my minutes - yes, actual whole minutes - of research failed to turn up much, except to say that Vada i believe is from Neverwinter Nights, and Saralie's portrait may be found here: https://www.flickr.com/photos/fantasy-art-and-portraits/3103750430/
The rest are a hodgepodge of original game portraits and mysterious apparitions. All credit of course to original artists, and cookies and muffins to those who actually have a clue where I stole them from.
So, onward!
Willard Moonhelm
Male Lawful Good Human Paladin
Party leader, a young squire from a prestigious family of paladins...and one supremely evil sorcerer who terrorised generations of nations as a lich, but nobody speaks of Fester anymore. Heroic, brave, and really really ridiculously goodlooking. Eager to prove himself, uphold the Moonhelm name and sadly, as dumb as a box of spanners and has lived an extremely sheltered life up to this point. Evil everywhere, beware!
Vada Rockhammer
Female Neutral Good Dwarven Fighter/Cleric
The voice of party reason, patient and wise, but headstrong. Enjoys theosophical and religious debates. Assigned by her temple elders to accompany and protect a young Paladin on a quest to the Northern Wilds, funnily enough, just as she was beginning to question the direction and interpretation of the faith that the systematic patriarchy in place was taking her church in. Quite why her Goddess has decided that she should look after naive pretty paladins, incorrigible kleptomaniacs, insatiable elven lotharios, oblivious herb smoking hippies and anachronist fourth wall breaking bards in somewhat beyond her.
Saralie Slamblade
Female Chaotic Neutral Halfling Thief
An evil tempered light fingered child of the cities, Saralie decided on a whim to steal away with Vada after the warrior priestess had informed her she would no longer be at the temple where Saralie often slept and stole from the collection plates. Enticed by what she presumed would be the untouched riches of the north, she dreams of riding back into the city, pockets spilling gold, on the back of her own tame Remorhaz. Plus, as she wouldn't admit even to herself, she couldn't quite bear to be separated from her only friend, even if she is a beardless dwarf with a fondness for religion.
Eamonn.
Male True Neutral Human Druid
Amiable man of nature who went on pilgrimage by mistake. Wandered off following a wolf trail, got lost and ended up in the Ten Towns of Icewind Dale. Eamonn is a hopelessly optimistic soul for whom happiness is always just around the next corner. He likes helping people, exploring, wolf puppies, snow, trees, fish, beings of all shapes and sizes, fresh fruit, yetis, and anything else that comes across his meandering path.
Carandil
Male Chaotic Neutral Elven Enchanter
Seduced by the thought of wild northern women and their homemade brews, Carandil eagerly sought out the opportunity to venture North. Lives for wine, women and song, and for making extraordinarily bad decisions, usually involving the three of them. Sadly for him, he rarely gets to enjoy any of them.
Hans Darwin
Male Chaotic Neutral Human Bard
A Dashing fellow with a truly magnificent moustache, Hans never stays in one place for too long, both for his fondness for truly annoying songs and his knack for mortally insulting the wrong people. A born storyteller and bon vivant, he could not resist the lure of fame, fortune and adventure promised to him by the quest of Willard Moonhelm.
The rest are a hodgepodge of original game portraits and mysterious apparitions. All credit of course to original artists, and cookies and muffins to those who actually have a clue where I stole them from.
So, onward!
Willard Moonhelm
Male Lawful Good Human Paladin
Party leader, a young squire from a prestigious family of paladins...and one supremely evil sorcerer who terrorised generations of nations as a lich, but nobody speaks of Fester anymore. Heroic, brave, and really really ridiculously goodlooking. Eager to prove himself, uphold the Moonhelm name and sadly, as dumb as a box of spanners and has lived an extremely sheltered life up to this point. Evil everywhere, beware!
Vada Rockhammer
Female Neutral Good Dwarven Fighter/Cleric
The voice of party reason, patient and wise, but headstrong. Enjoys theosophical and religious debates. Assigned by her temple elders to accompany and protect a young Paladin on a quest to the Northern Wilds, funnily enough, just as she was beginning to question the direction and interpretation of the faith that the systematic patriarchy in place was taking her church in. Quite why her Goddess has decided that she should look after naive pretty paladins, incorrigible kleptomaniacs, insatiable elven lotharios, oblivious herb smoking hippies and anachronist fourth wall breaking bards in somewhat beyond her.
Saralie Slamblade
Female Chaotic Neutral Halfling Thief
An evil tempered light fingered child of the cities, Saralie decided on a whim to steal away with Vada after the warrior priestess had informed her she would no longer be at the temple where Saralie often slept and stole from the collection plates. Enticed by what she presumed would be the untouched riches of the north, she dreams of riding back into the city, pockets spilling gold, on the back of her own tame Remorhaz. Plus, as she wouldn't admit even to herself, she couldn't quite bear to be separated from her only friend, even if she is a beardless dwarf with a fondness for religion.
Eamonn.
Male True Neutral Human Druid
Amiable man of nature who went on pilgrimage by mistake. Wandered off following a wolf trail, got lost and ended up in the Ten Towns of Icewind Dale. Eamonn is a hopelessly optimistic soul for whom happiness is always just around the next corner. He likes helping people, exploring, wolf puppies, snow, trees, fish, beings of all shapes and sizes, fresh fruit, yetis, and anything else that comes across his meandering path.
Carandil
Male Chaotic Neutral Elven Enchanter
Seduced by the thought of wild northern women and their homemade brews, Carandil eagerly sought out the opportunity to venture North. Lives for wine, women and song, and for making extraordinarily bad decisions, usually involving the three of them. Sadly for him, he rarely gets to enjoy any of them.
Hans Darwin
Male Chaotic Neutral Human Bard
A Dashing fellow with a truly magnificent moustache, Hans never stays in one place for too long, both for his fondness for truly annoying songs and his knack for mortally insulting the wrong people. A born storyteller and bon vivant, he could not resist the lure of fame, fortune and adventure promised to him by the quest of Willard Moonhelm.
13
Comments
I LIKE HIM!
*cough* I'll control my excitement! Plan to do some updates when you start playing?
I enjoy a little lightheartedness from time to time. It suited my Jester to!
http://forum.baldursgate.com/discussion/33047/ivo-windsong-in-ivo-does-durlag-part-of-the-calonord-playthrough-series#latest
Shameless self promotion . . . :P
Haha, Willard is a fine upstanding young man who would never dream of breaking his holy oaths...well, that, plus he's far too busy staring at himself in his finely polished shield, and it's suspected he's somewhat of an inherently racist bastard having only really lived with humans before.
thankee kindly, I was far too lazy to look it up for myself.
The Moonhelm Party lives! With a slightly tweaked lineup due to creative differences. And playing around with the ever lovely CamDawg's mod. And so adventure they did. And a record was duly kept. Warning: This thread will contain extreme silliness, recycled jokes, idiotic behaviour, obvious observations and general lots of faffing about aimlessly. Much like what would happen if I did indeed adventure somewhere. And as such, should not be read by anyone. Consider yourself warned. Oh and double warning: strong language warning ahead. Apologies.
Without any further ado, please welcome the Village Idiots.
Hail! I am Willard, of the prestigious Moonhelm family of Waterdeep. I am a righteous force of good, a Paladin of Sune, like my father before me, and my father's father, and my father's father's mother, and...well HER father was a twisted evil sorcerer who terrorized generations of nations as a lich, but we don't speak of Fester any more. I have come to the frozen north to fight evil, help the helpless and proclaim the gloriousness of the Moonhelm name. Aiding me are my valued companions: the tireless dwarven priest Vada, our spiritual quester Eamonn, our brave half sized scout Saralie, the skilled gnomish musician and entertainer Hans and the astounding elven sorcerer Hadley. I shall lead them all into light, goodness and legend!
I came to the North by instruction from my God...or at least Her representatives here on Toril...my special skills were required here, they told me. A funny coincidence that this happened just as I was questioning the direction in which their interpretation of the faith was taking our church. Quite why my deity decided to saddle me with the task of looking after an insane pyromaniac, an insatiable gnomish lothario, an oblivious weed smoking hippy, an incorrigible kleptomaniac and a naïve Paladin is quite beyond me, but my faith endures....
Why do I always get lumbered with the idiots? Do-gooder paladins, gnomes who can't keep it in their breeches, stupid druid hippies, mages who just wanna burn things. I'm only here to steal as much shit as possible and make myself filthy rich. At least Vada's along for the ride, she's my only hope of staying sane in this company!
Wow, it's sooo great to be part of this! Exploring the North, helping people, communing with nature! It's all good, man. Hopefully I might find some cute little wolf puppies to take home with me too! Or bears! I like bears. Willy seems like a pretty cool dude, totally driven and ambitious, but each to his own says I. Vada is a little touchy, but she's a cleric, man, living up to a God's expectations must be tough! Saralie is pretty fun, she insults me a lot, but all in camaradarie! And wow, Hadley's fire tricks and Hans's tunes just about blow my mind! This is gonna be FUN!
Bah! Too much snow up here, for one whose nethers are too close to the ground. If they suffer frostbite the ladies of a thousand realms shall swoon in sorrow! I swear, could not I have been banished somewhere warmer? A volcanic island perhaps, anything to rid me of this blasted cold! Banished again, the story of my life. Oh, they say, everyone look at the dancing gnome, isn't he funny. Play us a song, dancing gnome, for it shall make us laugh most merrily. And play i do, and without fail... Banished! But wait! Shall I sing for you? Just a snippet? Ahem..."The Royal Princess of Rowhallis, once used a magic wand for a phallus, She...."mmmmmphhhhh! Curses! Censored again!
This place is RIDICULOUSLY cold, but it's nothing a little fire and flames can't fix up. Beware all who cross my path, for Hadley will BURN you into ashes!
pointy ears and no beard ??
ugliest dorf ive ever clapt me eyes on!
Hans: Wahey! We got Morgan Freeman to narrate our story!
Omniscient God-like Narrator: Errr, well, actually. Morgan's a little busy right now narrating another bloody thing about penguins or some such. Also, he's terribly expensive.
Hans: Fine! Lumber the gnome with the second rate narrator, why don't you. Prejudice, I tell you. Put ME in charge, I can tell my own damn story!
Second-Rate-Not-Morgan-Freeman-Narrator: Shhh! Or we'll never get going! Now where was I...something about canned peas, perhaps? No? Aha!
One of the so-called “Ten Towns” of Icewind Dale, the tiny quiet fishing village of Easthaven is hardly a town, but rather a collection of ramshackle huts crowded upon the icy shores of Lac Dinneshere. Here within a dimly lit tavern, a group of travelers sit huddled around a table, swapping tales and making grand plans for the future. Let's meet our heroes, shall we? Or in our case, due to a lack of heroes, let's meet the motley crew we have assembled.
Hans: We've already been introduced, eejit. Wait, Motley Crue? We're roleplaying Motley Crue? Awesome! I bags being Tommy Lee!
Eamonn: Awwww what? You said I could play Tommy Lee this time!
Hans: No, Eamonn, do I have to explain this again? I'm Tommy Lee, Willy is Vince Neil due to his lovely blonde locks and you're Nikki Sixx.
Eamonn: Awwww but I don't WANNA shoot up between my toes and I really don't wanna choke on my own vomit. Being Nikki Sixx sucks.
Saralie: Why not, hippie, you do that for breakfast every morning.
Eamonn: It's called regurgitation and if it's good enough for mummy birds to feed their little babies it's good enough for me!
Eamonn: Hey what about Saralie, Vada and Hadley? Who are they.
Hans: Meh. Unimportant. Groupies
Saralie: *gags* I'd sooner eat Eamonn's breakfast vomit.
Vada: Do you mind! We're trying to present a serious front here as accomplished adventurers!
Hans: Heh, I'd say your front is quite serious, dear Vada.
Vada: Leave it!
Second-Rate-Not-Morgan-Freeman-Narrator: AHEM! I do have a story to tell here. That avalanche isn't going to just fall on no-one, you know!
Willard: Wait, what? Avalanche? What avalanche?
Second-Rate-Not-Morgan-Freeman-Narrator: NEVER MIND! You're in the pub, now go do something!
Hans: A paladin, a dwarf and a halfling walk into a bar? I think I know a joke that starts that way...
Saralie: Drop it, gnome. Unless you want that silver tongue of yours taken out and worn on my belt.
Hans: Below the belt would suit me better, my dear little one.
Vada: Ugh! Hans! Leave it!
Hans: Oh come now, who else will keep your company in these long cold nights? The paladin is sickeningly true to his God, and Eamonn...Eamonn....what in the Seven Hells is THAT?
Vada: Eamonn? Gods, man, is that a bloody deer skull on your head?
Eamonn: It's my totem, man.
Saralie: Totem? Of what, idiocy?
Eamonn: Nooo. My NATURE totem. We're melded!
Vada: Your bloody brain is melted.
Hans: Oh my...who is this by the fire, staring into the flames with such rich contemplation? Beauteous lady, tis my pleasure!
Hadley: Fire pretty.
Hans: Well...yes, the fire is most lovely, my dear, but not half as lovely as you.
Hadley: FIRE PRETTY!
Hans: Yikes! *Sigh* Such a shame, but such beauty is but barely blemished by the madness it conceals.
Vada: Shhhh! Someone wants to speak to us!
Saralie: Well I MIGHT be a mindflayer come to feast on your brains but I fear I'd starve up here in this infernal cold amongst you village idiots.
Willard: Shush, Saralie! The big people are talking now.
Saralie: *grumble*
Willard: Greetings Hrothgar. I am Willard Moonhelm, squire Paladin of Sune, sworn to defend honor and beauty and all things good and righteous!
Vada: Oh good grief.
Hrothgar: Well then, welcome to Easthaven. Whatever your business in these parts might be, I would offer you this small piece of advice; while you're in my town, you'd do well to be on your best behaviour.
Willard: Ha! I am ALWAYS on my best behaviour! I am a paladin, a force for righteousness!
Hrothgar: These folk are under my protection, and anyone who would seek to do harm to them in any way shall answer to me.
Eamonn: Whoa. Was that a not-so-veiled threat? Not cool, dude. Not cool.
Hrothgar: That said, I'll let you get back to your cups. I'm sure you've had a long journey, and you'll find there's no better way to shake off the cold of the road than by downing a few mugs of Grisella's best. And if you're in need of lodging, I would recommend talking to Quimby over at the Snowdrift Inn, over on the east side of town.
Equipment and supplies can be purchased next door at Pomab's Emporium. Pomab's prices are a bit high – even for a Calishite, but you'd be better off well-equipped and short of coin than the other way around. Ill-prepared travelers don't last long in these parts.
Once you've had a chance to rest up and get your bearings, come by and see me at my house. It's just a couple of doors west of here. There's some business I would discuss with you. Farewell.
Vada: Ugh. Is everyone here going to talk for that long?
Saralie: It's ice cold here. Wagging the tongue is the only way to stop it from freezing up.
Hans: Not the only way...
Vada & Saralie: Hans! Leave it!
Random Townie: Haven't seen you in town before. You come from the south?
Willard: Of course. I am a visitor to this town and there are things I would know.
Hans: Such a way with diplomacy, this lad.
Hadley: Mayhaps we should split up and canvas the room individually? Much valuable information could be gained far quicker that way.
Saralie: Whoa! Who drained the crazy out of fire-woman there? She actually has a point.
Willard: Alright, Hadley is correct. Let's split up and regroup in an hour.
Some feedback from me: While this is an excellent colour and reminds me about D2 a lot , this is hardly readable. Maybe use CornflowerBlue instead?
Willard: So! What did we find out, everybody? I discovered that goblins and orcs have been seen -
Saralie: And hungry wolves.
Vada: And giant footprints.
Eamonn: We have bad weather.
Hans: Missing caravans.
Hadley: A humming fisherman.
Saralie: A town drunk.
Hadley: A singing blue-skinned lady of the lake.
Saralie: A tight-ass shopkeep.
Vada: An elven visitor at the Inn.
Hans: A mysteeeeeeerious messenger to the Temple.
Eamonn: A fishbone carver.
Vada: A pending expedition.
Hans: Vada's long lost dwarven sister, Hildreth Highhammer. Rowr. Twin dwarfly action!
Vada: Leave it alone, Hans!
Saralie: There's gaps in the overhang of Hrothgar's house.
Willard: ???…... Gaps in.....Why is that important, Saralie?
Saralie: It's not. Like everything else in this stupid town.
Hadley: A pub with no beer.
Hans: Wait, what what what? No drinks? In a tavern??
Saralie: Bugs in the cellar. Stupid innkeep too afraid to go down there.
Hans: Gods Damnit!
Willard: Huzzah! A quest!
Hans: What are we waiting for? There's poor captive booze to be rescued!
Eamonn: I'm not going down there to kill them. Bugs have a right to party just like everything else. It's Nature's way, man.
Saralie: *sigh*You're going to be a problem, aren't you Eamonn?
Hadley: Burn them. Burn them ALL!
Vada: I REALLY don't think we should let Hadley down there. Open fire plus alcohol plus wooden walls equals disaster to me. Plus, we're only armed with these wooden sticks.
Hans: But Mad Hadders is the only one who properly knows how to wield hers. She has to go down!
Vada: Oh very well. But NO fire! I smell a deathtrap brewing. I hope you have insurance, Grisella.
Willard: Onward! To adventure and gloryyyyyyyy!
Hans: For the wine!!!
Vada: Well that was slightly underwhelming. Eamonn! Score?
Eamonn: Huh? Wha...*sniff* Poor defenceless beetles. What score?
Vada: You're keeping score of our kills, man! Keep up! That was 2 for me!
Saralie: One for me.
Willard: And I heroically slew one of the fearsome beasts.
Eamonn: Check. Where's Hans?
Vada: Renewing his acquaintance with the bottles downstairs. Speaking of absent party members, where's Hadley?
Saralie: Threatening to set the barkeep on fire...
Hadley: 5 Gold! Pretty pretties!
Saralie: Well, we got paid. Cool beans. Guess this food I stuffed my pack with in the cellar is just a bonus. Heh heh.
Willard: It is done, fair Grisella. The bugs won't be troubling you anymore.
Saralie: Wish we could say the same for the ones in your thick head.
Second-Rate-Not-Morgan-Freeman-Narrator: Grisella's Tavern fully explored, our intrepid troupe venture out into the harsh cold...and right next door into Pomab's Emporium.
Pomab: What is this? More barbarians come to my shop? No doubt with nothing to barter with but more wolf pelts and polished stones. Very well...let us get this over with. What do you want?
Saralie: Hmmm let's see. Rusty weapons. Poorly made satchels. Cheap worthless trinkets... Wow, cool store, dude. Oh, nice carpets though.
Hans:That's what she said.
Everyone Else:LEAVE IT ALONE, HANS!
Vada: I'd watch where you wag that tongue of yours, shopkeeper. All this snow hasn't put me in the best of moods.
Pomab: How dare you speak to me in such a manner! Do you know who I am?
Hadley: Yes, you are a pompous little man who runs a little shop in a little town at the arse end of Faerun.
Saralie: Heh, snap, firegirl!
Pomab: Hmph! I am Pomab Ak'azmhir, Royal Diplomatic Envoy of Calimshan and Appointed Overseer of the Northern Caravan Routes!
Hans:Ohhhhhh, I see. Your appearance as a lowly shopkeep is just a clever disguise...to throw off any would be assassins. Much like myself. Am I right?
Pomab: Your poor attempt at sarcasm is an obvious sign of your lowly birth. I'll have you know that I am third cousin to the Pasha himself! Not to mention a royal courtier in good standing.
Vada: If you are in such good standing in Calimshan, then what in the Nine Hells are you doing all the way up here in Icewind Dale?
Pomab: The Pasha...uh...asked me to accept this post of Overseer of the Northern Caravan Routes, as a personal favor.
Eamonn: Ha! The immortal squirrel tells me that means banished!
Everyone Else:..........
Saralie: Okay, can we agree to ignore Eamonn for the rest of the adventure? Please? But, you, shopkeep. That's very interesting indeed. Tell me, “Overseer”, did you ever hear of such a post before the Pasha offered it to you?
Pomab: Well...I...er...I grow tired of your ridiculous questions! I have many obligations to tend to, so I suggest you quit wasting my time. Either buy something or get out!
Saralie: *snort*Exactly. As you wish. Farewell, your Royalness.
Willard: Wait! What do you have for sale?
Eamonn: Hmmm...tight-ass shopkeeper...check!
Vada: Eamonn? What are you doing?
Eamonn: Checking off my list from earlier. See, we have orcs, goblins, wolves...I crossed off bad weather, Hildreth, the pub with no beer and the poor beetles *sniff*....and now we've met the tight-ass shopkeep!
Vada: Eamonn, that's not exactly...*sigh* Never mind, go ahead and check off your list.
Willard: Hmmm, let's see...we have 675 gold, so let's do this fairly, based on needs. I need a Great sword and some equally spiffy armor.
Vada: Great. I need a warhammer and the best armor available. And a sling. Slings for all!
Saralie: Bow, arrows, studded leather, gem bag, scroll case, potion case. Oh, and I need to go upstairs to, er...use the bathroom. Yes, that's right. Special ladies business.
Second-Rate-Not-Morgan-Freeman-Narrator: 1 Saralie-special shopping expedition later....
Saralie: Eamonn! 1 healing potion for you. 1 high quality dagger for me, 1 Tchazar gem for you, Vada. You magic types! 1 Chromatic Orb spell scroll, 1 Sleep spell scroll. Work it out between you. Happy Freezing-Goddamn-Cold Day!
Willard: W...wait! Saralie, where did all this come from?
Saralie: Same place as all the junk you got, Pomab's! I just shopped from his....private stash upstairs while you kept him busy. *Smirk*
Hans:Oh, this Chromatic whatsit scroll reads like gibberish to me. All yours, Hadley, I'll take the sleep scroll. It never goes astray if you need it in a pinch.
Saralie: I thought you had your boring jokes and bland music for that?
Hans: Hmph!
Hadley: Orb! Give me! Orb of power! Orb of fire! Orb of flames!
Vada: By the Gods. Can someone give the girl something to burn before she starts using us for target practice??