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"The Bells of Hell go ding-a-ling-a-ling (for you but not for me)"

FrdNwsmFrdNwsm Member Posts: 1,069
Well, here was another fine mess. MC surveyed the area; a large cavern bounded by the ugliest door ever made, guarded by 5 watchful eyes, which (like many another door they had encountered in the past) refused to budge without the proper key(s). Exploring the area revealed 5 stairs leading down. A pretty transparent clue. Turns out that we could close the eyes, and presumably open the door, by getting "Tears of Bhaal" and sticking them in the sockets. Now, Daddy was no crybaby, so MC suspected they were tears shed by Bhaal's victims.

Onward and downward! Each stair led to some sort of demon, each of which was rather chatty. One offered us what he termed a most potent weapon, named Blackrazor, and suggested we use it to kill a dangerous being nearby. Bah; this turned out to be a captive Djinn. MC just gave him the sword and told him to beat it. What? That was supposed to be some sort of temptation? Blackrazor was a crummy +3 longsword; everybody in the party had a +4 weapon by this time, even Neera. Get real guys! Make it a +6 and you might get us interested.

Next up was a demon who dripped charm from every pore, flattering MC and praising his battle prowess until he blushed a deep blue. And of course, Mr. Charm wanted MC to kill a dangerous beast that only he could defeat. Hmmm, a pattern was starting to emerge here. If a demon suggested you do something, do just the opposite. Not really a hard leap of logic there, actually. We refused and some poor beast lived on.

On the third encounter, things took an uglier turn. Perhaps the demons were getting impatient with mere temptation? Keldorn suddenly disappeared and we were told he would be killed unless a sacrifice was made. Well, doh! Not much choice there, either. Stuck in Hell, trying to get out, and we're asked to give up the services of a powerful Paladin? Bite me! MC gave up some minor stuff and the group went on with three tears clutched in their sweaty hands.

A fourth demon warned us that we would face fear, and offered a protective cloak that would ward off fear. How helpful; unfortunately it was made from the skins of virgin nymphs. Ick! Also, who the heck did he think he was talking to? Berkserer ... fear ... words that do not go together in the same sentence. Buzz off, Charlie! Besides, Anomen had 2 remove fear spells as well. Mind you, there were things to fear in the next room; 3 elder orbs and a couple of wee baby gauths ... awww, how cute! Aww, how dead! The hardest thing was finding the damned Tear; it was hidden in some crystals and took a while to find. One more to go.

The last room had no demon, but rather the wraith or spirit or whatever of that wretched Sarevok. Arg! Did we have to kill him again? Sarevok tried to bait MC into taking Slayer form, but once again, these guys had no clue. MC had taken Slayer form voluntarily exactly once. Aside from getting extra health, his Berserkergang was in every way superior to the Slayer form. MC told him "Don't get me angry; you wouldn't like me when I'm angry". Sarevok didn't take the hint however, and had to be put down. 5 tears gotten!

[Anyone recognize that quote? Hint: it's from an old TV show. Rather appropriate, actually]

Post edited by FrdNwsm on


  • FrdNwsmFrdNwsm Member Posts: 1,069
    edited June 2015
    With all the Tears of Bhaal collected, the intrepid adventurers gathered before the Gate of the Abyss. As each Tear was inserted into an eyesocket, MC felt himself get stronger. However, after the fourth one, Imoen tapped him on the shoulder and reminded everybody of what had happened when they killed the last parasite on the Tree of Life. Right; it might be prudent to take a few precautions. Once all was in readiness, the final Tear was emplaced. Yep; as we rather expected, Irenicus appeared.

    [OK, just as a precaution, I'll do the spoiler thing. Don't want to deflower any clueless virgin who might have wandered in here by mistake.]

    Not only that, but he brought some friends along; 4 demons. Which was ok; we introduced them to our Devas and Planetars, and told the kiddies to go off in a corner and play nice. Irenicus, somewhat irate, assumed Slayer form. Hang on; what the heck? Irenicus wasn't a Bhaalspawn! An imposter! Copyright infringement! Well, MC had allies more fearsome than any demon or Slayer to deal with that ... call the lawyers!

    The battle royale commenced. Neera got off her Time Stop ... which may not necessarily have been the best move. Apparently, demons, angels and Slayer Irenicus are immune to Time Stop; the battle raged on while of our group, only Neera was able to act. Ooops. Luckily Slayer Irenicus concentrated on trying to whack MC, who had put up his protection from damage ability and gone berserk when the fracas began. Neera did her best to make Irenicus more vulnerable, but everyone was relieved when the flow of Time resumed.

    Somewhere along the line, Irenicus, possibly sensing disaster, vanished. Without him, his pet demons were easily defeated, and our angelic allies poofed at around the same time. The door of the Abyss was open. But hey, could we leave Irenicus behind with the doorway open, so he could follow us? Not likely! MC didn't want to have to go through all this nonsense a third time. Keldorn used his True Sight and the group went scouring the cavern. We found Irenicus, still in Slayer form, cowering way off to the South. A few rounds later, he was heading downward to his final resting place in Hell. Apparently, where we were was just the vestibule; further down was the low rent district. That was really the Pits.

    Well, somehow the group was transported back to Salt-cellar, where Princess Ellie-Mae congratulated us, praised us, and suggested that we were probably eager to continue our adventures. I.E. "The trouble is over, thanks for the assist, now beat it." Once again, MC's opinion of elves was confirmed.

    And so, bidding a fond farewell to the Treetop City, and cursing the travel agency that sold them the tickets to get there, the stalwart group forged on. And were promptly teleported to a totally unfamiliar location. Arg! Now what? Don't we rate a vacation?
  • ArunsunArunsun Member Posts: 1,592
    I will take my chance for your quote: The incredible Hulk?
  • FrdNwsmFrdNwsm Member Posts: 1,069
    edited June 2015
    Heeeh! Yes, the old TV show starring Bill Bixby and Lou Ferrigno as Bruce Banner and his green alter ego.

    Now, where is the title of the discussion itself derived from?
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