To any really young adventurers who happen to find their way here, let me make it perfectly clear that what I'm talking about in the second line of the following limerick is this character's exceptional strength (19, wow!), nothing else. Honestly. Horse = strength, it's just a metaphor. If you wonder what a metaphor is, well, simply put, it's when you use a word or expression but it actually means something else. Like when your mum or dad tells you "I love you".
That Dorn, he had manners quite coarse, But was truly equipped like a horse. Said: 'I don't dual wield, And forget sword and shield - Two-handed is a matter of course.'
Softly leaving her lover to snore a young trollop went out to explore. While in shadows some gas was compelled not to pass from her tail by the plug placed before.
Skie
Though attracted to mandolin strumming Skie discovered new methods of slumming. Werewolves are stronger, Vampires last longer and Xzart lyrics aren't quit as mind-numbing.
Some threads here with fan art get showered With views, but *our* views have not towered. Well, I *do* have to say, From the heart, if I may, That pictures are *so* overpowered!
Awaking alone one fine morn to a beast full of hunger and scorn, a dexterous elf faced the wyvern himself anxious to toot his own horn.
Eldoth
A lady told Eldoth to give her what arrows he had to deliver. When presented, she laughed at the pitiful shafts and asked, "How will this fill up my quiver?"
Eldoth shook with laughter and glee when he leaned over to whisper to Skie, then: "Why are Safana's lips like Balduran's ship?" "They're both full to the brim with dead sea men"
Though Kivan had avenged all his kin Tazok's death left him hollow within So each time he slays him he makes sure to raise him again and again and again.
Quayle
Quayle needed something to enhance so a party might give him a chance He intoned, "Watch my cane grow as big as my brain." but 'twas more like a twig than a lance.
Minsc
A berserker with cognitive glitches had pledged to protect his sandwiches. Enraged finding crumbs, His space hamster chum had to hide in unsavory niches.
A slave slowly gathered his spit and landed a critical hit. The drow fell on his tail near a rack full of flails and ripped open a second black pit.
Rasaad
The monk wasn't much of a brute and he couldn't put on metal suits. Not long after a brawl friends could only recall the gold that they got for his boots.
Neera
Neera's new lover learned how to brave itches and plummeting cows. When the wild wizard surged from his backpack emerged a helmet to cover his brow.
Dorn
In the front with his stout orcish spear the blackguard could long persevere. But while in the fray he could go either way and deftly attack from the rear.
Oh Im my dear little sis, Could maybe you do more with that bow than miss? Theres a wolf on his way, And i fear if we stay, We will only see level 2 in the abyss!
Neera
My white haired Neera dare i ask a favour, It's to prevent something worse from growing graver, Could pehaps with your next uttered spell, Warn us first with maybe a shout or a bell? Because your causing our morale to waver!
Dorn
Dorn cease your endless prattle! I'm sick of hearing your words of doing evil and seeking battle, Your romance is bland and dull, and your conversation is at its best droll! So stick to the back and behave like the rest of the cattle!
Raasad
Monk you talk a big game, And trully it is a shame, I wondered your skills, And looked forward to the thrills, But your fighting skills are boring and lame.
Minsc
Minsc my friend stop your shouting, Your in an inn with no evil that needs routing, put your hamster away, And let it rest for just one day, If not go out and do some scouting!
Boo
Boo your little pest, Keep out of my rutsack you unwelcome guest, Already many a biscuit you have stolen, Which is why your stomach is so swollen, Next time i will lay you to your eternal rest.
Edwin
Wizard in red, How can you have such a large head? Your magic is pretty strong this true, But your health is little better than Boo, So Insult me again and see how long until your dead.
There once was a Rashemi ranger Who solicited help from a stranger His adventurer's pitch Was to save a young witch From all manner of doggy-faced danger
Sarevok
A young orphan boy, all alone Found foster with the Iron Throne Did in dear old dad In his quest to be god Then his bro killed him deader than stone. OR Young Sarevok, brimming with fervour Sought to become the new lord of murder Though discretion he preached Overstretched his own reach And then CHARNAME bade he go no further
Bodhi tried to break free of her curse By consorting with vampire curs But she died rather grimly At the hands of young Immy For the soul that was rightfully hers
Elminster was oftentimes seen To be from an old book by Tolkien When asked by some goon If he'd heard of Mount Doom He replied, "I don't know what you mean."
Haer'Dalis was wild and free and would rush into melee with glee But his CON was that which was reserved for a gnat So he died, which increased entropy.
Comments
That Dorn, he had manners quite coarse,
But was truly equipped like a horse.
Said: 'I don't dual wield,
And forget sword and shield -
Two-handed is a matter of course.'
Softly leaving her lover to snore
a young trollop went out to explore.
While in shadows some gas
was compelled not to pass
from her tail by the plug placed before.
Skie
Though attracted to mandolin strumming
Skie discovered new methods of slumming.
Werewolves are stronger,
Vampires last longer
and Xzart lyrics aren't quit as mind-numbing.
We are stuck in a lovers' impasse.
There is no magic surge
To ease this wild urge -
We must wait for the sequel, alas!
Some threads here with fan art get showered
With views, but *our* views have not towered.
Well, I *do* have to say,
From the heart, if I may,
That pictures are *so* overpowered!
A moonblade wedged in the stone
Retrieveable by one elf alone
Defying all rationale
He diminished morale
Of the party and those unbeknown
Awaking alone one fine morn
to a beast full of hunger and scorn,
a dexterous elf
faced the wyvern himself
anxious to toot his own horn.
Eldoth
A lady told Eldoth to give her
what arrows he had to deliver.
When presented, she laughed
at the pitiful shafts
and asked, "How will this fill up my quiver?"
(Old player:) I sometimes ponder / How best to explain THAC0. / It is not easy.
(Young player:) THAC0, a strange word; / It sounds like Mexican food. / I like hamburgers.
(Old player:) Your dice have a task: / Roll to hit armour class nil. / That, you see, is THAC0.
(Young player:) Armour class zero, / That would mean no armour class? / How does this make sense?
(Old player:) See, with armour class / The less you have, the better. / Gygax made it so.
(Young player:) If less is better / When we're talking armour class - / Is nakedness best?
(Old player:) Forget armour class, / Just sit down and play the game. / It's better that way.
he leaned over to whisper to Skie, then:
"Why are Safana's lips
like Balduran's ship?"
"They're both full to the brim with dead sea men"
Though Kivan had avenged all his kin
Tazok's death left him hollow within
So each time he slays him
he makes sure to raise him
again and again and again.
Quayle
Quayle needed something to enhance
so a party might give him a chance
He intoned, "Watch my cane
grow as big as my brain."
but 'twas more like a twig than a lance.
Minsc
A berserker with cognitive glitches
had pledged to protect his sandwiches.
Enraged finding crumbs,
His space hamster chum
had to hide in unsavory niches.
A slave slowly gathered his spit
and landed a critical hit.
The drow fell on his tail
near a rack full of flails
and ripped open a second black pit.
Rasaad
The monk wasn't much of a brute
and he couldn't put on metal suits.
Not long after a brawl
friends could only recall
the gold that they got for his boots.
Neera
Neera's new lover learned how
to brave itches and plummeting cows.
When the wild wizard surged
from his backpack emerged
a helmet to cover his brow.
Dorn
In the front with his stout orcish spear
the blackguard could long persevere.
But while in the fray
he could go either way
and deftly attack from the rear.
Oh Im my dear little sis,
Could maybe you do more with that bow than miss?
Theres a wolf on his way,
And i fear if we stay,
We will only see level 2 in the abyss!
Neera
My white haired Neera dare i ask a favour,
It's to prevent something worse from growing graver,
Could pehaps with your next uttered spell,
Warn us first with maybe a shout or a bell?
Because your causing our morale to waver!
Dorn
Dorn cease your endless prattle!
I'm sick of hearing your words of doing evil and seeking battle,
Your romance is bland and dull,
and your conversation is at its best droll!
So stick to the back and behave like the rest of the cattle!
Raasad
Monk you talk a big game,
And trully it is a shame,
I wondered your skills,
And looked forward to the thrills,
But your fighting skills are boring and lame.
Minsc
Minsc my friend stop your shouting,
Your in an inn with no evil that needs routing,
put your hamster away,
And let it rest for just one day,
If not go out and do some scouting!
Boo
Boo your little pest,
Keep out of my rutsack you unwelcome guest,
Already many a biscuit you have stolen,
Which is why your stomach is so swollen,
Next time i will lay you to your eternal rest.
Edwin
Wizard in red,
How can you have such a large head?
Your magic is pretty strong this true,
But your health is little better than Boo,
So Insult me again and see how long until your dead.
There once was a Rashemi ranger
Who solicited help from a stranger
His adventurer's pitch
Was to save a young witch
From all manner of doggy-faced danger
Sarevok
A young orphan boy, all alone
Found foster with the Iron Throne
Did in dear old dad
In his quest to be god
Then his bro killed him deader than stone.
OR
Young Sarevok, brimming with fervour
Sought to become the new lord of murder
Though discretion he preached
Overstretched his own reach
And then CHARNAME bade he go no further
Bodhi tried to break free of her curse
By consorting with vampire curs
But she died rather grimly
At the hands of young Immy
For the soul that was rightfully hers
To be from an old book by Tolkien
When asked by some goon
If he'd heard of Mount Doom
He replied, "I don't know what you mean."
and would rush into melee with glee
But his CON was that
which was reserved for a gnat
So he died, which increased entropy.