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Why do warriors get eaten by monsters so often?


...Because they have such good tac0s!
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  • DelvarianDelvarian Member Posts: 1,232
    You know what they say; their is nothing like a good joke, and these are nothing like a good joke.
  • EudaemoniumEudaemonium Member Posts: 3,199
    I have to confess, I did chuckle at the 'full plate and packing steal'. Sue me.
  • GallowglassGallowglass Member Posts: 3,356
    I'll get my hat ...
  • DetroitRedWings25DetroitRedWings25 Member Posts: 244
    What did the Guard say to the protagonist? A: I used to be an adventurer like you, then i took an arrow to the knee.
  • SchneidendSchneidend Member Posts: 3,190
    @DetroitRedWings25
    ...Get out.
  • KilivitzKilivitz Member Posts: 1,459
    I have a one-word D&D joke:

    Owlbear.
  • Aasimar069Aasimar069 Member Posts: 803
    edited February 2013
    "Wizard Slayer"

    It speaks for itself.
  • KamigoroshiKamigoroshi Member Posts: 5,870

    Why do warriors get eaten by monsters so often?


    ...Because they have such good tac0s!

    Only the health consciousness monster brats who always gobble up their iron rich warriors will later become epic encounters.
  • SchneidendSchneidend Member Posts: 3,190
    Kilivitz said:

    I have a one-word D&D joke:

    Owlbear.

    Heeeeyyy...The owlbear is one of my favorite creatures!
  • the_spyderthe_spyder Member Posts: 5,018
    edited February 2013
    Hi. My name is Larry. And this is my Brother Darryl and my other brother Darryl.

    Knock, Knock

    Who's there

    Boo

    Boo who?

    A drow, a necromancer, an insane dwarf and the illegitimate son of a Dead god walk into a bar. Nah, you probably know how that one comes out.
    Post edited by the_spyder on
  • lunarhalolunarhalo Member Posts: 71
    Why did Sarevok choose Tazok to lead the bandits?

    He was an ogre-achiever
  • Stargazer5781Stargazer5781 Member Posts: 183
    Jesus saves. Everyone else takes full damage.
  • Stargazer5781Stargazer5781 Member Posts: 183
    What do you call a gnome that's not an illusionist?

    Not used.
  • toanwrathtoanwrath Member Posts: 621
    Kilivitz said:

    I have a one-word D&D joke:

    Owlbear.

    Owlbearto Owlvarez is a gnome fighter illusionist who fights with axes that polymorphs into owlbears. Gnome you can't axe his stats, owl bet you couldn't bear to hear them.
  • toanwrathtoanwrath Member Posts: 621
    lunarhalo said:

    Why did Sarevok choose Tazok to lead the bandits?

    He was an ogre-achiever
    Stealing this one :-)
  • SchneidendSchneidend Member Posts: 3,190

    Once had a conversation with someone ranting about how overpowered clerics were in 3.5 He claimed that a party of clerics could outperform any other party in every way through their buffs and spells.

    I said I knew exactly how I'd overpower a party of clerics. "You arrive at the fortress. The door is locked."

    Depends on their level. They could have spells to blast their way in. I believe there's a spell that only damages objects and constructs at 1st or 2nd spell level. Depending on their domains, they may have the Knock spell or Pick Lock/Thievery as a class skill.
  • lunarhalolunarhalo Member Posts: 71
    Why did Xzar go to the hypnotist?

    to get rid of a bad hobbit
  • SchneidendSchneidend Member Posts: 3,190
    toanwrath said:



    Owlbearto Owlvarez is a gnome fighter illusionist who fights with axes that polymorphs into owlbears. Gnome you can't axe his stats, owl bet you couldn't bear to hear them.

    I...I...think we have a winner. I just- *starts a slow clap*
  • DelvarianDelvarian Member Posts: 1,232
    This topic is like a train wreck, I can't look away lol
  • LemernisLemernis Member, Moderator Posts: 4,318
    Conan O'Brien had a bit with the sock puppet dog character interviewing folks at some sort of fantasy themed convention and it was actually pretty funny.
  • DelvarianDelvarian Member Posts: 1,232
    That would be Triumph the insult comic dog, and he is hilarious.

    As he would say; "This is a very good thread.........for me to poop on!"
  • PhyraxPhyrax Member Posts: 198
    edited February 2013
    certus said:

    Q: How many druids does it take to change a lightbulb?
    A: One, as longs as hes a werebear

    Those who understand this joke have been reading these fora to too long!
    Post edited by Phyrax on
  • RhymeRhyme Member Posts: 190
    Phyrax said:

    certus said:

    Q: How many druids does it take to change a lightbulb?
    A: One, as longs as hes a werebear

    Those who understand this joke have been reading this forum to too long!
    I looked it up a couple days ago, and my enjoyment of these forums has skyrocketed since then.
  • the_spyderthe_spyder Member Posts: 5,018
    Phyrax said:

    certus said:

    Q: How many druids does it take to change a lightbulb?
    A: One, as longs as hes a werebear

    Those who understand this joke have been reading these fora to too long!
    Yeah, i personally wish I could have a werebear claw my eyes out in stead of understanding it. But there you go.

    Joke:

    Bhaal saves. In case he is hungry later. (yeah, an old Cthulu joke, but it still works).

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