Favorite Dialogue Choices

Thermos

So, I just killed a man because "Sorry, Aldeth, but we're siding with the druids. They have this great Aloe-Vera balm they are giving away samples of, and my armor has been chafing a bit, ya know?" With such a hilarious dialogue option, how can you NOT choose it? What other amazing dialogue choices are there?

The_New_Romance

Of course, the classic Portalbendarwinden rant, with Elminster AND his hat.

Darrylson

"No we're not mercenaries, we just carry around weapons and kill things for the joy of the experience" when Coran's ex tries to hire you to save her child is one of my favorites.

KidCarnival

I like the "we're searching for the holy groundhog" option in Shandalar's prison.

DrHappyAngry

There's this fantastic NWN2 mod called Path of Evil that has some of the best responses out of any game I've ever played. You come across adventurers hunting you and there's some awesome insults. "Why is it all Paladins carry great swords, do you think they're compensating for something?" Another of my favorites was a straight up Clockwork Orange reference when busting into a house "We're here for a little of the old ultra-violence."

From BG, I have to admit that I love the response you can give Taris in Dorn's quest line when you're telling her husband's dead. It was something like "He literally leapt out of his skeleton and was like boom, bam pow! I'd love to paint you a picture of it but there isn't enough red in all the realms!"

Jalily

Spoilers for Rasaad's quest:

KingGhidorah

Iron throne guard: "you wouldn't kill a man with a wife and 10 children would you?"
Charname: "No way. You got a fate far worse then death already"

Xavaine

The_New_Romance said:

Of course, the classic Portalbendarwinden rant, with Elminster AND his hat.

Was going to say this too, classic.

SCARY_WIZARD

Jalily said:

Spoilers for Rasaad's quest:

;__;

Shutting Meilum down during his posturing.

"Drr hrr hrr I am the best swordsman ever!"
"lol nice gloves"

Chow

The one in the original post actually irks me for a bit. I mean, both sides seem to have some reasonable enough points at the start, but the final options for what you can say are A) siding with one side for no good reason, even if there were one, and making a joke about it, and trying to reason with them and stop them from needlessly murdering a guy. I'm basically railroaded into taking the guy's side against the druids, even though I myself personally feel like I might want to side with them instead. So I think it's overall kind of dumb.

Of the actual favorite choices, I'll have to bring up the one already mentioned regarding Elminster and his hat, but the one I think I like the best is "You know what I like to say? Always kill the mouthy one."

daven

Can't remember it exactly but in the Iron Throne compound. That guard comes up to you, 'Where are you lot going?!' reply.. 'Upstairs, where are YOU going?!'

OneAngryMushroom

We're a herd of rampaging tarrasques. KRIE! KRIE! I forget where you get this line.
We come from a land of Bald Blubbering Bugbears and where naked Nymphs grant your every wish. He he (to the Baldur's Gate gatekeeper)
You know what I always say? "Always kill the mouthy one", that's what I always say. (The assassins outside of the Cloakwood mine)
Why are you so fat? (the spider witch in the Cloakwood)
And the sarcastic response for the mages in the upstairs of the Sorcerous Sundries

KidCarnival

Chow said:

The one in the original post actually irks me for a bit. I mean, both sides seem to have some reasonable enough points at the start, but the final options for what you can say are A) siding with one side for no good reason, even if there were one, and making a joke about it, and trying to reason with them and stop them from needlessly murdering a guy. I'm basically railroaded into taking the guy's side against the druids, even though I myself personally feel like I might want to side with them instead. So I think it's overall kind of dumb.

Yeah, it feels like there is an option missing. With a druid or ranger in the party, I'd probably still try to reason (option 2) first, but if the druids don't back off, side with them. As it is, you either take a side right away or you try to talk and immediately get to fight without reconsidering.

shawne

"OK, I've just about had my FILL of riddle-asking, quest-assigning, insult-throwing, pun-hurling, hostage-taking, iron-mongering, smart-arsed fools, freaks, and felons that continually test my will, mettle, strength, intelligence, and most of all, patience! If you've got a straight answer ANYWHERE in that bent little head of yours, I want to hear it pretty damn quick or I'm going to take a large blunt object roughly the size of Elminster AND his hat, and stuff it lengthwise into a crevice of your being so seldom seen that even the denizens of the nine hells themselves wouldn't touch it with a twenty-foot rusty halberd! Have I MADE myself perfectly CLEAR?!"

the_spyder

"Hi, my name is Larry. This is my Brother Darryl and this is my other brother Darryl."

Also, the entire conversation tree surrounding melicamp.

Alexisisinneed

I always like the line in BG2 after you rescue Aerie's uncle
"Shut up, gnome you'll be dead soon."

lunar

I love the guard in Cloakwood mines that comes and casually asks you for advice about his late-night life with his wife. :-D When I advice him to go out for fresh air to avoid the fumes down there, and he abruptly comes to his senses and attacks. I wish he listened to my advice, though. Ah well, I guess his wife will have to find a better man.

Erg

The image below contains spoilers, so do not watch if you're on Chapter 5 or earlier in your first playthrough.

Erg

Nikolai: Greetings! I can tell by the way you look about you that you are new to the city. For a mere 15 pieces of gold, I can tell you of the glorious history that once coursed through the weighted veins of this metropolis.

CHARNAME: Please do. Such a tale would be well worth the price of admission.

Nikolai: Ah, yes, the city as we know it today falls in the shape of a plump and crescent moon. Its many wharves and docks jut out along its western point where the River Chionthar flows into the starry Sea of Swords. A bridge from this western shore links the mainland with a rocky islet on which perches the old, massive Seatower of Balduran. It is there that the true tale begins. Do you wish me to continue?

CHARNAME: Yes, please.

Nikolai: Balduran was a well-known and good-natured pirate who sailed the Sea of Swords in times gone by. He built the Seatower that bears his name to guide him to his home port and provide warning of invasion to his kin and clan that made their home along the northern riverbank. In time, a vibrant group of traders and fellow sea captains gathered there and built the city's inner wall to protect their wares and belongings from the ever-present danger of rival pirates or orcish raids... You look distracted. Do you still wish me to continue?

CHARNAME: Certainly! I wouldn't have it any other way.

Nikolai: Balduran was away from port during the time in which the decision to build the wall was made and, when he returned, he learned that many of his kin and clan now lay outside the new wall and vulnerable to any attack made upon the settlement! As the orcs advanced upon the city in the early summer, it erupted into a state of civil chaos. It was at this point that Balduran's sails were spotted upon the horizon, returning home to port... Ahem, are you still with me?

CHARNAME: Yes I am, right at your side, wide awake, sir!

Nikolai: In a rage, Balduran slew the entire Council of captains and merchants for such arrogance and selfishness. He spared only the four who had spoken out against the Council's decision. Together, they ordered the immediate construction of the city's outer wall, and bridge gate from which Baldur's Gate gets its name. Facing a united city and a stout defense, the orcs were defeated and, for their valor, Balduran appointed the four captains as Dukes of the city... Well, that's Baldur's Gate in a nutshell. I'm quite impressed with your perseverance.

CHARNAME: Tell me more! I want to know everything about this city!

Nikolai: Well, there's really not that much more to tell... Balduran eventually died, apparently lost at sea, and the four Dukes passed on their titles in a hereditary fashion for many years. Now, of course, Dukes are elected to office, although they keep the title until their death. They have grown softer and more tolerant over the years, however, and I think many people would like to see someone with a more extravagant, forceful approach ascend to the position. But that is the future, not the past, and who knows what it shall hold.

CHARNAME: Moooorrre! Must tell me mooorrrrrrre! I want to know eeeeverythingggg! Mwah hah hah haaaa...

Nikolai (running away): Okay, you are getting really creepy... Get away from me! Shoo!

redline

Chow said:

Of the actual favorite choices, I'll have to bring up the one already mentioned regarding Elminster and his hat, but the one I think I like the best is "You know what I like to say? Always kill the mouthy one."

This, and the subsequent response, are hands down my favorite back-and-forth that we get with an enemy, possibly in the whole series.

"HAW! A good saying! I will use your head for a puppet and make it say it over and over while we drink large amounts of mead! Life is pretty good, you know?"