hilarious tabletop memories

LadyEibhilinRhett

Everyone has them.
That one time someone in the party did something stupid, or the DM got fed up, or someone came up with a totally off-beat idea or even just decided to start acting up....and hilarity ensued.
This is a thread to post these stories in.
Not limited to D&D. Any tabletop game.

Here. Um. I can start. In the first D&D game I ever played, I played as a male tiefling mage. About half the party did not trust my character because of his demonic heritage. One character was especially vocal about it. ((His player was too, and said some truly ridiculous things. Like the one time I had to get up to go to the restroom, he told me "No, you can't do that, it's out of character, tieflings don't go to the bathroom," and I was like wtf are you even talking about)) Anyways, later on, said character died, and his player immediately announced that the character was going to come back as a ghost to haunt us. He did this by getting up and walking around the table making funny noises, sometimes whispering ridiculous things into party members' ears. He tried to lead us into traps or convince us to make ridiculous decisions on several occasions. Also, occasionally he would tap the paladin's player on the shoulder, point at me, and then shout, "IN THE NAME OF HEIRONEOUS, SMITE THE INFIDEL." He spent the rest of the entire game on his feet doing this kind of shit.
...The DM went along with this and told us all that we were hearing strange voices in our heads and we may or may not be going crazy.

Night_Watch

first D&D game i played we were walking around in a desert and our wizard was trying to pick at some stone or plate or some such with his dagger. we figured out it was bronze. i figured something was up but since my character was a half-orc barbarian with single digit INT and CHA but a decent WIS i said something along the lines off, "me don't fink dat's a good idea" then we found out it was a bronze scale of a dragon. turns out the dragon was still attached. suffice to say after some serious begging and pleading it was nice enough to not turn us into shish-kabobs and instead sent us on some quest. i think the wizard croaked into the single digit negatives but our cleric was able to heal him up. good times.

rexreg

i played a character in a military campaign, a Cleric named Titus...his rank in the army was Major (Major Titus)...CG was his alignment (in the military & having a problem w/ authority, what was i thinking)...
i took a Flaw making it such that every time he cast a spell, i had to roll a d20; a 1 resulted in not the spell he wanted, but a roll on the wild-surge table...
anyway, Major Titus & his crew were captured & they became POW's...we gave our parole & it was accepted; Titus had no particular hatred of our captors, so when our captor's commander was later injured he offered to heal him...& rolled a 1...the result on the wild surge table was "target is Blinded"...chaos ensued...
through fast-talking & submission to a Know Alignment spell, it was determined a mistake had been made & no real trouble resulted; Major Titus convinced our captor to let him again attempt to Heal his wounds...the commander reluctantly agreed...another 1 resulted in a Fireball centered on the spell's target...
our parole was immediately revoked & suddenly our up-until-now-gentlemanly captors were not quite so gentlemanly...

deltago

One time I was forced to play a mage because no one else in my party would play a mage. When I rolled for stats I rolled a 5 for CON. This made me ecstatic as I knew I would die and be able to reroll another character. The DM had other ideas. Everytime my character died, he found a way to revive him.

This drove me crazy, so in a way, it made my character drop from a healthy CG to a less than stellar CN. He started feeling like he had a higher purpose and he was immortal until he fulfilled that purpose. What that purpose was, the DM wouldn't tell me, however, my character felt that his companions were letting him down in battles (you know not being proper meat shields and protecting the caster) so the next random encounter, I made him scream "I AM DEATH REBORN, AND YOU ARE ALL MY CHILDREN" started flinging spells at everyone till either the encounter or I, killed everyone. My character then wandered that dungeon crawl fearlessly and died to some trap.

I finally got to reroll a character.

Purudaya

I once DM'd a game with an AD&D based custom ruleset. One of the players was an inordinately reckless wild mage for whom I had created a vast wild-surge table beyond the basic "x spell goes off instead" or "sex change" results. This thing used multiple D100 rolls to achieve true randomness and had the potential to trigger some extremely unlikely but unique consequences, one of which included cursing the entire party to be able to communicate only in rhyme for x in-game hours.

This result was triggered in the middle of the epic resolution of the central campaign. Watching the players roleplay in ABAB rhyme scheme while shouting orders, responding to the deaths of fallen comrades, and taunting the main villain was both epic and hilarious.

The high INT, low CHA mage upon causing the surge: "What is this nonsense, I can't be rhyming! I don't have the poise, I don't have the timing!"

Good times