The Dead Three and Me
Anduin
Member Posts: 5,745
Back in the day when you could get half a roast pig with a free tankard of ale at your local Weatherproof Inn, all for a copper piece... I was part of the adventuring troop, 'The Dark Four'.
Ahhh... I remember it like it was yesterday... We were young and rebelling against authority. We stayed in bed all day, and stayed up all night. We all wore hoods. At the time I thought we did it because it made us mysterious and edgy... But really it was because we all had bad acne due to poor hygiene. The truths a git... Anyway... Our group included Bane, Bhaal, Myrkul and me, Anduin.
Bane was our muscle. He was a bit dopey, to tell you the truth. No brain Bane we called him. Don't get me wrong, he was good in a fight, but his one brain cell was faulty. Once I got him to carry all my equipment by saying I was responsible for carrying the groups air supply, and that my bag had to be fully loaded with air! Also, Bhaal liked to trick him into eating different meat. 'Bane' Bhaal would witter 'Bane, did you know that Gnoll is a delicacy in far off Kara-Tur?' Then off Bane would go eating Gnoll until he was sick. Them were the days!
Bhaal was our lock pick. His real name was Karl, but that's neither here or there. The reason we started calling him Bhaal was due to the sound he made after two pints. I have never met anyone below the age of four who could not hold their drink WORSE than Bhaal. At the tavern, sitting nicely ensconced in the corner looking shady and then 'BHAAAAAL' bright red vomit all over the table. Bhaal got clever enough to regurgitate nearly exactly a pint, back into his pint glass each time he had to... err... Bhaal. We gave it to Bane, I swear he liked it... Where was I... Yes, for a measly thief, Bhaal was so UP HIMSELF. I'm so good at this, I'm the best at that, Watch me twirl my bone dagger, look at me I'm Bhaal. When It came to a fight. NOWHERE TO BE SEEN! Ran away and hid like a baby. Afterwards he would say things like 'Did you see me totally backstab that mage? I chunked him into little pieces so Bane could eat him' Absolute rubbish! He was just the lock pick and that's why we put up with him.
Uncle Myrkul was a Necromancer. He could animate the dead. Without giving away too many trade secrets, I can reveal it was all done with wire coat hangers. We would have a great time digging up somebodies Gran and then getting the deceased to pop into the local hostelry and ask for a quick ale and a kiss!
Then there was I. Anduin the Almighty! I was the real brains of the operation. Without me they would just end up fighting and bickering. I also once talked to a girl, so the other guys really looked up to me.
Now one day Uncle Myrkul had this idea to go visit a god called Jergal and ask for some of his powers. Bane was hungry and was wondering what gods taste like and Bhaal was all up for pickpocketing a gods wallet. Me. I was like WHOA! Nurgle! Is that not a god of disease from the Games Workshop Franchise? And Uncle Myrkul was going nah, Jergal is a god of death, bit depressed after losing all his wealth to a knucklebone gambling habit... And I was like. HOLD ON! Jergal is a bit like Nurgle! I don't want to catch the clap and die with my testicles falling out the bag! Bhaal called me a wuss and Bane wanted to know what testicles tasted like. We parted company there and then. Uncle Myrkul said he couldn't guarantee that his information source was 100% legit and understood why I was reluctant. He said he would cut me some slack if we ever met again.
You know the rest. The Dark Three became The Dead Three.
I started Gargoyles 4U. We are still trading strong today, the business now being nearly 2000 years old... You see... I did meet Uncle Myrkul again... and he gave me... A LOT OF SLACK!!!!
Ahhh... I remember it like it was yesterday... We were young and rebelling against authority. We stayed in bed all day, and stayed up all night. We all wore hoods. At the time I thought we did it because it made us mysterious and edgy... But really it was because we all had bad acne due to poor hygiene. The truths a git... Anyway... Our group included Bane, Bhaal, Myrkul and me, Anduin.
Bane was our muscle. He was a bit dopey, to tell you the truth. No brain Bane we called him. Don't get me wrong, he was good in a fight, but his one brain cell was faulty. Once I got him to carry all my equipment by saying I was responsible for carrying the groups air supply, and that my bag had to be fully loaded with air! Also, Bhaal liked to trick him into eating different meat. 'Bane' Bhaal would witter 'Bane, did you know that Gnoll is a delicacy in far off Kara-Tur?' Then off Bane would go eating Gnoll until he was sick. Them were the days!
Bhaal was our lock pick. His real name was Karl, but that's neither here or there. The reason we started calling him Bhaal was due to the sound he made after two pints. I have never met anyone below the age of four who could not hold their drink WORSE than Bhaal. At the tavern, sitting nicely ensconced in the corner looking shady and then 'BHAAAAAL' bright red vomit all over the table. Bhaal got clever enough to regurgitate nearly exactly a pint, back into his pint glass each time he had to... err... Bhaal. We gave it to Bane, I swear he liked it... Where was I... Yes, for a measly thief, Bhaal was so UP HIMSELF. I'm so good at this, I'm the best at that, Watch me twirl my bone dagger, look at me I'm Bhaal. When It came to a fight. NOWHERE TO BE SEEN! Ran away and hid like a baby. Afterwards he would say things like 'Did you see me totally backstab that mage? I chunked him into little pieces so Bane could eat him' Absolute rubbish! He was just the lock pick and that's why we put up with him.
Uncle Myrkul was a Necromancer. He could animate the dead. Without giving away too many trade secrets, I can reveal it was all done with wire coat hangers. We would have a great time digging up somebodies Gran and then getting the deceased to pop into the local hostelry and ask for a quick ale and a kiss!
Then there was I. Anduin the Almighty! I was the real brains of the operation. Without me they would just end up fighting and bickering. I also once talked to a girl, so the other guys really looked up to me.
Now one day Uncle Myrkul had this idea to go visit a god called Jergal and ask for some of his powers. Bane was hungry and was wondering what gods taste like and Bhaal was all up for pickpocketing a gods wallet. Me. I was like WHOA! Nurgle! Is that not a god of disease from the Games Workshop Franchise? And Uncle Myrkul was going nah, Jergal is a god of death, bit depressed after losing all his wealth to a knucklebone gambling habit... And I was like. HOLD ON! Jergal is a bit like Nurgle! I don't want to catch the clap and die with my testicles falling out the bag! Bhaal called me a wuss and Bane wanted to know what testicles tasted like. We parted company there and then. Uncle Myrkul said he couldn't guarantee that his information source was 100% legit and understood why I was reluctant. He said he would cut me some slack if we ever met again.
You know the rest. The Dark Three became The Dead Three.
I started Gargoyles 4U. We are still trading strong today, the business now being nearly 2000 years old... You see... I did meet Uncle Myrkul again... and he gave me... A LOT OF SLACK!!!!
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Comments
Inspired by @EntropyXII and his thread that can be found here. http://forum.baldursgate.com/discussion/18210/the-dark-three-the-dead-three
Whaddaya thinK?
I'm here for questioning. If you want to know what Bane called his pet rubber duck... Ask away!
I'm here all week...
@Lunar Bane was not deathly afraid of Birthday cakes... He just didn't like eating the candles. I tried to get him to blow them out first but he was always one to eat first and think later...
I dibsy first to be your version of Imoen tho...
Heya! It's me Anduin!
Bhaal was an avid coin collector. He would go to great lengths to find those rare old coins at the bottom of a dragons horde... He didn't mind collecting new common coins either from the local temple, come to think of it...
Bane loved the boy bard group, Take That. He cried when Robber left the group. I tried to get him into some real music. Bardplay, Bards 'n' Roses, Queen, The Bardness, Fat Boy Bard, Bard Sabbath and Barry Bard. But they didn't even register. I even took him to a Bardonna concert. Couldn't even look at the cones on her helmet. He has a signed picture of Robber Billiams that he carries with him everywhere...
Uncle Myrkul is a world champion knitter. He can loop one, pearl one with the best. He once knitted a jumper for a cloud giant in less than 2 hours!
Hope that fills a little bit more background for you, Dead Three fans! (D3 4 eva!)