Have you ever wondered...
Pantalion
Member Posts: 2,137
Why doesn't Minsc get extra HP from having Boo?
Who buried that Ankheg Plate in Nashkel?
Was it Noober?
How about now?
Why are the Amnian soldiers along the contested border with Baldur's Gate so poorly trained compared to standard city watchmen in Trademeet and Athkatla?
Where did all the characters who didn't follow you to Amn get to?
If Ankhegs are breeding out of control, why are their shells still so valuable?
What colour is an invisible stalker?
Why does armour never break during the iron crisis?
Why does the Lawful Neutral mage has the best familiar for breaking the law?
Why do so many mages betray you the moment you turn in quests with them?
Who was the guy who threw +2 Sling Bullets at Neeber?
How did he not kill Neeber with five +2 Sling Bullets?
Why do the Shadow Thieves need twenty-thousand gold when they earn thousands of gold every week from their guildhouses?
Why do the Cowled Wizards never, ever try to arrest you, even if you've just gated in a Balor and exterminated fifty people in Waukeen's Promenade? And why did it take so long for the Cowled Wizards to show up in the first place?
If all of your gear is sold off in BG2, who gets the Girdle of Sex Change?
Who buried that Ankheg Plate in Nashkel?
Was it Noober?
How about now?
Why are the Amnian soldiers along the contested border with Baldur's Gate so poorly trained compared to standard city watchmen in Trademeet and Athkatla?
Where did all the characters who didn't follow you to Amn get to?
If Ankhegs are breeding out of control, why are their shells still so valuable?
What colour is an invisible stalker?
Why does armour never break during the iron crisis?
Why does the Lawful Neutral mage has the best familiar for breaking the law?
Why do so many mages betray you the moment you turn in quests with them?
Who was the guy who threw +2 Sling Bullets at Neeber?
How did he not kill Neeber with five +2 Sling Bullets?
Why do the Shadow Thieves need twenty-thousand gold when they earn thousands of gold every week from their guildhouses?
Why do the Cowled Wizards never, ever try to arrest you, even if you've just gated in a Balor and exterminated fifty people in Waukeen's Promenade? And why did it take so long for the Cowled Wizards to show up in the first place?
If all of your gear is sold off in BG2, who gets the Girdle of Sex Change?
17
Comments
5. They felt like making the city guards in Baldur's Gate 2 be overpowered and god-like in comparison to BG. They sort of went backwards.
6. Off adventuring to the Vaasan Gate to never be seen again.
7. Well, can you kill an ankheg with a pitchfork?
8. Pink with yellow stripes and orange polka dots.
9. It's wibbley wobbly ruley wuley stuff.
11. Better to have no witnesses to their misdeeds no?
12. You... from the future, only back in time.
13. You are not proficient with slings 50 years from now.
14. Why should we pay a penny towards your need to get a ship to go to an island? No. We will instead make you pay every dime and double it to squeeze the money out of you for even bothering to charter a ship.
15. Who wants to fight a Balor? The Cowled Wizards would let the Balor do it's thing and then come and kill the summoner. Cool story bro.
16. You really do not know? Irenicus dispelled it and attached it to Imoen.
Why does Elminster waste so much time tatting around bothering a single Bhaalspawn?
Why does nobody ever use any of the tomes you find in their possession?
What disease do all those gibberlings around Candlekeep have?
2. Because he has nothing better to do with his immortality.
3. They are illiterate or do not know what they are!
4. A very nasty version of what humans refer to as the chicken pox.
Does Winthrop know something about elven arses that we don't?
Why does killing the entire clergy in temples of Lathander never carry a reputation penalty in either game?
If a half-elf marries a human, could the child be a Paladin, or does the Radiant Heart operate on the "one drop" rule?
Why didn't Durlag just spend a few hundred out of his waist high gold piles to Raise his family?
Why does it take two hundred pounds of illithium to make a nine pound mace?
Why can't elves be druids?
How long were the dopplegangers in Candlekeep in place that they know what Gorion looked like?
Why can't you just take the Ring of Gaxx off the arms before you give them to Kangaxx?
When entire towns and contingents of guards try and flat out murder you over unsuccessfully trying to steal someone's empty pocket, how come Nasty Neb the childkiller just got a few months in jail?
Why do both Paladins you can get into your party have dialogue options where they can instantly try to murder you, even if you're a lawful good Paladin yourself, when the worst the insane priest of Cyric does is snub you?
If Clerics may only use "non-bladed, non-piercing weapons", how come so many of the blunt weapons they use have spikes?
or..
the one who threw them used a cursed sling of bullet-catching (+2)
or..
the one who threw them, threw them without a sling
..
2. Heh heheheheheh heh. I got some finnnne waitresses, don't I?
3. "You are evil! Let the morninglord's light destroy you!"*swings a mace of detonation at charname*
4. Of course it could not be a paladin. Only the purest strain of human can be a paladin. They have specific tests you see. *nods*
5. If you have billions and billions of dollars, are you not going to go and build a gigantic fortress out in the countryside that could house your entire extended family plus everyone you know?
6. MAGIC!
7. Elves cannot be druids since druids are non-elves that care for the forests, while almost all elves care for them. If Elves could be druids, then they would ALL be druids.
8. Greater Dopplegangers are telepathic. True story.
9. It is welded to it's finger magically.
10. You are... different inside... Do you even realize your potential?
11. They know you are a spawn of Bhaal, if they sense any evil, they will try to cut you down before it takes hold and transforms you into a half-fiend like Kazgaroth.
12. Spiked club-like weapons, are still bludgeoning weapons. If you got hit with a flail or mace, would it dent your armor? Yes. Would the spikes gore you? Yes as well.
If the Golems in D'Arnisse Keep are there to protect the family treasures from foreign invaders, why do they attack if Nalia takes them?
If Charname is only in their 20s, and an Elf, does that mean they're jailbait?
Is Aerie going to jail?
How about now?
Why does Firkraag have giant golems in his cramped dungeons? And, since they can't fit through the doors, how did they get in there?
If a few month's adventure is enough to take you from a group of six level 1 nobodies to a demon-slaying level 7+ champions of the country, why are Jaheira and Khalid, Gorion's "old friends", and "members of a badass secret society", both level 1 when you meet them?
When the average population earns a few silver or gold pieces per day, how come booze costs upwards of a gold piece per mug?
Why does Nalia's Aunt have a secret tunnel to the basement in her bedroom?
If an Elf and a Dragon had a baby, would the half-dragon be able be a Ranger/Cleric?
Would a Half-Dragon Ranger/Cleric be able to use their claws?
Why can Druids use spears, staves, and scimitars, but not halberds, bows, arrows, or katanas? Or even a Wakisashi/ninjato?
Why is it better for a druid to wear the artificially cured, treated and manipulated flesh of a once living creature than it is to wear metal?
2) If my daughter was a thief, I would consider as a kind offoreing invader.
3) Yes!
4) She is also jailbait, so it doesn't matter.
5) No, she will just have "that talk" with Quayle
6) He build the castle around them so theu can fit in.
7) Khalid lost everything in Naskel's game tent, Jaheira got mad and her cries attracted vampires. They got level drained until level one. Being broke, they couldn't afford restoration. Khalid is still thraumatised bu Jaheira which explains his attitude.
8) Because Innkeepers see your giant bag with tens of thousands gold pieces and overcharges you.
9) Incest with Lord D'Arnisse. Gorion and @GemHound wouldn't approve.
10) In 3e : yes, you can even be a dwarven defender if you want! In 2e : only if you convince your DM you are more elf then dragon, by finding an elven ancestor to your dragon parent.
11) Only if you say you use your fists. "-Isn't that mace a spiked weapon? -No... it's a blunt weapon... the spikes are just...decorations!...Like religious symbols or something.
12) Because bows requires them to stretch when shooting, halberds look retarded when you wear leather armor. And druids are racist bastards that don't like asians so they won't use asian swords. Druids are also hipsters (you can tell from the smell) and those weapons are too mainstreem.
13) It's not a matter of religious ethics, it is, like the bow, a matter of lazyness. Metal armors take so much time to put on! They also require a lot of treatment or they will rust. Since druid are lazy, they just put some leather on. And metal is too mainstreem. Except for iPhones.
2. Yes.
3. Yes.
4. Yes.
5. The skilled get promoted and get better assignments. Guarding an unwalled border town is for privates and people who piss off officers.
6. Drowned in Cloakwood Mines.
7. Head on over there at level one, in no armor, with no spells, and you'll have some idea what it's like to deal with an ahnkeg for regular folks. Plus, they make sweet armor.
8. Red. Obviously.
9. Armor is like ten times harder to make than weaponry, and not in as much demand since it's not practical for 90% of the population to wear it in their daily lives. Thus, most of the sets you find in BG are not newly made.
10. Lawful Neutral characters don't necessarily care about the laws of the land.
11. Equal parts ego, insanity, and a lack of practical intelligence.
12. A jerk.
13. Enchantments only work if you use the items correctly. Throwing sling bullets like rocks is not using them correctly.
14. They're at war with a rival guild that sabotages all of their operations. They have little to no income.
15. Wha? They totally do try to arrest you. Ever cast an arcane spell outside?
16. Saemon Havarian.
How did balduran's shield end up in the copper coronet?
Why is the ferret the lawful neutral famialiar? Anyone who ever owned a furet knows it isn't lawful neutral.
Where do duirds charge their iPhones?
Why didn't Sarevok just kill you instead of framing you for murder?
Why didn't the dukes send an army of Flamming Fist with you to defeat Sarevok?
Who is Semaj?
Who is James, Semaj's evil twin?
What are those spots in Xzar's face? He's only a level 1 wizard, he can't fail that badly a spell so he ends up like that.
What troll did Durlag Trollkiller kill when he earned his name? I've killed a lot of trolls in BG2 and never got a cool name.
How did Garrick survive a trip from Baldur's Gate to Amm without being robed, beaten, killed, raped and kidnapped ? ( all in that order)
Does Bothi really think she has a chance that my Undead Slayer will accept her offer? I might have min/max his stats and gave him 3 INT, but I can still see she's a vampire.
How, and why, did a shadow dragon enter the shadow temple?
What has lord Windspear done so that Firkraag kidnaps his daughter and steal his lands?
Why does it have to be Vallygar that squires for Mazzy? I wanted that honnor...
Why can't we belong with the pack on werewolf island?
Why can't we just let Imoen die in Spellhold? I don't want her in my party and my Cavalier feels bad letting her stay there.
1) Why charm people when you can Crush! Crush you to goo!
2) They have been infected with a Trojan Horse which allows the rune to control them from elongated distances.
3) Elves in the Forgotten Realms I believe grow up in the same timeframe as humans, yet keep looking like they are in their 20s until the last 2 or 3 years of their life.
4) No.
5) No.
6) They are there to protect the tomb. True story.
7) In all seriousness, balance concerns. In reality, they were trapped by a hidden coven of Vampiric Illithid which drained their levels to the point where they were only level ones and released them back into the world.
8) Wrong. People gain at least 10 gold per day when you think about the economy of the Sword Coast.
9) It is a secret tunnel to the family chapel and the dungeons. Perfectly in character.
10) Would a Kobold be able to be an archer?
11) Because... Stuff...
12) It is still from a natural creature, while metal armor is not from a natural living creature at all.
OOC: Some people seem to be unable to filter between the serious answers and the jokes.
@Wolk
1) Balduran's Shield is one of the items that were sold by Irenicus. I think you gained it between the killing of Sarevok and your capture.
2) They see me trollin. The LNs... Trollin... Tryin to catch me emptyin houses
3) ? I do not think this pertains since Druids would not have iPhones.
4) He tried. You escaped.
5) Why send troops you will need down into endlessly trapped halls when you can send a group of adventurers with no loss to you whether they win or lose?
6) Semaj was a NPC that was added in as a filler, nothing else.
7) James was actually on the original Baldur's Gate team.
8) It's called vampiric Illithid man. VAMPIRIC!
9) It was a very nasty one with a horde of trolls that sacked a city(not sure which one) and he ran in and cut his way through the ranks of trolls and landed the killing blow on their leader.
10) Well, Bards can hide in shadows, can't they? If not, then he just sung his way to Athkatla.
11) Definitely. She does not know that you specialize in slaying her kind.
12) *sighs* Yet another person who did not notice the pit.
13) Firkragg is a red dragon. he does not need a reason. Maybe Firkragg likes the land.
14) Wait. What? I have never kept Valygar that long.
15) Uhhhh.... I'm sure you would not want to.
16) She escapes man... easier than you do.
Why does no one have the ability to summon water elementals?
If all the Bhaalspawn are about the same age, how is Abazigal a fully grown dragon and how does he have a son who is also fully grown?
Are handmaidens of Lolth Higher ranking than the matron mothers or something?
If not, then why does that one handmaiden of Lolth interrupt you while you are performing a task at the personal order of the matron mother herself just to make you kill some silly slime god worshipers?
Who the hell is Cohrvale and Bregg's boss "Mr. F"?
Why does "Mr. F" employ idiots like Cohrvale and Bregg?
Jan's stories are all made up, right? R-Right?
If Grael guards Durlag's remains, then where are they?
Who resurrected Shank and Carbos?
Why would anyone do such a thing?
You could also just not do it.
1) Bears wander around in the wilderness. If you get between them and their cubs, they will kill you.
2) Water Elementals are not something that has an affinity to the dwellers of the lands of Toril since Water Elementals can only exist where there is a water source.
3) Wait... You think Bhaal only had a few days? He had centuries mang.
4) Definitely. A Handmaiden of Lolth is the direct underling of Lolth, while a Matron Mother just rules a house. A Matron mother controls armies, while a Handmaiden can basically aid in the downfall of a matron mother if the power is not used to Lolth's will.
7) Definitely not. If Jan's stories were made up, then me and Uncle Scratchy wouldn't have been tossed out of Waterdeep after the cracker shortage was finished.
8) Durlag wandered his halls until he died. Once he died, creatures found him, ate him, and left nothing behind.
9) Ulraunt. That guy is out to get you.