The End of Days... The Broccolypse...
*Anduin and his companions approach the compost of the gods...*
We did it boss... We Cauliflowers kicked Lord @Shandyr 's butt through the nine hells and now we're gonna erase his soul from the universe! I love being a good guy! I'm good at my job and good at kicking Broccoli hiney!
*Anduin irritated zaps a morass of midges, that surround the heap, in his path with a lightening bolt.*
That is not what beingGood means...
Hey, your the one with the smarts boss! Just make sure you send some honey glazed cauliflower our way when your god, we'll do some extra prayin' on your behalf like, for the priveledge...
*Anduin pauses and looks down to observe the leer on the cauliflowers face, he shudders, then shrugs, before climbing a mound of discarded orange peel to address his larger compatriots.*
@jackjack Thank you for your revelry and poetic genius. You are far more talented than you realise, and not as talented as other people think. When I am God, you will write hymns for the masses to sing my praises.
* @JackJack for the first time is left speechless...*
@booinyoureyes Your steely sword has ensured our victory. Thou who was named Cauliflower upon your birth will now be my prophet. Preach my name, pull the plough, sow my seed, and harvest my bounty, but ensure you do not bear the fruit of your labours. I am the god of vegetables after all...
* @booinyoureyes goes cross eyed at the last part...*
And last of all @CrevsDaak . You are now the master of the Church of Anduin. You have learnt all that I could teach you. Now you will lead. But remember to pray to me as the sun rises, so I can set, and fill your day's itinerary and book in cover on religious holidays.
* @CrevsDaak chokes*
I need now go on alone... Only the dead and plants can enter the compost of the gods. Farewll my friends... Do not cry for me, for I go to fulfill my destiny...
*Anduin turns his back on his companions, who have become angry, upset and veering towards violence, and walks onwards towards his destiny*
We did it boss... We Cauliflowers kicked Lord @Shandyr 's butt through the nine hells and now we're gonna erase his soul from the universe! I love being a good guy! I'm good at my job and good at kicking Broccoli hiney!
*Anduin irritated zaps a morass of midges, that surround the heap, in his path with a lightening bolt.*
That is not what beingGood means...
Hey, your the one with the smarts boss! Just make sure you send some honey glazed cauliflower our way when your god, we'll do some extra prayin' on your behalf like, for the priveledge...
*Anduin pauses and looks down to observe the leer on the cauliflowers face, he shudders, then shrugs, before climbing a mound of discarded orange peel to address his larger compatriots.*
@jackjack Thank you for your revelry and poetic genius. You are far more talented than you realise, and not as talented as other people think. When I am God, you will write hymns for the masses to sing my praises.
* @JackJack for the first time is left speechless...*
@booinyoureyes Your steely sword has ensured our victory. Thou who was named Cauliflower upon your birth will now be my prophet. Preach my name, pull the plough, sow my seed, and harvest my bounty, but ensure you do not bear the fruit of your labours. I am the god of vegetables after all...
* @booinyoureyes goes cross eyed at the last part...*
And last of all @CrevsDaak . You are now the master of the Church of Anduin. You have learnt all that I could teach you. Now you will lead. But remember to pray to me as the sun rises, so I can set, and fill your day's itinerary and book in cover on religious holidays.
* @CrevsDaak chokes*
I need now go on alone... Only the dead and plants can enter the compost of the gods. Farewll my friends... Do not cry for me, for I go to fulfill my destiny...
*Anduin turns his back on his companions, who have become angry, upset and veering towards violence, and walks onwards towards his destiny*
4
Comments
WAAAAY COOL!
You are the only deity that accepted me as a Priest, Cyric said I was too sadist and evil, Ilmater rejected me because I am too prideful and Helm threw me his Sword so I guess that he wasn't happy.
So, do I get those awesome once per day mage spells as Innate or I have to wait some levels?
Also, do I Turn Undead or Turn INTO Undead?
Can I make a tower with vegetables for our God-of-All-that-Grows-Vegetably?
Now, I'd be thinking, and I think a lot mind, you can see when weeding, that you need to be taken to the innermost steaming sanctums of the compost of the gods?
Aye! I do! Are you friend or foe? Will you hinder of help?
*The man sighs*
I'd be the Guardenarr, fear me.
Excuse me? TheGardener, the Gardener of the gods, the gods Gardener of legend?
*The man sighs even deeper...*
Actually, I'm the god's hired help, but I do most of the gardening anyway... And... And... I sort of do guard the place as well so... You know... Guard... Gardener... Guardener... It's a much better name than the God's hired help, don'tcha think?
One word and he will be pushin' up daisies boss...
*Anduin glares at his Cauliflower's and shakes his head before speaking...*
Uhm... Yes, a much better name... Can you take us to the grass cuttings of helm?
Be glad to... Follow me.
Ah, you belong here, you really do, in the heart of the gods compost heap...
Of course the boss belongs here! He is going to be the god of vegetables
*Anduin ignores the conversation, the shards each begin to pulse, the sky grows darker, greener, meaner... Shadows cast by the last rays of the dying sun, stretch and reach out, from each of the highest mounds, towards the center where Anduin stands. Anduin looks up and gazes in wonderment as the cosmic ballet of planets align above him.*
Nah, you foolish little Colli. Your the most rotten, evil, stinking veg, in the whole compost heap. You make some of Mystra's millennium old teabags seem fresh in comparison...
My destiny... MY DESTINY !
NO ONE CALLS US CAULI OR THE BOSS ROTTEN ! KILL HIM LADS!
*The cauliflowers turn green in rage and draw daggers, and jump up, finally clawing the Guardenarr to the ground... The Guardenarr, stares accusingly at Anduin, as the Cauliflowers, repeatedly stab, hack and gouge, spraying green ichor across the dark earth*
Maligned. Spoilt. Off. Rotten. Rotten to the core. Rotten. Rot. Rot. Ro-
*A spray of green ichor awakes Anduin from his trance*
What? No... NO ! ! ! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE !
*Green lightening strikes the earth and Anduin, grows larger than mountains and larger than the sky in the blink of an eye as he transcends to god-hood*
I'm rotten... I'm rotten... I'M A ROTTEN GOD !
*Anduin looks at himself. As a mortal, a dead mortal, he prided himself on being dry, whole and mummified. A picture of undeath, that any museum would happily put on display. Now, in his vastness, the dirty bandages, the dessicated, broken skin and to Anduin's horror, missing toes, he could not hide the rot that was without, as well as that was within...*
I will raise him! I will bring him back! He that helped me! I'll bring him back!
*Anduin focuses but fails...*
Your followers do not wish him to be alive, my son.
Queen Esta of Cauli!
Your humble servant, god of vegetables...
Ha! Your believers know better than you... Kill all the movers, I say!
King Kog?
TheKing Kog, your god-ship. Well, now. As you have turned away from the good side. I say, embrace the dark side! Everyone knows the best soil is black... Black down to the core of the earth! Together we can starve millions! Poison billions! In fact lets kill everybody and show these animals whats for!
No!
Well your not on her side are you?
Well *sob* Oh, Queen Ester, I've fallen from the path of righteousness! I'm rotten! How do I get back? How do I make everything better?
My son. My child. There is a way. But you will need to make a great sacrifice...
You allowed your frustrations in your battle with Lord @Shandyr cloud your judgement. His assassination by your most loyal cauliflowers, was the first evil act committed by our kind in millenia. It made them no different than the evil Broccoli they faced...
NONSENSE! It made you strong! Your enemy was reduced to Broccoflowers scattered around the forum for you to find so you could ascend to god-hood! If I could have done it, I would have!
After this first evil act, many more followed. The rot crept in. I wept as my Cauli ended an age of enlightenment for weapons and death...
Best decision ever! Stop this. It's not rot. It is good healthy evil at it's best! You feel bad now... But soon, you'll start to enjoy it! Look, let me tell you a plan to strike fear into the world. EXPLODING POTATOES ! Your eating a roastie and BANG! It blows your head off! But not all potatoes will explode... Every time anyone buys a baked potatoe it'll be like, will this explode and kill me or will it feed me till tea tim-
ENOUGH ! No exploding potatoes! No more killing! I want to be rid of this rot!
Then you need to make everything back to normal and revive Lord @Shandyr .
But... I'll no longer be a god.
But you will be Anduin again. YOU. The good, honest, trustworthy, Anduin, the undead mummie gnome
I understand... But before I go... Lets correct some wrongs... I want peace between ALL Broccoli and ALL Cauliflower!
Then peace there shall be.
NEVER ! For peace to happen between the Cauliflowers and Broccoli, we would have to become one race again!
So be it!
*Anduin claps his hands, and the world changes*