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Help, cat owners...?

Demonoid_LimewireDemonoid_Limewire Member Posts: 424
edited July 2014 in Off-Topic
Well, remember the two sibling cats, that once i mentioned that i take care of? I have a problem with one of them, it becomes too attached to me (even though it begun its life in the wild and up until a few months old, when i found it) and behaves at me as if i am a cat myself!

It always jumps on my lap whenever i sit down on a chair, grabs my arm with its paws, and... starts grooming me! It starts licking me, and its gross, because even worse, its tongue is like glass paper! When i try to withdraw my arm, it pulls out its claws and drag it back closer... Then keeps grooming even more meticulously... After my arm, it grooms my belly and torso even (i do not dare try to withdraw there, i hate scratches and misunderstandings). It even out of the blue bit lightly my nip.....

I freaked out big time. I know animals do this stuff to clean themselves, but i am not an animal myself obviously! I like the idea of the poor thing telling me that "i am its family too" with its own way, but that way is simply intolerable and even gross. I like cuddling, petting and stroking its fur, but it licking me, hell no, goes too far. How can i discourage it from doing this "ritual" every time i go out and sit to relax? Without frightening or harming it (poor little thing), of course?

Comments

  • FinneousPJFinneousPJ Member Posts: 6,455
    Tell it off?
  • JuliusBorisovJuliusBorisov Member, Administrator, Moderator, Developer Posts: 22,754
    Cast dispel magic on him! Quickly!
  • CorvinoCorvino Member Posts: 2,269
    You do now belong to the cat. They are contrary little gits and pretty much do whatever they want. My Parents' cat tends to groom peoples hair if they lie down on sofas near it. It is gross.

    Cats are pretty much the #2 topic on the internet though (after porn) so there must be a few training and behaviour websites out there that might be useful.
  • RavenslightRavenslight Member Posts: 1,609
    I actually had a similar situation happen to me. I ended up using the cats own language, as best I could, to discourage the unwanted behavior. Every time she tried to “groom” me, I hissed and gave a low growl, as close to what I had observed other cats do to each other as I could muster. The first couple of times I clapped my hands as well. After that, all it took was the hiss and/or growl. She soon got the idea. Now she is still extremely affectionate, but respectful as well.
  • Demonoid_LimewireDemonoid_Limewire Member Posts: 424
    edited July 2014
    CaloNord said:

    Your salty and your cat loves you. It's best just to accept this, it won't change. Welcome to owning a cat. Your life is over. You belong to the cat now.

    image

    But seriously, there's not much you can do at the moment... how old is it?

    It is a a year and some few months old. I don't know its exact age, i found it outside and with its sibling cat, after feeding and petting, they spend 1/3 or 1/2 of their day, in my front yard.
    Corvino said:

    You do now belong to the cat. They are contrary little gits and pretty much do whatever they want. My Parents' cat tends to groom peoples hair if they lie down on sofas near it. It is gross.

    Cats are pretty much the #2 topic on the internet though (after porn) so there must be a few training and behaviour websites out there that might be useful.

    Yes, it was the first place i checked (cat behavior on google). It made me understand what the little fella thinks, but not suggestions to solve it...

  • CaloNordCaloNord Member Posts: 1,809
    @JessicaKrystal said the best way to fix this is just to give the cats to her. I told her we can't have cats because the land agent will EAT US.
  • JessicaKrystalJessicaKrystal Member Posts: 29
    So I got possums instead. Can't complain about the possums, unless they get you confused with a tree.
  • NaturalBornKielerNaturalBornKieler Member, Moderator, Translator (NDA) Posts: 407
    When my cat misbehaves in some way, I blow her gently in the face. It's a bit like hissing but softer, she understands that she's not supposed to behave like that and stops immediately, there's a good cat. (Well, the effect lasts about 1.9 seconds but that's quite long, for a cat.)
  • Demonoid_LimewireDemonoid_Limewire Member Posts: 424

    Forced grooming is an aggressive behavior, and cats sometimes do that to prey. Your cat may not be treating you as another cat, but as prey, and that needs to stop, because the violence will escalate and become more serious as the cat gets bigger.

    The idea to hiss and emit a low growl is good. As soon as the cat starts to lick, slowly and gently remove your arms and hands. Put your hands behind your head, behind your back, up in the air, anywhere at all where the cat can't reach. Say "no" and "ssssssssst". If the cat continues to behave aggressively, put it down on the floor, and if it keeps jumping back onto you, isolate it in another room for a short time if necessary.

    Meanwhile, make sure you are providing an environment that does not make your cat become neurotic. It must have a high place it can jump to and perch on when it feels nervous or agitated. A cat that is forced to stay on the floor all the time is going to go crazy. A nice sunny windowsill is ideal. Cats need to look out the window and they need sunshine.

    The cat needs a bed (or two or three) and several areas it can "own". I keep a cat bed over my kitchen cabinets, and one of my two cats "owns" that area. He stays up there half the time and surveys "his territory" for hours on end, and is very content doing it.

    There is a cat bed on top of an old printer stand in front of my living room window, and the other cat "owns" that area, as well as a sunny area in front of my patio doors.

    I have a backroom with a couch in front of the window that catches the evening sun. The two cats have that couch divided into areas - one "owns" one side, and the other "owns" the other side. They each sit on top of the couch every evening, each on their own side of the couch, to enjoy the evening sun.

    Play is very important. You need a dangle toy (or two or three) that you can use to redirect your cat's aggressive instincts onto an appropriate object. Spend at least several minutes a day playing with the dangle toy, and encourage your cat to be as violent with it as possible. The more you make it act like real prey, the more your cat will get into the game. Let your cat stalk it, have it "see" the cat and try to run away and hide, make it act like a bird or a mouse.

    With regular play, your cat should be able to use its hunting energy up on the toy(s). It will then be tired and much more inclined to relax and sleep in your lap and accept stroking as you want, without trying to "hunt" and "kill" your hands.

    One of the most complete, detailed and insightful answers, yet! Great post, this one! The only thing, though, is that the grooming isn't "forced", rather impulsive and instinctual. Never got violent to me. Always meows softly, looks in the eyes and always blinks, wraps itself around me, and purrs with happiness, if i do not object to either cuddling (i would never object to that!!!), or grooming. Seems to me like a spoiled orphan, despite the fact it has a brother cat. Maybe its mother abandoned it too early? Perhaps had more siblings that did not survive for some reason? If man psychology is abysmal, i cannot even begin to imagine a cat's...

    Some hour ago, though, it was rolling on the floor, with open arms, and when i ducked to look it in the eyes as i always do, it licked my nose and lips this time... Absolutely have to try the hissing thing, although i admit i feel badly about it going to be startled...

    About the area, i never, ever, restricted it. It roams around in the neighborhood, exactly as it pleases, both it and the sibling. Many times, though, one stays in my yard, and the other goes out, much like patrols or stationary patrols in the army! They find many areas to sleep into, both high and low (they go low mostly when it is raining or when they are scared by something). I never forced them to stay in one place, they do whatever they want to, and i leave it at that, since they cause neither commotion, nor damage (as i read, this is rare thing for kitties).
  • SapphireIce101SapphireIce101 Member Posts: 866
    Opposite problem, but back when I was four I had a cat. He wouldn't groom himself at all for some reason. So, my dad stuck him in the bathtub, and gave him a bath. Poor thing was so scared as my dad bathed him... Of course, one day, I let my cat out of the cat carrier, and he ran away..

    Then, ten years later, got a different cat, this time it was a girl. She still had her claws. She liked to claw up the couch, and meow at my door when I tried to sleep. So, to solve one problem, we got her lots of toys that she could claw on. However, she still liked to claw on the couch. Then, later on, she started finding hiding places, and hunting down mice and flies. Finally, when it was time to move I gave my cat to my cousins, and saw her about three years later at Christmas. Last year, though, I found out that my cat had to be put down because she went...crazy. :(

    Otherwise, as for your problem, I would go with what everyone else has said so far.
  • Demonoid_LimewireDemonoid_Limewire Member Posts: 424
    Unfortunately, cats are carnivores and predators. Despite appearing (and being!) cute and playful, they have a hunter's insticts! That's why some people advice against them being kept indoors... And that is why i let them roam freely outside, despite the fact i could grab them and have them move indoors with me. Now, i feel sorry... Mine is no problem at all, compared to the above. Maybe i 'll leave it at that, then. I would hate to give my pet to someone else, or god forbid, learn or see it die. Even with extreme expressions, love and affection, is love and affection, and everyone or everything showing or receiving it, is very lucky.
  • TarotMasterTarotMaster Member Posts: 147
    Cat owns you you don't own it... or at least that's what mine tells me constantly. Mine still needs to be fixed i would get it done my self but i have no $$ sadly. My sister is the prime caregiver of the cat because she is the one who brought it home with her in Oct. Oh ya and water spray bottle is good for training, unless your cat loves water then it may be a bit difficult.
  • NaturalBornKielerNaturalBornKieler Member, Moderator, Translator (NDA) Posts: 407
    Instead of negative feedback (like the water spray) positive feedback is often more rewarding (and nicer for the human too :). Did any of you ever try clicker training?
    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Clicker_training

    Never tried that myself but a coworker says it works pretty well with dogs, she's a dog trainer as a hobby. Maybe it's a good idea to try that with the young cat(s). The idea behind is that while human language is difficult to understand for the animal, a clicking tone is easy to learn and recognize when it's used for praising the desired behavior.
  • rufus_hobartrufus_hobart Member Posts: 490

    So I got possums instead. Can't complain about the possums, unless they get you confused with a tree.

    heh, just don't hand feed them apples...we have several that play in our trees at night, my wife and i enjoy them so feed themon occasion...one friendly little fuzz decided we were worth climbing up to get the apples from our hands...all i can say is OUCH!
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