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A list of Baeloth's phrases/banters in BGEE

JuliusBorisovJuliusBorisov Member, Administrator, Moderator, Developer Posts: 21,713
While I've been playing through BGEE recently, with an attempt to make my evil party for SoD, I've gathered all of Baeloth's banters.

I checked the boards, and it seems there's no list of Baeloth's banters in BGEE. Let's fix it - because everyone should know about these awesome phrases.

Baeloth came as an easter-egg NPC with one of the patches for BGEE - as a compensation for a later release date of BGEE than it had been previously planned. But it didn't prevent Baeloth to have all those phrases. I enjoyed them a lot and wanted to share them with you (it's a shame you can't hear them in his voice):

[spoiler=The joining dialogue, including Banter with Neera]

Baeloth: You fool! I am not fully revived! I am diminished, damaged, and DANGEROUSLY DETERIORATED! Why, I've even lost some of my perspicacity!

Neera: Hehehe!

Baeloth: Najim? Are you even LISTENING? My most obedient serv--friend! WHERE ARE YOU?! Surely you aren't going to leave me UP HERE!

Baeloth: Argh! YOU CONNIVING CUR! I will crack you realm wide open and DRAG YOU INTO THIS PLANE OF-- Oh, hello. Well, this is awkward.

CHARNAME: A1. Well met, I am CHARNAME.
A2. Who the hell are you?

Baeloth (if A1): Greetings, friendly, ah, surface-dweller. You wouldn't happen to know the direction to the nearest entrance to the Underdark, would you?

CHARNAME: B1. I'm afraid I don't.
B2. Where on Earth did you come from?

Neera: Two!

Baeloth(if B1): You must be crawling with questions, but first let me elucidate recent events. Perhaps may of your petty ponderances will be answered!

Baeloth(if B2): From the Underdark. Was that not clear? Goodness, are you blind? Eugh, I hadn't realized how sickly you surfacer sort are.

CHARHAME(if B2): As pleasant as you are, I'm afraid I don't know where an Underdark entrance can be located.

Neera(if B2): Is he doing that on purpose?

CHARNAME(if B2): BB1. Shush, Neera
BB2. I hope so!

Baeloth(if B2): No, I suppose you wouldn't. This is particularly problematic for a popular power player such as myself!

CHARNAME(if B2): And who might, ah, yourself be?

Neera (if B2): He must be! Five words! Did you hear that?

Baeloth (if A2 or B2): How could I forget!? Allow me to introduce myself. I am Baeloth Barrityll, more commonly known as BAELOTH THE ENTERTAINER! Yes, I know. THAT Baeloth. Fall to your keens and beg for mercy, I'm sure you know the drill.

CHARNAME: C1. I shall do no such thing.
C2. The thing about that is... I left my kneepads back at home, and, well, you know how these things go.

Baeloth(if C2): Hmm. Perhaps you aren't as cultured as I had assumed. In any case, it seems that I am in a bit of a bind. I am unable to return to my home, left bare to the boundless barbarism of the surface world!

CHARNAME(if C2): That's a shame. How could such a nice guy like you get mixed up in a situation like this?

Baeloth: You must be crawling with questions, but first let me elucidate recent events. Perhaps many of your petty ponderances will be answered!

CHARNAME: D1. By the gods. if my eyes continue to roll at this speed, they'll begin to smoke!
D2. Perhaps they will be. Carry on, then.

Neera: Is no one else cathing this? These are great!

Baeloth: My most recent project was a little something I called the Black Pits. I'm sure you've heard of it. Mortal pitted against mortal in a desperate bid to... oh, it doesn't matter anymore.

CHARNAME: E1. Can't say that I have.
E2. Yes, in fact! I've visited that particular bank of outhouses many times.

Baeloth(if E2): Outhouses? you dare compare my barony of bloody battles to a prive?

CHARNAME (if E2): I must have been mistaken.

Baeloth(if E1 and if E2): You must be out of the loop. It was a marvelous sight! The roaring crowd, my obedient djinn slave keeping the prisoners in line, the sound of hammer crushing bone--ah, such forn memories!

CHARNAME: F1. How did you GET the djinn in the first place?
F2. Sounds like quite the hotspot.

Baeloth(if F1): A favor here, a clever spell there, a geas or two. It's not so hard.

CHARNAME(if F1): And it worked out so well for you!

Baeloth(if F1 and F2): Things went swimmingly until some upstarts tricked me into facing them in battle. They cheated, of course.

Baeloth: But I am nothing if not calculatingly cautious, and so I instructed that djinn jerk Najim to grant me a final wish: that I be protected from death: Oh, he granted that one, all right.

Neera: Oooh! That was a good one! Wait, how is djinn spelled?

Baeloth: As you can see, I live again. No Demonweb Pits for me! But I am bereft of my previous power, forced to converse with a pack of mouth-brea-- Oh, I apologize. I'm beginning to ramble!

CHARNAME: G1. I've been called worse by better. In any case, I feel a request coming.
G2. Did he also rob you of your manners?

Baeloth(if G1): I am simply unaccustomed to dealing with your kind on less than crushingly advantageous terms.

CHARNAME(if G1): I'll try to speak slowly and in reverent tones.

Baeloth(if G1 or G2): I do not make it a habit to beg others for aid, and I prefer to lend favors rather than request them.

CHARNAME: Now I definitely feel a request coming.

Baeloth: Clearly, I still command SOME of my powers. Even in this diminished state, I must remain one of the top five spellcasters in all the realms. If someone were to offer me martial protection, I'm sure I could be of great help to... whatever it is you're doing.

CHARNAME: H1. There it is! Fine. Whatever. Welcome aboard.
H2. I'm afraid I can't take you with me.
H3. Die, drow!

Baeloth(if H3): Oh, COME ON!

Baeloth(if H2): No! NO! NO, NO, NO! Don't LEAVE me here, you moronic miscreant! There are pale-skinned barbarians everywhere.

Charname(if H2): I1. Make your way to the Friendly Arm Inn. It's not far, and if you hide outside the walls on the east side, you probably won't be disvovered and killed. Probably.
I2. On second thought, sure. Your whining convinced me.

Baeloth(if I1): Fine! I'll just make my way there myself. I don't need your help. Begone!

Neera(if H1 or I2): Wait, there's a list? Who even keeps track of that? Is there someone I can write to? This isn't one of those "Who's Who in Faerun" scams, is it?

Baeloth(if H1 or I2): So I can really come with you? How perspicacious of you! You won't regret this. Now then, I assume you'll want me in a leadership capacity.

CHARNAME(if H1or I2): J1. Back of the line, drow.
J2. Indeed! Just write down you suggestions and then choke on them.

Baeloth(if J1): Don't think you can intimidate me. Let us hope that you learn proper respect before my patience withers.

Baeloth(if J2): Very crass. Fine then, lead onward.


[spoiler=Banter with Viconia in Larswood, before joining the group]

Viconia: Stay your hand a moment, CHARNAME. Drow do not typically leave the Underdark of their own accord, and I do not wish to see one of my kind slain without good reason.

Baeloth: Ooooh, I LIKE this one!

Viconia: Check your tongue, male. Clearly you do not know what I consider to be "good reason".

Baeloth: But of course, slender one. Anything for a lady of such grace. What house did you say you were from again? Please don't say Do'Urden.

Viconia: House Do'Urden!? The depths of their treachry cannot even BEGIN to-- Ahem. Consider your hand unstayed, CHARNAME.


[spoiler=Banter with Edwin in Larswood, before joining the group]

Edwin: Excuse me if I chortle, drow. I doubt you would rank withing the top five spellcasters within your own bed!

Baeloth: And it's true! I am shockingly popular with sorcerous women.

Edwin: What!? That quick wit will last you only so long, dark one. (If we elect to bring him with us, I shall see that I am rewarded handsomely for his head.)


[spoiler=When talked to next to the FAI, if wasn't taken to the party from the start or was kicked out from the party]

Baeloth: I hope you're satisfied. Look at my clothing! Caked-on mud everywhere! Do you have any idea how many hairy, four legged BEASTS I had to avoid while making my way here? Woofs, were there? Wharves? I don't know.

CHARNAME: Hello to you too, Baeloth. I have need of you. Will you join me?

Baeloth: YES! At last, some protection! Protection for YOU, that is. I will join you. So that you can feel safe.


[spoiler=When kicked out from the party or rejected in joining at the FAI]

Baeloth: No! NO! NO, NO, NO! Don't LEAVE me here, you moronic miscreant! Don't let me die at the hands of pale-skinned barbarians!


[spoiler=In the Friendly Arm Inn]

Baeloth: A den of diminituve dullards! What would possess us to come to such a filthy hovel?


[spoiler=Nashkel Mines]

Baeloth: Stay at attention, you deficient dimwits! Grab a shovel. We can make the Underdark in a few hours of digging.



Baeloth: There aren't any elves around here, are there? I have no qualms about vaporizing a few of those avrasive curs, but they have an irritating habit of attacking in large numbers.


[spoiler=In the Baldur's Gate city]

Baeloth: Being the center of attention is something I normally aspire to, but I am beginning to rething that stance.


[spoiler=In the Iron Throne building]

Baeloth: Now this... THIS I like. Secure a room for us at once!


[spoiler=Candlekeep library]

Baeloth: Ugh, a pretentious pile of petty ponderances. No wonder you surface folk never get anything done--you're too busy poring over ancient manuscripts. Where's the flair? Where's the excitement?


[spoiler=Candlekeep catacombs, after the teleport]

Baeloth: If I recall correctly, it's "rock crushes lizard." I won't forget that one again.


[spoiler=The Undercity]

Baeloth: The Undercity? Well, it's close enough to home, I suppose.


[spoiler=Before the last fight]

Baeloth: This brutish brawler we're about to beat had better be the finale to this little escapade. We need to focus on GETTING ME HOME ALREADY.


P.S. I can't wait to see fully written banters and phrases of Baeloth in SoD. If Baeloth as an easter-egg had such good lines, how will it be when he's an integral part of a party, just like any other NPC?

P.P.S. If someone knows more of Baeloth's phrases or banters for BGEE, I will appreciate you sharing them.

Post edited by JuliusBorisov on


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