I just saved before making this choice, so probably we are in the same part of the game Anyway for me surrender is not an option, so i don't have doubts.
Id like to add that i find this backlash extremely suprising i thougught nothing of the transgender thing. In fact i didnt even pick up on it being an issue and id fully spoken to that character. Maybe its american sensibilities but it seems a non issue to me. Im really enjoying the content. I cant wait for something else from beamdog.
I only tried attacking the crusaders once. My party didn't take too much damage, but the Flaming Fist got slaughtered without doing too much damage to the enemy, and since they were still sufficiently numerous to overwhelm my PC's, I decided to reload and surrender. I haven't tried again since, although with Haste and Emotion I could probably take them.
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Anyway for me surrender is not an option, so i don't have doubts.