Once Again I'm Writing A Book

Xeroshi

I've dropped my prior project and am now working on a new project. This time however it is not 6000 words long in fact its less than a thousand. It would be nice to have some feedback from fellow writers, and those who read a lot keep in mind i'm still very new to writing so it won't be the best.

brus

I will remember the term hypothermia inducing blizzards.
How long have you writing chapter 1?

Xeroshi

brus said:

I will remember the term hypothermia inducing blizzards.
How long have you writing chapter 1?

A couple of days now

FinneousPJ

What happened to the last one?

Xeroshi

FinneousPJ said:

What happened to the last one?

I looked over it and realized it would take me several days to rewrite parts and such

FinneousPJ

Several days? What do you think is a reasonable timespan for writing a book?

Mr2150

Here are some of my initial thoughts:

Formatting - To help with comprehension:
Format all the text as 'justified'
Don't indent the text for speech and new paragraphs
Speech is better written like this: “I wish to buy a set of plate mail,” answered Canil.
Use more commas:
Instead of: He heads inside his small wooden house and takes a seat on his large chair and watches his fireplace.
Say: He heads inside his small, wooden house, takes a seat on his large chair, and watches his fireplace.

Xeroshi

FinneousPJ said:

Several days? What do you think is a reasonable timespan for writing a book?

Years if not longer, but there is another reason, I was just Bored with the book and the world

Xeroshi

Mr2150 said:

Here are some of my initial thoughts:

Formatting - To help with comprehension:
Format all the text as 'justified'
Don't indent the text for speech and new paragraphs
Speech is better written like this: “I wish to buy a set of plate mail,” answered Canil.
Use more commas:
Instead of: He heads inside his small wooden house and takes a seat on his large chair and watches his fireplace.
Say: He heads inside his small, wooden house, takes a seat on his large chair, and watches his fireplace.

Ah thank you! its always helpful to learn how I can improve

joluv

You're getting better at this! My advice is to try to be consistent about tense. For example, is this conversation happening in the past or the present?

“I wish to buy a set of plate mail.” Answered Canil
“That’ll be two hundred gold coins” Says Cinic

Xeroshi

joluv said:

You're getting better at this! My advice is to try to be consistent about tense. For example, is this conversation happening in the past or the present?

“I wish to buy a set of plate mail.” Answered Canil
“That’ll be two hundred gold coins” Says Cinic

That particular conversation is taking place in the present

Xeroshi

I have now continued chapter 1 and fixed some stuff mentioned before.

Yamcha

@Mr2150
I think everyone has to find his own style of writing. 5 commas in a short sentence seems a bit over the top.
http://www.openculture.com/2013/08/cormac-mccarthys-punctuation-rules.html

McCarthy might not be the best role model for the aspiring writer, but he shows that the opposite of your advice works very well too

Xeroshi

Yamcha said:

@Mr2150
I think everyone has to find his own style of writing. 5 commas in a short sentence seems a bit over the top.
http://www.openculture.com/2013/08/cormac-mccarthys-punctuation-rules.html

McCarthy might not be the best role model for the aspiring writer, but he shows that the opposite of your advice works very well too

Thank you

Mr2150

The commas I suggested (and there were only 3 of them) were comma pauses, where the reader would naturally pause whilst reading the line. I don't claim to be an expert with the written word.

I have no idea who Cormac McCarthy is, and frankly I fundamentally disagree with him. Having looked, I would say his style of writing would require a true language expert to work finely in ensuring full comprehension. As do VERY many of the comments on the link you posted. I especially like the comment that describes punctuation as:

Punctuation is like the beams in a house: the beams are there to support the structure of the house, to prevent it from falling into disarray and to give an added level in the house. An excess of beams, if artistically fashioned, can be passed off as pillars, which are essentially superfluous but help the onlooker to recognize that, yes, this is indeed a house.

Yes, they aren't always necessary - and too many would be a nightmare - but If you want something to be read, then helping the reader as much as possible is essential, in my opinion.


Further, here's a few other examples why commas are vital:

"It's time to eat kids!"
I'm feeling lonely. I have two hours to kill someone come find me!
My favourite things are cooking my cat and the beach.
Latest news: Obama-Castro handshake and same-sex marriage date set.

joluv

Mr2150 said:

"It's time to eat kids!"

Apt example for a discussion of Cormac McCarthy's work.

Fardragon

Some writers do without punctuation all together.

But it's the same as any art: you need a thorough understanding of the rules before you set out to break them.

sparkleav

Everything else has already been mentioned here so I've no need to go over it again but should you not use capital letters for the name of the inn? Cold Tree Inn.

OlvynChuru

I'm looking at this thread in Firefox, and on the tab for this page it says, "Once Again I'm Writing a Boo..."