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Looking for thoughts: comic stuff

DragonKingDragonKing Member Posts: 1,661
edited November 2019 in Off-Topic
Ok I going to asking you guys, these are two comics I've been working on, the dark mage and the iron mage. The dark mage came first but I had got a massive amount of inspiration which led to me starting the iron mage. But part of me is telling me to focus on the iron mage while part of me is tellintr to go back to the dark mage.
Which do you guys think I should focus on, here is the synopsis for both.

The dark mage...
"The Oba is a travelling Dark Magician from the southern continent who seeks to learn all the secrets of magic. In his travels he will face many challenges from man to gods to achieve his goal to know it all"

The Iron Mage
" Oba is th emotionally distant seventh born prince of the Abioye warrior empire that rules the southern continent. By the command of his father, Oba most navigate the hurdles of a political marriage to the princess Addriana Blair, heir to the throne of the kingdom Rhaywin kingdom, help maintained the alliance between the Abioye empire, the Rhaywin kingdom, the kingdom of Hell, and the kingdom of undeath all while searching for a way to postpone his own death at the hands of a gift/curse of possessing a nigh-infinite mana pool that he had awakened within him and has been been slowly killing him ever since he was a child.
(This wasn't the original synopsis I used but some people felt the original was to generic)
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Post edited by DragonKing on
ThacoBellJuliusBorisovKamigoroshi

Comments

  • ThacoBellThacoBell Member Posts: 10,049
    Well, the basic plot of the Iron Mage seems more fleshed out. So maybe inspiration is leading you that way?

    Balrog99
  • DragonKingDragonKing Member Posts: 1,661
    @ThacoBell
    They both are quite written out, I had added more of the story to the synopsis of the iron mage because I was asked to and it was originally just the bare gist of the character.


    The Iron Mage
    "Oba is a sorcerer from the southern continent who was born with a nigh-infinite pool of Mana that has been slowly killing him since his talents as a shaman first awakened as a boy. He now searches the world to find a way to control his Mana flow before it burns him alive from the inside or he causes another calamity to the world due to mana overflowing into his spells.

  • DrHappyAngryDrHappyAngry Member Posts: 1,322
    You could make the titles sound a lot cooler and more serious if you just used the Latin or Greek. Like instead of Dark Mage it could be Magus Tenebrarum.

  • KamigoroshiKamigoroshi Member Posts: 5,324
    My initial thought would be to fuse both stories together at some point or another. Either as The Iron Mage being the prequel of Dark Mage, or have something like The Darksteel Mage with various arcs from both comics in it. Or something.

    And I don't think that Latin or Greek titles would go particularly well here. Since I get the feeling that some of the place and people names have more of a Bantu vibe to them. Though I could be totally wrong on that front.

  • DrHappyAngryDrHappyAngry Member Posts: 1,322
    My initial thought would be to fuse both stories together at some point or another. Either as The Iron Mage being the prequel of Dark Mage, or have something like The Darksteel Mage with various arcs from both comics in it. Or something.

    And I don't think that Latin or Greek titles would go particularly well here. Since I get the feeling that some of the place and people names have more of a Bantu vibe to them. Though I could be totally wrong on that front.

    It still sounds better than the modern english, and Mage is derived from the word Magus anyways. But ya, you could just intermix Bantu with it instead.

  • DragonKingDragonKing Member Posts: 1,661
    @Kamigoroshi
    They kinda already are, the iron mage game second and I had tried to take the things from the dark mage that I liked and put it into it like Lilith the queen of hell, I'm using the exact same character who was originally in the Dark Mage, but the more I started writing out the story for the iron mage the more it became it's own thing.

    @DrHappyAngry
    Now when you say Bantu for clarification you're referring to the languages of the groups of people who live within Central and Southern Africa?

  • DragonKingDragonKing Member Posts: 1,661
    @DrHappyAngry
    Sorry for the late reply...
    Actually the Bantu is one of the real world references I'm using, the main character is from a fictional empire inspired by the Bantu while the first part of the story itself will be placed in a more Celtic themed location.

  • _Nightfall__Nightfall_ Member Posts: 224
    edited November 2019
    Hmmph, I wonder if father would be so eager knowing his grandchildren could burn his precious palace to the ground? Why am I so sure that this will eat my children as it has eaten me?
    “Demonfire brother! I am nearly ready. “
    And why is Noba so anxious for this marriage? Third brother, has his own wife that he has loved since birth apparently, why is he pushing this? He cares little for the realm. Is it the girl, Adrianna is certainly beautiful and is as smart and willful as they come, but why should Nolba care? His indifference to me has been one of the constants of my life.
    “Move it, they will come looking for you soon!”
    Like you care Noba! Like you care. “I said, I am ready!”.
    Okay the knot is perfect, better get out there before he comes in looking for me
    Darkness, he should have been firstborn. Look at him, born to be king. “What do you think?”
    “You’ll do. If you’re late father will have my head. Let’s go,”
    843 steps to the grand hall, a few words and it will be over. I can make it. So why are the shadows creeping into the edge of my vision? Not now, please!
    “Oba! Do you want to see my head on a pike? Keep up!”
    “Yeah, right here.” Lord of Hell it hurts. Please, don’t! Not today!
    “Oba, come on!” How can his hand be so cold on my arm? “Oba, you are burning!”
    “It’s okay, we are almost there.”


    I like the potential of the Iron Mage story line.

    Post edited by _Nightfall_ on
  • DragonKingDragonKing Member Posts: 1,661
    @_Nightfall_
    Lmao, what did I just read?xD

    Also I wasn't even notified of your comment, but fun fact, the right of acention is given to the offspring that;

    1. Kills the current ruling parent in one on one combat.
    2. Kills the other 6 current children in combat for the right to rule.
    3. In front of the empire itself or the current most respect warriors of the empire.

    The whole thing with Oba being sent off for political gain is actually a first among the empire as it's most know for conquest and war.

  • _Nightfall__Nightfall_ Member Posts: 224
    Just a little excerpt from the Iron Mage story.
    I read your description and that just popped into my head, had to write it down. Wedding day about to go wrong. Sorry.
    Ignore me, I am the village idiot.

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