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My Cast For a Baldur's Gate Movie

Knight12ifyKnight12ify Member Posts: 23
edited July 2012 in Archive (General Discussion)
Director - Uwe Boll: Fantastic, fantastic director. I really think he could pull this off.

Real Knight kills moron writing thread for him and goes to write it himself.

REAL Director - Ridley Scott: Sure when you think of Scott you think of Gladiator and Prometheus, but what is Prometheus and Gladiator put together? Tales of the Sword Coast that's what.

Producer - Peter Jackson: You cannot have a good fantasy film without Jackson on board.
Executive Producer - Steven Spielberg: Chances are, we will never have a good video-game movie if Spielberg isn't on board.
Executive Producer - Tim Burton: Give it that edgy yet fantasty feel.

The Ward - Jay Baruchel: I'm sorry, but I cannot have an 18 year old actor whose only roles have been Disney crap in a movie like this. 30 or not, he still looks like 22 and could probably do very well in a movie like this. If he is in RoboCop he has a right to have a role in this as well, whether or not its the role of The Ward.

Gorion - Ian Lee: We aren't going for Gandalf, we're going for Saruman.

Sarevok - Dwayne Johnson: The only good part of Doom, was how Johnson pulled off an antagonist attitude, other than that, all of it (even HIS acting) was bad. If he had the chance to continue that trend in the Curse of Shazam, I would love to see him here. After all, isn't he the only guy in Hollywood that can actually pick somebody up without the use of a stunt double?

Tamoko - Rosamund Pike: You need somebody whose been a Bond movie to play this shitty role.

Jaheira - Sandra Bullock: Age isn't the problem, that Reynolds movie proved that, who the hell is going to play Khalid is. Wanna know why? Look below.

Khalid - George Clooney: Lets GO BAT-NIPPLES LETS GO! WOO! WOO!

Bodhi - Mariah Carey: For somebody whose 1000 years old, you need somebody of the same age... right?

Trent Oster - Samuel L. Jackson: I feel that this would work. I don't know, every movie has L. Jackson playing a role that he shouldn't play, but still does and still pulls it off.
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Comments

  • TalvraeTalvrae Member Posts: 315
    Knight12ify said:

    Director - Uwe Boll: Fantastic, fantastic director. I really think he could pull this

    Really??? Have fell on your head?
  • catheraainecatheraaine Member Posts: 52
    What about MINSC?! Channing Tatum!

    And The Ward - Female, Emma Stone.
  • WardWard Member Posts: 1,305
    edited July 2012
    I lol'd @ George Cloony as Khalid.

    I lol'd @ Samuel L. Jackson as Trent Oster.
  • ZafiroZafiro Member Posts: 436
    Whats a "Prometheus"? I think of American Gangster.
  • TulimyrskyTulimyrsky Member Posts: 17
    catheraaine said:

    What about MINSC?! Channing Tatum!

    And The Ward - Female, Emma Stone.

    I would put Emma Stone as Imoen. Red hair, suitable personality, great actress.
  • SuiboonSuiboon Member Posts: 86
    Director: James Cameron - why not, if we're talking about living directors that could pull it off, he comes to mind after 20 seconds of deep thinking

    Producers: whoever has money and won't hinder the creative process

    Protagonist: male - Michael Fassbender (young enough, great actor), female - I don't know... Eliza Dushku?

    Gorion - Ian Mckellen - old enough, gray enough, actor enough
    Imoen - Emma Stone (cause someone else recommended her already)
    Minsc - Vin Diesel, he's bald... has muscles... and the lines won't be that complicated
    Jaheira - Uma Thurman - seems the right age, and can act like a bitch
    Khalid - Steve Buscemi - why not
    Edwin - Edward Norton ... oh yes, that would be great. Not to mention he kinda looks like Edwin already, imo. And even the first names fit. Edwin and Edward.
    Montaron - Peter Dinklage - the hot dwarf in town, also male, so, I'll say him!
    Xzar - Seth Green? Maybe not the best choice but I'll go with him for now
    Sarevok - Vin Diesel again? Damnit.
    Eldoth - Robert Downey Jr. - I see the connection
    Hull - Bruce Willis
    Elminster - Christopher Lee - standard wise old guy role
    Dynaheir - Halle Berry... can't think of anyone else
    Safana - Anne Hathaway - no comment
    Kivan - Christian Bale ... just think of the Batman voice
    Coran - Daniel Day-Lewis ... I hope he gets a lot of screentime
    Xan - Jim Carrey, because I couldn't come up with anyone better
    Tiax - Elijah Wood with some make-up
    Kagain - John Rhys-Davies ... has experience playing dwarves
    Yeslick - Brendan Gleeson, he has the physique and the accent
    Ajantis - Matt Damon - I guess he could pull of this role
    Alora - Jodie Foster - miscast, but whatcha gonna do
    Branwen - Uma Thurman - warrior priestess, yes, maybe fatten her up a bit before
    Faldorn - Winona Ryder - no comment.
    Garrick - Ryan Kwanten - well, I have a feeling he could do great with this role...
    Skie - Jennifer Carpenter - ok why not
    Shar-Teel - Gwendoline Christie ... Game of Thrones is a good indicator
    Viconia - Gabrielle Union - I have no idea... but I saw her picture and she could maybe pull it off?
    Bodhi - Oprah. No comment.
    Irenicus - David Warner ... well... yes

    Well this is obviously not a complete list. And probably not that well thought-out. But I hope it amuses someone.
  • WinthalWinthal Member Posts: 366
    this thread seems legit
  • bgplayabgplaya Member Posts: 129
    @suiboon

    You left out such a key role...

    Who plays the guy who says 'You must gather your party before venturing forth?'


    But I'd still pay to see it for Oprah as Bodhi, and Seth Green as Xzar
  • etaglocetagloc Member Posts: 349
    edited July 2012
    samuel l jackson as the ward
    "IM TIRED OF ALL THESE MOTHERFUCKING BAALSPAWNS ON THIS MOTHERFUCKING PLANE"
    trolololo >plane<
  • ArndasArndas Member Posts: 42
    bgplaya said:

    @suiboon

    You left out such a key role...

    Who plays the guy who says 'You must gather your party before venturing forth?'


    But I'd still pay to see it for Oprah as Bodhi, and Seth Green as Xzar


    Oh dear... I can always hear that one voice in my head because of bad path-finding. Good one though. Need someone to do that. Seth MacFarlane should do it, or Mike Henry.
  • mch202mch202 Member Posts: 1,455
    who plays boo???
  • JolanthusJolanthus Member Posts: 292
    Boo is played by the animated hamster from Bolt.
  • WinthalWinthal Member Posts: 366
    mch202 said:

    who plays boo???

    @mch202 The obvious choice. (technically not a hamster, but I'm confident he can pull it off with a little make-up and last-minute plastic surgery)



  • mch202mch202 Member Posts: 1,455
    edited July 2012
    @Winthal

    not him again.... !! although he sure does look like one who is going to charge for the eyes
  • seekaseeka Member Posts: 53
    Where the fun *really* comes in, who would play Anomen? =P I did not see him mentioned yet for some odd reason... Keanu Reeves, maybe? Perhaps Tom Cruise? Tom Cruise did have that epic moment on Oprah's show where he jumped all over the couch and genereally acted a hot mess.

  • CheesebellyCheesebelly Member Posts: 1,727
    Keldorn = Tom Selleck. That's my pick.
  • GarmGarm Member Posts: 67
    edited July 2012
    Actually I don't think the BG series would work as a movie. A film using the plot of BG1 would seem like a generic fantasy/adventure movie and besides the story takes too long to develop (they would have to cut some relevant parts).

    The plot of BG2 is too dark and honestly not very movie-friendly.
  • drawnacroldrawnacrol Member Posts: 253
    I think the cut scene when you enter the Promenade in BGII CH2 would be epic as a short film! Mainly because Irenicus being a badass.
  • bgplayabgplaya Member Posts: 129
    @HardKorePanda

    I vote Morgan Freeman. He narrates everything.
  • SirBuliwyfSirBuliwyf Member Posts: 137
    bgplaya said:

    @HardKorePanda

    I vote Morgan Freeman. He narrates everything.

    I can actually hear him saying that line.. and it sounds right.

  • WinthalWinthal Member Posts: 366
    seeka said:

    Where the fun *really* comes in, who would play Anomen? =P I did not see him mentioned yet for some odd reason... Keanu Reeves, maybe? Perhaps Tom Cruise? Tom Cruise did have that epic moment on Oprah's show where he jumped all over the couch and genereally acted a hot mess.

    @seeka Kermit the frog, he has the right voice for it, and if you squint your eyes really hard, they even look alike, try it it's eerie!
  • Knight12ifyKnight12ify Member Posts: 23
    Well this thread was started as a joke, but I can see a lot of love in here for Samuel L. Jackson. I think we should start a petition to get him to play Trent Oster, who in the film can be the equivalent of Edwin, since I never found Edwin necessary.

    But c'mon! This would totally work as a movie if you leave out all the sidequests, you could have a good movie, unlike the piece of shit that was The Elemental Might. Movie story: The Ward is told to leav ehome by his adopted dad, the two set out, daddy dies, we go spider-man here, he finds Jaheira, makes her cheat and boom bitch! You fight Sarevok, he wins, the two offer to join forces and boom! No.
  • SirBuliwyfSirBuliwyf Member Posts: 137
    One thing that can be certain, 99% of people will not be happy with whomever is cast as the Ward...
  • bgplayabgplaya Member Posts: 129
    @Knight12ify

    Edwin...Not necessary?!?!?!

    Blasphemy!!!!!!!
  • SirrionSirrion Member Posts: 20
    silkie - imelda staunton

    kinda wrong body shape i guess, but as far as acting goes, something along the lines of what she did in harry potter

    i also strangely want the guy playing Joffrey in game of thrones to play a role, maybe the guy wanting you to wash his golden pantaloons
  • oldsch00loldsch00l Member, Translator (NDA) Posts: 192
    Looking how they did the job with Game of Thrones, BG should be a TV show rather than a movie. Multiple characters, subplots and side stories. It would take 3, 4 seasons ? :-p
  • MilesBeyondMilesBeyond Member Posts: 324
    Man, Uma Thurmin as Jaheira and Ed Norton as Edwin were both fantastic ideas. Now that I've seen it that way, I can't see anyone else playing them.
  • Knight12ifyKnight12ify Member Posts: 23
    bgplaya said:

    @Knight12ify

    Edwin...Not necessary?!?!?!

    Blasphemy!!!!!!!

    Take Edwin, Faldorn, Ajantis and Alora out of the movie and you've got a decent movie. I don't care how fan loved the characters are or how "important" they are, but that's what it takes. Sure there'll be fan backlash with nerds going "BOYCOTT BOYCOTT BOYCOTT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!", but that's what it takes.
  • KhyronKhyron Member Posts: 627
    Valygar - Jason Momoa
    Minsc - That guy who played the big Austrian dude in "Son of the Beach"
    Irenicus - Patrick Stewart
    Keldorn - Sean Connery, 20 years ago.. or that dude who played Qui Gon Jin
    Edwin - Robert Downey Jr
    Viconia - Kate Beckinsale.
    Jaheira - Uma Thurman, as suggested somewhere above.
    Imoen - Emma Stone? Very difficult this one..
    Korgan - That guy who played Gimli in lotr.
    Elminster - Ian McKellen
    Tiax - Jim Carrey
    Sarevok - Vin Diesel (I even think the in-game pic looks like him.. and the voice.. the VOICE!)
    Yoshimo - Jet Li? Hell I dunno
    Branwen - That woman who's playing that HUGE lass in Game of Thrones, Catherine Stark's ally.
    Xzar - Sasha Baron Cohen


    Oh look, it's stupid o' clock and I'm sitting here comming up with names.. Good night!
  • DazzuDazzu Member Posts: 950
    Movie story: The Ward is told to leav ehome by his adopted dad, the two set out, daddy dies, we go spider-man here, he finds Jaheira, makes her cheat and boom bitch! You fight Sarevok, he wins, the two offer to join forces and boom! No.
    Sounds like the "plot" of the 'novels'.
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