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Plotbreaker and Friends

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  • enqenqenqenq Member Posts: 497

    Surge of faith

    Sarevok: BALTHAZAR!
    Sarevok: Face me now in single combat!
    DM: He has no interest in doing so. He throws soldiers at you and retreats to the safety of his monastery.
    Sendany: Of course.
    Sendany: That's going to be fun to break into.
    DM: Uh...
    Luna: Perhaps one of the locals-
    DM: Um-
    Yoshimo: Surely he is not a popular ruler. I agree, we should ask the locals.
    DM: UM-
    Sarevok: Storm the front, I say!
    Sendany: Of course you do.
    DM: UM!
    DM: Yes, Balthazar's soldiers should prove a trivial challenge, but you still need to deal with them before you discuss your next move.
    Sandra: Oh.
    Johnny: Right.

    Peter: And by the way, like the whole town has been alerted to your presence, so good luck being sneaky.
    Johnny: Ha.
    Sandra: Ha you.
    Johnny: We will do things Sarevok's way.
    Sandra: It's mindboggling how his mental stats are so different from Minsc's.
    Sandra: The way you're playing him, anyway.
    Andy: Word.
    Andy: Bet you were about to call that squirrel Boo.
    Johnny: Oh okay, let's go there.
    Johnny: How is it a faithless cleric can cast spells at full strength?
    Sandra: Who are you calling faithless?
    Johnny: Luna.
    Johnny: I mean, I already mentioned she only arguably fits Selûne to begin with.
    Sandra: Yeah so what, she can draw strength from an ideal.
    Johnny: Bahaha, an ideal? What IDEAL does Luna have?
    Sandra: Well-
    Sandra: She.
    Sandra: Luna is-
    Sandra: WELL.
    David: Hahaha.
    Sandra: Luna believes firmly in justice!
    Johnny: Oh yeah, then she should turn herself over to the Helmites.
    Sandra: ONE LITTLE LAPSE IN JUDGMENT!
    Johnny: A lapse in judgment is an impulsive mistake.
    Johnny: There's nothing impulsive about marching for days fully aware you're about to kill paladins and aid a demon, all to help create a god of chocolate.
    Johnny: Not really a greater good case.
    David: JJ, I take back all reservations I had about you joining us.
    Sandra: Shuuuut uuuuup.
    Sandra: Luna only WALKED.
    Johnny: Inaction is the greatest evil.
    Sandra: ...
    Sandra: Luna believes firmly in chocolate.
    Johnny: Well, I think we all believe in chocolate. We've seen physical evidence of it. Can Sarevok have thirty-or-so levels of cleric, please?
    Sandra: JJ don't push me.
    Johnny: You started it.
    Peter: He's right.
    Peter: I'm taking some memo slots away. Let's say-
    Sandra: WHAT.
    Sandra: You can't just, can't just...
    Peter: Can't change things on the fly based on player input? I have to permit that when I'm a DM, else all my fun will get cockblocked when I'm playing.
    David: Word.
    Sandra: BUT LUNA IS A CHAMPION OF GOOD!
    Peter: Luna is a champion of amnesia at best.
    David: Hahaha.
    Sandra: She OPPOSED Caves!
    Peter: Well. Luna has opposed pretty much every friend of Tepp's, so-
    Sandra: With violence.
    Peter: Yeah, yeah, I know, and if not for that, I Would have taken even more slots.
    Peter: But if Luna's ideal is justice, then her heart should be overwhelmed with guilt.
    Peter: So yeah, if you want to stop sucking, show me conviction.
    Sandra: Grrr.
    Sandra: All those heals that disappeared had Sarevok's name on them.
    Johnny: So unprofessional.
    Sandra: I believe firmly in my quest to spite you.

    DM: You fight your way to the gates of the monastery, but find them firmly locked.
    Sarevok: Two thieves...
    Sendany: There's no lock on this gate.
    Yoshimo: Quite so.
    Sarevok: Useless!
    Luna: Is there no other way in?
    Sarevok: No.
    Luna: Well...

    Andy: HEY!
    Andy: I know what's happening here.
    Andy: Greater Knock drama... Ring of the Ram... Staff of the Ram...
    Andy: Tepp is going to appear and open a plot significant door!
    Peter: Wow.
    Peter: Sandra, you gotta let him get drunk more often. He becomes a genius when he sobers up.
    Sandra: Mmm...
    Johnny: Ha. Let him? So whipped.
    Andy: Bro don't change the subject.
    Peter: I only call someone a genius when they think of something I didn't think of myself.
    Peter: Anyway... I think convenient Dimension Door abuse has saved you guys enough times as it is.
    Peter: Tepp might open it for you if you find him... and knowing Tymora's curse still burdened him last you saw him, who knows where he is now?
    Andy: Perhaps reunited with one of the discarded Kangaxx limbs.
    David: I know you dumped them in remote and unfriendly places, but I still don't think he would consider it bad luck to end up with one of them.
    Peter: Kangaxx...
    Peter: Well, anyway, I totally forgot about the staff on the author's behalf. Good job making it look like he had a plan, Andy.
    Andy: It could also be used for colonoscopic malpractice.
    Peter: ...
    Peter: I wouldn't wish that even upon my worst enemy.

    Sendany: We could scale the cliff.
    Sarevok: Idiot.
    Sendany: Brute.
    Sarevok: Broad daylight, no tools, scores of mercenaries training their arrows at us.
    Sarevok: You go first.
    Sendany: Oh sure, let's kill them all then.
    Sarevok: YES.
    Luna: No, I...
    Luna: I can't fight all those and hope to have strength left to face Balthazar.
    Sarevok: Weakling.
    Sarevok: I am the god of murder incarnate. Feel my unholy wrath.

    DM: You decimate the ranks of Balthazar's mercenaries, but his monks and the Bhaalspawn himself are unspent behind the gates of the monastery.
    DM: Luna is exhausted... and you have come no closer to entering.
    Sarevok: ARGH!
    Sarevok: FACE ME, COWARD!
    Sendany: He can't hear you.
    Sarevok: Grrr.
    Sarevok: We could simply lay siege to the monastery.
    Sendany: Um, not really.
    Sarevok: We control the village.
    Sendany: Yeah, we're kings of sand.
    Sendany: At our best, we could probably put up a fight against Balthazar. But we're already half spent, and you want us to manage a siege with only four people, and Helmites scouring the land looking for us?
    Sarevok: Hmmm.
    Yoshimo: We could simply leave. There's no need to play by his rules.
    Sendany: Balthazar's forces are crippled and in disarray, and the Helmites are... at least not here.
    Sendany: Leaving would only give them time to formally ally against us.
    Yoshimo: But we will lose a war of attrition remaining here.
    Luna: This is our best chance to quell Bhaal's foul legacy for good.
    Luna: We MUST try.
    Sarevok: You have our objectives wrong.
    Luna: Have I.
    DM: You are approached by a vaguely familiar face...

    Saemon Havarian: I could get you into the monastery.
    Sendany: Um no.
    Luna: How?
    Sendany: Just no.
    Sarevok: Quiet.
    Saemon Havarian: As an experienced smuggler-
    Sendany: You're going to betray us.
    Saemon Havarian: It wounds me that you would say so.
    Sendany: Oh yeah, you gave us the Silver Blade just to save your own skin.
    Saemon Havarian: You attacked me in the street, poisoned me on my own ship and then tried to drown me.
    Sendany: Because you were going to betray us.
    Saemon Havarian: This is a strange situation for someone who can so confidently predict the future to be in.
    Sendany: You should have known better than to approach us outside default plot circumstances.

    Andy: I attack the bastard.
    Johnny: Oh yes let's do that.
    Johnny: No DDI to save him now.
    Luna: DDI?
    Johnny: Dialogue Diplomatic Immunity.
    Luna: Huh.
    David: The supernerds who have played the game a million times have these terms...
    Peter: I think only JJ has that term.
    Peter: Then again, he has played the game probably more than the rest of us combined.
    Peter: ESPECIALLY during work hours.
    Johnny: Dude Ironman Challenges.
    Peter: You're designed by an author whose finest teenage memory is raging on the PlanetBaldursGate forums about roleplayers making fun of his 3 int cavalier which he so proudly recommended others play.
    Peter: Much like Sarevok, giving in to your instincts cost you dearly.
    Johnny: Okay so yeah mind flayers weren't fun, can I kill Saemon now?

    Luna: NO.
    Sendany: Luna-
    Luna: NOT A CHANCE. Saemon, run.
    Saemon Havarian: This is all a big misunderstanding.
    Sendany: ...
    Sarevok: Out of my way.
    Luna: I will not permit another murder. Nowhere, nohow.
    Luna: Control yourself, Sarevok.

    Sandra: And stop metagaming for fuck's sake.
    David: Word.
    Johnny: *sob*
    Johnny: Can't I ever get to kill the bastard??
    Peter: Write your own fan fiction or something.
    Johnny: Dude.
    Andy: Okay fine, Saemon lives.
    Andy: Surely not refusing to run because Balthazar has coerced him to deliver us or anything...
    Johnny: Fuck this.
    Johnny: Sarevok charges the cliff and climbs it furiously.

    DM: Sarevok succeeds in his reckless endeavor, but Sendany and Yoshimo aren't far behind. They help Luna up, which takes some time, during which Sarevok cuts his way into the monastery.
    DM: As the rest of you catch up, he has already thrown himself into a hopeless battle against Balthazar and the best of his followers.
    DM: The last two major Bhaalspawn, locked in combat. You could be tactical about this...
    Sendany: Let them wear each other down.
    Sendany: We don't want either of them to win.
    Luna: The devil you know, Sendy. And they're not wearing each other down. Sarevok is losing.
    Luna: To his side.
    DM: You are weary, but your combined efforts bring hope of victory.
    DM: Luna cannot hope to keep healing for much longer, however...

    Sandra: Didn't I show you any conviction.
    Sandra: I wouldn't permit Saemon to be murdered.
    Peter: Um, you are in Amkethran with every intention of murdering Balthazar, so don't try to play that card.
    Peter: In fact, it's what you're trying to do right now.
    Sandra: *sigh*
    Sandra: Greater good?
    Peter: I'm not discussing every little nuance worth one level one memo back and forth.
    Sandra: Meh.

    Andy: Hey guys.
    Andy: What do you call it when you haggle over prices in a temple to Amaunator?
    David: Uh...
    Peter: Eh.
    Sandra: Is this you making sure to get a song wrong in this campaign too, before it ends?
    Andy: Yeah.
    Andy: Waukeen on sunshine!
    Peter: Hahaha. Oh Andy, you may yet outdo me.
    Johnny: I doubt it.
    David: Okay, don't we have a Balthazar to worry about?
    Peter: Yeah.

    DM: The battle is fierce, and your swings find purchase time and time again.
    DM: Yet Balthazar and his monks are no worse, and they have superior numbers.
    DM: Between potions and deft maneuvers, you keep Kelemvor waiting just a little longer.
    DM: Balthazar uses his lunar stance.

    Johnny: Even Balthazar has more favor from Selûne than Luna does, and he's LE.
    David: Hahaha.
    Sandra: Fuck you both.
    Sandra: Come up with ideas instead of stupid jokes.
    Johnny: She's right, we shouldn't be such asses.
    David: Indeed.
    Johnny: Don't wanna show the priestess of Selûne a full moon... oh wait.
    David: Hahahaha.
    Sandra: GRRRRRRR.

    DM: You have slain some of Balthazar's finest, but the Bhaalspawn stands strong.
    DM: Triage is only possible when healing is available to some degree... and it no longer is.
    DM: The gravity of your situation has registered among all of you, except Sarevok.
    David: Yoshimo flees.
    DM: Just flees?
    David: Yeah, no dancing on the heads of any pins on the way out.
    DM: Right.
    DM: Yoshimo triggers a trap and dies.
    David: Oh fuck.

    Sandra: ...
    Sandra: Andy, are you gonna run too?
    Andy: Sendany was moved by Luna's sense of responsibility earlier. He will not run unless she does, and he will not try to convince her to.
    Sandra: Well...
    Sandra: We're kinda falling on the finish line here.
    Johnny: Finish line? This? How dumb are you?
    Peter: JJ, she hasn't played the game.
    Johnny: Oh what a rare specimen.
    Johnny: Well, after this there's obviously Amelyssan, and then-
    Sandra: Amelywho?
    Johnny: Amelyssan. Known to you as Melissan.
    Sandra: Eh...
    Sandra: That stupid bitch we met in Saradush and then never again?
    Andy: Uh...
    David: Well...
    Johnny: Mmm...
    Peter: ...yes, pretty much.
    Sandra: Peter.
    Peter: I don't like that tone...
    Andy: You shouldn't.
    Peter: I know all too well.
    Sandra: Peter.
    Sandra: Come with me.

    Sandra drags Peter upstairs, by the ear.

    Sandra: You have some things to answer for.
    Peter: Like what.
    Sandra: Like the fucking lack of foreshadowing.
    Sandra: I'm pretty sure in the original campaign you meet that bitch more than once.
    Peter: You met her twice-
    Sandra: FOR ALL I KNEW THIS STUPID BITCH WITH SOME FUNNY BHAALSPAWN KNOWLEDGE DIED WHEN SARADUSH FELL.
    Sandra: Now she's ALIVE and secretly our next encounter.
    Sandra: You didn't need to foreshadow her for the others. They expected it. For me, this is fucking lame.
    Peter: OKAY OKAY point conceded.
    Sandra: Furthermore.
    Peter: There's no furthermore.
    Sandra: Yes there is.
    Sandra: Luna is Gorion's Ward.
    Peter: Shhh!
    Sandra: Oh come on, everyone has figured it out by now.
    Peter: I think someone might not have.
    Sandra: This means, all this time she has been a Bhaalspawn. All this time, the essence of murder has been her instinct, but she has resisted it.
    Sandra: She has resisted it fucking well.
    Peter: You can't just make this up now-
    Sandra: I fucking can. Your entire keeping it a secret relied on all three of us accepting that we had to make our characters work whether we were Gorion's Ward or not.
    Sandra: I could have just demanded to know so that I could play Luna in a way more satisfying fashion, not having to leave her background so vague.
    Sandra: I put up with that. Now I decide she has resisted it all this time. It is the consequence of your game with David.
    Peter: Okay, AND?
    Sandra: Luna has resisted the taint fucking well. She hasn't been a saint, but she has helped more than she has harmed.
    Sandra: Her conviction is to not let the essence decide who she is.
    Sandra: And she has managed that fucking well.
    Sandra: She HAS an ideal.
    Peter: ...
    Sandra: When we return to the table, Luna will have A LOT of memos available, or I am making a huge deal of the two things we just discussed.

    They return.

    Peter: ...
    Peter: So, Luna has had a surge of faith, so to speak.
    David: So to speak?
    Johnny: Dude lame.
    Peter: I cannot reveal it-
    Johnny: What did she bribe you with?
    Sandra: Threaten.
    Peter: Indeed.
    Peter: You'll have to take my word that her arguments were very good, and entirely related to the campaign.
    David: Your word...
    Peter: Tepp lies. I do not.
    David: Fair enough.
    Peter: In fact, David and Andy, you could probably figure it out anyway.
    Johnny: Why not me dude? I know this game better than the rest of you combined.
    Peter: Well, if that is true and you have read up-
    Johnny: Dude I have.
    Peter: -you should be equally able to figure it out.
    Peter: Just read the episode later if not.
    Peter: Luna has a lot of memos available again... filled up, of course.

    DM: Luna's previously dim light becomes a shining beacon, and her magic turns the tide of battle.
    DM: With no need for caution, Sendany expertly distracts Balthazar's guards so that Sarevok can strike them down cleanly.
    DM: The Bhaalspawn himself fights to the last... but he falls.
    Sarevok: VICTORY!

    Sandra: Okay, so let's resurrect Yoshimo and then-
    Johnny: Haha, no.
    Johnny: Pocket Plane.
    Johnny: Do I have to go through any lame solar crap? No? Good.
    Johnny: Here's the deal. I know there are certain disagreements between Sarevok and the two of you. And old allegiances that he does not approve of.
    Johnny: Sandra, you probably don't know this either, but when Sarevok asks to join the party, it's possible to make him swear a binding oath not to turn upon it. As powerful as a geas.
    Johnny: This is possible because of the magic of the Pocket Plane.
    Johnny: Only now that plane belongs to Sarevok, so he could make YOU swear such oaths.
    Andy: Aww.
    Sandra: And what if we don't?
    Johnny: If you don't? Then the end of the saga is beyond your influence.
    Johnny: Sarevok will see it through alone. And you will have no say in who stands victorious.
    Johnny: It may not be someone who likes the two of you, though...
    Johnny: Oh, and you might entertain some unlikely hope of stopping any kind of ascension... Sarevok can't stop you from hoping.
    Johnny: So what say you? Will you take the oath or will Sarevok banish you from the plane?
    Sandra: So what, you go to face Amelyssan alone if we don't aid you?
    Johnny: Rather than than having you aid her. I know you don't like Sarevok, and I'm not about to convince you that Amelyssan is worse. And the third option you know yourselves.
    Sandra: Eh, is option three that bad?
    Johnny: What, you haven't figured it out? You should really aid Sarevok just to see the intended ending here.
    Peter: You're such a moron.
    Johnny: I'm onto you.

    Luna: Fine. I swear not to strike you, Sarevok.
    Sarevok: Not good enough. Swear not to aid my enemies.
    Luna: I swear not to aid your enemies.
    Sarevok: Swear you will aid me to the best of your abilities.
    Luna: Go fuck yourself. This is as much of an oath as you're getting.
    Sarevok: ...
    Sarevok: Fine. Sendany.
    Sendany: I don't think so.
    Sarevok: Will you be parted from Luna?
    Sendany: ...
    Sendany: I swear not to cause you harm through my blade.
    Sarevok: Don't try to weasel your way around. No harm at all.
    Sendany: I swear not to cause you harm by means of any physical weapon.
    Sarevok: ...
    Sarevok: No wands, thief.
    Sendany: Nor through wands.
    Sarevok: No scrolls.
    Sendany: Nor through scrolls.
    Sarevok: And no traps or potions.
    Sendany: UGH!
    Sendany: No traps or potions.
    Sarevok: No funky charged enchanted items.
    Sendany: No funky charged enchanted items.
    Sarevok: No summons.
    Sendany: No summons.
    Sarevok: No spells.
    Sendany: I don't KNOW any spells. Destiny awaits, lunatic.
    Sarevok: Ahh.
    Sarevok: Indeed it does.

    CrevsDaakJuliusBorisov
  • enqenqenqenq Member Posts: 497
    I just saw this and now I'm so damn sad I didn't think of it myself.

    image

    CrevsDaakJuliusBorisov
  • enqenqenqenq Member Posts: 497
    edited August 2015

    Throne of Blood

    DM: To make up for lack of exposition...
    DM: You stand before Amelyssan the Blackhearted, high priestess of Bhaal.
    DM: Entrusted with the secrets of his resurrection, yet with no intent of performing them. She is here only to claim all the divine essence for herself.
    DM: The gods will not interfere. This is a contest of mortals.

    Amelyssan: Ah, Sarevok. You have been instrumental to my plans.
    Amelyssan: To return and reclaim your destiny, it is no small feat. Yet...
    Sarevok: Still your tongue and pray to Cyric while you can.
    Sarevok: What aspiring goddess of murder would connive her way to victory! I've painted the land red with blood, twice!
    Sarevok: And for all your magic, I don't expect yours to have any other color.
    Amelyssan: Doom await thee, Bhaalspawn.

    DM: Battle is joined. Sarevok charges, but Amelyssan is of a tactical mind. She calls demons to her side, but the furious deathbringer ignores them in his maddened rage.
    DM: Luna is able to keep Sarevok alive, and Sendany keeps him from becoming completely surrounded.
    DM: It is costly, but it earns you victory.
    Sandra: Uh, already?
    DM: Amelyssan retreats to the essence font, drawing upon more of Bhaal's energy to empower and restore her.
    DM: You must sever the link.

    Sarevok: COWARD!
    DM: Sarevok cuts down the remaining demons, then charges towards the active essence battery.
    Luna: Sarevok!
    Sendany: We're not oathbound to do everything to make him win.
    Luna: I'd sooner risk him winning than Amelyssan.
    Luna: He hasn't called upon demons...
    Sendany: Very well.
    DM: Luna and Sendany catch up, and together you defeat the guardians. The link is severed, and Amelyssan is forced to do battle once more.

    Amelyssan: What god of murder would cheat death! Die, abomination!
    Andy: Um, I'm pretty sure cheating death is what Bhaal tried to do all along...
    David: Word.
    Peter: Oh yeah because she's totally trying to bring Bhaal back. You nitpicked nothing, now shut up.
    DM: Sword and spear meet in bloody contest once more, and Amelyssan again calls upon the Lower Planes to aid her.
    DM: Sarevok does what he always does, going after the high priestess at any cost.
    DM: It is all Luna and Sendany can do to keep him from being overwhelmed.
    DM: Yet, he is victorious, and Amelyssan again retreats.

    Sandra: How many times is she gonna do that?
    Johnny: Till we sever all the links.
    Sandra: So once more after this? Sarevok is gonna get himself killed.
    Johnny: Sarevok will TRIUMPH.
    Johnny: And if you're low on spells, we brought a solution.
    Andy: Saving it for now, but popping the elixir.

    DM: Sarevok again charges for the guardians, and the rest of you struggle to keep up.
    DM: Another costly victory is yours. You are weary, yet Amelyssan is brimming with energy.
    DM: Sarevok's assault continues unabated, even in the face of the nightmares made flesh Amelyssan summons to aid her.
    DM: Luna is stretched thin trying to keep Sarevok alive, and there are enough demons to both hold Sendany back and leave Sarevok surrounded.
    DM: Still, Amelyssan has to retreat. You narrowly defeat her demons, but the thought of facing her again drains you of hope.
    DM: Undaunted, Sarevok rushes to fight the last of her guardians.

    Luna: There's no... no chance.
    Luna: I can't keep up.
    Sendany: Keep going.
    Luna: But how...

    DM: You slay the final guardians, but Sendany and Luna are tired and wounded. Sarevok knows no exhaustion, nor does he acknowledge any injury, but he is close to death.
    DM: Amelyssan has again drunk deep of Bhaal's essence. The Throne of Blood tries to pull you to her once more, but she holds that magic off, a strange mercy that you do not think you should appreciate.
    DM: She taunts you.
    Amelyssan: All brawn, no brain, Sarevok.
    Amelyssan: God of murder, you? You cannot plan anything. My schemes have all led to this. The three of you at my mercy.
    Amelyssan: If you'll wait there rather than contest me, you may die to a goddess. My ascension awaits, you poor fools.
    Sarevok: YOU are not of Bhaal's blood.
    Sarevok: YOU are a cowardly conniver.
    Sarevok: I have slaughtered and butchered and murdered my way here.
    Sarevok: YOU may be Bhaal's high priestess, but I am the god of murder incarnate.
    Sarevok: The essence is MINE.

    DM: Through willpower and divine heritage, Sarevok calls upon the essence scattered throughout the plane, healing him and raising his strength to 25.
    DM: With impossible speed, he leaps across and strikes Amelyssan with divine fury.
    DM: The high priestess, while more powerful than ever, is terrified of Sarevok.
    DM: She calls upon demon after demon, but Sarevok either ignores them or strikes them down as pure collateral.
    DM: Amelyssan uses Harm, but misses Sarevok. She may yet try again.

    Andy: *scribbles a note*
    (Will you make my Wish negotiation happen in one round?)
    Peter: *scribbles a note*
    (Yeah. Why?)
    Andy: *scribbles a note*
    (In that case, I wish to take the following actions...)
    Peter: *scribbles a note, wipes his eyes on it, then scribbles a new one*
    (BEAUTIFUL.)

    Johnny: Hey stop wasting time.
    Johnny: SAREVOK IS WINNING.
    Andy: Hehe.
    Johnny: No hehe. Stay focused. Fuck knows how the last battle will be.
    Peter: Yeah...

    Luna: We can't even help him...
    Luna: Or hinder him.
    Sendany: He's not that far away.
    Luna: Heh.
    Luna: I think sling and bow are a little insignificant by now.
    Sendany: When you're on the brink of death, everything is significant.

    DM: Amelyssan's demons have all fallen...
    DM: But a Harm spell finally lands!
    DM: Almost with her dying breath, however. Sarevok can taste victory and keeps raining blows upon her.
    DM: Amelyssan falls.
    Johnny: HA!
    Sendany: Luna, join me in the warcry.
    Luna: Eh?
    Sendany: Colonoscopic...
    Luna: ...malpractice?
    Sendany: I would have liked a little more enthusiasm, but it'll do.

    Andy: Magic Missile.
    Andy: On Sarevok.
    Johnny: Nice try dude.
    Johnny: No scrolls. The geas should kill you just for trying.
    Andy: It wasn't a scroll.
    Johnny: ...
    Johnny: Dude no wands either.
    Andy: No wand.
    Andy: Sarevok has 1 health, no regeneration and no magic resistance.
    Johnny: Dude you can't cast it.
    Peter: He can.
    Johnny: DUDE.
    Johnny: DUDE HOW.
    Johnny: AND DUDE WHY HERE DUDE DUDE.
    Johnny: NOW YOU RUINED THE PLOT DUDE.
    Peter: He didn't ruin anything. Shall we start with the how or the why?
    Johnny: DUUUUDE SAREVOK WAS GONNA WIN THIS SHIT.

    Peter: Okay, the how.
    Peter: Sendany dual specced to mage, picked Magic Missile, memorized it, and then wished for his spells to be restored.
    Johnny: DUUUUUUUUUUDE.
    Johnny: DUDE YOUR INT? ENOUGH FOR MAGE? NOT FORESHADOWED!
    David: Um, it was established that he has more than Sarevok, and Sarevok has 17, so yeah.
    Peter: And I told him to dual spec to mage several times, even before giving him the bonus from Lum the Mad's machine.
    Johnny: BUT DUDE.
    Johnny: DUDE WHAT THE FUCK YOU RUINED EVERYTHING.
    Peter: Sarevok got killed by a level 1 mage.
    Andy: With colonoscopic malpractice.
    Peter: BAHAHA.
    Andy: Hehe.
    Johnny: DUDE.
    Andy: Seems he is a bottom guy after all.
    Johnny: DUDE SHUT UP DUDE WHY.
    Andy: What, isn't it obvious Sendany likes Luna a thousand times more than he likes Sarevok?
    Johnny: DUDE LUNA ISN'T GORION'S WARD TEPP IS.

    David: What.
    Johnny: DUDE.
    Johnny: DUDE I PROMISE IT'S TEPP NOW UNCAST THAT FUCKING SPELL.
    David: The note said Luna, and quite frankly there was no other candidate after Sendany died.
    Johnny: DUDE BROTHER AGAINST BROTHER, BOTH IN AND OUT OF CHARACTER.
    Johnny: TEPP IS MYSTERIOUSLY GONE AND WILL REAPPEAR FOR A FINAL BATTLE DUDE.
    Peter: Is anyone going to say we didn't tell him enough times to read the old campaigns?
    Johnny: DUDE I READ THEM.
    Peter: Watcher's Keep, level 3 in particular.
    Johnny: I READ.
    Peter: Remember the part where Luna tried to leave the party, and I bent over backwards to make her stay?
    Johnny: DUDE WHO CARES.
    Peter: Remember the part where Tepp DID leave the party?
    Johnny: DUDE MAKE THE SPELL FAIL.
    Peter: If you have a party and you wish to play alone, do you...
    Johnny: DUUUDE.
    Peter: Gorion's Ward cannot leave the party, moron. Gorion's Ward has to kick everyone else if they want to be alone, and-
    Johnny: DUDE.
    Peter: -I explicitly said Tepp leaves the party.
    Johnny: DUDE I PLAY CUSTOM PARTIES I DON'T LEARN THIS SHIT.
    Peter: Mister "I play custom parties" still knew an exact dialogue between Sarevok and Nalia.
    David: Word.
    Johnny: DUDE.
    Sandra: Also like, we knew the campaign would have 14 episodes.
    Johnny: DUDE.
    Sandra: Don't you think your imaginary brother against brother fight would have had its own?
    Johnny: Dude.
    Johnny: *crying*
    Johnny: Dude...

    DM: Amelyssan loses. Sarevok loses. Luna is the last remaining Bhaalspawn.
    DM: The choice is now hers. Will she embrace the essence and become a power of the planes, or surrender what little remains in her and let the gods lock the foul energies away?
    Sandra: Can I end it so easily?
    Peter: Yep.
    Peter: This is all canon... but let me make you an offer that isn't.
    Sandra: Go on.
    Peter: You may use the power to resurrect Imoen... regardless of what you do with it after.
    Sandra: Heh.
    Sandra: Yeah...
    Sandra: That's...
    Sandra: I appreciate the gesture.
    Sandra: I'll pass, though. On that, and on godhood.
    Sandra: Can we have that Brynnlaw reunion now?
    Peter: Forthwith.

    Post edited by enqenq on
    JuliusBorisovDragonspearCrevsDaak
  • enqenqenqenq Member Posts: 497
    Sorry about keeping you hanging for so long, but I... got stuck, one last time. Not on this episode though, it's been ready for quite a while. I also wanted to include some epilogue however, but I will post that later, once I've had one final eureka moment.

    JuliusBorisovCrevsDaak
  • enqenqenqenq Member Posts: 497
    edited August 2015
    Talking to @CrevsDaak I realized that perhaps some of my game references may not have been obvious enough. To pull off a story like this, it requires both the author and the readers to have intimate game knowledge. Some things I did might just feel lame if you don't know the game event that inspired them. What's done is done, but I felt I should point some of them out anyway. I skimmed the story to find them though, so I might have missed some.

    On another note, I need to get the attention @Nonnahswriter now :P (not with this post specifically).

    SoA1: In the original BG2, it was actually possible to pickpocket Ihtafeer's head from her.
    SoA5: Lassal indeed never introduces himself, yet the party notes his name.
    SoA7: When accused of theft by the githyanki, Saemon corrects their pronunciation of his name the same way Peter does it to David (except Saemon says spittle instead of sarcasm, and opens with please instead of you know).
    SoA9: Saemon actually does poison your food on the ship - or rather, he slips some spell reagents in, so that Irenicus can later subdue you easily.
    SoA13: I haven't actually done this myself, but using Feeblemind on Renal Bloodscalp's minions (and Renal himself?) somehow allows you to get his Boots of Speed without angering the Shadow Thieves.

    WK1: The reason David won't let Ciclop have 24 strength is that Peter could give him the last point through Lum the Mad's machine.
    WK1: Draw Upon Holy Might is a possible Bhaalspawn power. Therefore David tries to make Peter reveal the Bhaalspawn's identity in exchange for a means of getting 25 strength.
    WK4: Sharwyn is a henchman in Neverwinter Nights. She gives you a quest to find Tamorlyn's Lost Song of Love. Said Tamorlyn being an elven bard and Tamorlin in WK being an elven bard seemed beyond coincidence to me.
    WK4: Silver and orange cannot be rhymed, but the demon always speaks in rhymes, so David had to try.
    WK6: Clicking the bell says something to the effect that it will keep tolling as long as Demogorgon isn't fully imprisoned.

    ToB3: The culmination of Sendany's taunt to Abazigal is the same as one charname can use. Abazigal's response is a direct quote from the game. Now that I've said it, I of course start wondering if it should be "shall" or "will", but other than that it's a copy.
    ToB8: In the original campaign, Vangoethe is part of a quest in Amkethran. He has made a deal with a man who is trying to avoid having to do his part (give up his soul to the lich). The lich takes his daughter's soul to coerce him. When you then ask him why he can't just take the man's soul, he says he requires a soul freely given and not taken. This is referenced in the whole last-cookie drama, which might sound lame without this knowledge.
    ToB9: It is very much possible (even easy) to kill the "immortal" Yaga-Shura with intelligence drain. You can go to his siege camp directly and do that and the plot will proceed as normal.
    ToB10: Sally's final line is an Irenicus quote. It's what he says when you try to do battle with him after identifying him in Spellhold. Also, see the SoA9 note.
    ToB12: Sarevok's baldness saved him from getting hopelessly entangled in this situation.

    NonnahswriterJuliusBorisovCrevsDaak
  • NonnahswriterNonnahswriter Member Posts: 2,520
    @enqenq To be honest... I haven't played Throne of Bhaal or Watcher's Keep all the way through, so that's why I've been avoiding this. >.> Sorry.

    enqenqJuliusBorisovCrevsDaak
  • enqenqenqenq Member Posts: 497
    @Nonnahswriter

    I see. My ToB story is quite different from the SoA one (much more wildly redesigned plot), and not having played the game matters less, but it's probably indeed for the best to hold back until you've played it at least once.

    Anyway, I wasn't tagging you only because you're an old reader I haven't seen around lately, 'cause you're not alone there - @jackjack I miss you in particular :( - but because there's a little bonus for you. And for CrevsDaak, but he's seen it :)

    In case you decide not to finish ToB, I hope you'll still come back and read episodes 6 through 8 (and then the post after). That adventure is completely homebrewed and as long as you've read the SoA/WK episodes, you should be able to follow it just fine. Episode 8 has some ToB characters involved but due to aforementioned bonus, you'll hopefully enjoy it even if you don't understand those particular references.

    Don't want to stress you though. You'll obviously have the best experience if you finish the game first, and the episodes aren't going anywhere :)

    JuliusBorisovNonnahswriterCrevsDaak
  • NonnahswriterNonnahswriter Member Posts: 2,520
    enqenq said:

    Don't want to stress you though. You'll obviously have the best experience if you finish the game first, and the episodes aren't going anywhere :)

    Exactly. :)

    enqenqCrevsDaak
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