Don't forget, she cannot be kidnapped by Bodhi. Some ideas for that:
1) Mary's cheese is too strong for Bodhi 1.1) Maybe even leaving Bodhi in a weakened state (i.e. 1hp when fighting her in the lair)
2) Bodhi ALSO has a crush on her, because Mary reminds Bodhi of a remnant of her elven past. Bodhi starts to cry when Mary doesn't reciprocate and retreats to the lair to proceed as normal. When encountering her there, Bodhi has obviously bawling her eyes out. Thru dialog she then either screams "you broke my cold undead heart, Mary!" and attacks as normal, or she just stakes herself.
Don't forget, she cannot be kidnapped by Bodhi. Some ideas for that:
1) Mary's cheese is too strong for Bodhi 1.1) Maybe even leaving Bodhi in a weakened state (i.e. 1hp when fighting her in the lair)
2) Bodhi ALSO has a crush on her, because Mary reminds Bodhi of a remnant of her elven past. Bodhi starts to cry when Mary doesn't reciprocate and retreats to the lair to proceed as normal. When encountering her there, Bodhi has obviously bawling her eyes out. Thru dialog she then either screams "you broke my cold undead heart, Mary!" and attacks as normal, or she just stakes herself.
Would you be game to write some dialogues? @Tome and I have written some. If everyone of us writes a few, we will have enough material to make this mod of horrors XD
When in doubt, reference Mary's multicolored eyes flashing/glinting/shimmering/glowing/pulsing in [adjective] [emotion]
Bonus points if you can be inconsistent with her appearance-one second she's a dusky-skinned woman with eyes as vivid and inspiring as a sunrise, the next she's a pale flame-haired beauty with orbs of viridian bliss that inspire passion and desire.
So how do we procede? Do we each go through the situations Charname faces throughout the game and weave Mary's interjections through that in an obnoxious way? Write it down in a .txt or right here?
We can start off by writing some dialogues and posting them here (you can refer to the earlier posts for some "contributions" from @Tome and me). I feel that many gamers here have given very interesting and valuable comments. As we gather steam, more can contribute. With sufficient content, we can then string them up. All that's left will be the help of an experienced modder to wrap things up ^_^
Another idea: since Elminster is her father, it could cheese up the story even more if Mary was also a harper. With a higher "clearance level" than Jaheira. It could totally hijack Jaheira's questlines as well... xD
Another idea: since Elminster is her father, it could cheese up the story even more if Mary was also a harper. With a higher "clearance level" than Jaheira. It could totally hijack Jaheira's questlines as well... xD
#harpsohard
Cool. We can start off by focusing on the various banters, plus some critical scenes (escaping from Chateau Irenicus, Spellhold). When the banters are ready, we are nearly there and we can add more ridiculous things... It seems that many gamers here were traumatised by the likes of Saerileth and Chloe and have lots of good ideas waiting to be tapped. LOL
(As you place Bodie's black heart on the altar, Mary's eyelids start to flutter)
Mary: Ahh! Is this the Nine Hells where I now lay? Where is the lover of my heart, CHARNAME? CHARNAME? Where art thou? Hast thou forsaken me?
Jan (if in party): She's moving! She's alive! She's alive!
PC: Mary! Oh Mary! Thou hast returned!
(Mary turned towards PC, her baby violet eyes twinkling)
Mary: CHARNAME! Art thou real, or art thou an illusion to tricketh me?
(PC held Mary's hand and brought to his face)
PC: Mary! Tis no dream, my love! Feel my face, for it's flesh and blood!
(Mary's violet eyes flashed in delight)
Mary: Ah, tis true indeed! CHARNAME! I thought I shalt never be with thee! Twas such a terrible experience, in the darkness of death!
(Silvery tears fell from Mary's violet eyes. PC wipes them away from her face as he weeps with her in joy)
(insert celebratory, vomit-inducing praises from party members)
PC: I nearly died of heartbreak, for I did not wish to live without thee! But thou hast returned, and I rejoice! My heart is now safe in thee once more!
(Mary blushed, and then looked at PC coyly)
Mary: Ah, such sweet words from thee, my love. Thy speaketh with love that nourishes my heart so!
PC: Speak no love, my love. Let us rest, and begone from this dark place. Irenicus awaits us.
(Mary smiles resolutely at PC)
Mary: Yes, my lord and love. The Exile hast stolen thy soul, and we must taketh it from him! I would sooner slay him for the torture he has inflicteth upon thee!
@jacobtan That comment literally made me puke, and I am utterly incapable of joking, so this is a fact and not a misuse of "literally" to make a metaphor. I now have to clean my floor, for it is full of brazilian mint juice and half-digested streuselkuchen, so I must excuse myself from this place for a while.
Just out of morbid curiosity (and a bit of perverse fun), I'm trying to conceive what can be considered the "worst NPC mod". They might include:
1. Weak stats (9 throughout) 2. Weak class (perhaps Wizard Slayer?) 3. Comes equipped with cursed items that give negative bonuses 4. Talks regularly... Like once every 30 seconds 5. Romances everybody from male to female to animals (even Wilson the Bear) 6. Writing that rivals the worst of fanfiction (maybe yaoi + graphic details + something else) 7. Ludicrous background (Star Wars + DnD + LotR + some camp stuff) 8. Interrupts you with sleep talks at inconvenient moments, when you're fighting Ascension Melissan, for example 9. Lots of melodrama - if Saerileth can die of heartbreak, maybe he/she/it dies if you don't sleep with he/she/it
You know, I think Irenicus should be in love with Mary, and takes Charname's soul to get rid of his competition, and continues his plan as normal, except instead of becoming a Seldarine for himself, he becomes a Seldarine in Mary's name, but I'm pretty sure that's overkill.
For the record, I hate you all and I actually have a *real* mod with an actual character I should be working on. I do. Seriously.
Here you have it- see, there are a lot of options for CHARNAME to say, because this is such a wonderful mod! And Mary Sue has a quirk with the word Oh, because quirkiness is cute! And her old English is obviously perfect (not that I could even write it correctly if I wanted to...)! And look at how nice she is to Imoen! WHY CLEARLY SHE IS THE BEST CHARACTER EVER.
However, I remain stubborn in one thing. I will not write action dialog unless it's flirts. Leave me at least one small ledge to stand on, okay?
CHAIN IF ~Global("M3MaryExists","GLOBAL",0)~ THEN M3MAR gr ~Oh, halt, stranger! Thee must halt for me!~ DO ~SetGlobal("M3MaryExists","GLOBAL",1)~ END ++ ~How could I not halt for the most beautiful woman my eyes have ever laid sight on?~ EXTERN M3MAR gr1 ++ ~Halt I will, oh fairest lady! What be thy bidding?~ EXTERN M3MAR gr1
CHAIN M3MAR gr1 ~Oh, thou compliments are too much for my aching heart! I hast been most cruelly imprisoned here, left to languish in fear of my captor's return! He seeks to win my favour, but I will not offer my Most Important Virginity to a man so vile! I have broken out of the cage wielded shut with the most perilous of level nine magicks, but I suffer so that escape seems so far from my grasp!~ == IMOENJ IF ~InParty("IMOEN") InMyArea("IMOEN") !StateCheck("IMOEN",CD_STATE_NOTVALID)~ ~*CHARNAME*! I told you the fighting broke my cage! This wondrous woman was the cause of it all, as twenty-seven lovestruck thieves attempted to cruelly ravish her, though she held them all off with her miraculous magic!~ == IMOENJ IF ~InParty("IMOEN") InMyArea("IMOEN") !StateCheck("IMOEN",CD_STATE_NOTVALID)~ ~Our debt to her is not something we can ever repay! We must help her find her way out of this creepy place!~ == MINSCB IF ~InParty("MINSC") InMyArea("MINSC") !StateCheck("MINSC",CD_STATE_NOTVALID)~ ~No! This is more wrong then the death of my witch! We must help the most beautiful girl be free! Boo demands it!~ == JAHEIB IF ~InParty("Jaheira") InMyArea("Jaheria") !StateCheck("Jaheria",CD_STATE_NOTVALID)~ ~As right thinking people, we must clearly drop all plans of our own escape to help this wounded woman. The balance calls for it. Even finding Khalid is meaningless in the face of her struggle.~ == M3MAR ~Oh please, noble one, thou mustest help me!~ END ++ ~I indeed mustest!~ EXTERN M3MAR gr2 ++ ~I would never leave someone so lovely in this wretched place!~ EXTERN M3MAR gr2 ++ ~I will see you freed from this dungeon if it is the last thing I do!~ EXTERN M3MAR gr2 ++ ~Your difficulties make mine of no significance! I am bound by honor to assist you!~ EXTERN M3MAR gr2 ++ ~Thee are as a wounded bird, and my heart dost ache for you! I willst see you safe, no matter what the cost!~ EXTERN M3MAR gr2 ++ ~Normally I would say no to such a plea, but your presence has removed any trace of my former selfish personality and I feel I must repent by assisting your lovely self!~ EXTERN M3MAR gr2
CHAIN M3MAR gr2 ~Oh, thank you! Thou art most kind and wonderful! I dost be Mary Sue Aumar, borne in Shadowdale and raised there by my glorious father. I willst give you and your sister my utmost support!~ == IMOENJ IF ~InParty("IMOEN") InMyArea("IMOEN") !StateCheck("IMOEN",CD_STATE_NOTVALID)~ ~Wait, sister?~ == M3MAR IF ~InParty("IMOEN") InMyArea("IMOEN") !StateCheck("IMOEN",CD_STATE_NOTVALID)~ ~Oh, yes, little Imoen! In addition to being one of the mostest powerful sorceress and fighter to walk this land, I am also a talented psionist! I can see the lines that bind you and together!~ == IMOENJ IF ~InParty("IMOEN") InMyArea("IMOEN") !StateCheck("IMOEN",CD_STATE_NOTVALID)~ ~Siblings! Wow! Mary Sue is surely the greatest, bringing us the truth like this!~ == M3MAR IF ~InParty("IMOEN") InMyArea("IMOEN") !StateCheck("IMOEN",CD_STATE_NOTVALID)~ ~Oh, it tis a glorious moment, but I feel so very faint from the horror of this place!~ == M3MAR IF ~!InParty("IMOEN")~ ~Oh, I feel so faint from the horror of this place!~ END ++ ~Come quickly, Mary Sue! We will get you out of here!~ EXTERN M3MAR gr3 ++ ~No! To have met someone so dear to me, only to see her wilt in front of me! I will save you, Mary Sue!~ EXTERN M3MAR gr3 ++ ~We must go, and fastly! You must see the sun again, beautiful one!~ EXTERN M3MAR gr3 ++ ~Oh Mary Sue, Mary Sue! If you faint, I will most surely catch you. Do not fret, I will take you far from this evil place!~ EXTERN M3MAR gr3
CHAIN M3MAR gr3 ~Oh, *CHARNAME*! We willst join together, and escape with our destinies entwined! I know this to be true!~ DO ~JoinParty()~ EXIT
I love how people are writing the worst dialogue they can conceive of and the result is just a slightly exaggerated Saerileth.
That's not an indictment of anyone here, rather the mod itself.
To be fair, there are people who seem to think it's good. Not that it's surprising... there are people whose sense of taste is only found in their mouths.
I must admit my inspiration is a bit lacking at the moment. I'd almost ditch my current (evil) game to play a new one with Saerileth to see if it would help.
I must admit my inspiration is a bit lacking at the moment. I'd almost ditch my current (evil) game to play a new one with Saerileth to see if it would help.
Almost.
It's fine. Mod or no, I think those of us who'd try to conceive the worst dialogues... are actually having fun. That's the most important XD
As an aside, I got to hand it to the Saerileth mod makers. They seem to accomplish this so effortlessly.
Okay, you challenged me, oh writer of my dear Vynd!
How do I make a dialog worse then the ever lovely if I insult her she will likely die of a broken heart and I don't want that on my conscious Sarelith? Because I *will* try it. To thee I sweareth!
How do I make a dialog worse then the ever lovely if I insult her she will likely die of a broken heart and I don't want that on my conscious Sarelith? Because I *will* try it. To thee I sweareth!
That was kind of my point. I'm not sure it's possible. I mean, you could make it wordier and introduce a bunch of spelling errors, but you'd still just be expanding on the Saerileth concept. Or you could design every conversation to showcase how insipidly dark and scary the character is, but then you'd be writing Tsujatha.
Underpowered stats, overpowered stats, too much to say about nothing of value, super special snowflake backstory, die-of-heartbreak melodrama, impossible boss fights, hijacking the protagonist's thoughts; whatever awful idea you can come up with, Nethrin and Sillara probably beat you to it.
Comments
Anyone else wants to chip in with cameo writing? XD
1) Mary's cheese is too strong for Bodhi
1.1) Maybe even leaving Bodhi in a weakened state (i.e. 1hp when fighting her in the lair)
2) Bodhi ALSO has a crush on her, because Mary reminds Bodhi of a remnant of her elven past. Bodhi starts to cry when Mary doesn't reciprocate and retreats to the lair to proceed as normal. When encountering her there, Bodhi has obviously bawling her eyes out. Thru dialog she then either screams "you broke my cold undead heart, Mary!" and attacks as normal, or she just stakes herself.
Bonus points if you can be inconsistent with her appearance-one second she's a dusky-skinned woman with eyes as vivid and inspiring as a sunrise, the next she's a pale flame-haired beauty with orbs of viridian bliss that inspire passion and desire.
#harpsohard
(As you place Bodie's black heart on the altar, Mary's eyelids start to flutter)
Mary: Ahh! Is this the Nine Hells where I now lay? Where is the lover of my heart, CHARNAME? CHARNAME? Where art thou? Hast thou forsaken me?
Jan (if in party): She's moving! She's alive! She's alive!
PC: Mary! Oh Mary! Thou hast returned!
(Mary turned towards PC, her baby violet eyes twinkling)
Mary: CHARNAME! Art thou real, or art thou an illusion to tricketh me?
(PC held Mary's hand and brought to his face)
PC: Mary! Tis no dream, my love! Feel my face, for it's flesh and blood!
(Mary's violet eyes flashed in delight)
Mary: Ah, tis true indeed! CHARNAME! I thought I shalt never be with thee! Twas such a terrible experience, in the darkness of death!
(Silvery tears fell from Mary's violet eyes. PC wipes them away from her face as he weeps with her in joy)
(insert celebratory, vomit-inducing praises from party members)
PC: I nearly died of heartbreak, for I did not wish to live without thee! But thou hast returned, and I rejoice! My heart is now safe in thee once more!
(Mary blushed, and then looked at PC coyly)
Mary: Ah, such sweet words from thee, my love. Thy speaketh with love that nourishes my heart so!
PC: Speak no love, my love. Let us rest, and begone from this dark place. Irenicus awaits us.
(Mary smiles resolutely at PC)
Mary: Yes, my lord and love. The Exile hast stolen thy soul, and we must taketh it from him! I would sooner slay him for the torture he has inflicteth upon thee!
That comment literally made me puke, and I am utterly incapable of joking, so this is a fact and not a misuse of "literally" to make a metaphor.
I now have to clean my floor, for it is full of brazilian mint juice and half-digested streuselkuchen, so I must excuse myself from this place for a while.
But honestly the really bad npc mode?
Stats: 25 everything
MR: 125%
Elemental resistance: 125%
immune to level drain/hold/normal and magical weapons
THAC0: -20
HP: 999
Kensai/mage/thief elf.
Improved alarcrity + backstab + greater whirlwind + critical strike + staff of ram
Repeat with wish spell to replinish between each fight without resting.
The really bad npc? The one that gives you least amount of fun IMHO.
Here you have it- see, there are a lot of options for CHARNAME to say, because this is such a wonderful mod! And Mary Sue has a quirk with the word Oh, because quirkiness is cute! And her old English is obviously perfect (not that I could even write it correctly if I wanted to...)! And look at how nice she is to Imoen! WHY CLEARLY SHE IS THE BEST CHARACTER EVER.
However, I remain stubborn in one thing. I will not write action dialog unless it's flirts. Leave me at least one small ledge to stand on, okay?
CHAIN IF ~Global("M3MaryExists","GLOBAL",0)~ THEN M3MAR gr
~Oh, halt, stranger! Thee must halt for me!~
DO ~SetGlobal("M3MaryExists","GLOBAL",1)~
END
++ ~How could I not halt for the most beautiful woman my eyes have ever laid sight on?~ EXTERN M3MAR gr1
++ ~Halt I will, oh fairest lady! What be thy bidding?~ EXTERN M3MAR gr1
CHAIN M3MAR gr1
~Oh, thou compliments are too much for my aching heart! I hast been most cruelly imprisoned here, left to languish in fear of my captor's return! He seeks to win my favour, but I will not offer my Most Important Virginity to a man so vile! I have broken out of the cage wielded shut with the most perilous of level nine magicks, but I suffer so that escape seems so far from my grasp!~
== IMOENJ IF ~InParty("IMOEN") InMyArea("IMOEN") !StateCheck("IMOEN",CD_STATE_NOTVALID)~ ~*CHARNAME*! I told you the fighting broke my cage! This wondrous woman was the cause of it all, as twenty-seven lovestruck thieves attempted to cruelly ravish her, though she held them all off with her miraculous magic!~
== IMOENJ IF ~InParty("IMOEN") InMyArea("IMOEN") !StateCheck("IMOEN",CD_STATE_NOTVALID)~ ~Our debt to her is not something we can ever repay! We must help her find her way out of this creepy place!~
== MINSCB IF ~InParty("MINSC") InMyArea("MINSC") !StateCheck("MINSC",CD_STATE_NOTVALID)~ ~No! This is more wrong then the death of my witch! We must help the most beautiful girl be free! Boo demands it!~
== JAHEIB IF ~InParty("Jaheira") InMyArea("Jaheria") !StateCheck("Jaheria",CD_STATE_NOTVALID)~ ~As right thinking people, we must clearly drop all plans of our own escape to help this wounded woman. The balance calls for it. Even finding Khalid is meaningless in the face of her struggle.~
== M3MAR ~Oh please, noble one, thou mustest help me!~
END
++ ~I indeed mustest!~ EXTERN M3MAR gr2
++ ~I would never leave someone so lovely in this wretched place!~ EXTERN M3MAR gr2
++ ~I will see you freed from this dungeon if it is the last thing I do!~ EXTERN M3MAR gr2
++ ~Your difficulties make mine of no significance! I am bound by honor to assist you!~ EXTERN M3MAR gr2
++ ~Thee are as a wounded bird, and my heart dost ache for you! I willst see you safe, no matter what the cost!~ EXTERN M3MAR gr2
++ ~Normally I would say no to such a plea, but your presence has removed any trace of my former selfish personality and I feel I must repent by assisting your lovely self!~ EXTERN M3MAR gr2
CHAIN M3MAR gr2
~Oh, thank you! Thou art most kind and wonderful! I dost be Mary Sue Aumar, borne in Shadowdale and raised there by my glorious father. I willst give you and your sister my utmost support!~
== IMOENJ IF ~InParty("IMOEN") InMyArea("IMOEN") !StateCheck("IMOEN",CD_STATE_NOTVALID)~ ~Wait, sister?~
== M3MAR IF ~InParty("IMOEN") InMyArea("IMOEN") !StateCheck("IMOEN",CD_STATE_NOTVALID)~ ~Oh, yes, little Imoen! In addition to being one of the mostest powerful sorceress and fighter to walk this land, I am also a talented psionist! I can see the lines that bind you and together!~
== IMOENJ IF ~InParty("IMOEN") InMyArea("IMOEN") !StateCheck("IMOEN",CD_STATE_NOTVALID)~ ~Siblings! Wow! Mary Sue is surely the greatest, bringing us the truth like this!~
== M3MAR IF ~InParty("IMOEN") InMyArea("IMOEN") !StateCheck("IMOEN",CD_STATE_NOTVALID)~ ~Oh, it tis a glorious moment, but I feel so very faint from the horror of this place!~
== M3MAR IF ~!InParty("IMOEN")~ ~Oh, I feel so faint from the horror of this place!~
END
++ ~Come quickly, Mary Sue! We will get you out of here!~ EXTERN M3MAR gr3
++ ~No! To have met someone so dear to me, only to see her wilt in front of me! I will save you, Mary Sue!~ EXTERN M3MAR gr3
++ ~We must go, and fastly! You must see the sun again, beautiful one!~ EXTERN M3MAR gr3
++ ~Oh Mary Sue, Mary Sue! If you faint, I will most surely catch you. Do not fret, I will take you far from this evil place!~ EXTERN M3MAR gr3
CHAIN M3MAR gr3
~Oh, *CHARNAME*! We willst join together, and escape with our destinies entwined! I know this to be true!~
DO ~JoinParty()~
EXIT
That's not an indictment of anyone here, rather the mod itself.
Almost.
As an aside, I got to hand it to the Saerileth mod makers. They seem to accomplish this so effortlessly.
How do I make a dialog worse then the ever lovely if I insult her she will likely die of a broken heart and I don't want that on my conscious Sarelith? Because I *will* try it. To thee I sweareth!
Underpowered stats, overpowered stats, too much to say about nothing of value, super special snowflake backstory, die-of-heartbreak melodrama, impossible boss fights, hijacking the protagonist's thoughts; whatever awful idea you can come up with, Nethrin and Sillara probably beat you to it.