Online dating seems a bit odd.
TarotMaster
Member Posts: 147
in Off-Topic
Ok so I singed up for a site and it kinda blew me away seeing all these women listed. I immediately began chatting with a few but it felt weird. I am no fan of email chatting and this is pretty much what it is. It would be nice if they had a instant message system but that would be hard to manage. I like it but I am not a huge fan. Feel free to post your thoughts on this.
0
Comments
It's better to go to the nearest park, to the theatre, to the cafe, to some courses (dancing, foreign language, music etc). There you indeed can meet a good girlfriend, you'll have all possibilities to know her, to speak to her, to watch her.
So, get real:)
But I can see your point, money makes a poor foundation.
The thing in those sites is that , it is NAY about getting a relationship , apart from I state that may be few others. You want some natural start , but your instinct never lies , and it always warns you , keeps you awake that , that girl is a gold digger , and sadly , no more.
I was saying though that going only for youth and beauty is at least as shallow as going for money only.
Well , you know , you can not plan ahead for a thing that is like 'love' big. If , one day , you would be in a state that looks for a perfection , you might be disappointed by the lack in that another area , no matter how great she was in the other areas. I don't get to say much on this , I have no right. But freedom in thoughts and future is as relieving as freedom in your own control , so it's best to leave it for the wind to carry afar. May be my pockets safe from charming thieves
Also, leaving something to 'chance' imho is pretty far from excercising free will and freedom.
Therefore, I think there are reasonable reasons for dating sites to exist.
You'd be better off meeting someone at a place of real life hobby, because everyone online is just mad.
I can't see how it makes any difference how you meet.
I met my wife in a more old school way, but I am no less happy than my friend.
Say yes to life and things happen. Even if you don't find exactly what you are looking for, I'd be willing to guess that you would be no worse for the experience. You may come away with some great stories at any rate
This, totally this. At least for me, it is a very hard task indeed. The fear, not only of talking to a complete stranger, but also due to bad experiences with rejection and low self-esteem/confidence have made talking with attractive girls such a monumental thing it's past the cringe point. I will try to break it in a coming event I might go to, but there are so many variables and ways it can fail in epic proportions, it becomes scarier and scarier to even approach one to say "Hi...".
Meeting someone at a place of real life hobby would be ideal, but the problem is, when you get to my age, single girls are incredibly rare, to the point of being almost non-existent. Most of you probably don't have this problem, only us old fogies. :P You're on an internet gaming forum aimed at people who like roleplaying games. I'm pretty sure most of us here share this problem. ;-)
But honestly, initiating contact is easy - girls aren't aliens, they're people, and if you talk to somebody like an equal, they'll usually respond in kind. I talk to girls all the time...it's conveying romantic intentions that's the difficult part! Word of advice: don't go with the express purpose of trying to score with somebody, just think of it as meeting new people. It relieves some of the pressure, and negates the fear of rejection because you're not making a proposal, so there's nothing to reject. Most people won't harshly rebuke somebody just for talking to them (unless you go into "creepy stalker" mode or say something crude or disrespectful). Even if nothing happens, you'll feel a bit more comfortable talking to people the more you do it, you'll get over your fear when you realise that girls are human just like you, and who knows, you might just make a new friend. Worst case scenario, she'll give you a funny look and walk away.
1. Approach the dating city 'against all odds'.
2. Try to fight in controlling the emotions and what level of your abilities to show to her while analyzing your philosophies containing fate if there is any , comparing with any charm and attractivity you look for in her.
3. While not chatting , start to dream about future and home with HER and how to revive her to be a more active and lively person.
4. Let the tranquilizing swamp pull you through , keeping you awake at night , and start to dream with whole your body not just your mind. It's not any good I say , more like a cage of narcosis.
5. ( Roll dice ) Lucky you are if you turn around and walk away , swallowing what you have started ; evading the danger.
6. [ Unknown to me , if you decide to continue , and decide to choose the tranquilization over sobriety ]
These are around and about what I've been through in my only attempt years ago.
Some people have more luck than they should have.
My girlfriend and me had different experiences though. For her (and from what I heard, most women), the problem lay in sorting out the dicks from the creeps from the genuinely good guys. Sorting out who's a massive douche is sort of easy, she got tons of message akin to "hey baby nice rack wanna bone". The creeps were a little harder, but ultimately identifiable by either noticing their mails as either immediately glorifying her or talking down to her in a friendly manner. In short, the problem was basicly that while she had lots of choice, the men to choose from were not that great, in general.
My problem was quite the opposite. Where she got a dozen messages per day (95% of which was trash), I got two messages in my entire dating site career. I sent out quite a few but most never responded. The question is of course, 'why not?' which was probably a combination of my terrible taste in women (no, really) which meant I was hardly ever what she was looking for and also my profile (or resume or only thing a lady can identify you by') was quite terrible, filled with bad jokes and accompanied by an unattractive picture.
Anyway, eventually I sent my girl a message (a little more eloquent than "hey baby wanna bang") and we hit it off and now we're living together and she's still supercool.
The art lies in selling yourself without sounding like a cock if you're a dude and recognizing them if you're a lady. Don't put pressure on yourself, be friendly and respectful and if being yourself doesn't get you any ladies, try and identify what part of yourself is so repellant and if you can/should change it (for example, a love of videogames should not be changed, showering once a week and looking like it can and should be).