Half-Horse Barbarian Neet's Journal feat. Neera & Imoen
Stratosj
Member Posts: 30
Hi, I'm new to this, so while I understand it's pretty much up to me where I go with this, please tell me if I cross the line somewhere etc. Right now the plan is a three member party on insane with a half-orc barbarian Neet, Imoen and Neera. This is also my first time with EE and Neera, so making sure I spawn some progeny is top priority.
I never tried a challenge like this before (not sure if it is at all considered a challenge around here, but I usually just played a full party on core rules) so it'll be fun figuring things out. Since that's the case I'm not going to focus on my role-playing and I'll just have fun with it. So this'll be just a semi-RP journal with random stuff mixed in, though not much OOC apart from the first post. Maybe something more serious will come next~
Btw, the name comes from Teen Liquid, a parody on Team Liquid, a Starcraft fan site I'm a member of that has a horse head for its logo, hence the name and the half-horse customization ^^ War Horse portrait by Liu Jianzhao. Both Neera's and Imoen's portraits are pictures of kpop queen IU.
Leaving Book Fortress
Dear Journal,
Today I joke with my old Winthrop, get flail and wakizashi for my two hands and crossbow bolts just in case - one never knows. I help clean his elven arse of all treasures.
Then I go help people, everyone but Firebead who want his scroll. I drop the scroll on floor and enjoy the sight for few hours before leaving. He cannut walk. So haard to find deecent folk nowadaaays.
On my way to fake dad I bump into orphan friend and tell it to get lost. After talking I inspired make an poem:
We go celebrate drinks.
Joke's On You
Dear Journal,
We leave book fortress because it is dangerous. Later that night we find ourself in ambush. Thumb down. I run away leaving fake dad to die which is fine because over night I convince myself it is his wish. I also cannut read.
Morning I wake up and wait for me filly to calm down but Iumoen walks in on me and insists joining. I am like whatever.
As filial son I go back to ambush scene to loot fake dad corpse and go. We are hungry so I take bow and go hunt bear. We never cook bear before so we go ask people on the road. We deal with creepy fatman who wants chat but this dwarf has butcher dad so he works.
Meanwhile we talk to tall man and he make fire with spell so we join forces. Evening we eat bear and sing. Tall man says horse joke so I neigh then night we take everything they have and paint their clothes pink then go. As we leave we hear momma bear finds daughter and not happy.
High Mages
Dear Journal,
Gorion say go to Friendly Arms but we know that ain't no place to drink so we go down to Beregost. There is more inn here than in Friendly Arm and actual females. On our arrival we already see hooman female who says she in dangerous and if we help her. In come really high mages and ask if we fight. I look female in the head and I say she with me and this guy start firing rainbows so I slaughter him and his friends.
Female faint from my stare so I wake her and now we drink and make brood.
I never tried a challenge like this before (not sure if it is at all considered a challenge around here, but I usually just played a full party on core rules) so it'll be fun figuring things out. Since that's the case I'm not going to focus on my role-playing and I'll just have fun with it. So this'll be just a semi-RP journal with random stuff mixed in, though not much OOC apart from the first post. Maybe something more serious will come next~
Btw, the name comes from Teen Liquid, a parody on Team Liquid, a Starcraft fan site I'm a member of that has a horse head for its logo, hence the name and the half-horse customization ^^ War Horse portrait by Liu Jianzhao. Both Neera's and Imoen's portraits are pictures of kpop queen IU.
Leaving Book Fortress
Dear Journal,
Today I joke with my old Winthrop, get flail and wakizashi for my two hands and crossbow bolts just in case - one never knows. I help clean his elven arse of all treasures.
Then I go help people, everyone but Firebead who want his scroll. I drop the scroll on floor and enjoy the sight for few hours before leaving. He cannut walk. So haard to find deecent folk nowadaaays.
On my way to fake dad I bump into orphan friend and tell it to get lost. After talking I inspired make an poem:
In da mighty Candlekeep born and raised
The library was where I spent most of my days
Chillin' out maxin' relaxin' all cool
Readin' some steamy books to old people
When a couple of guys who were up to no good
Started comin' at me in new trendy hoods
I only killed two of them and Gorion got scared
He said 'You're movin' with your auntie in the Friendly Arms, lad'
The library was where I spent most of my days
Chillin' out maxin' relaxin' all cool
Readin' some steamy books to old people
When a couple of guys who were up to no good
Started comin' at me in new trendy hoods
I only killed two of them and Gorion got scared
He said 'You're movin' with your auntie in the Friendly Arms, lad'
We go celebrate drinks.
Joke's On You
Dear Journal,
We leave book fortress because it is dangerous. Later that night we find ourself in ambush. Thumb down. I run away leaving fake dad to die which is fine because over night I convince myself it is his wish. I also cannut read.
Morning I wake up and wait for me filly to calm down but Iumoen walks in on me and insists joining. I am like whatever.
As filial son I go back to ambush scene to loot fake dad corpse and go. We are hungry so I take bow and go hunt bear. We never cook bear before so we go ask people on the road. We deal with creepy fatman who wants chat but this dwarf has butcher dad so he works.
Meanwhile we talk to tall man and he make fire with spell so we join forces. Evening we eat bear and sing. Tall man says horse joke so I neigh then night we take everything they have and paint their clothes pink then go. As we leave we hear momma bear finds daughter and not happy.
High Mages
Dear Journal,
Gorion say go to Friendly Arms but we know that ain't no place to drink so we go down to Beregost. There is more inn here than in Friendly Arm and actual females. On our arrival we already see hooman female who says she in dangerous and if we help her. In come really high mages and ask if we fight. I look female in the head and I say she with me and this guy start firing rainbows so I slaughter him and his friends.
Female faint from my stare so I wake her and now we drink and make brood.
7
Comments
Dear Journal,
In Beregost we go to inn but greedy fatman want gold for ale. We are hired by black woman Silke. She need to slay innocent people so I draw weapon but cow falls from sky and crashes on one of the guy and his middle finger hit me in head.
Everyone runs away screaming. I am shame to admit too. I think the new witch summon the cow but she act like nothing happen. I keep finger for memory. Later we claim reward for slaughter then slay Silke.
Beregost is dry so we go out to forests. As we do herioc deed I keep my head on the witch.
Some time she full of ball.
Other time ball full of her.
One morning we talk and she say maybe something wrong with her body so her magik wild. I want to see body but she say to work on timing. I try later, hope no ball.
We then arrive to dragoon graveyard and slay mighty beasts. I cut one open and in bowel find two pretty rings. I show one ring to witch to brag but she look me in the head and as I am confusing she grab it and put on finger.
Now we both wear green ring.
When it is wet we hug in sleep so we travel south to escape cold. Some time I wonder what is her name, maybe too soon. Iumoen still with us. Gorion still ded.
We join circus near Nashkel. Witch do wild sparks and Iumoen balance on my shoulder. Gold good, ale good but hay bad. We dispute with big wizard chief and murder him, we need to leave and wish noone recognize us from description.
We arrive at Nashkel nearby but stalker fan keep follow us and bothering my witch.
He trailing and talk so I slap him in the mouth. Child can clean him.
Then we can go to mine to look for work. We are hired but kobold colleagues not like horse so we slaughter all and boss.
When we find way back we are celebrating as hero by town mayor and get gold. We rather leave soon. We venture west and visit little blue man village. They friendly but not very good drinkers. We swim in nice pool, sleep in cabin and sing by fire.
We stay for night round two.
And day round three.
One say more little blue people in gnoll castle so we visit too. On way back to roads we swim in waterfall and with us float cat. Normally cat scare horse but this majestic cat never flinch. I name her Sauron. She never ask for food too so I have pet, for pillow also, but very adventerous.
@rufus_hobart Witch keep saying bad thing about Sauron. She even threaten her saying she dead. Maybe she jelous? #thingsthatkeepmeupatnight
Dear Journal,
Witch say she want to find magic senior a doy to help her control wild body. I agree but cannut map read so we travel long first. In halfling town we slay ogre, we battle bandit, kobold, wolf, and neer Doolak tower slay forceful warrior with firesaber. Up in tower, lonely female give us most tasty hay.
On saturday we find friendly goblin settlement and spend few day. When we go trip to cave we find fatman wizard senior a doy too but we are in ambush from red wizard and goblin captain.
We win big fight and a doy gives witch belt and turn into squirrel. So we leave. Witch is excited with new belt so we hug and all most kiss.
Dear Journal,
We leave goblin city as for few week now Sauron keep talking to me and sent me on holy mission. I tell my friend and witch so we venture to preach word of the Sauron. In deep bush we build cult from elves but one day during ritual someone may be bring in rotten vegetable or furt. I only know not me. Maybe. I do not know much then.
Dear Neet,
In case you ever learn to read, unlikely as that is with your strategy of one letter each year, I am leaving this message behind in hopes you live to know the truth. Seeing you with Sauron, we felt we needed to take a step back and give you the space you two needed. Also, last night, something happened between me and your childhood friend. We will be leaving together but should you ever want to see us again, hit us up at the Friendly Arm Inn.
Hugs and kisses,
Your witch
P.S. Sauron is dead! I'm so sorry.
Dear Journal,
Next morning over ritual I wake up and witch and friend and cult is all gone. Sauron do not understand too.
Dear Journal,
I look in forest for months and find nothing. One long night man goes by named Halizurex and seeing my drowning in tears and hungry he offer me and Sauron refreshement beverage and ask me what is wrong friend? I am too cold to speak so I gift him my journal. He grab my shoulder firm and tell me your witch is captured from bandits in Fiendly Hand. But they are too powerful for you to rescue alone he say.
Good I have Sauron with me I respond and leave him to venture to slay all Fiendly Hand bandit. But learning more about Fiendly Hand fortress in Nashkel it has too many forceful bandit. I go drink heavy and in night find nice wizard Ed Win.
Ed hear my tales and say he a student of Halizurex and we can do this, we travel up and Ed spend evening drawing ambush plan with sand by fire. Ed has a nice dog and liking Sauron, he travel with us. Also on way we are joined with blue little man friend from the village. We grow in number and spirits.
Last night before Fiendly Hand we defeat mighty ogre and find pretty belt. I know witches love belt so I insist Ed take it but he say no. So at night I put belt on him while he sleep. May be belt magical, in morning he look more strong in chest. He whine bit but don't take belt off.
We finally arrive to Fiendly Hand covered in night, we set up ambush by Ed plans. First we pay nearby hopgoblin gang to help, then we drop ded body in front of bandit gate, and wait for bandit to jump bait.
I dress to bandit, jump out of tree and say bandit buddy help!!! Gang hunters me!! (Ed stand on rock to tell me when I forget) Then we slaughter bandits.
Now we can enter fortress unseen. We evade all eyes but then cow see us so we slaughter all cow. Happily bandit don't see.
We hide in cart, redress and look as noble victim. We can sneak in victim room and free my witch!
We free my witch but now Ed say we need to make attention. We drop ded body in one room and little blue frend and his buddy go scare nobler bandits. The moment we escape and run out the fortress.
We success! Now we only need pay the gang. We let wizard of Ed handle it.
To hide from bandit we run into nearby forest. At last I unite with my witch and Iumoen! Sauron is most pleasing too.
Bit of a heartbreak when the ladies abandoned noble Neet. I'm glad everything worked out in the end, and am looking forward to your next installment.