Character sexualization in fan fiction
This discussion was created from comments split from: Fandoms that you're a part of that you hate.
This is a very mature topic. Be sure to respect the PG13 forum rules when posting.
This is a very mature topic. Be sure to respect the PG13 forum rules when posting.
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Anyway, I agree with @typo_tilly, pretty much every fandom has that vocal minority (oh please, please let it be minorities...) that spam their sexual interpretations everywhere. I personally really don't care if adults watch shows for children, like My Little Pony. I've watched X-Men Animated and a couple of other cartoons as an adult, too. But what I do mind is them spamming their sex fantasies *everywhere*, with no regard for the actual target audience. I sure would not let a little girl google "My Little Pony" because there's no need to ruin someone's childhood during their childhood. And that is sad, because in my many eyes, that little girl has a million times more the "right" to google her favorite show than an adult with a horse fetish. MLP is just an obvious example here, the same happens to some degree with pretty much every work aimed at children and teenagers.
Then, this stands out:
Frodo and Samwise can't be straight. They must be gay. Spend a lot of time together, amiright? *nudge nudge hur hur*
Sherlock and Watson can't be straight. They must be gay. Spend a lot of time together, amiright? *nudge nudge hur hur*
[...]
I am super glad we don't have a flaming problem of women's portrayals in games.
The outcry if a female character is sexualized can be heard all around the world, but the very same people have no problem at all to broadcast the (usually imaginary) non-straight orientations of male characters, not stopping at minors either. Why is that "okay"? Why can male characters be sexualized to the max and everyone cheers, but female characters are "sexist" if they just wear a summer dress? And let's face it, 90 % of fanfiction is about male characters being gay, written by straight teenage girls who very much objectify the characters or actors. "It's not about (IKEA) sex scenes, it's about the challenge to explore a different side of the characters!" Yeah, sure, how come the characters in question are always the attractive guys that star in every other fanfiction, and had all their sides explored several times, and never about the average/less attractive guys that don't appear in any fanfictions, despite being important characters?
I am gay. And I hate it if actors are "rumored" to be gay, based on "he looks/walks/talks gay" or "he played a gay character". It's not homophobic if a straight guy doesn't want to be seen as gay. It's not him being "insecure". It's simply him being straight. It's all over IMDB. Every actor under the age of 120 has a topic "Is he gay?" somewhere, even if he's married with children for 20 years. "That doesn't have to mean anything!" Well, sure it does. If nothing else, it means he wants his public image to be "straight family man". (Strange that I rarely, if ever, see these topics about female celebs and them being suspected to be lesbians.) That has nothing to do with people being "fans" of actors, it comes down to objectifying them. In "fandom", that's the norm and perfectly acceptable. To me, it isn't.
In the end, I have to wonder if the "shippers" have ever heard about this new trendy thing called "porn". They want every story to be about sex, porn is all about sex, that sounds like a match made in heaven to me. It's so much easier to find sex in porn than in, let's say, Harry Potter, My Little Pony or Stargate Atlantis. It's not like there is no genre that covers "sex" as a topic and people have to write or photoshop their own. There is a whole industry dedicated to satisfy that demand, including a completely free internet full of porn sites with "secure access" a la "Click here if you are 18" and no ID verifications at all. It really can't be THAT complicated to find porn and leave poor Harry Potter in peace.
/rant
First off, let me say that yes, it is a shame that a child cannot safely search the internet for My Little Pony (or whatever show it happens to be, really) because of the existence of rule 34 (and human nature). I think it is for the best if adult and X-rated fanfiction hangs out on its own boards/sites, while things rated Teen and below are more accessible. These things will exist, so all we can really hope to accomplish is better organization for the target audience. Quite simply, it is human nature to romanticize/sexualize things. Our great works of classical art and literature are filled with figurative (or even literal) smut. This isn't fair, especially to people who identify as asexual or nonsexual, but life isn't fair. It would be nice if the world worked that way, but it doesn't and it isn't going to so long as things like free speech exist. Getting rid of it creates bigger problems.
Now, I agree with you on a number of those points, particularly on principal, but realistically all we can do is shake our heads and enforce child safety features on digital devices. As for culture, I have some optimism that the younger the generation is currently (at least in America, from my observations) the more open-minded they are. The people in my age range (late 20's to mid 30's) are showing remarkably healthy attitudes toward sexuality and are open-minded more often than not in regard to a whole bevy of issues. Sure, there are some who embrace paranoia, tradition or xenophobia, but in general I'm finding more and more people you can have a civil discussion on sensitive topics with; again, the younger they are, the more easily the discussion flows.
I also have an optimistic outlook on why there is so much sexualization of non-sexual characters: the human desire for love and intimacy. The darkest/most disturbing pieces are obviously there for pornographic content (or some other purpose like horror), but most of what I find out there is created from love: love for a character, love for two characters, love of a setting, etc. I'm not going to rain on someone's parade for wanting to create an alternate universe where they can forge a fantasy into being. It should be done in such a way that the correct target audience sees it, but aside from that it doesn't hurt anyone (again, assuming it is the correct target audience seeing it). I've read the Harry Potter series and I've watched the movies, but I have read almost nothing in terms of fanfiction, and that fanfiction isn't ruining my enjoyment of the series despite my vague awareness of it. I don't begrudge people their fantasies though (and who in the fandom hasn't considered a world where Severus and Lily were more than friends?).
I guess what I'm getting at is the execution of the medium is the problem, not the medium itself. Let people like the things they like, let them create a fantasy if they so wish, just put it where people of the correct age and interest groups are going to see it.
Anyway, I'm probably getting sidetracked now so I'll stop here, I just wanted to speak in defense of fanfiction writers. In a way, that's what all of fiction is: our fantasies given an outlet.
http://www.dailydot.com/culture/beginners-guide-fandom-fanworks/
I very seriously doubt that 60 % of fanfiction writers are "queer" in the sense that they are actually lesbians (I'm too lazy to search a source for "most fanfiction writers are female and under 25" and frankly don't think anyone needs proof for that...) or bisexual/gay men. If you include tumblr-sexualities in "queer", that's probably true, but I'm not going to take "sapiosexual" serious, ever. In case you didn't know, it's "attraction to intelligence". Show me one person this side of Jerry Springer who is attracted to stupidity. Yeah, right... That's the first point.
Then, if most fanfiction writers are female and actually queer, this would mean "women not exclusively (or at all) attracted to men". If that was true... wouldn't most of the pairings be between female characters? I have lesbian friends. They don't care one bit about gay-male porn. They care, if at all, about realistic gay-female porn (as in "not the kind of lesbian porn made for straight men"). I've been exposed to many different fandoms through general fan art DeviantArt groups (including many fandoms I'm unfamiliar with beyond fan art). The percentage of lesbian themes was TINY, compared to the amount of gay-male themes, or didn't even exist.
Yeah, sure, some studios or networks or publishers consider non-straight characters as "risque". Because this usually means the character isn't as relatable to the majority of the audience. (Surprise, that's because a majority of all people is straight.) As always, entertainment is a reflection of the zeitgeist - not being straight is more acceptable than it was 50 years ago, but it's still far from being "just there". The same can be said about non-white characters. A lot publishers, studios and networks also consider it "risque" to have a black or asian or hispanic lead. So where is all the fanfiction about those folks...? Oh, right, the "real person slash" about J-Rock bands covers the Asians...?
I also can't see the "sexualization" of everything as positive as described above. I find it fairly disturbing just how far "acceptance" has come. It has become normal and acceptable (in fandom) to be into, pardon my French, weird shit. It doesn't take niche searches on Bing, you see this stuff all over a public place like DeviantArt, in fan forums, blogs... Inflation fetish, voraphilia, guro, (semi) bestiality, BDSM in various extremes, rape fetish, things I'm not sure have a specific name. I'm sorry, but that isn't "teenage hormones". That's a red flag. There is a huge difference between a teenager writing a love story about Harry Potter and Hermione having their first kiss (or even sex), and a teenager writing an epos about all of Hogwarths gangraping either of them. At some point, the acceptance and sex positive movement must have taken a really wrong turn to reach the point where people happily broadcast such fantasies to the world.
Food for thought regarding the "every celeb is suspected to be gay": Can you name one single non-straight celeb who specifically recieved praise for "playing straight"? In the same way straight celebs recieve praise (and sometimes shiny awards) for "playing gay"? I can't.
But then, in fanfiction world, hating each other's guts generally equals repressed sexual tension. Trying to kill each other also equals repressed sexual tension. So does being good friends and going out to a strip bar together - having women dance seductively for you is just a way to mask your desire to have your best mate dance seductively in front of you. In fact there aren't many things that don't equal repressed sexual tension in fanfiction world...basically, if there are two guys in the story, there's a good chance somebody will make them bone in a fanfiction.
While you may think this sounds silly, remember when you have to internalize and actually pay attention to nuances, everything will crumble and you'll start to behave like either a robot or a Fox News anchor.
On the flip-side, get them to play straight on stage is not a struggle at all. Most women tend to have very good chemistry with gay guys because they feel SAFE! Why wouldn't they? The man that holds them isn't really turned on.
In any case, I don't understand the problem with sexual characters. There are plenty of people who love to show off their body. I'd love to show off my body if I thought it could make people happy. Men and women alike feel the same, and sometimes it makes them feel powerful... and there's nothing wrong with it. Since art imitates life, why can't fictional characters do so as well? Prostitutes, sex workers, and even those who seduce to get ahead. If it's good enough for reality, why not fiction. To me, it only bothers me if it, like anything else detracts from the overall story.
Fifty Shades'/Master of the Universe most godawful attribute isn't the sexually abusive relationship being glorified, it's the unrealistic setup of a girl so puritanical and wallflowery that she has no depth or any real place being a protagonist.
Twilight also suffers from a Tabula Rasa character.
Saerileth's biggest problem isn't the sixteen year old girl (hell, my own 3rd edition manual says human adulthood is 15!!!) but how poorly written it is and overloaded with focus upon her, and the way its lathed with show don't tell, purple prose and unrealistics... it has nothing to do with her age. She'd still be awful as a 21 year old with large knockers... or even if they were never brought up.
And that'll segue back to the human body. In real life, large proportions on the human body exist. I think the real problem with these fictional portrayals isn't that they're large, but that they literally define the character. Japanese have an obsession with large knockers stuff tends to be a good example, but there, this stuff tends to be more humor oriented due to Japanese lifestyles... It's hard for me to grasp, I recommend Gaijin Goombah's videos on Youtube, he's well cultured on the matter.
Just my thirty-five cents here.
"Most women tend to have very good chemistry with gay guys because they feel SAFE! Why wouldn't they? The man that holds them isn't really turned on."
You know... actors are professionals. Straight actors are very, very likely also not "turned on" during sex scenes. If a woman doesn't feel "safe" with her partner, she's probably in a low budget basement production, or unprofessional herself.
"In any case, I don't understand the problem with sexual characters. There are plenty of people who love to show off their body."
Who said sexual characters are a problem? The problem is the sexualization of minors being apparently perfectly acceptable. If minors "show off their body", that's child porn. If minors are put in sexual relationships with adults, that's at least statutory rape. That is the problem. Neither should be anywhere near "acceptable", yet it is the norm in "fandom". And in this case, art doesn't imitate life. In real life, the adults involved would be charged and put behind bars. In fanfiction, it's romanticized and presented as normal.
The thing that throws one for a loop is when culture as a whole shifts. Most states in the U.S. have the legal age of consent at 16 now, for instance. Some places in Europe it's less, some places in the world it's more. Everyone agrees there is some kind of cutoff point, but not where that is exactly. If you're saying that we're not dealing with a vocal minority, you could be looking at a cultural shift, a sliding of values to different numbers and actions. I doubt that's what we're seeing and it's just a vocal minority; but if we're seeing a loosening of values, that's going to make some people uncomfortable and there would be backlash.
Anyway, getting sidetracked. The issues of misogyny, lack of consent, and violent sexual fetishes throw a lot more red flags for me than, say, a 16-year-old involved in something erotic. Obviously, it gets much more creepy the further towards childhood the characters are, and the further apart their age gap is. I agree with you there is plenty of friggin' weird fanfiction out there, things I would never try to defend as art (or even as acceptable), but I don't really have a solution to that.
The worst, of course, is Japan. The legal age of consent is 16... supposedly, but content creators are more than okay with fan produced hentai... I won't give any examples, because this stuff is NSF Reality itself. What does misogyny, the hatred of women, have to do with sexualized lolis and slash fiction?
Unless the topic has changed yet again and I'm slower than a congress usurped by snails.
To begin with, In Japanese anime/cartoons/comics, it is frowned upon (and used to be forbidden) to show any kind of pubic hair. Given that Japanese women tend to be small-breasted, the image that comes across is underage. Also, most Hentai/Ecchi (Basically perverted and erotic) anime pixellate the image that is seen, so the animators don't bother to draw or finish drawing what is under the pixellization, so when it is removed there is either nothing (What I tend to call "Ghost Richards Disease"- at best it's like a white outline, very faint, of what is supposed to be there) or the barest impression of genitalia, without hair or anything to show that the character is an adult. This leads people outside the culture to think that all the people who watch this stuff are perverted and want to be with kids. Another thing, of course, is that Animation is not considered "strictly for kids" in Japanese society- animation is for all ages, from kids shows like Pokémon/Digimon, all the way up to adult stuff like Urotsukidoji And the adult porn/sex stuff that are Hentai/Ecchi. It's a cultural disconnect between us and them, and both sides are unlikely to change.
Also, Japanese anime tend to have older characters with the appearance of kids/youth. So you have Son Goku from Gensomaden Saiyuki who is 500+ years old and looks like he's in the 10-13 years of age category, along with someone like Clef from Magic Knight Rayearth who is 1000+ years old with the same look. Japanese society semi-fetishizes youth as a time of purity of body and purpose. The reason why so many transformation sequences in Anime involve nudity is for that same "Purity of body and purpose" idea.
I have a semi-confession. I got my start writing fanfic, and indeed, I still tend to write stuff in universes that interest me. My stuff started out as me writing my fantasizes, for lack of a better word, in 10th grade in an old spiral notebook left over from school the year before. And at that point, I was reading Playgirl (Hey, it was the early 80's, this was not abnormal back then). I can only hope that I have gotten better at it since then. I still write, and yeah, fanfic is a starting-off point for me, generally, still. At best, the biggest result of my start is that my stories tend to be sex-positive (i.e. I don't slut-shame my characters and having had more than one partner doesn't make other people call them sluts. I realize that many/most characters will not meet the love of their lives in childhood and never have a relationship with anyone else but them- I find this increasingly common in "modern" fanfic, and it puzzles me. Maybe our society is getting more sexist, not less… but I digress.)
My complaint about Master of the Universe/50 Shades is not that it's about S&M- but that it's NOT S&M. It's abuse masquerading as S&M. Just as the whole Bella/Edward romance in Twilight isn't romance, it's creepy stalkerish behavior masquerading as romance (and the less said about Jacob/Bella and her baby being his one true mate, the better- that whole thing made me want to hurl and is still the biggest turn-off of that series for me. I literally STOPPED READING at that point.).
As for why turning two apparently straight male characters gay and why it's okay while the opposite is not, is because there is still a lack of gay characters in all mainstream fiction, so turning a straight character gay is acceptable because you are increasing the number of gay male characters, while doing the opposite is erasure of those types of characters. (I am on a number of lists about fan fiction, and there are still people out there who will complain vociferously if any hint that one male character likes another male character in any way but straight friendship is in the story, and consider the story worthy of being "Flagged" or having warnings posted about any kind of male/male relationship, even to the extent of one male character telling another male character, "I like you". Warnings are usually posted for things that can trigger (cause a panic attack or similar) a reader, which is kind of insulting, if you ask me. I doubt that there are that many people in fan fiction or who read fan fiction who are going to get triggered by the thought that two men might be in a more than platonic friendship relationship with each other.
That being said, I did read an X-men fix with a half-Dryad(?) (some sort of nature spirit) hybrid who gets brought in to "tame" Sabertooth with her sex hormones, which means, she has to have sex with him. And I don't remember her age (14/15, maybe?), but she was from Scotland, and she was above the age of consent there, which in the opinion of the author, made it okay for her to sleep with Sabertooth and I think Logan, among others. But for me, her age was way too young, and I found it more squicky than anything else. Problematic, certainly. But what about when a character looks young, or acts young (as in the anime I mentioned above) but is hundreds of years old. How and when do these characters cross the line? Is it okay if they look young, but are really old? Is it okay if they look of age, but are actually really young? What about if they look of age, but in their culture, they are too young (Elven Bride, an anime, actually deals with this. A young human marries a young elf (who is actually 50, but basically a child in her culture, so even though she looks like is old enough to marry, her husband is too… big for her because she isn't quite sexually mature yet…)
In fiction and dealing with other races, we have to deal with stuff beyond just age…
I am sure there are things I forgot, but I can continue with those another time. This is getting too long.
As some may know, I have identified as asexual for several years and this label has become "the new bisexual" (= something people claim to be to be "unique" and ditch as soon as something more interesting comes along). I've read various boards about this subject, and what stood out was the really high percentage of teenagers as young as 13, 14, who felt like total freaks and outcasts because they were not sexually active, and everyone around them was basically a porn star in training.
Let that sink in and think back to when you were that age. Were you in someone new's bed every week? Did you have fetish gear, a kink checklist for potential partners, a polyamorous relationship with 6 genderqueer pansexuals? Did your friends do that? Probably not. It's been 20 years since I was 14, and I frankly doubt much has changed. Teenagers today are still not the mortal avatars of FetLife. But the "vocal minorities" make people feel that way. Slut shaming has turned into the opposite. Being a virgin used to be a virtue; something people were proud of not giving away to the next best willing piece of meat. Today, virgin is a slur, same as calling someone "vanilla". It's used to say "You are boring/a prude". Shaming people for NOT having an arsenal of fetishes and sleeping around is not "sexually liberated". It's just a different version of shaming people for their preferences and life choices.
Japan. I agree that there is a huge cultural misunderstanding at work. In the western world, Japan is "the perverted" country due to their porn, but a lot of the "weird porn" stems from the way the culture treats sex. Tentacle porn is not there because the Japanese thought "geez, dongs don't do it for us anymore, let's use tentacles instead". It's there because dongs were taboo and tentacles were not, hence drawing a tentacle instead got around the censorship. It's the same thing as saying "dang" instead of "damn"; make it just different enough for the censorship to not apply, but unmistakenly have the same place/function. Ironically, Japan is leading another curious interntional chart, right next to "weird porn". And that is a notably above average ratio of young people with no interest in sex. Here are some random first page results for "Japan asexual":
http://fellowshipoftheminds.com/2012/03/23/increasing-numbers-of-japans-youth-are-asexual/
http://sociologicalimagination.org/archives/14374
http://www.atimes.com/atimes/Japan/NC13Dh01.html
http://www.thedatereport.com/dating/sex/an-epidemic-of-asexuality-is-plaguing-japan/
So much for Japan being the weird sex capital of the world. Weird porn is just something the west eats up as an export good. It's like a vegetarian running a steakhouse because the money is good.
In other not-so-news, I still call bullshit on "reasons for slash fanfiction". If it was really "underrepresentation", it's weirdly specific that fanfiction is so keen on correcting the "gay men" ratio while completely ignoring all the other underrepresented demographics. There are the racial minorities as mentioned above, there are religious and cultural minorities. There is no celebrated subgenre about "what if character A was a taoist", "what if character B was Russian", "what if character C was black". None at all. The only thing people keep changing is sexual orientation (and sometimes gender, judging by the fanart I've seen on DeviantArt, not sure it's a "big" thing) of straight male characters. Now, sure, there ARE fewer gay characters people could turn straight, and I agree it would be unneccessary to do that as there are usually enough straight characters to write about as it is. But there are not vastly more lesbians or bisexuals than gay characters, yet lesbians and bisexuals remain a minority in fanfiction/fanart, too.
The only notable lesbian couple I remember from DA is from the Xena fandom (I haven't watched it, so I don't know if it's a canon couple). For gay guys, I can't think of a single fandom that doesn't have multiple apparently popular couples, most not canon even if gay characters are present.
In the end, it does come down to objectifying people based on their orientation. "Fag hag" is a thing. "Gay best friend" is still seen as a "fashion accessory" in some circles. On the other hand, I have never heard from a straight man that he desperately wants a lesbian best friend, or latches onto every butch dyke in sight to appropriate her culture, hang out in lesbian bars with her and what not.
Straight women (well, girls, usually) think of gay men as a trendy accessory where the only important trait is them being gay. Straight guys watch lesbian porn and call it a day.
And, surprise, there are studies that suggest lesbian porn is also popular with straight women because it's more sensual/less fake/less degrading (and lacks the beer bellied grunting male element many - men and women alike - consider a turn off in straight porn). So no, all the "suddenly everyone is gay" fanfiction still doesn't add up. And I still consider it degrading and objectifying toward men. If a "fan" doesn't even respect the (straight) actor's sexual orientation, I can't see them respecting the rest of the person either. And, in case of fictional characters, I assume the writer who came up with them had a reason to make them straight/gay/whatever. If I don't like it, fine, but I won't start to "read subtext" between the lines to "prove" the creator wrong about their own damn character.
- Sexualization of minors is not OK.
- Oversexualization is a problem that you aren't going to solve, because "sex sells" rule. Best to have healthy distance to it.
- NSFW content should be either marked as such, or belong to it's own site that is dedicated to that.
- Let's stop pretending. It doesn't mean a thing if you hide or restrict NSFW content in any way, because minor will find it regardless if it wants. Thanks to the internet.
- Aside from that, people are free to express themselves, even their fetishes.
- These fetishes ought to be marked somehow, so that people would know what to expect before seeing the fanart/fanfiction
- Expressing, sometimes disturbing, fetishes via fanart/fanfiction is still better than trying to force them on someone in real life. My suggestion is not approving, but tolerate most of them.
- Sexuality, overall, is a complex thing. There is no 100% clear mark that says when it's right and when it's wrong.
- Have a good day.
just sayin'...
Also, I'd say the genesis of slash was around the original Star Trek series, with Kirk and Spock. Look at the dynamic there- Kirk sleeps with tons of women, but he never has the kind of relationship with them that he has with Spock. It's exploring the relationship rather than the sex that was important. Of course, given that this was the late 60's/early 70's, yes, sex was also going to come into it. Sex between two men as the ultimate expression of love and friendship.
I'm not saying this is the reason for *every* bit of slash. And maybe sometimes, the writer doesn't even know the reason why she's focusing on the two characters being together. There are many reasons for writing a relationship for a character or two- you like the characters, you want them to be together. Or you like the character but you want to fix him or her by writing a better life for them with character X. It's always problematic to write yourself or an author avatar into the story, you get accused of that character being a Mary Sue. Sometimes even if the character is female and is just seen as having a relationship of some sort with a canon male character, they are declared Mary Sues, not because the character is actually exhibiting Mary Sue characteristics, but because the accuser is jealous of the implied relationship.
That's another reason to use a male character rather than a female character- jealousy. The writer who writes the story wants herself to be the recipient of the character's affections, but having a female stand-in is too threatening, so they'll write a male stand-in instead. Sometimes, it's so bad that the writer flanderizes all the female characters as jealous female dogs (you know the b-word I mean) trying to come between the pure, perfect love between the two male characters- because the second male character is the author stand-in for herself and she can't stand to see another woman steal "her" man- even in fiction. To the point where even women in-canon who had past relationships with the male character are, dare I use the word, "demonized", into jealous harpies who cannot stand to see the male character in a happy relationship with someone else besides them and do the most ludicrous stuff trying to break up the character and his new flame because JEALOUSY. It's quite frankly sickening to read. But everyone (both reader and writer) has no problem with the male romance, because it's understood that this is the female reader/writer stand-in, the one they can imagine themselves to be. Even for me, I find it a bit scary. Sometimes more than a bit.
Hopefully, though, this is something the writer outgrows. But it's easy to get locked into that mode of thinking when many, many readers will praise you for writing something that conforms to their prejudices. When readers get angry that a writer didn't bash female character A enough for daring to think she had a chance with their favorite character. When they use the terms "female dog" and worse to describe a character simply because they had a past relationship with their favorite male character. It's sick. It's horrible. And it still happens because many people who write that kind of fanfic are teenage girls… or are stuck in that kind of mindset.
A lot of fetishy sexual stuff that pisses me off is when it seems to exist because its intent is poor. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7PKwcJVa3dU&index=12&list=PL4F31A66C32EB96B9 Maybe it's just me, but I watch a lot of sitcoms... isn't it that the women characters are shrewd, witty, and look at their men like "Oh that dumb ogre said or did something stupid again!" *Laugh track* I don't recall the sitcom that has a man beat his wife. Hell, "To the moon Alice" was probably the most wife abuse I've ever heard of in that genre and that's what... older than most of us?
Even in shows growing up, the woman always seems to be the take charge parent.
Then again, I think that women just write two men because they... get this: they like men and 2 > 1. It's not something for them to be as ashamed of as they actually are about it.
Usually the idea is that the woman needs to make the man be less clueless in a social sense, but a woman who can't catch a man is, like I said, pathetic and "Needs help". Being without a boyfriend or "significant other" is a lack, who all your attached friends will try and fix for you. (to be fair, this also is true for men- the long term bachelor is also a pathetic figure who needs to be "fixed"- but it's cultural, too. There is no space for someone who is happy being alone, everyone assumes you must be pathetically unhappy and would be so much better off in a relationship.)
Men are generally seen as socially pathetic, but think about this. When you want to put a man down in a really bad way, what do you call him? Womanish. Think of a lot of insults to men- they are gendered insults, and they compare him to being a woman. Pussy, bitch, Man-whore… these are all comparing a man to a woman. And the last one is even more ironic in that being a "whore" is seen as a female trait because you have to change it to "Man-whore" to make it apply to man. Gigolo is rarely remembered as a word and doesn't have the same connotation as "whore". This is why I say being a woman is seen as less than a man. Usually, words associated with man or being manly is seen as a good thing. When men are weak or complaining, they are told to "Man up" or "Be a man". i.e. being a man is a good thing to be. Have you ever heard someone say, "woman up!" or "Be a woman"? Why not? That's something you don't want to be.
And to be fair, there are insults about being TOO manly. But some of them are just barely insults or can be used both ways, like "Macho" or "Over-testosteroned". But Macho isn't always an insult. And may I also say that the use of "rape" to mean "Won overwhelmingly" grosses me out? Hearing a man talking about playing touch football (or some video game or something) and describing beating the other team as "We raped their asses!" just completely creeps me out.
First two paragraphs contains your observations tucked under "usually" ies and "generally" ies. But especially the second one has a little more certainty , the very last sentence. To be alone is impossible. There are millions&millions people around. So you will definitely run to a man ( which man is short for human ) , and you will definitely treat him/er like a human should be. So , there will be no escape from social interactions really based upon coincidences , and running away , hiding under blankets will definitely prove useless and emo-fantastic. What I want to connect this into is , that you can easily defend yourself if your relationships don't go that further , because like I said a relationship is inevitable and inevitably will improve that only is depending on logicality of the interaction/relation. That , you can say that , it is not something you can directly intervene to have a relationship(s) go deeper. e.g. I liked the look of a woman. I want to start a relationship with her. But the situation ( the place , the time , ... ) this is happening leaves definitely no logical moves to make this true. It is a wrong thing to "motivate" people. And in this sense , it is wrong to motivate someone to get a friend.
Well the paragraph about insults , I disagree at some points. It is more a sociogeological think , I think. The women are quiet , this is true. They don't rebel , and they don't act to raise their own voices , I don't know why. Remember the joke I made about "woman's intelligence" , that I said some men choose to endure that for a hope to be entertained. Now , the joke aside , the truth behind this actually leads to "the insults containing feminine abuse". Like I said in the paragraph above , many men force themselves into relations with women , they like the looks of that women , but they just can't see a reasonable way too approach them. Now , when they force themselves , and reasonable women reject them because it feels so odd , so strange and irritating , women seem to men like they don't understand them. But the truth is those men even don't understand themselves. But , adding the quality that women are quiet , men easily find their superiority by using women genital references , easily offending women brain , et cetera ; this fake hate even continues beyond borders of social interactions , some people attempt to use this to create some one-night stand fantasies in their heads , like women can't play games because their reflexes are dumb , etc. But the simplicity that women are human , and the truth `they simply don't want` is not attractive enough for all those men who try to sedate their self-guilt.
And for the last paragraph , street language and slang language are both necessary elements to express feelings for some percentage of the population. Not everyone are raised in castles and citadels money everywhere , having so much warranted future that you feel you can even kill yourself by reading only books. It is language within a language , so like any other language it has a certain logic of usage. It will make no sense if not used properly. And , very importantly , in case of street language only , because words are used out of their common meanings in street language ( possibly the movement of rebellion ? ) , if you plan to take the sentence out of the context/environment it has been used and try to analyze it alone by itself , it will be ridicilous at many times , disgusting and irritating. Like very simple , the example you have given.
Just think a little more wide open. There are many men too , like me , who are attacked by women. They even defend themselves atop that , and because a woman is listened with ears open , but when a man talks , meh... you get to be executed even if your intentions were irrelevant of those what women load unto you , using you to sedate their own self-guilt. So , this is the another reason , hence , the usage of feminine-inferiority implied street language words. Because , government , society ,... they are all feminarchies in the sense of attention black-hole and the target of all sycophancy.
I don't read fanfiction. I want my sanity and not rip my eyes out and burn them.
When I read or see something, I want some quality in art like drawing or writing.
Also I'm a fairly open-minded person about sex and sexuality and even some fetishes.
I might not like them but I understand them and why people might like them.
And I won't even go into the man vs woman thing too much.
We are different but equal.
That means different expectations, different insults, different attitudes, different compliments, different points of view.
Despite some wanting women to be the same as men to be equal.
Sameness =/= equality
"Then again, I think that women just write two men because they... get this: they like men and 2 > 1. It's not something for them to be as ashamed of as they actually are about it."
This rings much more true than any of the "reasons why slash is written". Especially the second sentence. Why do women make such a fuzz about it "not being about sex"? Why claim it's about "exploring characters in a new situation"? Why claim it's about the "challenge"? Why violently defend the stance it's "not sex"? No-one in the history of forever has made such claims about lesbian or straight porn. If anything, people joke about the ridicolous "plots" a la "you ordered a pizza with EXTRA SAUSAGE?"
Slash/yaoi fans seem to consider themselves beyond approach because "it's not about sex, it's about exploring characters". Imagine a straight guy told you he's into lesbian porn because of the "well written plots". You'd say "yeah and I read Playboy for the well researched articles" and you'd both have a good laugh about it.
All the stuff about "writer is jealous of female characters having a chance with their favorite male character"... Geez. These people need their head examined. It's fictional characters. No-one has a chance with them because they don't exist. And even if the characters were real, it's pretty weird to make the guy they want gay, because that certainly seals the deal of "never having a chance" for any female person. If your logic is that far gone, you need to see a shrink to function in reality.
The sitcoms. I agree that in most cases, if there is a family the sitcom is about, the woman is the "smart" one, the man the "dumb" one. I have nothing to back up this theory, but I think that is pandering to the audience. Most family sitcoms with that traditional premise - "here's a typical family and these are their wacky everyday adventures" - started out with the assumption that the audience would be mainly female and likely mothers who stayed at home (and therefore had time to watch the show). Writing the wife as smart and running the show despite having a dumb husband creates a lead the (assumed) main audience would like and identify with. This extends to shows that are not about traditional families - there will still be a strong, opinionated female character that the man needs to get shit done, and said man will usually be a single father (hence still deal with things a stay at home mother has in her life, and therefore be relatable).
Then you have cartoons and showed aimed at children with that dynamic. I suspect there's more an educational aspect at work than misandry. "Your dad brings home the bread, but your mom works hard, too, just like that awesome mom on TV, so don't give her even more work". I don't think these shows try to teach kids that their dad is secretly a moron. I think they try to keep kids in line and show respect for their mom's work-that-isn't-a-"real job".
I can also think of several shows where the parents were equals. Either equally dumb - Peg and Al Bundy, or just equally not-dumb (Kate and Willy Tanner from Alf come to mind, Dan and Roseanne, the parents in Fresh Prince of Bel Air). It's probably confirmation bias - once you begin to think "dads are always dumb in sitcoms", you begin thinking about Homer Simpson and blend out less present/memorable shows with a different dynamic. In the case of the Bundy clan, there's even a reversal that parodies the "strongwilled woman = awesome, submissive man = weak idiot" with Darcy and Jefferson, where he is usually less of an idiot/more reasonable than she is, despite her clearly "wearing the pants". Both are still dumb, but a different kind of dumb.
Speaking of gender roles and representation in movies/TV, what does everyone think about the Bechdel Test? Relevant? Outdated? Forced? Helpful?
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bechdel_test
Honestly though, you guys with your political correctness and walls of text are overthinking it. what it comes down to is that people like sex, and they will write about that in a way that reflects that, just the same way the draw and photograph stuff in a way that reflects that. They've been doing it since writing began, and they're going to keep doing it'd or a long time.