Remorhaz (and other culinary delights)

procco

I'm making a post mostly so the post count doesn't get stuck at 666! But what I want to know is what in the name of Tempus is a remorhaz??? It's like an overgrown bug dragon monstrosity! Thankfully they are pretty easy to take down seeing as they deal some pretty nasty damage. One of them took out my level 12 Mage in 2 hits.
Anyway, just dropped in to share my distaste for the remorahz.

elminster

These might shed some light.

procco

Thanks for that! It says they are very rare. Well, they are a litte more rare now!

Jarrakul

elminster said:

Organization: Solitary

This does not match my in-game experiences.

elminster

I think in this case solitary means that they can be found in at most small family groups. Most creatures listed in the Monstrous Compendium seem to be listed this way.

Tad_Has_A_Cold_Olive

procco said:

Thanks for that! It says they are very rare. Well, they are a litte more rare now!

I prefer my remorhaz steaks medium-rare myself, but different strokes for different folks, I guess.

Nimran

Some like it raw...

Lord_Tansheron

It is definitely a grave oversight that the monster manuals include so little culinary information. All the manuals, really, since I know from personal experience that chicken tastes like gnome, and I do feel that should be mentioned in the description of the gnome race somewhere. What do they expect hungry adventurers to do, just go ahead and nibble on every aboleth they come across to see if it goes well with remoulade? I mean COME ON.

Jarrakul

Alright, next game I'm in, I'm gonna rp a character whose life goal is to chronicle the culinary properties of every monster in the world.

Proteus

Lord_Tansheron said:

What do they expect hungry adventurers to do, just go ahead and nibble on every aboleth they come across to see if it goes well with rice?

fixed

kiwidoc

sneaks onto the thread

Sings - to the Tune of "Thats Amore"

What's a wonderful fry
And it's great in a pie
Thats Remorhaz!

runs away very fast

Lord_Tansheron

The culinary possibilities of the Forgotten Realms are truly endless, I tell you!

Think about it: umberhulks Rockefeller, Athkatla Fried Gnome, maybe some sahuagin sashimi? Orc-on-the-cob, dragon chili (extra spicy), ankheg á la mode? Heck, trolls give a whole new meaning to "finger food"!

bob_veng

procco said:

One of them took out my level 12 Mage in 2 hits.

you were pretty lucky, not seeing them deal 100+ dmg when the fire attack kicks in.

procco

I think maybe I took on HOW a litte too early. I'm getting through it very slowly on core setting, but I'm getting my butt kicked left and right. So many freaking trolls! I'm having to rest after practically every fight, but oh well. By the time I get back to Kuldahar I should be able to steamroll Lower Dorns Deep (which I've never been able to get past before).

procco

Also, is troll best cooked with a quick fireball searing, or maybe a slower cooking Agnazar's Scorcher rotisserie?

Wowo

procco said:

Also, is troll best cooked with a quick fireball searing, or maybe a slower cooking Agnazar's Scorcher rotisserie?

I think a slow roasting in Incendiary Cloud always gave the best results.

Just make sure it's cooked well done or you might end up giving birth to your very own troll baby!

jackjack

Troll is also a rare treat if pickled in Acid.

Cluas

Trolls are nutritious?

Nimran

Cluas said:

Trolls are nutritious?

A delightful treat sensation.

scriver

Swallow a piece the right size and you'll never have to eat again - it just keeps regenerating and regenerating as your stomach acids break it down..

Lord_Tansheron

Oooh let's start figuring out how that works! Bring science into D&D, and pick it all apart!

Just don't say a wizard did it...

OlvynChuru

scriver said:

Swallow a piece the right size and you'll never have to eat again - it just keeps regenerating and regenerating as your stomach acids break it down..

Well, I'd expect that in order for the piece to regenerate, something else has to be consumed. I don't think regeneration creates something from nothing.

OlvynChuru

Lord_Tansheron said:

Oooh let's start figuring out how that works! Bring science into D&D, and pick it all apart!

Just don't say a wizard did it...

You just don't bring science into a setting where the six most fundamental elements are "fire," "water," "air," "earth," "positive energy," and "negative energy." It just doesn't work out.

Lord_Tansheron

OlvynChuru said:

You just don't bring science into a setting where the six most fundamental elements are "fire," "water," "air," "earth," "positive energy," and "negative energy." It just doesn't work out.

Depends, if you can formulate the axioms of the system properly and define the interactions, you can probably check for self-consistency and coherence and try to make it work.

Or you can go the "miracle exemption" route, i.e. you just allow certain facts as axioms, and go from there (many "explanations" of superhero powers work like that).

Just because it's imaginary doesn't mean it can't be used for science, right?

bob_veng

Lord_Tansheron said:

Just because it's imaginary doesn't mean it can't be used for science, right?

well that'd be fantasy science, actual science (or 'science')
having internal consistency and some principal laws doesn't make it scientific, it just makes it nicely fantasized in order to facilitate suspension of disbelief.
actual science does't work by deducing laws from axioms anyway, but ground-up: through observation and verification.

Jarrakul

I always find fantasy that just has things work with no rigorous explanation to be... lazy. I suspect this comes from a combination of my scientific background (which demands that I understand how something works and what/why the notable exceptions are, or at least that there are such rules) and my DMing experience (because if you don't have an answer for something as simple as whether trolls create mass from nothing, players can and will take advantage).

Regarding the eating a troll thing, according to normal D&D rules, trolls would digest normally without regenerating. Stomach acid is acid, after all, and acid prevents troll regeneration. Keeping a troll tied up and cutting off bits of it to eat, however, would. Furthermore, given that trolls burn, one could in theory power machines with chunks of burning troll, cut off from the main body before being set on fire so that the troll regenerates. One could easily posit an entire industrialized society built, not on coal or oil or nuclear power, but on troll meat. Which, frankly, is precisely why you should give some thought to how these things work before someone else does.

Cluas

This thread is becoming so weird, that I like it : D

Lord_Tansheron

bob_veng said:

actual science does't work by deducing laws from axioms anyway, but ground-up: through observation and verification.

Yes, actual science works the other way round (observation->rules) but obviously you have to reverse that process for an imaginary system, so you can simulate accurate observations based on the rules you defined; i.e. someone unfamiliar with the rules would in the end be able to apply the usual scientific process of observation. To make that work though you need to define the rules.

Who needs Bhaalspawn essence anyway to become a god? This is much easier!

Sceptenar

Oh yes, the remorhaz. It is the primary reason why you avoid the "mystery meat" served in northern taverns...

elminster

Isn't this thread supposed to be about remorhaz and not trolls?

Lord_Tansheron

elminster said:

Isn't this thread supposed to be about remorhaz and not trolls?

Tomahto, tomeyto.

I can personally vouch that when properly braised and seasoned, troll and remorhaz are practically interchangeable in recipes. Center cuts anyway, the digits tend to have different textures and may be better suited for broiling or grilling.