Random Gems of Wit and Humor in BG1

Mortianna

One of the things that makes BG1 so special for me is the random, witty humor written into many of the non-joinable NPC dialogues. Despite playing BG off-and-on since it first came out in the late 90s, I always seem to discover something new in every playthrough that gives me a good laugh. Today, for example, I happened upon this priceless, culturally-specific "gem" when my PC spoke with a courtesan in the Low Lantern:



I think it's safe to say the original writers had German players in mind for that one (although they went for the phonetic spelling of "Schvantz") ^.^

What are some of your recent BG discoveries-in-humor?

wubble

Not recent but there's always the good old peter of the north and his "wood".

procco

I love it when the NPCs call hobgoblins "knobgoblins"

simples

time to die you ugly knobgoblins

Gallowglass

Zum Nutzen der diejenigen unter uns, die nicht Deutsch sprechen ... perhaps it's worth explaining that schwanz (pronounced "schvantz") is a mildly-vulgar German word for a penis. (But you all guessed that, right?)

Tresset

I have always thought that the funniest character in the series is Charname! I mean look at the dialog Charname gets! Charname knows that he/she is the only sane one in the game and is a total snark to all the bozos and crazy people he/she meets and that is what makes him/her awesome! Charname's Response to Mutamin pretty much sums everything up:

"Is it just me, or is the world filled with wackos? Okay, Mr. Psycho Gnome, I hope you don't take this the wrong way, but we're really not interested in your rock garden." ~charname

But there is more to it than just that! Charname is also a hilarious troll! Especially when they are asked for personal details.

Flaming fist: "Hold! I am a member of the Flaming Fist, and require that you identify yourselves."

Charname: "We're a rampaging horde of tarrasques. Krie! Krie!"

OR

Ted (a hunter): "Hey there, city folks! So what in the name of Lathander takes you so far from home?"

Charname: "We're farmers."

Ted: "I'm not stupid ya know! I might look stupid, but stupid I ain't! Ye're fer sure not farming folk. I think I'll be leaving now."

Charname even gets to say "Cool story, Bro!" to Ted if you choose different dialog options!

Ted: "Hey there, city folks! So what in the name of Lathander takes you so far from home?"

Charname: "We are adventurers."

Ted: "Ye're adventurers? I used to have an uncle who thought of himself as some kind a hero. He had the sword, shield, the whole bit. But he got himself killed, see? He was going off ta kill some sort of beastie with all of his buddies, but something went terribly wrong. I guess this beastie figured out he was coming and set up a trap for him and his friends. So anyhow, there are him and his buddies, trudging through the wilderness on their way to the monster's lair. Then all of a sudden, BAM! SMACK! The monster leaps out and starts ripping off arms and legs. When my pops found his brother, there was nothing left but a big pile of rotting meat."

Charname: "That... was a real cool story..."

kcwise

Neera: "Are we back? Is it over? I smell burning. Am I burning? Are you burning? Something's burning."

Luremaster

The dialogue between Edwin and Baeloth in Larswood is still the greatest thing added by EE, IMO

Tresset

It is hard to notice, but in one of the attack animations of the zombie sprite they take off one of their arms, hit you with it, and then put it back on!

dockaboomski

Portalbendarwinden.
I hold my peace.

Fiendish_Warrior

I was delighted when I ran into Rocky and Bulwinkle, but I also confess that I was instantaneously overwhelmed with a sudden and sadistic urge to inflict mortal harm upon them. I feel ashamed to admit this.

procco

Tresset said:

It is hard to notice, but in one of the attack animations of the zombie sprite they take off one of their arms, hit you with it, and then put it back on!

They also make my favorite death moan when you kill them. The zombie infested farm is probably my favorite side quest in the whole series. By the time I get to it, everyone is pretty leveled up and make practically every zombie explode. The moan combined with the flying zombie chunks is hilarious...in a horrifying way!

Grum

@ Mortianna
I looked schvantz up. I can't believe I didn't see that coming, but you are right, that was funny.

Luremaster

@procco One shot, one kill for every zombie if you do it with a level nine party. Easiest fight in the entire game, by far.

toolarg

Somewhat dumb humor but I liked it, Thalantyr's spell to restore Melicamp is called "Antichickenator"