I am going to go to the other extreme that you tend to see for male armour...
Impossibly heavy... such that if he were a normal man, he'd barely be able to move in it. Even accepting that he is a fantasy warrior blessed with superhuman strength, all those extra spikes and decorations are just impractical. They add extra unnecessary weight, and makes it easier for an enemy to grab you, possibly unbalance you. It's basically the Viking horned helmet myth, but amplified manifold.
lol...know what the funniest thing is about Conan? In the actual stories, he was only ever naked about once or twice, when his tunic was ripped off in a fight. Most of the stories, he wore mail, yet for some reason it's become his trademark to wear nothing but a pair of rawhide underpants.
Studded leather: yep. There is no historical evidence to show that this ever existed, yet D&D (and hence, every fantasy RPG setting that copies D&D) insists that it did. Same with "ringmail", which people believe comes from early depictions at drawing mail in tapestries.
As for big spikes on the pauldrons...bad idea. Very bad idea!! Same with horned helmets that everybody thinks the northmen wore (that's a Warrior of Chaos from the Warhammer games, right?).
Also, I, too, am sorry, but: wide pauldrons, and big spikes in silly places, mean this guy is an ideal candidate.
@bengoshi - And as you yourself can see, that thread is for both genders.
Believe me, I don't want to go that route, but the majority of the content in that thread is about females. So if you really want to check things about Unrealistic Female Armour, that @LadyRhian 's thread is the best place for it.
I'm just pointing out that the weirdly passive-aggressive "now let's see if a thread about MALE armour gets any attention" sentiment in the OP is ungrounded and misdirected. There already is a thread for bad make armour, there's no need to start another one unless just because.
Oh gods and goddesses - I wish I had seen this thread a few hours ago. Im gonna swamo you with loads of gloriously bad male armor. I wade through around 50 - 100 images a day, and most of them are very silly - men as well as women.
You may not know but the original poster is British (worse yet northern) therefore if you are unsure how to read his comments a good start would be sarcasm / dry humour. To us passive aggressive is either mood swings or having such a hard skull you hurt someone's fist.
Comments
Impossibly heavy... such that if he were a normal man, he'd barely be able to move in it. Even accepting that he is a fantasy warrior blessed with superhuman strength, all those extra spikes and decorations are just impractical. They add extra unnecessary weight, and makes it easier for an enemy to grab you, possibly unbalance you. It's basically the Viking horned helmet myth, but amplified manifold.
Lol must be a vanilla issue because I also had an issue with it.
I'm sorry.
Studded leather: yep. There is no historical evidence to show that this ever existed, yet D&D (and hence, every fantasy RPG setting that copies D&D) insists that it did. Same with "ringmail", which people believe comes from early depictions at drawing mail in tapestries.
As for big spikes on the pauldrons...bad idea. Very bad idea!! Same with horned helmets that everybody thinks the northmen wore (that's a Warrior of Chaos from the Warhammer games, right?).
Also, I, too, am sorry, but: wide pauldrons, and big spikes in silly places, mean this guy is an ideal candidate.
There is no "Unrealistic Female Armour" thread.
Any volunteers?
EDIT: Wait, why isn't this an GENDER EQUAL unrealistic armor thread? Bah!
Well, I do find it more… interesting than the other thread that was suggested to me. rofl
Armed to the teeth and packing.... well, you can pretty much see what everyone is packing in this movie, haha
Well, if I have to be the one to make regrettable decisions, than so be it!
I'm throwing myself in front of the bus here!