The inane story of Anduin the Gnome.
Anduin
Member Posts: 5,745
This is my TRUE journal... They will never expect me to have TWO... One that I can leave out for my do goody goody, thief of a, I will force my unwanted presence upon you, friend, to peek at... And this, a scripture of my pure thoughts! Surely, when I am crowned Emperor of Faerun, my adoring subjects will read it and be awed at my many munificent ideas and insights...
Welcome! this is my first published run through of the entire saga! It is a journal, from a lawful evil perspective, recording the adventures of Anduin.
Difficulty settings (in game options):
Insane.
No extra damage.
Full hp on level up.
XP cap removed... If it is actually hit...
Playthrough challenges (outside game/playing style):
No reload. If the main character dies... He dies...
NPCs can be revived by clerics in the team or at temples if not chunked.
The slider remains on insane... running away is a healthy option...
Difficulty settings (in game options):
Insane.
No extra damage.
Full hp on level up.
XP cap removed... If it is actually hit...
Playthrough challenges (outside game/playing style):
No reload. If the main character dies... He dies...
NPCs can be revived by clerics in the team or at temples if not chunked.
The slider remains on insane... running away is a healthy option...
12
Comments
I was a little dismayed that I was teleported in and teleported out... I would have liked to have seen more of the realms and have travelled by coach, horseback. Hell! I would have walked! No matter. I got out of that keep for a while. Belt, was really interested in me... It unnerved me slightly. After a weird chat with him, he started talking about what constitutes an army. Apparently it is is just seven people. Seven. And you will have the full weight of the law and what I consider real armies coming after you if you break this rule... Unless you have filled in the relevant paperwork and asked for mercenarial status... Bah! They are making the people with the possibility of taking power, actually bend the knee and follow the rules of the current power... I will build my own army and take what I want. Although... Maybe, this seven business is actually there to put a cap on the number of wizards and sorcerers in the realms walking about... Seventh son of a seventh son and all that... Does a family of seven count as an army? Yes... This is a clever exercise in power...
Now lets see how much of this palace loot I can take with me!
Anduin is male, gnome, Cleric/Illusionist.
I will be very blunt and honest here. I have not rolled the stats for Anduin. The highest roll I have ever achieved on the roller was 97. I have seen someone roll a 98. I have cheated and then deducted the roll to equal 100. It saves a lot of time. I want to do this, and I would quite happily rolled until my eyes bleed until I got this number. He is a legit gnome. His stats are possible. I have just eased the path towards them. This is also not an overtly challenging run. I'm not incorporating any mods to make it harder. It is more of role-playing run,a journal rewrite, with the challenge set to how I like it.
Charisma was my dump stat. Not for the usual reasons. Anduin has some very easily identifiable and easy to role-play character traits.
- Anduin wishes to assert his authority, his will, over the masses. He actively seeks power, to make himself more powerful.
- Anduin respects and adores people in authority and power, often wishing to emulate them.
- Anduin says what is on his mind... Even if this is probably not the right time to say it.
- Anduin is a coward, if it looks like his friends are going to die, he will run away and let them die.
- Anduin is all bluster. He rarely looks for a fight. He will try and negotiate to get out of a fight.
- Anduin is not a leader. He will tell people what to do... Yet people will often ignore him. Imoen is going to be played as the exact opposite of Anduin and will take Anduin into places he would not normally dare to go...
Anduin then acts very selfishly, a classic Lawful Evil character, although evil with a little 'e'. He is also strong, nimble, resilient, knowledgeable and insightful, yet has the social graces of a brick.
Anduin also firmly believes that Elves are all evil and have been holding back the gnomish race purposefully for millennia. Half-Elves are obviously the result of horrific mental abuse (through charm spells) and even rape, so he feels very sorry for them. In comparison, Half-Orcs and Orcs, traditional enemies of the Elves are a much misunderstood people... He will tell people this... Lowering his charisma score even more...
He is trained to swing a mace and throw a sling. He will be mostly hiding behind his shield...
I grabbed Friends (I thought about charm... But Anduin would have probably had this page torn out of his spellbook by Gorion), Blindness (the most evil of illusions) and Find Familiar as my starting spell.
I have incorporated the tutorial into my story... A little extra xp and loot... Or maybe not...
Bah... Back in Candlekeep. Oh well, lets look at my lovely loot, given to me by the palace hospitatlity... Hey! Where did it go? My star sapphire is gone but they let me keep the shiny pebble that gibberling had? I visit the duchal palace and all I get for my troubles is this lousy leather t-shirt! And where did my walking stick go? Wait! The swords carried by those... Surely... Illusional kobolds were real! Oh my! *Anduin faints*
I hate my life... I hate being at the bottom of the ladder... I've lost my book, fetch me some bolts, my cow is sick, I forgot my sword... AAAAAAAGH! They will all pay one day...
Reevor, the cheek of it, assumed I would be willing to eradicate some vermin, he spoke with such a thick accent, I swear he told me to kill the cats... I knew what he meant... But I killed the cats anyway. The man refused to pay me for my work! Said it was the rats I was supposed to kill... Well... Who would’ve thought? Mwhahaha! Went back in their and killed those rats as well. They do make a funny squelch sound when you squish 'em...
Someone wants me dead? Who? Who could have put a hit out on me? They know... They know I'm a threat to their rule! They are truly wise! But who! Who could want me dead? I can't believe I knocked him unconscious with my bare hands, how could I be so forgetful to arm myself, I almost felt guilty ending him whilst he lay on the floor helpless, but then I remembered the rules of keep. Kill first, resurrect and question later... Well, the plans of those who wish me ill have been foiled so far. Never send a minion to do your killing when you could do the killing yourself. Reevor could learn from this. Perhaps he wants me dead? He did dearly love Fluffy...
Gorion! Gorion wants me dead! He... He has a dagger! Keeps telling me not to worry... But he is going to take me out into the woods, it is going to be dark soon... And... *Gulp* No! I must escape... But I need to leave the keep! So conflicted! I will be brave. He doesn't know that I know! I will use this to my advantage and leg it as soon as I have the chance...
My face! My beautiful face! I would be dead if they had used a normal arrow, but no, they cruelly used an arrow to shatter a vile potion of acid onto my face! My only comfort is that Gorion's plan to kill me failed. His vile henchmen must have thought they could have got more money if they killed me and Gorion.
Well... I just need a place to heal up... I am unsure if I should follow Gorion's plans for me to visit the Friendly Arm Inn, surely he would have set up another ambush... On the other hand, I will never find out who wants me dead... This Khalid... He sounds so evil...
Oh no... She followed me! Will I forever be in the shadow of her bosom... I hate being small sometimes...
I don't know anything about trollops or plugtails! Had the cheek to suggest I had used my sanctuary spell for dubious purposes watching the maids on bath day! I asked her outright if she used her stealth to spy on the lads. I wished I hadn't... The "tall, relatively quickly" comment she made back in the Keep now haunts me... It is a natural and healthy thing to do for young gnomes... On bath day...
So... NOW... I'm wandering the woods as red as a beetroot with a teenage brat regaling tales of past bath days. Curse her!
I went back to check. I had too. And yes. He was dead. Stupid. Stupid. STUPID. I read the letter. Sheltering? Trusting? Let matters run it own course?!? It was apparently harder to hit a moving target. True. I ran as fast as my legs could go... Still, I don't trust this E fellow. Why all the secrecy? Why no full name? No. This letter is a get out clause if Mr. G was caught... All this planning... This... Khalid... Is mentioned again. If this fiend is my enemy and wishes me harm, I will defend myself with force if I must!
If... IF Gorion, wanted to keep me alive, he could have gave me a potion of invisibility, had me memorise sanctuary, find me a place in the catacombs below the keep and have Ulraunt assign a group of readers specialising in wizardy to protect me.
Leave the Keep for my own safety? Rubbish. Gorion, for reasons yet unknown wanted to murder me... Hell, he could have been a Priest of Bhaal in his youth for all I know... Curse him!
I looted the burnt out husks of Gorion's assassins and I now have a scroll of melfs acid arrow... That I will put in my spell book... Yet I cannot cast it yet.
I now need a destination. Yes. Ulraunt, the old buzzard, needs to know of Gorion's treachery, and will most likely offer the protection I need.
...
But... To be trapped, not only by its walls, but under its soil and sod! Woe is me!
...
Imoen, is informing my imp, who has traitorously sparked up a happy relationship with my childhood friend, and has mentioned she caught me in an compromising position with a loofah... I find myself running home.
Anduin is lawful with a small l. He will bend the law or give himself an excuse to do most things, he wants. The keeps policy of kill and resurrect to question later policy and the speech impediment that allowed Anduin's supposition to hear cats and not rats are two clear cases were Anduin needs a validation for his actions. Even in the latter case when in his internal monologue it is revealed he truly understood... If another party judged his actions he could profane innocence and that the instructions given was the negligent action resulting in the death of Fluffy and Tiddles. He truly doesn't care how this would effect Reevor.
A truly chaotic character would not need to justify his or her actions.
I thought about neutral alignments, but Anduin wants power over others. He is anything but neutral. Yet to want power, is as you said, much like Sarevok and at some point will put him in conflict with the current powers that be. Classic chaotic.
Yet... You have not seen enough of Anduin's character to judge him yet.
Wait and see!
Luckily I have stalker who's senses and tracking skills are so sharp, she was able to follow me and pinpoint my location, in the dark, without infra-vision, whilst at the same time avoiding detection by Gorion, myself and those assassins... Now it is her turn to lead her former valuable quarry to safety. I inform her of this. She replies by saying I am all buffle headed. I have no idea what a buffle is, but it is surely a noble beast and I take the compliment gracefully, as is my wont.
...
Turns out Imoen is absolutely useless at directions. We may as well be surrounded by darkness for all our knowledge of the surrounding area. After wandering around uselessly. I use my smarts and head in a general westerly direction. I can hear the surf. We should be able to spot the isthmus that Candlekeep sits upon from the cliff edge.
Disaster. We stumble upon an idiot. Good fortune. He is about to be eaten by a bear. Disaster. Imoen fires an arrow at it. Good fortune. It charges towards her. Disaster. I am standing in between her and the bear.
After chucking away a vast amount of ammo into the surrounding forest, some of it hits the bear and turns it into a lovely bearskin rug.
I tell her straight. I tell her that MY LIFE is not hers to throw away. I then walk straight up to the idiot standing on the cliff edge to demand compensation for our trouble. I stop short, he is staring at the Keep. Watching for something maybe? Perhaps he spied our movements as we left the keep and contacted the group that attacked me! I decide to give him one chance, ONE CHANCE to explain himself!
Okay. Turns out we foiled a suicide bid. How can evolution occur if tools like this are allowed to live and multiply? Surely humankind’s dominance of Faerun is doomed. Imoen is all kindness however, and decides to check that he has no small objects or gold coins on his person, that the twerp could accidentally choke on...
My Imp dives over the cliffs edge and returns to guide us across the natural causeway. Candlekeep draws nearer with each step.
Winthrop will owe me as much ale as I can drink, for keeping his beloved, bear bait, of a daughter safe (and boy do I need a drink). I'm quite surprised I haven't killed her myself... Evolution needs all the help it can get...
I have watched this before from the battlements and have always enjoyed it when some pompous noble gets turned away because their copy of Volo's travels does not cut the mustard... I suddenly have an idea!
I carry a Melf's collectors edition original scroll of acid arrow, with his own notes and diagrams, explaining his thoughts in his own specially conceptualised dragon script font, made exclusively for this enhanced edition scroll...
This is a tome of great value! Well... A page at least...
He doesn't fall for it. Curse him!
Winthrop suddenly appears over the Keeps walls and hails us with a smile, telling us not to worry, this is the illiterate route for the common man and lowers a rope. The Gatewarden starts to whistle while pretending to tighten a buckle on his greaves, ignoring Winthrop's obvious security breach. He dangles it above my head giggling. I think about jumping for it... Dreppin joins him and starts guffawing, before shouting jump, jump, jump. It turns into a raucous chant as the battlements fill with familiar faces. Hull, Fuller, Jondilar and Erik beam down at me clapping and jeering. Even Phylidia and a few of the Readers join in. I know what will happen, being the only damn gnome in the keep, I know only too well. I do it anyway and follow the laws of convention. I jump for the rope and it is tugged just out of reach. Laughter breaks out.
I desperately look for some support... I spot Reevor the dwarf. Hoho! He wont put up with this kinda thing for long! Good ol' Reevor! Then I remember what I did to Fluffy and Tiddles... He looks angry. He brandishes his axe and I dodge aside as he spits at me. I jump again reaching up. I lose balance and fall in a heap. I can feel my cheeks burning, turning the colour of radishes.
Imoen saves me. She runs at the wall, jumps onto it, before leaping from it and spinning one arm through and around the rope and grabbing it. Winthrop who was attempting to pull it clear, chuckles in surprise. Cheers resound around me. She waves once for silence. Before somersaulting and landing next to me. "Tell them Anduin." she whispers. The Gatewarden puts his hand on my shoulder. I understand.
I shout it. MY FATHER GORION IS DEAD! The faces looking down at me are silenced into dismay. I wanted to say more, but I'm rudely cut short by Imoen, who stands in front of me explaining that we will bring his murderers to justice. What! He, HE IS THE TRAITOR... HE TRIED TO MURDER ME! I'm so enraged, that I stand their sullen, mute and shaking with anger.
The rope is pulled up. I'm wished good fortune. A bottle of ale and sandwiches are dropped down and prayers for our safe return are made, before I find myself heading away from safety and back towards the woods and the dangers beyond...
To the Friendly Arm Inn it is then. Time to meet this Khalid... AND HE WILL PAY DEARLY!
"Thank you Imoen your help has been... invaluable." I try not to grimace, she simply nods. "Errm... I go into great danger. You can go back if you wish... Not that I, errm, want you to go back... Because I'd be all alone, but..." My Imp decides this is the best time to land on my shoulder and stare accusingly at me from point blank range. I'm unaware of Imps having innate abilities involving their eyes, but I feel my cheeks beginning to burn nonetheless. I heroically press on. "Assassins want me dead and I fear that we are walking into a trap. I cannot in good conscious take you with me, to your possible death. I should do this alone. I can do this alone. I... I don't need you."
Imoen, pauses and looks back at me with concern before a smile slowly blossoms across her face. I find myself, unbidden smiling back.
My Imp decides to break the spell by spitting the words "But you'd take me ya prick!" into my face before flapping off in disgust.
Imoen steps forward and produces a handkerchief to wipe away the flem "Well...that's just fine! But even though you might not think so, you need me. SO despite anything you say, I'm coming with you. So there!" My face polished, she sticks her tongue out at me and skips on.
My Imp suddenly screeches back. "Boss! Gibberling ahead!"
"Well done Fellatio, my trusty Imp! We will sneak up and attack it while it is una-"
The battle-cry "Heya! It's me Imoen!" followed by the sickening thud of an arrow, tells me, that I'm a little slow to the call...
Sheepishly, I wander forwards... To find the gibberling still alive! I spin my sling and BANG! Straight in the wotsits!
Yay! I'm a killer! I high five Fellatio and Imoen pats me on the head... I'm going to be okay. I'm going to be okay. I wander onwards with a strut in my stride.
Not a day goes by without Fellatio popping up to say hello.
It is a Latin word meaning to suck. Tell that to the wife! I'm sure she will be impressed!
Then I start thinking...
My step-father has been killed.
He loved me so much he hired assassins to kill me.
My face has been dowsed in acid leaving me scarred.
And I am walking into a trap that will most probably end with my death at the hands of Khalid...
My stride falters... Then I purposefully pick it up again. Nothing will get me down. I'm not gonna frown!
Two strangers are milling on the path ahead. The short one purposefully shows the sword at his side, then places his hands, in an over exaggerated stretch, on top of his head. I read the intention clear as day. We don't wish to cause you harm, but we can if we must. Not assassins then.
I follow suit. Positivity. I can't live in fear of everyone just because I've met a few assassins who want me dead... I stick my hand out to shake the tall one in green.
In return... He calls me a child and questions my intellect...
Positivity gone to be replaced with raw angst. HOW VERY DARE HE!!! I start ranting whilst thinking about enacting frontier law I AM A GNOME AN- Imoen cuts me short by stepping in front of me and introduces herself. I productively spend the time thinking about murdering him in many painful ways.
Whilst I seethe, they offer a potion of healing... Then they ask US if they can join our party.
Imoen explains very briefly about a journey to meet friends at the Friendly Arm Inn... They agree to go with us... They all turn to me for the nod to say if it is okay. The halfling looks at me and holds his hands in the air as if to apologise for his human. I glance at Imoen and roll my eyes. He smiles. Us shorties have got to look after our humans. "Okay then. You can come with us."
We get to know each other... I fall into step with Montaron. I quickly learn that his human Xzar is a necromancer... A lesser school of magic, and should be forgiven for his excessive ignorance. He also is quite plainly nuts. Montaron asks me what is wrong with my human. I wish to say an unhealthy fascination with loose women and plugtails... But this would take to much explanation. I simply say aggravating chirpyness.
The hours pass quickly as we head towards the Inn. We meet a messanger called Binkos who mentions something about caravans being raided and a strange old man who asked about my mental state. I would have told him to go spin on his pointy hat, but Imoen was kind and actually got some useful directions from the chap.
How useful these are going to be since he then wandered north of us before about turning and walking back towards us before continuing along the path towards Candlekeep. Odd is being kind.
Clearly quite senile, probably end up a gibberling snack... Someone is going to feel bad not putting gramps in a home with stimulating company. Bah... Not my problem.
After bumping into senile grandpa, we proceeded in haste to the inn, stone markers seemed to back up his directions and we soon saw a fortified keep...
Then we were ambushed... By dogs.
You need to respect them. They encircled us easily, like rounding up sheep I suppose... And I felt sheepish. Outsmarted by a dog... We used ranged weaponry to keep away from those teeth, however Xzar was rushed and looked like he was going to be dog chow. Monty bravely stepped in and even allowed the jaws of one dog to lock around his arm, just to allow him to plunge his shortsword into its nethers...
Fellatio starts muttering about beast masters and outcast druids... I laugh it off. They would have used Bears you impecile!
After pausing to chat to the guards about the laws within the keep... And I would call it such... We enter.
Although smaller than Candlekeep, it has a central keep, surrounded by a solid wall. Ha! No need to own a valuable tome of great value... No! Beer tokens, known as gold coins in this part of the world, is what you need!
Then I remember, I am about to meet Khalid... And possibly death... I prepare my weapons...
...
Yep. Just killed a random wizard on the steps to the supposedly Friendly Arm Inn. Everyone is fine with it, though... He tried to kill you... Don't worry about it... Real sorry about that...
Yet he died so easily... I hit him with my sling, but then it is quite hard to tell who got the killing blow due to Imoen releasing an arrow at point blank range into his left eyeball after Monty plunged his sword up to his wrist into his navel...
Okay he was trying to kill me... But not in the same league as those that took down Gorion...
He said he was going to take me to Khalid and Jaheira. I realise he meant dead... I rush the steps two at a time to face my nemesis... I will not be afraid!
No... She was probably worried about them becoming collateral damage...
...
I see him... A half-Orc... He towers above the clientele... His armour has changed... But this is the man who slayed Gorion. I tighten my grip around my mace... and... and watch Imoen go up to him with a cheery "Hiya!"
...
I stare slack jawed for a moment, as the obviously, not-khalid, half-orc looks at our party in an oblivious manner and then tries to get Imoen to fetch him a drink.
Imoen, gives a sardonic reply, before giving me an over theatrical wink, and going on to asking the bar staff about the where abouts of the mysterious Khalid and Jaheira...
The serving wench points... The human... No... The half-elf sits, his piercing eyes are already focused on me... I return his gaze unflinching. I stride towards him. He reaches for a weapon... No. He... gently wakes a colleague. Jaheira? He stands before me. I stand before him.
He stutters... He chews through his sentence as if it is barbed wire. I am immediately disarmed. How can this be a killer? A murderer? This is no trap... What horrors does his childhood contain... Half-elf... Those trice cursed elves... They do not fool me... Pure evil... How can an elf father a child with a human... To watch their own flesh and blood, grow, age and die before their eyes, whilst they hardly age at all... Evil... Imoen joins me... So does Fellatio, Monty and Xzar
He speaks...
What is the freakin deal! A child? A CHILD ! ! ! I AM A GNOME ! ! ! CURSE YOOOOOUUU ! ! !
...
And Gorion had a great beard... Naturally I copied his style... No biggy...