Haha yeah I had this problem too. Eventually I went to Ulgoth's Beard and talked to the guy supposed to send you to the tower in the first place, and then I went "but why did they move it, that change wasn't needed" and felt like an old grumpy guy who sits on his porch and waves fingers at kids with their music that isn't music.
Another change I've noticed is the map with the Golem cave now can only be accessed from the map with Captain Brage. Before, you could open this map from the map with Bassilus. Is it intended as well?
I have discovered that it is NOT necessary to speak to the dwarf at Ulgoth's Beard to get there. The information above looks correct. However, speaking to the dwarf does put the tower on the map, but greyed out. At least that gives you some kind of hint how to get there. I have been informed that it was moved to make room on the worldmap for Dragonspear. Whether or not that is true, I don't know. However thanks for the help.
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So, got to Beregost, east to Temple, east again to Basilisk area, and then east a final time.
Another change I've noticed is the map with the Golem cave now can only be accessed from the map with Captain Brage. Before, you could open this map from the map with Bassilus. Is it intended as well?