[UNOFFICIAL] Ask Hexxat Anything
Sasayaki
Member Posts: 137
Hexxat: Like it says, guys. Ask me anything.
Note from @LiamEsler: This thread is unofficial and is purely for fan-fun. Only blue-tinged posts are by Overhaul.
Note from @LiamEsler: This thread is unofficial and is purely for fan-fun. Only blue-tinged posts are by Overhaul.
Post edited by LiamEsler on
16
Comments
Hexxat: More seriously, I guess it depends on how nicely you ask.
Hexxat: Okay, here goes. Firstly: I am a first rate thief. My stats are perfect for my class, and there's no wishy-washy, diluted multiclassing happening here. I am a pure class thief, and I do what I do like nobody else can.
Hexxat: Secondly, my banters. Seriously, this stuff is the best! My voice actress really bought me to life. I always have something to say, no matter what's going on around me. You should see me and Korgan go at it. The trick isn't getting me to talk, the trick's figuring out how to make me shut up!
Hexxat: Lastly... I have my own quest, and it's really awesome. It's more sad than anything else, but that's the core of good writing; eliciting an emotional response. It's not sappy like Aerie's ("waaah my wings are gone!" Sheesh, enough already, we know!), and it's not melodramatic like Jaheera's. It's more like Vinconia's romance, really. Sad, but... kind of cool. If you don't have room in your party for this cat, a hex upon you!
Hexxat: The simple answer is: it's complicated.
Hexxat: It all depends on the kind of person you are. If you're the family kind, then your purpose is to settle down with someone you love, make as many kids as you can stand, and then live a fat and happy life surrounded by that which makes you really happy.
Hexxat: Not everyone's like that though. I'm certainly not.
Hexxat: For some people, all they need is adventure. A life with purpose, where you learn and grow.
Hexxat: You're that kind of person, I think. You're adventuresome. You've always got somewhere to go, something to do. You're brave.
Hexxat: You know what happens to brave people, though?
Hexxat: They die.
Hexxat: Look, I don't want to talk about this any more, okay? Just... just try to live your life as best you can, and to your own self be true.
Hexxat: But seriously, thanks!
Hexxat: Nothing.
Hexxat: It sounds weird, but it's true. My greatest success as a thief was the day I stole nothing at all.
Hexxat: I wasn't always this good. At the thief's craft, I mean. I had to start somewhere. I got my start in the slums, as most of us do. When you're born into crushing poverty and your little sister's crying because she's hungry, and there's no food, you'll do a lot of crazy things. Let's just say that pretty girls do a lot worse to get by.
Hexxat: Anyway, I lifted the occasional purse, nothing more than that. Just what we needed. One day, though... I stole from a man named Al'Rakkam. If you've ever been to Calimshan, you'd know that name. The greatest thief in the whole city.
Hexxat: I was frightened, too. Don't look at me like that, you would be too if you were holding over a thousand pieces of Al'Rakkam's gold. My sister and I went into hiding, but I realised something that first night, something that would change my life forever.
Hexxat: I had an out.
Hexxat: If I got caught stealing, this purse of gold would pay for a bribe. I could try for greater things, harder marks, and if it went sour my sister and I would be okay.
Hexxat: So I trained. I studied the marks. I went from a passable thief to one of the best around. I made a name for myself. My sister and I lived in luxury.
Hexxat: And I never got caught. That bag of gold I kept on me all those years, using it to inspire me. Soon a thousand gold was nothing to me, but I always knew where it came from. So I went to return it.
Hexxat: So I arranged a meeting with Al'Rakkam. I explained the situation and offered him the gold back.
Hexxat: I don't know what I was expecting. Maybe he'd be angry. Maybe he'd be insulted. Maybe he'd offer my head to the local Pasha.
Hexxat: Instead, he offered me a job.
Hexxat: It had all been a big test. I hadn't "stolen" it at all; he'd practically dropped it in my hands. I should have known. And the thing was, he'd given away hundreds of the same pouches, all to promising thieves. A kind of... master-thief scholarship. I'd been the first to return it.
Hexxat: I wasn't the last, though.
Jan Jansen: That's a nice story, but I think it would have been better with-
Hexxat: Yeah. I know. Don't say it.
Jaheira: But wait, Hexxat. Khalid was from Calimshan and never once did he tell me of this... Al'Rakkam.
Hexxat: Look. Maybe I changed a few of the details, but that story was basically true... for someone. I don't want to talk about this any more. Just remember that it's not what you stole that matters, it's why, and what effect that had on your life. The rest is just... well, just bragging. Banter for taverns and inns, nothing more.
Hexxat: I mean, seriously. She goes on and on about the terrible racism that she's endured as a drow, but doesn't think to stop it with the racial slurs for even half a second? Only days after almost being burned at the stake and, get this, saved by a bunch of surface dwellers? Sheesh... that's gratitude for you.
Hexxat: And no comment. Let's just say that he got what he deserved, in my opinion. If he was stupid enough to get a geas put on him, well... it's hard to be sympathetic.
Hexxat: Well, I don't know. I mean, if you play through Baldur's Gate now, and you have Viconia in your party, that's real to you. But if I play through, and I murder that skank because I can't stand her whining about how the daylight burns her eyes, then that's real to me.
Hexxat: I suppose what I'm trying to say is that what's real is axomatic but relative. What's real to you is real, because it's real to you. If you think I'm the real Hexxat... then I am. But I'm not the *only* Hexxat.
Hexxat: Besides. You're asking a professional thief a hard question and expecting an honest answer? C'mon.
Hexxat: Look. She's a great cleric. I get that. And, let's face it, Shar is a pretty sweet deity. So you'd think we'd get along like a house on fire.
Jaheira: Not literally, one would hope.
Hexxat: Uh, no. Of course... not. No. Never.
Hexxat: But, yeah. The problem is -- Viconia's the worst kind of liar. A bad one.
Hexxat: Her whole story about coming to the surface smells funny to me, and I'm someone who spent their childhood lying and being lied to, so I know the liars when I see them. She admitted that she made up the story with the farmers. She went into such detail, and spoke with such passion, that pretty much everyone was taken in. And I mean everyone.
Hexxat: What did she have to gain from that? What's her angle? There's no gold. No jewels she could pilfer from it. Her obvious deception didn't earn her a dented copper. So why did she lie?
Hexxat: I think she just enjoyed the attention.
Hexxat: Lying for profit I can understand, especially when you're on the clock. Lying to save your hide, I can get that too. But I don't understand why Viconia lied about the farmers, because there's no gain to it. There's just no *reason*.
Hexxat: And if she's willing to lie about that... maybe that baby thing never happened at all.
Viconia: Your musings about my motivations amuse me, rivel. You are as a wagon stuck in mud; the beast that is your mind strains and pulls, whipped by some unseen driver, but you only exhaust yourself.
Hexxat: Is everything a joke to you, Vikkie?
Viconia: Vikkie? That's a nickname worthy of a dark spot in the Demonweb Pits, Hexxat.
Hexxat: Maybe I'll see you there, you white haired harlot!
Viconia: I would hope so. I certainly wouldn't want to go to the celestial realms when I pass. Better to rule in the pit, as they say...
Hexxat: The only thing you'll rule is the buffet stand. You're really letting yourself go.
Viconia: You misunderstand. The Crom Feyr sets my strength to 25. That kind of strength just can't happen without a commiserate increase in muscle mass-
Hexxat: Fatty fatty dark elf!
Viconia: Oh, such a wounding wit. How*ever* will I recover from the childish taunts of a simpering street dwelling guttersnipe who dares to crawl beyond her station?
Hexxat: That full plate does make you look fat though. Just saying.
Hexxat: So yeah. I guess it's theoretically possible for CHARNAME to be the meat in this action-girl sandwich, but let's be honest here, I don't think they make beds large enough to accommodate a certain dark elven backside.
Viconia: I told you, it is just the warham-
Hexxat: Jeez, you're a bigger stick in the mud than Keldorn sometimes.