Warning: This isn't a 'bad' NPC in the style of Saerileth. His terribleness is actually acknowledged ingame, he isn't intended to be particularly poorly written and his attempts to hog the storyline can be dismissed by the player if they so choose. There's only one catch.
He is...
Abdel Adrian
Alignment: True Neutral
Race: Human Bhaalspawn
Class: Fighter, has the ability to turn into the Slayer.
A fellow Bhaalspawn who claims to be the true Ward of Gorion. Despite his obvious psychosis and worryingly voracious sex drive, his strength and hardiness is unparalleled. He also seems possess a great deal of charm, for such is the force of his conviction that even your companions occasionally find themselves wondering whether he truly does hail from Candlekeep. What his many assertions mean for you seems to vary with the telling. Occasionally you are a mercenary hired by Irenicus to sully his good reputation, other times you are a pawn of the Harpers attempting to manipulate him into joining the side of good.
Interactions:
All good and neutral followers treat him with disdain, annoyance or contempt due to his outlandish claims, especially Imoen. However, occasionally his magnetism causes them to have a few doubts-with the obvious exception of Imoen who is highly offended by his claims that she cannot remember him due to torture from Irenicus. Furthermore, if you are not romancing Jaheira he will eventually succeed in beginning a relationship with her.
Evil followers either share this disdain or attempt to manipulate him, depending on their nature.
He has quite a few dialogues with the player, where he has charming conversations such as an attempt to persuade the player to give up their divine essence to him or leave the party altogether. The player can antagonise him, attempt to pacify him or manipulate him.
Endings:
If he hates you, he will attack you after the final boss in ToB to decide once and for all who is worthy of the Throne. Once defeated, you will have to also defeat his Slayer form.
If you have kowtowed to him throughout or manipulated him, he will attempt to coerce you into giving up the power. If your mental stat total exceeds 48, you can persuade him into backing down. If not, he will become furious and attack you.
Epilogues:
If he is dead, he is dead. Honestly, you people. :P
If you became a God, he will 'return' to Candlekeep and be confronted with the truth: whatever his origin, he is certainly not Gorion's Ward. Horrified by this revelation, he will go on another epic journey to discover the truth. His fate is unknown, but some whisper that he killed himself after realising how consumed he was by a false past, a false identity.
If you did not become a God, he will 'return' to Candlekeep and be confronted with the truth: whatever his origin, he is certainly not Gorion's Ward. Horrified by this revelation, he will go on another epic journey to discover the truth. He will struggle until you decide to help him (if you were nice to him, out of generosity. If you manipulated him, out of boredom). After he discovers the truth, he will join the Flaming Fist and eventually become Grand Duke of Baldur's Gate. With the aid of Jaheira he rules comfortably for over a century due to his divine blood. He dies killing Viekang and with the ascendance of two thirds of Bhaal's divine essence, the God of Murder rises again.
There. This even manages to tie the games into official canon without killing you off!
1: I didn't want to mess up the game too much. Forcibly losing a companion in ToB could be crippling.
2: Adding a cutscene where Abazigal kills Jaheira removes player agency. I wanted to come up with a character that would be incredibly annoying/frustrating but I wanted to make it of credible quality and thus cutscene incompetence would run contrary to that desire.
3: You think I've actually read the novels!? I'm not that masochistic, seriously. :P
1: I didn't want to mess up the game too much. Forcibly losing a companion in ToB could be crippling.
2: Adding a cutscene where Abazigal kills Jaheira removes player agency. I wanted to come up with a character that would be incredibly annoying/frustrating but I wanted to make it of credible quality and thus cutscene incompetence would run contrary to that desire.
3: You think I've actually read the novels!? I'm not that masochistic, seriously. :P
Honestly, were they published in Brazil, Philip Athans would have been arrested for mysogyny, if not gross sexual misconduct. You'd do well not to touch them.
In the books, Abdel was a man who drove women wild with lust - basically, every woman, including Bodhi, wanted him, or rather, his pork sword. At the start of the book, I vaguely remember him being completely naked and walking around Athkatla, or something like that.
By describing Charname as some Conan-lite and writing in those halfway-lewd passages, the story became immensely shallow and on hindsight, it felt much like badly-written fan fiction. Partly because of them, I never progressed beyond the Bhaalspawn saga, since it is considered canon.
Quoting Dorothy Parker, those are books not to be tossed aside lightly. They should be thrown with great force.
Alright. Found this. This is an example of the t**d in the novelization. It is really THAT bad. He should have contributed to the Saerileth mod.
Abdel turned around and flinched away from a slender branch that almost caught him in the eye. The brush and trees were thick. He couldn't see Jaheira's face but could see her swatting at something. The half-elf woman took a step backward and yipped again. Abdel shouldered his way through the vegetation to her and asked, "What is it?"
Jaheira didn't answer him at first. She just proceeded to remove her leather armor.
"What are you doing?" Abdel asked again, dumbfounded.
Jaheira managed to say "Spider," and sort of hop-stepped in place as she got her bustier off. Her undershirt was loose, and she started to shake it. She made a rather convincing Calishite dancing girl. Abdel smiled in spite of his worry, still not sure what was going on.
"Are you all right back there?" Xan called from somewhere in the thick vegetation.
"I think Jaheira's run afoul of a—" Abdel started, then was interrupted by a pained yelp from Jaheira.
"Oh gods," she cried, "it bit me—it's biting me!"
A tear burst from her eye, and Abdel stopped smiling. She was trying to pull her blouse off, and he helped her. The fabric tore away with an echoing sound, and Abdel swatted the spider from between Jaheira's exposed breasts before either of them realized what he was doing. The spider jumped nimbly onto Abdel's right hand, and the sellsword slapped it with his left, leaving only a crinkling of legs in a brown spot.
"It went right—" Jaheira started to say. Abdel looked up at her, naked from the waist up, and his mouth came open. He'd never seen anything so— She clapped her hands across her chest and turned away. Even through her shoulder—length hair Abdel could see her neck blush bright red.
"I'm sorry," he said. "It's—"
"What's going on back there?" Xan asked. Abdel heard the elf approaching. Even Xan couldn't be quiet in this trailless mass of weed and tree.
"It's all right," Jaheira called, and the footfalls stopped.
Abdel realized he was still holding Jaheira's torn blouse. He held it out to her bashfully. She paused, turning her head slightly toward him, but he couldn't see her eyes.
"Keep up please," Xan remarked testily, and though Abdel still couldn't see the elf, he heard Xan turn and walkaway, in the direction the ghoul was leading them.
Jaheira waited a few seconds, also listening to Xan's receding footfalls, then she turned and reached for the blouse. Her hands came away from her body, and her eyes met Abdel's. They stood there for what seemed like a lifetime, their fingers intertwined with each other's in the smooth silk of the torn blouse. Jaheira let go first, reluctantly, and Abdel, maybe more reluctantly, turned and walked on, leaving her to dress alone.
At least, now we know that Jaheira has awesome boobs. Basically, this is how to seduce a girl, Forgotten Realms canon-style (AHEM!)
1. Flick a live spider into the girl's cleavage. 2. As she hops around, take off her clothes. 3. Swat her breasts. Literally. It is titillating.
Good heavens. It's not even that the stuff he's writing about is awful, even his sentence structure makes me queasy. How the devil did this get published?
Good heavens. It's not even that the stuff he's writing about is awful, even his sentence structure makes me queasy. How the devil did this get published?
I dunno, but the trend still exists. We have garbage like Fifty Shades and Fallout: Equestria, which are also fanfics of a sort, and also terrible (say what you will about 50 Shades, at least it doesn't have horse sex.)
This thread is...a glorious abomination. Like some sort of gibbering mouther, but with 20 Charisma. The most fearsome of Tzimisce fleshcrafts. A slaaneshi daemon, utterly beautiful but somehow, in the end you're on the ground surrounded by tears and vomit.
Comments
Give me a minute and I'll make up a character biography and stat sheet for him.
He is...
Abdel Adrian
Alignment: True Neutral
Race: Human Bhaalspawn
Class: Fighter, has the ability to turn into the Slayer.
Stats:
Strength: 18/00
Dexterity: 19
Constitution: 19
Intellect: 7
Wisdom: 6
Charisma: 18
Biography:
A fellow Bhaalspawn who claims to be the true Ward of Gorion. Despite his obvious psychosis and worryingly voracious sex drive, his strength and hardiness is unparalleled. He also seems possess a great deal of charm, for such is the force of his conviction that even your companions occasionally find themselves wondering whether he truly does hail from Candlekeep. What his many assertions mean for you seems to vary with the telling. Occasionally you are a mercenary hired by Irenicus to sully his good reputation, other times you are a pawn of the Harpers attempting to manipulate him into joining the side of good.
Interactions:
All good and neutral followers treat him with disdain, annoyance or contempt due to his outlandish claims, especially Imoen. However, occasionally his magnetism causes them to have a few doubts-with the obvious exception of Imoen who is highly offended by his claims that she cannot remember him due to torture from Irenicus. Furthermore, if you are not romancing Jaheira he will eventually succeed in beginning a relationship with her.
Evil followers either share this disdain or attempt to manipulate him, depending on their nature.
He has quite a few dialogues with the player, where he has charming conversations such as an attempt to persuade the player to give up their divine essence to him or leave the party altogether. The player can antagonise him, attempt to pacify him or manipulate him.
Endings:
If he hates you, he will attack you after the final boss in ToB to decide once and for all who is worthy of the Throne. Once defeated, you will have to also defeat his Slayer form.
If you have kowtowed to him throughout or manipulated him, he will attempt to coerce you into giving up the power. If your mental stat total exceeds 48, you can persuade him into backing down. If not, he will become furious and attack you.
Epilogues:
If he is dead, he is dead. Honestly, you people. :P
If you became a God, he will 'return' to Candlekeep and be confronted with the truth: whatever his origin, he is certainly not Gorion's Ward. Horrified by this revelation, he will go on another epic journey to discover the truth. His fate is unknown, but some whisper that he killed himself after realising how consumed he was by a false past, a false identity.
If you did not become a God, he will 'return' to Candlekeep and be confronted with the truth: whatever his origin, he is certainly not Gorion's Ward. Horrified by this revelation, he will go on another epic journey to discover the truth. He will struggle until you decide to help him (if you were nice to him, out of generosity. If you manipulated him, out of boredom). After he discovers the truth, he will join the Flaming Fist and eventually become Grand Duke of Baldur's Gate. With the aid of Jaheira he rules comfortably for over a century due to his divine blood. He dies killing Viekang and with the ascendance of two thirds of Bhaal's divine essence, the God of Murder rises again.
There. This even manages to tie the games into official canon without killing you off!
Err... How can Jaheira aid him in the ruling of Baldur's Gate if the novels state she was murdered by Abazigal?
2: Adding a cutscene where Abazigal kills Jaheira removes player agency. I wanted to come up with a character that would be incredibly annoying/frustrating but I wanted to make it of credible quality and thus cutscene incompetence would run contrary to that desire.
3: You think I've actually read the novels!? I'm not that masochistic, seriously. :P
I'm so sorry. Please, just forget you ever read that. Don't try and imagine what such a pairing would entail. For the good of all of us...
By describing Charname as some Conan-lite and writing in those halfway-lewd passages, the story became immensely shallow and on hindsight, it felt much like badly-written fan fiction. Partly because of them, I never progressed beyond the Bhaalspawn saga, since it is considered canon.
Quoting Dorothy Parker, those are books not to be tossed aside lightly. They should be thrown with great force.
Abdel turned around and flinched away from a slender branch that almost caught him in the eye. The brush and trees were thick. He couldn't see Jaheira's face but could see her swatting at something. The half-elf woman took a step backward and yipped again. Abdel shouldered his way through the vegetation to her and asked, "What is it?"
Jaheira didn't answer him at first. She just proceeded to remove her leather armor.
"What are you doing?" Abdel asked again, dumbfounded.
Jaheira managed to say "Spider," and sort of hop-stepped in place as she got her bustier off. Her undershirt was loose, and she started to shake it. She made a rather convincing Calishite dancing girl. Abdel smiled in spite of his worry, still not sure what was going on.
"Are you all right back there?" Xan called from somewhere in the thick vegetation.
"I think Jaheira's run afoul of a—" Abdel started, then was interrupted by a pained yelp from Jaheira.
"Oh gods," she cried, "it bit me—it's biting me!"
A tear burst from her eye, and Abdel stopped smiling. She was trying to pull her blouse off, and he helped her. The fabric tore away with an echoing sound, and Abdel swatted the spider from between Jaheira's exposed breasts before either of them realized what he was doing. The spider jumped nimbly onto Abdel's right hand, and the sellsword slapped it with his left, leaving only a crinkling of legs in a brown spot.
"It went right—" Jaheira started to say. Abdel looked up at her, naked from the waist up, and his mouth came open. He'd never seen anything so— She clapped her hands across her chest and turned away. Even through her shoulder—length hair Abdel could see her neck blush bright red.
"I'm sorry," he said. "It's—"
"What's going on back there?" Xan asked. Abdel heard the elf approaching. Even Xan couldn't be quiet in this trailless mass of weed and tree.
"It's all right," Jaheira called, and the footfalls stopped.
Abdel realized he was still holding Jaheira's torn blouse. He held it out to her bashfully. She paused, turning her head slightly toward him, but he couldn't see her eyes.
"Keep up please," Xan remarked testily, and though Abdel still couldn't see the elf, he heard Xan turn and walkaway, in the direction the ghoul was leading them.
Jaheira waited a few seconds, also listening to Xan's receding footfalls, then she turned and reached for the blouse. Her hands came away from her body, and her eyes met Abdel's. They stood there for what seemed like a lifetime, their fingers intertwined with each other's in the smooth silk of the torn blouse. Jaheira let go first, reluctantly, and Abdel, maybe more reluctantly, turned and walked on, leaving her to dress alone.
At least, now we know that Jaheira has awesome boobs. Basically, this is how to seduce a girl, Forgotten Realms canon-style (AHEM!)
1. Flick a live spider into the girl's cleavage.
2. As she hops around, take off her clothes.
3. Swat her breasts. Literally. It is titillating.
I fully support this mod.