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The inane story of Anduin the Gnome.

AnduinAnduin Member Posts: 5,745
This is my TRUE journal... They will never expect me to have TWO... One that I can leave out for my do goody goody, thief of a, I will force my unwanted presence upon you, friend, to peek at... And this, a scripture of my pure thoughts! Surely, when I am crowned Emperor of Faerun, my adoring subjects will read it and be awed at my many munificent ideas and insights...

Welcome! this is my first published run through of the entire saga! It is a journal, from a lawful evil perspective, recording the adventures of Anduin.

Difficulty settings (in game options):
No extra damage.
Full hp on level up.
XP cap removed... If it is actually hit...

Playthrough challenges (outside game/playing style):
No reload. If the main character dies... He dies...
NPCs can be revived by clerics in the team or at temples if not chunked.
The slider remains on insane... running away is a healthy option...



  • lolienlolien Member, Moderator, Translator (NDA) Posts: 3,083
    I'm happy to see a playthrough from you @Anduin . Good start.

  • BelgarathMTHBelgarathMTH Member Posts: 5,450
    This is a great story run, but the guy reads as chaotic evil to me. He kills just for the sheer pleasure of it, even when there's no advantage in it, and he seeks absolute power and rule over others by any means possible, while following random whims and not having even a semblance of a personal code or any desire for order. Like Sarevok. Chaotic evil.

  • FinnTheHumanFinnTheHuman Member Posts: 404
    Anduin said:

    Well... What a mess. Due to Gorion's treachery, I was wandering the woods with a teenage brat hooked on hearing stories about trollops using buttplugs. [...]

    Talk about a mess. There's coffee all over my computer now after reading that while drinking. I really should have known better.

  • FinnTheHumanFinnTheHuman Member Posts: 404
    @anduin, great story, but i am a little confused. I don't get Fellatio. What is Fellatio? Where does Fellatio come from? I asked my wife about it, since she's more knowlegable about this sort of stuff and she said "sorry, i can't help you there." Does Fellatio follow you around everywhere you go?

  • AnduinAnduin Member Posts: 5,745
    I thought it was clear @FinnTheHuman . Fellatio is my Imp. He/She/It follows me everywhere.

    Not a day goes by without Fellatio popping up to say hello.

    It is a Latin word meaning to suck. Tell that to the wife! I'm sure she will be impressed!

    I did try to use a variation on the name, but the spellchecker really didn't want me to change it...

  • FinnTheHumanFinnTheHuman Member Posts: 404
    Ohhh, thanks. I get Fellatio now. Your such a cunning linguist. :blush:

  • AnduinAnduin Member Posts: 5,745
    I do try hard to please... Now back to the story!

  • AnduinAnduin Member Posts: 5,745
    edited April 2016
    I'm strutting through the forest. Yeah! Imoen has gone quiet on me... Life is bliss!

    Then I start thinking...

    My step-father has been killed.
    He loved me so much he hired assassins to kill me.
    My face has been dowsed in acid leaving me scarred.
    And I am walking into a trap that will most probably end with my death at the hands of Khalid...

    My stride falters... Then I purposefully pick it up again. Nothing will get me down. I'm not gonna frown!

    Two strangers are milling on the path ahead. The short one purposefully shows the sword at his side, then places his hands, in an over exaggerated stretch, on top of his head. I read the intention clear as day. We don't wish to cause you harm, but we can if we must. Not assassins then.

    I follow suit. Positivity. I can't live in fear of everyone just because I've met a few assassins who want me dead... I stick my hand out to shake the tall one in green.


    In return... He calls me a child and questions my intellect...

    Positivity gone to be replaced with raw angst. HOW VERY DARE HE!!! I start ranting whilst thinking about enacting frontier law I AM A GNOME AN- Imoen cuts me short by stepping in front of me and introduces herself. I productively spend the time thinking about murdering him in many painful ways.

    Whilst I seethe, they offer a potion of healing... Then they ask US if they can join our party.

    Imoen explains very briefly about a journey to meet friends at the Friendly Arm Inn... They agree to go with us... They all turn to me for the nod to say if it is okay. The halfling looks at me and holds his hands in the air as if to apologise for his human. I glance at Imoen and roll my eyes. He smiles. Us shorties have got to look after our humans. "Okay then. You can come with us."

    We get to know each other... I fall into step with Montaron. I quickly learn that his human Xzar is a necromancer... A lesser school of magic, and should be forgiven for his excessive ignorance. He also is quite plainly nuts. Montaron asks me what is wrong with my human. I wish to say an unhealthy fascination with loose women and plugtails... But this would take to much explanation. I simply say aggravating chirpyness.


    The hours pass quickly as we head towards the Inn. We meet a messanger called Binkos who mentions something about caravans being raided and a strange old man who asked about my mental state. I would have told him to go spin on his pointy hat, but Imoen was kind and actually got some useful directions from the chap.



    How useful these are going to be since he then wandered north of us before about turning and walking back towards us before continuing along the path towards Candlekeep. Odd is being kind.

    Clearly quite senile, probably end up a gibberling snack... Someone is going to feel bad not putting gramps in a home with stimulating company. Bah... Not my problem.


  • AnduinAnduin Member Posts: 5,745
    edited June 2016
    Sorry for taking a month off. Busy, busy, busy. Really enjoying this run. The story is actually slowing me down somewhat! Hopefully I've fleshed out the characters enough, but I'm going to dive in now... The story from the game should start to overtake my characters inner dialogue in part, leaving him reacting to events more... So... Back to the realms!!!

    After bumping into senile grandpa, we proceeded in haste to the inn, stone markers seemed to back up his directions and we soon saw a fortified keep...

    Then we were ambushed... By dogs.

    You need to respect them. They encircled us easily, like rounding up sheep I suppose... And I felt sheepish. Outsmarted by a dog... We used ranged weaponry to keep away from those teeth, however Xzar was rushed and looked like he was going to be dog chow. Monty bravely stepped in and even allowed the jaws of one dog to lock around his arm, just to allow him to plunge his shortsword into its nethers...

    Fellatio starts muttering about beast masters and outcast druids... I laugh it off. They would have used Bears you impecile!

    After pausing to chat to the guards about the laws within the keep... And I would call it such... We enter.

    Although smaller than Candlekeep, it has a central keep, surrounded by a solid wall. Ha! No need to own a valuable tome of great value... No! Beer tokens, known as gold coins in this part of the world, is what you need!

    Then I remember, I am about to meet Khalid... And possibly death... I prepare my weapons...


    Yep. Just killed a random wizard on the steps to the supposedly Friendly Arm Inn. Everyone is fine with it, though... He tried to kill you... Don't worry about it... Real sorry about that...

    Yet he died so easily... I hit him with my sling, but then it is quite hard to tell who got the killing blow due to Imoen releasing an arrow at point blank range into his left eyeball after Monty plunged his sword up to his wrist into his navel...

    Okay he was trying to kill me... But not in the same league as those that took down Gorion...

    He said he was going to take me to Khalid and Jaheira. I realise he meant dead... I rush the steps two at a time to face my nemesis... I will not be afraid!

  • brusbrus Member Posts: 944
    edited June 2016
    This so very well written. It could easily be soothing bedtime story.

  • AnduinAnduin Member Posts: 5,745
    I labour to the top step... Two steps at a time for a gnome is a big ask... Imoen, places a hand on my shoulder. I turn to look at her, she makes a sweeping gestures to the busy tavern, as if to say, look at all these potential witnesses of a murder...

    No... She was probably worried about them becoming collateral damage...


    I see him... A half-Orc... He towers above the clientele... His armour has changed... But this is the man who slayed Gorion. I tighten my grip around my mace... and... and watch Imoen go up to him with a cheery "Hiya!"


    I stare slack jawed for a moment, as the obviously, not-khalid, half-orc looks at our party in an oblivious manner and then tries to get Imoen to fetch him a drink.

    Imoen, gives a sardonic reply, before giving me an over theatrical wink, and going on to asking the bar staff about the where abouts of the mysterious Khalid and Jaheira...

    The serving wench points... The human... No... The half-elf sits, his piercing eyes are already focused on me... I return his gaze unflinching. I stride towards him. He reaches for a weapon... No. He... gently wakes a colleague. Jaheira? He stands before me. I stand before him.

    He stutters... He chews through his sentence as if it is barbed wire. I am immediately disarmed. How can this be a killer? A murderer? This is no trap... What horrors does his childhood contain... Half-elf... Those trice cursed elves... They do not fool me... Pure evil... How can an elf father a child with a human... To watch their own flesh and blood, grow, age and die before their eyes, whilst they hardly age at all... Evil... Imoen joins me... So does Fellatio, Monty and Xzar

    He speaks...

    What is the freakin deal! A child? A CHILD ! ! ! I AM A GNOME ! ! ! CURSE YOOOOOUUU ! ! !


    And Gorion had a great beard... Naturally I copied his style... No biggy...

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