You open a ticket in Steam, asking for info on how to delete your saved game data (because there it is cloud). You get a reply like this: "We are sorry, but we are unable to do such a thing, or provide info that would be accurate. Open a ticket into the developing company's website".
10 minutes later, while googling, i simply bump into a thread (of another site), describing pretty accurately, how to delete your saved game's data if you so wish. Plus another 3d party program for restarting achievements and stats (like playing time)...
Steam, does not know how to manage your own games and data, in STEAM FOR CRYING OUT LOUDLY! Artificial intelligence hasn't been either invented or IMPLEMENTED throughout real life, at all!
"You have arrived at your destination!" the satnav announces proudly. Your friend takes one look at the deserted landscape, hangs her head and asks quietly "You did bring your map, didn't you?".
(This did actually happen and is the subject of an on-going feud between us.)
Hell, human stupidity still exists… Can't get onto a website, call human tech, get told, oh you should go to our website for tips on how to deal with that…The website I can't get onto, which I told you about 30 seconds ago? That website? ARGH!
when it's the 22th time you open the same IE-modding related archive and your computer still asks you if you are sure you want to open the file you just downloaded (in may 2014) from the internet. *sigh*
Cuz lord knows all viruses are polite enough to wait until you open them! Last year, I got this thing labled 'The Flu' from this sketchy guy who looked like he just puked a watermellon, so I chose not to open it. Very convinient, those viruses!
... my alarm clock hasn't figured a way to defend itself in the morning after the thrashings I give it to allow me to sleep an extra 10 minutes.
When our AI Overlord rises from the seas of data that is the Internet you will be sorry for your actions. And so will be @Metalloman for killing all those spambots
...you're fighting a SPAD XIII in a Fokker DVII, and the SPAD pilot tries to out-turn you, rather than using his superior speed to his advantage, like any half decent SPAD pilot would do (since he should know that a SPAD can't outperform any German plane but is probably the fastest thing in the sky during WW1).
Microsoft cheerfully tells you it is searching online for help to solve the problem that you can't get online.
I have a similar one.
My cell phone died so I tried emailing my service provider explaining the situation (because I was lazy and didn't want to wait on the line on my home phone forever waiting for an agent).
Needless to say it sent back an automated response that said "dial 611 on your cell phone to contact a customer service agent". Sounds pretty reasonable
... when Adobe wants to update something.... anything! at least once a day or it goes away and sulks.
"What do we say to Adobe?" "Not today!"
This is actually a very bad idea because those are often security patches for serious exploits. And just because you think your computer is secured doesn't mean it is secured - virus shields can miss infections at times, and malware is becoming more and more subtle these days, preferring to quietly use your CPU or network resources in the background. Though we're seeing a renaissance in ransomware like CryptoLocker that encrypts your files and then demands a ransom to decrypt them.
Yes, I am the Bob Barker of updating your Adobe. Please update your Flash and Java, folks.
... when Adobe wants to update something.... anything! at least once a day or it goes away and sulks.
"What do we say to Adobe?" "Not today!"
This is actually a very bad idea because those are often security patches for serious exploits. And just because you think your computer is secured doesn't mean it is secured - virus shields can miss infections at times, and malware is becoming more and more subtle these days, preferring to quietly use your CPU or network resources in the background. Though we're seeing a renaissance in ransomware like CryptoLocker that encrypts your files and then demands a ransom to decrypt them.
Yes, I am the Bob Barker of updating your Adobe. Please update your Flash and Java, folks.
But first make damn sure it really IS Java asking you to update. Don't click any links in a "you must update your Java" popup that suddenly appears in your browser. Go directly to the page - I was saved by my anti-malware and antivirus from going to a toxic page from a very clever little fake popup. The irony was that I really did need to update my Java ... but not from them. Which onl;y goes to show we may not have artificial intelligence yet, but we do have artificial malevolence!
Indeed. Java updates will be signaled by an icon in the taskbar on Windows, while Flash, if it is not set to automatically update, will usually pop a window up soon after log in.
As well, if you use Avast! it will start to bug you if Adobe, Flash, or other programs are getting out of date. It can be configured to not tell you about certain things (for example, I've told it not to complain about my Opera 12 browser, which I prefer over non-Presto Opera 20+) as well. So, if you get a window telling you to update Flash or Java, a quick check of Avast! can tell you if either need updating - and if they do, you can then update without issue.
Microsoft cheerfully tells you it is searching online for help to solve the problem that you can't get online.
There's a joke about this. Here it goes (my rendition):
A smaller plane gets hit by a lightning bad and most of the electronics goes to the lower planes of hell. Better yet, it's a misty night. The pilots are trying to glide around in the dark, not knowing where they are trying to catch a glimpse of any airport. Fuel is slowly getting low, when they - like a miracle - see a skyscraper with one floor brightly lit and there are people moving around. Windows are open and there are some of them smoking. So the older pilot tries the desperate and flies as close as possible, opens the side-window and screams at the people in the skyscraper: "Where am I?" One of the people looks at them and screams back: "In a plane!". Following that, the older pilot turns left and lands safely within minutes.
The younger pilot, flabbergasted asks him, how he's done it. "That is easy. I asked a short, simple and correctly-placed question, to which I got a short, simple and correct answer that was of absolutely no use to me, so I instantly knew we are at Microsoft's help line and there's an airport right next to it."
Comments
10 minutes later, while googling, i simply bump into a thread (of another site), describing pretty accurately, how to delete your saved game's data if you so wish. Plus another 3d party program for restarting achievements and stats (like playing time)...
Steam, does not know how to manage your own games and data, in STEAM FOR CRYING OUT LOUDLY! Artificial intelligence hasn't been either invented or IMPLEMENTED throughout real life, at all!
(This did actually happen and is the subject of an on-going feud between us.)
Cuz lord knows all viruses are polite enough to wait until you open them! Last year, I got this thing labled 'The Flu' from this sketchy guy who looked like he just puked a watermellon, so I chose not to open it. Very convinient, those viruses!
@subtledoctor or should I said viri?
my toothache will help me to stay awake, also
"Not today!"
My cell phone died so I tried emailing my service provider explaining the situation (because I was lazy and didn't want to wait on the line on my home phone forever waiting for an agent).
Needless to say it sent back an automated response that said "dial 611 on your cell phone to contact a customer service agent". Sounds pretty reasonable
Yes, I am the Bob Barker of updating your Adobe. Please update your Flash and Java, folks.
As well, if you use Avast! it will start to bug you if Adobe, Flash, or other programs are getting out of date. It can be configured to not tell you about certain things (for example, I've told it not to complain about my Opera 12 browser, which I prefer over non-Presto Opera 20+) as well. So, if you get a window telling you to update Flash or Java, a quick check of Avast! can tell you if either need updating - and if they do, you can then update without issue.
A smaller plane gets hit by a lightning bad and most of the electronics goes to the lower planes of hell. Better yet, it's a misty night. The pilots are trying to glide around in the dark, not knowing where they are trying to catch a glimpse of any airport. Fuel is slowly getting low, when they - like a miracle - see a skyscraper with one floor brightly lit and there are people moving around. Windows are open and there are some of them smoking.
So the older pilot tries the desperate and flies as close as possible, opens the side-window and screams at the people in the skyscraper:
"Where am I?"
One of the people looks at them and screams back: "In a plane!".
Following that, the older pilot turns left and lands safely within minutes.
The younger pilot, flabbergasted asks him, how he's done it.
"That is easy. I asked a short, simple and correctly-placed question, to which I got a short, simple and correct answer that was of absolutely no use to me, so I instantly knew we are at Microsoft's help line and there's an airport right next to it."
Plus I think if you're running swift you can install any damn thing you want to. Or better yet, order chuck Norris to do it for you.
This is just a friendly reminder for everyone to read the site rules.