"What do we do now, boss?" The young guard looked on at the group of men in the room as he whispered to his partner. The guards were still hiding in the tunnel, trying to form a plan to deal with the group, and, more specifically, the big man with the axe. They were prepared for a den of thieves, but they had lost some of their confidence when they saw him. The sound of rapidly closing footsteps reached their ears from the direction of the building they came from. The old guard turned quickly to meet the newcomer, fearing an ambush, but what he saw was not what he expected.
The footsteps belonged to the boy he had helped save earlier that day. He stood there, staring, dumbfounded at the sight. So it was that he couldn't react fast enough to stop the boy from running into the room.
The boy ran into the room and surveyed the interior. Just ahead of him were three men wearing black leather and carrying swords on their hips. To his left was a larger man wearing the same leather armor who carried a large axe on his shoulder. To his right were two more men, and between them sat his sister, who fell silent and stopped struggling when she saw him enter the room.
The large man shouted when he saw the boy standing there. "Well, it looks like we have ourselves a visitor! Men, show him the infamous hospitality of the Ebon Sun!" The three men near him drew their swords and advanced, spreading out to attack the boy from three sides. The two men near the girl also drew their swords, but stayed where they were, ready to reinforce the others if necessary. The boy readied his own sword, confidently walking toward the advancing men.
The two guards looked to each other and cursed their luck. They knew they couldn't afford to wait any longer. They drew their swords and charged from their hiding place, seeking to protect the boy, who had already engaged with the rightmost attacker. The man had swung his sword horizontally to the left in an attempt to decapitate the boy, but the boy was no slouch, and he parried the attack, sending the man's sword back to his side with a thunderous clang, and swept his own sword back across his opponent's midsection, splitting his belly open. The man to his left rushed forward at the boy, while the third had to defend himself from the two guards who descended upon him.
The young guard led with a stab at the man's belly, but the man parried the attack, swiping his sword across to send the deadly thrust harmlessly upward. The man failed to realize that the thrust was only a distraction, and he cried out suddenly as the old guard jumped to the side and cut off his sword hand. The man fell with the sword, clutching the bloody stump left behind.
The two guards turned to help the boy, but they soon found that he didn't need it. The boy kicked hard at the charging man, sending him flying back several feet before crashing to the floor. The other two men who guarded the girl quickly rushed to join the fight, but the boy was undeterred, and he ran to meet them, slashing his sword across to deflect the attackers' blades. He kicked the leftmost man, who fell back, then brought his sword up to parry the other's downward slash. The boy ran forward, his sword leveled at his opponent, and with incredible strength, ran him completely through and lifted him up off the floor to dangle from the sword's hilt for a moment before the boy brought him back down and pulled it out.
The two remaining men were still dazed from the force of his kicks and were no longer any real threat. As they struggled to return to thei feet, the big man who led them readied his axe and said "Surprising, to say the least. I honestly didn't expect this. It is no matter, though, for you will still die." He brought his axe down hard, and the boy jumped back to avoid it, the blade narrowly missing him. The two guards forced their way between them, and the old guard addressed the big man, saying "Halt! You have committed crimes against the town of Bellepoint and its people! You will lay down your weapon and surrender, or we will be forced to slay you!"
The big man laughed. "Slay me, will you," he asked. "Very well, then, let's see if you can!" He swung his axe to the old guard's left, aiming for the young guard, who was not prepared to avoid the attack. The old guard , seeing the danger, jumped into the axe's path to shield his partner, and the axe shattered his armor and nearly cleaved him in two. He was sent flying past the young guard, who could do little but stare at the broken body as it crashed to the floor.
"So much for his earlier bravado," the big man exclaimed boastfully. He readied his axe for another swing, thinking to swing it at the remaining guard, but he was suddenly knocked off his feet by a flying boy who slammed into him. The two combatants fell to the floor, and the boy brought his sword up and pointed the tip downward before driving it into the big man's chest.
The young guard immediately rushed to his partner, who was lying in his own blood on the ground. He was already dead. The young guard felt tears form in his eyes, and he wiped them from his face as he turned to survey the aftermath of the fight. All but three of the men they fough were dead, and the three who survived were no longer willing to continue fighting. The boy was already at his sister's side, untying the ropes that bound her. When he was finished, the girl reached up and hugged him, saying "I knew you would make it, Kaiser. Are you alright?" The boy looked at her for a moment and said "The pain is gone, but this..." They both looked down at his left wrist, which was missing his hand. "I'm still glad you're safe, Starlen," he said, bringing her back in for another hug.
The two children walked over to the young guard, who was trying to lift his partner's body to carry it out. He looked at them and said "He was a good man who brought you into this town. He was a good man who did all he could to protect you. I'm sure he would be happy to know that you're both safe." After saying this, the young guard hefted his partner's body up over his shoulder and said "His name was Rangir. He was a good mentor, a caring guardsman, and a compassionate, if somewhat gruff and strict, friend." He walked through the tunnel's entrance befor turning around a final time and saying "My name's Landin, and listen, if you need a place to stay, I'm sure I can find a place for you."
Well, if more people respond in the next couple of months, I will keep going, but if this doesn't gain any traction, then I probably won't. I'm starting to feel like the mage in the Seven Vales Inn...at least the occasional @kcwise applauds. Doesn't swear and leave, anyway.
That doesn't mean I expected a huge turnout, or anything, but if the audience has no interest, then why am I doing this?
Well, I hope you'll continue with it but I can understand if you decide it's not enjoyable anymore. Thanks for sharing the story though. I enjoyed reading it! And, for my part, I try not to make too many comments on story threads for fear of annoying the writers and readers with too much excess chatter.
My guess is that you'll probably have several people catching up on this and other threads after they get finished with their holiday festivities.
@kcwise good point, and I'll probably continue anyway. I was a little upset when I posted that, so I won't give up on it just yet. I will take some time off, though, to relax a bit.
The next chapter will take place roughly ten years later, when the children have grown up. The boy might seem OP, but not everything will go down as easily as poor Brutus. He's not meant to be unstoppable, don't worry.
My guess is that you'll probably have several people catching up on this and other threads after they get finished with their holiday festivities.
Like me! I went to Texas for eight days without my laptop. I came home to see both yours and @Blackraven's stories waiting for me! *squee!*
You guys make me feel lazy. I gotta jump back on the bandwagon and write some more! Darn holidays, being all festive and happy and stuff. *sigh* Yet another New Year's resolution in my wake...
It can be discouraging when you don't receive much feedback on something you've put your heart and soul into. I've been there. I know what it's like. But no matter how bleak things might seem, don't give up! It's true that your audience might be quiet and small, but it certainly won't grow if you stop.
I'm intrigued that you'll be taking a time-skip, and I want to know more about these kids and who they are and HOLY POOP HOW IS THIS BOY SO STRONG!? So needless to say, I'm glad you're going to continue. And I wish you tons of luck! ^_^
@Nimran: have to catch up with your writing still, will do so and comment. And don't worry about lack of response, it doesn't say anything really. @Nonnahswriter: well progress has been slow here as well. Have been spending a lot of time at work behind a computer screen with a Word processor, which has made me less inclined to read and write at home... I promise I shall not give up though
For the next ten years, the town of Bellepoint grew in both size and fame. Tales of the town having an extraordinary protector spread across the kingdom of Eramus, tales telling of criminal organizations within the town and wild beasts in the surrounding wilderness being brought down by a single man. When the people heard these tales, they began to once again travel eastward towards the town.
One of these travelers, a young man named Emerin, had nearly reached the town's west gate after hitching a ride on a merchant's wagon. With a bored sigh, the dark-haired man stood up and straightened his gray shirt and pants after the wagon stopped moving. With a studious look at the town, he jumped down from the wagon, pulling his sword from the wagon's floor as he landed on the ground.
Emerin was hired on as a guard by the lone merchant in exchange for the ride. He had also been promised a small payment in gold for his service, which he promptly requested from the merchant as he departed. After receiving his payment, Emerin headed for the gate alongside the wagon as it rolled into town.
The bustling streets were filled with people from all over the kingdom, and wagon's filled with more people and goods lined the main road's edges. Emerin pushed his way through to the other side of the road and made his way to a sign planted in the ground near an intersection. The sign pointed farther down the road, and on the sign read 'The Journeyman's Respite'.
Emerin took a quick look to each end of the road, searching for any straggling wagons still making their way through the crowd, then crossed the road and moved toward the inn. He pushed his way through the crowd, keeping one hand on his coin bag, and the other on his sword strapped to his waist.
He soon saw a large building closer to the east end of town with a sign hanging just over the door. People were entering and exiting the building in rapid succession, causing the door to open and close with the frequency of a bird's wing in mid-flight. Just before reaching the door himself, Emerin heard the familiar clang of a smith's hammer pounding iron on an anvil. He looked to see the smithy located just next to the inn, and a tall red-haired man wearing a smith's apron working the forge inside.
Emerin continued on the inn and opened the door. The lobby was filled with tables and chairs, and a crowd of people. No chair remained empty on the floor. Emerin looked to the bar near the stairs to see the innkeeper, a short, stocky old man collecting keys from the shelves behind him and handing them out to a small group of people still waiting to receive them. The innkeeper motioned to a young red-haired woman wearing a black shirt and pants, who led the group up the stairs to their assigned rooms.
Emerin made his way to the bar and gestured to the innkeeper, who strode towards him and asked "What can I be doin' for ye, today? A room, or maybe some grog?" "Just a room, for now," Emerin replied. The innkeeper nodded and went for the shelves on the wall once more. "Let's see what we still got, here," he said as he searched the shelves. After a while, he returned to the bar and said "Ye're in luck, boy. This is the last one." He handed the key to Emerin, who took and asked "Which room?" The innkeeper said "Well, that'll be the last door on the right, after ye get up them stairs." Emerin nodded to the innkeeper and said "Thank you," then started up the stairs. As he took the first step, he heard the innkeeper behind him bellow after him, saying "Watch yer step, boy!"
Emerin stopped just in time to see the red-haired woman from before coming down the stairs. She was very pretty, with soft blue eyes and a warm smile one her face. She glanced at him for an instant as she passed him and made her way back to the bar. "So, that's the last of the rooms, right?" Emerin heard her ask as he continued up the stairs. Her voice was soft, but possessed a happy tone as she spoke to the innkeeper.
"Aye, girl, ye can be seein' to the tables now," the innkeeper, named Mandon, said to Starlen. The old man flashed his usual toothy grin at her as she immediately started across the floor to help the guests seated there. The young lady was a hard worker, and Mandon felt no small amount of pride at watching her work so hard. That's what he raised her on, after all.
Ten years ago, he was just an old widower with barely anything to his name. When he heard that the old innkeeper was arrested for consorting with slavers, he bought the deed to the inn, which wasn't worth much due to the lack of business in those days. It wasn't much later when he discovered from a town guard that a certain pair of orphans were in need of a place to stay. He soon took them in and taught them to work hard, and they did. The young man took up an apprenticeship under the local blacksmith, and the girl helped keep the inn clean and tidy. In exchange for their hard work, he cared for them as though they were his own children, and over time he came to love them as his own children.
Suddenly, the door flew open, and a slightly aged man wearing leather armor entered. Mandon recognized him as one of the town guards. "Hail, ye brave sod!" he shouted. "Come, have some swill to shake off the dust from yer standin' guard all day!" "No time for a drink right now, old man," the guard replied. "I'm on official business."
He reached into a bag on his belt and pulled out a tangled clump of hair covered in dried blood. He then slammed his fist upon the bar to draw everyone's attention before shouting "Listen up! We've a savage beast roaming in the woods to the east! The lord of Bellepoint has issued this decree: anyone brave and willing to hunt this monster will be rewarded handsomely!"
When Starlen heard the decree, she rushed over to the guard. "Lieutenant Landin," she addressed him. "Did this monster attack someone?" "Aye, miss," the guard replied, a grim look on his face. "One of the merchants was attacked when he tried to leave the east gate. The guards posted there were killed trying to protect him. The merchant himself is safe, though." He looked upon the crowd once more and noticed several men and women standing up and refitting themselves for battle. He nodded his approval before asking Starlen "Will your brother join us? His help would be appreciated."
Starlen looked at him for a moment before saying "If you want my brother's help, he'll be there. Just be sure to bring him back in the same number of pieces he's already in." She smiled and winked at Landin, who returned the smile and said "My dear, if your brother comes along, we may have to try our damnedest to keep the monster in one piece."
Sitting at a table in the far corner of the inn, a lone man surveyed the crowd as they left, preparing themselves for a hunt. He sighed wistfully before taking a long drink from the mug in his hand. When the lobby was emptied of all but a few merchants grabbing a drink themselves, he stood up and moved to the bar. He was simply dressed, wearing black pants and a white buttoned shirt. His short hair and eyes were the same chestnut color. He sat down on a stool at the end of the bar and gestured to the innkeeper.
Seeing the young man, Mandon strode over from where he was cleaning the used mugs with a rag. "What can I be getting for ya?" he asked the man. "Another pint of that delicious specialty of yours, my good man," the young man replied. As the innkeeper nodded and went to fill up another mug, the man looked to the staircase.
After a while, Emerin came back down the stairs, ready to grab a drink at last. He stopped, however, when the man sitting at the bar waved him over. He looked around to find the inn nearly empty, as only a few guests remained at their tables. The red-haired girl was busy cleaning off the empty tables and taking the used mugs back to the kitchen. He looked back at the mysterious young man, who waved him over again after regaining his attention.
Emerin walked cautiously to the bar where the man sat, his left hand resting on the hilt of his sword. One thing that life on the road had taught him was to always be wary of unknown people seeking your attention. Still, he heeded the man, not willing to discard the possibility that he was friendly. "Hail and well met, friend," the man said as Emerin drew close. "Pull up a stool, for I have a proposition for you. It was recently proclaimed by a guard in this town that a monster has been killing people on the road." Emerin sat beside him while the innkeeper returned with a full mug and placed it on the bar in front of the young man, who showed his gratitude by taking a long draw from it before continuing. "Such a beast would surely be right up your alley, you being so armed as you are."
Emerin looked at him a moment before asking "Why tell me this if you're so interested? What am I to you?" "Well, that is a good question," the man responded. "Let me start with an introduction. I am Ronan, a storyteller and minstrel. I sing songs and tell stories that can make an earth elemental cry, and can melt the heart of an ice troll. But enough about me. Let's talk about you." He took another drink from his mug before continuing. "I saw you walking in. Your stride was quick and deliberate, graceful, yet determined. You move like a real fighter." He took another drink. "What you are to me is a potential partner in making a fortune in this town, and many others. For example," he said before taking another drink. "The two of us could steal the reward for slaying the monster in the woods by going there ourselves, finding it, and slaying it before anyone else even finds the beast."
Ronan took another long drink, draining the mug of its contents, and looked expectantly at Emerin, who started shaking his head. "How would we find it before everyone else?" he asked. Ronan smiled and replied "What if I told you I could sing a song to lure it to us, instead of us searching for it?" Emeril laughed aloud at that notion, but Ronan's smile remained. Emerin stopped laughing and asked "Seriously?"
Amid the teeming throngs of people still going about their business, as they were largely unaware of the event that had transpired just outside the east gate, the large group of adventurers began perusing the market stalls, seeking to supply themselves for the hunt. Their wanderings drew the attention of the blacksmith, who had finally finished his finest work. Unlike the other pieces he had forged, this one was unique, as he made it for his own hands.
His hands...he looked down at the artificial left hand mounted on his wrist. Made of iron forged by him, with metal hinges to serve as its joints, the new appendage was made to be strong and durable, and could serve as a weapon in its own way. Of course, it doesn't erase the memory of the night he lost the original.
He saw Landin approach him, and he had an idea of what he could need. It was obvious that many of the travelers were preparing for some dangerous work. He nodded silently to Landin as the lieutenant approached.
"Working hard, I see," Landin said, eyeing the newly forged halberd resting against the far wall. It was an exquisite piece of work; the black S-shaped blade firmly fitted to a long metal shaft of the same color. "I've been experimenting," Kaiser replied in a deep voice, lowering his gaze to meet Landin's. The young blacksmith stood almost three heads taller than the lieutenant, and he was barely able to get through a doorway without having to lower his head. His one good eye stared unblinking at the lieutenant, while the other, a lidless white orb, was constantly exposed due to Kaiser not wanting wear a patch. Three long, jagged scars stretched down from the damaged eye to his chin. As a result, his stare was always at least a little off-putting.
"I've been trying out some new enchantments that I learned from my master," Kaiser continued, gesturing to the halberd. "This weapon possesses some of my favorites." Landin smiled at that and asked "Would you consider using it against something strong?" Kaiser tilted his head, showing his interest in that request. "We've got a problem with some of the local wildlife," Landin continued. "Some ferocious beast has been attacking merchants and killing guards out by the east gate. You probably heard the ruckus, right?"
Kaiser looked around, as if to emphasize the existence of the large, and loud, crowd swarming the streets. He looked back at Landin and said "No." "Good point," Landin replied, conceding the issue. "I suppose it was too much to ask for you to have enhanced hearing along with all that strength." He smirked at Kaiser, who sighed. He wasn't so arrogant that he would take much pride in his strength, even if it was superior to an average man's. Still, he wasn't about to let an opportunity like this one pass him by. He had been itching to leave the town and search the nearby woods again for any sign of his father. With a short nod to Landin, he entered the smithy's shop that was connected to the forge. Some time later, he returned.
"My master now knows of this business, and he has allowed me to leave for a time to go on this hunt with you," he explained. "Excellent!" Landin replied. Kaiser reached for the halberd and, picking it up, examined the blade one last time. It was every bit as sharp as he could make it. He hung his apron and pulled a long black coat off a rack to the side, pulled it on, and started buttoning it from the waist up. The coat, also enchanted for added protection, was one of his favorite possessions. He looked back at Landin and said "Ready for action, Lieutenant."
Hey Nimran, let me congratulate you! You've got a great story going there I don't know why I lost so many updates, maybe because of the inevitable time gaps between updates. Anyway I see that you manage to detail (important) people and places and thus make the story more visual for the reader (something I attach great importance to in creative writing), without compromising its pace. I can only applaud your effort and wish you the perseverance to continue this.
I have a few comments for you. I hope you take them in a good way. They're meant to help you polish your fine writing, not as negative criticism.
The boy's eyes twitched at that final word. He had tried with all his might to protect his sister from the madman that was their father, but he failed. When he woke up he was alone, yet still alive. There was no other explanation, except that his sister had brought him here, but how did she keep him alive with wounds so grave, and where did she go?
I would say at the last line: "how had she kept him alive with wounds so grave, and where had she gone?" because the boy's questions refer to events further back in time.
The girl's muffled cries and constant squirming were not enough to break the grip of the man who carried her, though she did cause him to shift his grip occasionally, as they made their way through the empty streets, or at least seemed to be empty.
"or at least they seemed to be empty", or: "or at least seemingly empty".
You're writing is good overall, but I noticed in these last couple passages that sometimes you include information that's not really necessary. Explanatory sentences that don't need to be there, because the reader's already inferred that much for herself. For example, here: "The innkeeper nearly squealed when he saw the display, as a boy that small should not have been able to do that."
I might be a bit like your professors, @Nonnahswriter and @Nimran. It's probably due to a predilection for the great novels of the 1800s and early 1900s plus my schooling as a lawyer, makes me want to be complete, precise, unequivocal and concise at the same time. My experience with creative writing is very limited though, so I'm no authority on the matter at all. But in this particular setting, a fantasy world unknown to the reader, I wouldn't necessarily consider it superfluous to point out that the kid is special/unique (as opposed to one of various famous 'special' children/people, like the Bhaalspawn were at one point). Something like "The innkeeper nearly squealed in awe of the boy's supernatural strength." wouldn't sound redundant to me. I like your rich, descriptive style Nimran, and I hope you won't change it too much.
The boy shrugged and said "I've seen better days, but the pain's gone. This is going to affect me a bit more, though." They both looked down at his left wrist, which was missing his hand. "I'm still glad you're safe, Starlen," he said, bringing her back in for another hug.
Not a big deal probably because the narrative of the boy's early years ends here, but of all the direct speech you've used so far (which I find really good), the boy's words here were the only ones that felt a bit out of place to me, too mature/formal perhaps. "I've seen better days" is something I'd expect from battle-hardened Anomen after Firkraag has been slain, but no so much from a 10 year old boy. The word 'affect' is a bit dubious imo as well. I doubt I knew that word (or at least its equivalent in my native tongue) when I was 10.
Amid the teeming throngs of people still going about their business, as they were largely unaware of the event that transpired just outside the east gate, the large group of adventurers began perusing the market stalls, seeking to supply themselves for the hunt. Their wanderings drew the attention of the blacksmith, who had finally finished his finest work. Unlike the other pieces he had forged, this one was unique, as he made it for his own hands.
Again, I'd go with 'had transpired' rather than 'transpired', for the same reason as the one mentioned in my first comment above.
He saw Landin, now a lieutenant in the town guard, approach him, and he had an idea of what he could need. It was obvious that many of the travelers were preparing for some dangerous work. He nodded silently to Landin as the lieutenant approached.
The part in italics did feel a bit redundant to me as Starlen had just called him 'Lieutenant Landin' (a few paragraphs earlier).
Again, my intention with these comments is to help you. (Why else would I take the time to read and reply?) Note that these are minor things; you're doing a really good job man.
@Blackraven those are all good suggestions. I have no issues with constructive criticism, and I recognize your post as just that. I do tend to get carried away a little while writing, so posts that point out mistakes, minor or major, are very welcome.
I'll be sure to edit those parts, and will try not to repeat the mistakes.
Emerin released yet another long sigh as he and his new 'partner' were entering the forest. He had already grown tired of the extravagant tales told by Ronan, all of which seemed to place him as the most important character, and now just wanted to continue on in peace. Unfortunately, Ronan had other ideas.
"Have I already told you about the time I tamed a rampaging bear using only my beautiful singing voice and a broken lute?" Ronan asked, and he looked at Emerin expectantly as he finished, forcing him to answer. "Why, yes. Yes, you have," Emerin answered, hoping beyond hope that his lie might put an end to the long-winded stories that truly did nothing but make Ronan look good. Ronan stopped walking and stared at Emerin before saying "Now I know you're not listening. I never told you that story, but that's about to be rectified." He started walking behind Emerin, and said in a rather loud and robust tone "It was quite a sight! He was a massive, ferocious beast, and he had very nearly torn apart the entire group of hunters that had gone to slay him, when I, in my usual knack for arriving just in time, appeared on the edge of the battle. 'Do not fear', I said, for only I knew how to calm the savage beast's raging heart..."
Emerin sighed again, as he found himself longing for silence once more. As Ronan's ridiculously exaggerated story went on, he became less attentive to it, though he began to feel different as the story went on. He felt himself being inexorably drawn back to the tale after every time he lost interest, which was often. The strange sensation eventually overwhelmed his sensibilities, and he soon clung to every word of Ronan's story as if it could contain the secret to staying alive in such situations as the one described.
When Ronan stopped talking, Emerin turned back to look at him, part of him hoping that the storyteller would continue, and the other part wondering why. Ronan's eyes sparkled, the light dancing in their gaze, and he flashed a mischievous grin at Emerin. He blinked, and the glint in his eyes returned to its normal state. "How did you like that story?" he asked his puzzled companion. "What did you do?" Emerin couldn't help but ask. "Oh, just a little charming smile and a bit of magic," Ronan replied, his grin growing even larger. "I didn't want you to be bored, so I added a little spice to my tale to keep things interesting." Emerin's puzzled look became more curious, and he asked "Where did you learn to do that?" "The same place I learned to charm animals with my songs," Ronan replied.
For a time, they continued in silence, passing through the thick walls of trees with no small amount of difficulty. They often had to walk completely around large patches of trees, which hindered their progress considerably. Finally, after a long silence, Emerin asked "Where exactly are we going?" "I figured I'd lead us into the deeper part of the woods," Ronan replied. He had made his way back in front of Emerin, who now followed him cautiously, determined not to fall under his spell again. "That's where the larger, more dangerous nasties are located. If anything was capable of killing some guards, they would be there. That, and I can only charm monsters when they're comfortable, so we'll want to be in their natural habitat."
The pair continued on until they reached a small clearing. Emerin nearly left the shelter of the trees, but Ronan pulled him back roughly. "What-" he started to protest, but Ronan's hand was quicker as he immediately cupped it over his partner's mouth. "Look before you leap," he whispered, and he let go of Emerin, who turned to face the clearing. He saw a monster that made him shiver. The beast was gigantic in stature. It walked on four legs ending in large clawed feet. Its long tail wrapped itself around the beast's blue scaled body, while three long necks ending in serpentine heads extended to the ground, the heads tearing into a bloody pile of meat that Emerin couldn't identify.
Ronan whistled softly and turned his head to address Emerin, whose jaw was on the ground, his eyes wide with surprise. Ronan looked down at the monster's dinner and sighed. "Doesn't look like human meat," he said. He looked back at Emerin and whispered "This big guy here is a sylvan hydra. They're the top predators in many forested areas, including this one." Emerin shook his head and whispered back "If this thing didn't attack the guards, then what are we going to do?" "Well, I didn't say anything about it not attacking guards," Ronan answered. "We also need this clearing for our plan to work." He looked back to the hydra and asked "How long do you think you can keep it occupied?" Emerin looked at Ronan and replied "You're joking, right?" "Hey, you can leave if you want," Ronan replied, shrugging his shoulders. "You just won't get paid." Emerin sighed, drew his sword, and walked out into the clearing.
Kaiser looked on as the small band of hunters came back into his view. He had joined the ragtag group as they left Bellepoint, and had volunteered to scout ahead while they marched, using his knowledge of the terrain to make long strides ahead of his newly acquired allies. He held no illusions that they could be attacked, as their equipment and number would frighten away any beast or brigand, but he enjoyed solitude more than the company of strangers.
His head turned back to the thick line of trees that marked the border of the forest, and his thoughts drifted back in time to when he was a child. He remembered climbing many of those trees, swinging from the branches, and leaping down upon unsuspecting monsters. He used to enjoy the thrill of running away from the startled beasts, though if they persisted in chasing him, he would turn around and punch them to send them flying back into the trees. They usually gave up after that.
He vaguely recalled the small cottage where he grew up. The sounds and smells of that tiny paradise had been all but forgotten with time, but he remembered the warm faces of his brothers and sisters, who often mocked him playfully about his pacifism, as he never wanted to harm a single monster in the woods. He would play with them, surely, but he tried to avoid any serious conflict.
His thoughts returned to the present, and he lamented over what had changed. The cottage was likely now an overgrown ruin, his siblings were either dead or scattered, and his mother, who had cared for her children with all of her heart, was dead. He closed his good eye and tried to remember her face, but all he remembered was the silent, severed head that tumbled away from the corpse that was once her, held in the air by a massive hand.
Kaiser soon heard the sound of heavy footsteps behind him. He turned to see the other hunters a king their way closer to him. With a shake of his head, Kaiser pushed those memories and feelings away, determined not to let them interfere with his current mission. He had to be strong for the people he now traveled with. He let out a sigh and started walking again, his eye set on the trees in front of him.
"The past doesn't matter," be quietly muttered to himself. "But the hunt is still on." He spoke those last words with a snarl, as he considered the real reason for his participation in this hunt.
Sword in hand, Emerin strode into the clearing, chanting a mystical incantation under his breath. He knew the dangers involved in fighting large beasts like this, and while he was unfamiliar with a hydra's strengths and abilities, he could at least garner that he needed some extra protection. He finished chanting just as the hydra noticed him, and a silvery light enveloped him, as the magical armor wrapped around his body.
The hydra raised its three heads and turned to address the intruder, while it's tail unwrapped itself from its body. Emerin had already begun casting a new spell, the fingers of his free hand waving about in a frenzy as they performed the necessary movements for the casting, his lips quietly chanting a different phrase. While he did this, he broke into a sprint, and he got within reach of the hydra's heads just as he finished casting.
The hydra snapped its left head at Emerin, who ducked to the right underneath the fanged jaws. As he stood back up, he swung his sword over his head and brought it down on the beast's neck. The sword itself did little against the tough scales, but the impact caused the power of his latest spell to activate, and many small bolts of lightning jumped from the sword's blade to the scaled hide, sending a painful jolt down the length of its neck.
The hydra's two other heads roared in pain, and its other head pulled back suddenly. Emerin did not follow through with his attack though, as he was forced to roll under a swinging tail. He was quick enough to bring his sword across the tail's unprotected underside as it pulled back again to rest on the ground behind the hydra's body, but the blade only left a narrow cut. It was enough for the beast to howl once more, though a new sound accompanied it. It was a sound that seemed too familiar for Emerin's liking.
The hydra's right head snarled, and a bolt of lightning similar to, but larger than Emerin's own arced down from its fanged lips, while the other two heads reared back to snap at him. Emerin knew the heads would strike when the bolt hits either the ground or him, and he rolled back to avoid the bolt while keeping his sword above him as much as possible so that the heads could not find a way through easily. The bolt hit the ground just where he was, and the heads snapped forward...and stopped just before they bit him.
Emerin stood back up on his feet and looked at the now motionless hydra. The beast's two attacking heads were suspended, jaws wide open, just above where he rolled to. He began to back away when a sound reached his ears. A beautiful, mournful song filled the clearing, sung by a man's voice. Emerin looked behind him to see Ronan singing the song, and he stared in awe as he listened to the wordless tune. He was barely able to notice the singer's hands signaling him to attack.
Emerin grinned and brought his sword across as he turned to slice through the left head's mouth. Once inside, he turned the blade and forced it up, nearly severing the head. He pulled out his sword as the still-frozen hydra started to shudder, and did the same to its middle head. He raced between the two long necks and ducked underneath its body to plunge his sword deep into its chest, through its belly, and out through the other end. Ronan stopped singing, and the hydra collapsed to the ground, its body shuddering violently as it died.
Ronan stepped further into the clearing and said "That was some nice teamwork. Good job, Em!" "Em?" Emerin asked before shaking his head. "What do you mean teamwork?" He then asked. "I fought that thing almost single-handed!" "Right," Ronan replied. "Then, once it was distracted, I jumped in and bravely saved the day."
Emerin shook his head again. As much as he hated to admit it, he probably would have died if not for Ronan. Still, he knew he couldn't give the arrogant minstrel the satisfaction of being right. "Let's not forget, it was you who conveniently forgot to mention the little fact that this thing can use magic!" He shouted. Ronan just smirked and said "But dear sir, it was you who forgot to ask." He winked at Emerin and moved to inspect the hydra's corpse. He smiled and turned back to Emerin. "Now, we just need to clear out the remains," he said. He stared at Emerin, who answered by shaking his head as saying "You can't really be asking me to move this thing by myself." Ronan smirked again and replied "Of course! You owe me after I just saved your life." "You're the one who came up with this crazy idea to begin with," Emerin said coldly. "How exactly am I going to move this huge monster's corpse by myself?" "I'm sure you'll figure something out," Ronan replied. "You'd better hurry though, those other guys are closing in as we speak."
Emerin let out yet another deep sigh and began casting another spell. Once he was finished, he started walking toward the corpse. "Smartarse son of a-" he muttered as he walked past Ronan, whose arrogant smirk widened.
The Journeyman's Respite is nearly empty now, Starlen thought as she finished cleaning the last table. With that done, her next job was to scrub down the dishes in the kitchen. Mandon had usually been the one to clean the dishes, but recently his hands had lost some of their strength. He would never admit it, of course, but he was getting older now, and his work isn't as thorough as it used to be. Still, she was more than happy to help the man who took her and her brother in.
Two men suddenly burst through the door, one a large man with long blond hair wearing a suit of red plate armor and a large greatsword strapped to his back, and the other a smaller man with short dark hair wearing a black buttoned shirt and pants and carrying two short swords on his waist. "Welcome!" Starlen said cheerfully as she exited the lobby and entered the kitchen. The large man grunted in response and the smaller man smiled and nodded at her as she left. The two men found a table in the farthest corner from the bar and sat down.
Some time later, after Starlen had finished with the dishes, she returned to the lobby to find that four other men had entered the inn. They were all dressed in black leather, with swords on their belts. They were making their way toward the two men in the corner. Starlen knew enough about how they walked to know they weren't in the mood for conversation. She quietly slipped back into the kitchen, hoping Mandon, who was already inside the kitchen, doesn't notice what's happening and get himself hurt again trying to keep order. She told him to leave things to her if the guests ever started a fight, but the men who just entered may need more than a little arm twisting to calm down.
As she left, the men reached the table, and one of them, a short, stocky bald man, said "Hey now, boys, doesn't this look like the man who took out Grey Calder?" He gestured toward the large man sitting at the table. "Yeah, boss," answered one of the other men. "He's the guy." The large man ignored them and stared down at the table, but his partner acknowledged them, asking "What if he is? Do you have some kind of connection to that slaver?" The men behind the short man reached for their swords, but the dark-haired man sitting down moved faster, his own swords flashing from their sheaths as he jumped into the trio. He sliced open the closest man's neck, then leaped around the dying man to engage the two others.
The short man turned and started to draw his sword, but the large man grabbed his hand as it touched the hilt. He stood, easily towering over the shorter man, and delivered a hard punch to the man's belly. The man started to crumple to the floor, but the large man grabbed him roughly with both hands and lifted him up off the ground. The short struggled to get free, but his opponent's grip was unbreakable, and the large man turned and threw him down onto the table, then started to pummel him with more punches. After the short man lost consciousness, the large man turned back to the fight. His partner was standing between the two remaining men, his swords moving quickly to parry his opponents' own swords. The two men were obviously becoming frustrated, as none of their strikes were making it past his blades. With a grin, the large man drew his greatsword from his back and rushed toward the man on his right.
His victim didn't see him coming, and the blade of his sword plunged into his belly and out though his upper back. The large man lifted his impaled victim off the ground, chuckling sadistically as he savored the kill. His partner brought his freed sword arm around and took the offensive, his sudden strikes coming in rapid succession as both of his blades coordinated with each other. The speed of his aggressive flurry forced his opponent on the defensive, and he quickly broke through that defense, as both of his swords suddenly flashed across to his right to force his opponent's own sword far out to his side. He followed through without hesitation, thrusting both blades through the man's neck and pulling them apart, severing his head completely.
As the last two corpses fell to the floor, the two men looked down at the mess and frowned. "We probably should have taken this outside," the dark-haired man said as he pulled out a rag from a pocket on his chest and started wiping his swords clean. The large man simply grunted in response before he sheathed his greatsword and walked back to the table where the short man was starting to wake up. He pulled the dazed man into a sitting position on the table and asked "Who sent you after me? Another one of your friends in the Ebon Sun?" The short man said nothing, but he managed to spit in the large man's face. Angered by the insult, the large man threw him back down onto the table, drew his greatsword, and smashed the short man and the table to pieces.
"Well, so much for that," the dark-haired man remarked, drawing a stern look from his companion. That look quickly turned to one of surprise just before a mug flew into his face. "Ugh!" the large man shouted as his head snapped back from the force of the blow, which proved to be harder than he thought. The dark-haired man turned to see Starlen glaring at them from across the room. "I just cleaned that table!" She yelled, brandishing a sword in her right hand. "And look at what you did to the floor! Do you know how long it will take to get the blood out?!"
"Our apologies, dear lady," the dark-haired man said, dipping into a low bow and nudging his companion to do the same. The large man rubbed his forehead where the mug hit him and said "That actually kinda hurt." He grinned as he drew his greatsword, causing his friend to shake his head. "Looks like there's no talking our way out of this one," he said with a sigh. He drew his swords and the two men spread out to Starlen's flanks, keeping some distance between them and her. Suddenly, the large man leaped into action, running straight at Starlen while his partner continued to circle around. Starlen responded by pulling a nearby chair out from under its table and hurling it with her free hand at the large man, forcing him to stop to knock it away with his greatsword, and ran toward the shorter man. Her sword flashed across to her left as she neared him, and he rolled aside to dodge the attack. She followed after him without stopping, and as he stood up she was already upon him, her sword slicing through the air at his face. He ducked and struck out with his left hand, but Starlen reacted in an instant, and she parried the strike with apparent ease. The man backed away, and his partner came in from behind Starlen, swinging his greatsword horizontally at her midsection. Starlen dropped down and ducked, the large blade whizzing over her head, and kicked out at the large man's shin.
The large man didn't have time to react, and Starlen's foot connected hard with his leg, causing him to stumble to the side. She then leaped at the large man and launched another kick, which connected with his belly. The force was enough to cause him to fall backward, and he crashed onto the floor. The dark-haired man jumped back into the fray, his swords slicing through the air in rapid succession, but Starlen quickly and effortlessly turned and parried each strike, her one sword moving as quickly as both of his, sending both of his blades out wide. She then delivered a powerful punch to his face, her free hand causing a cracking sound as it slammed into his jaw. He went down, landing hard on his back, and laid there, knocked out.
Starlen heard a heavy footstep behind her and turned to see the large man staggering back to his feet. She leveled her sword at him and said "Don't think you can get away with making a mess in this inn while I'm here." "Aye, you're not bad at all," the large man replied as he stood back up. Starlen sensed movement behind her and turned to see his companion rubbing his jaw and staggering to his feet. "I don't think we can afford to hold back anymore," the large man continued. He suddenly rushed forward with a downward swing fast enough to catch any normal person off-guard, but Starlen was hardly a normal person, and she sidestepped and avoided the attack. She responded by throwing her arm back, slamming her sword's pommel into his ribs as he passed her. The large man grunted in surprise when he felt the impact. Though his armor protected him from any damage, Starlen's attacks were surprisingly forceful, and it was clear to him that she wasn't trying to kill anyone, because he knew that she certainly could have succeeded if she was. Still, he was never one to back down from a challenge.
He turned suddenly and swung his sword horizontally yet again, but this time he released the grip of his right hand and threw a punch. Starlen ducked and avoided the sword, but the heavy fist connected with her belly. She winced as she stumbled backward, and the large man followed her with another punch aiming for her head. She saw it coming and ducked, swinging her sword upward as she straightened, but the dark-haired man jumped in front of his partner and blocked the attack with his left sword. He then brought his other sword down to trap the blade between both of his, while his partner rushed in with his fist.
Starlen surprised both men then when she bent over backwards at the waist, causing the fist to fly clearly over her head. She jumped and planted her feet on the dark-haired man's knees, then pushed with all of her strength, sending the man back to the floor and freeing her sword in the process. She landed on a nearby table and hooked her left foot around another chair's leg, then flung her leg forward to send the chair rocketing toward the large man, who was charging at her. He brought his greatsword up in time to deflect the chair, but Starlen rolled off the table and underneath the sword to kick his shin again. As he stumbled back against another table, he dropped his greatsword and grabbed the table with both hands, then turned and flung it at Starlen, who ducked under it as it flew past and smashed into the wall.
The large man snarled in frustration and, retrieving his sword, ran at Starlen. Starlen waited until he was close before leaping at him suddenly, her sword aiming at his throat. The large man Just barely dodged the sudden strike, and he countered with a downward slash. Starlen stopped moving just before the large blade swung down, and it barely missed her, hitting the floor just an inch in front of her. "I'm starting to get used to fighting you," the large man said. "You might just find yourself in two pieces before long." "You really don't have a clue, do you?" Starlen replied. "It won't take that long for the guards to arrive."
As if on cue, the front door burst open, and Varnam the guard captain walked in, followed by seven guards. "This disturbance is over!" Varnam declared as the guards moved to apprehend the two men. The large man sighed and lowered his greatsword, and his partner likewise surrendered. After securing their weapons, the guards escorted them outside, while Varnam turned to Starlen. "Sorry for arriving a bit late, ma'am," he said. "We'll see to it that these troublemakers are locked up for a good long time."
Starlen smiled and nodded, and the guard captain left with a short bow, following after his men. Starlen let out a deep sigh as she surveyed the lobby and the damaged furniture. "Looks like another long shift for me," she said as she started to pick up pieces of a chair.
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The footsteps belonged to the boy he had helped save earlier that day. He stood there, staring, dumbfounded at the sight. So it was that he couldn't react fast enough to stop the boy from running into the room.
The boy ran into the room and surveyed the interior. Just ahead of him were three men wearing black leather and carrying swords on their hips. To his left was a larger man wearing the same leather armor who carried a large axe on his shoulder. To his right were two more men, and between them sat his sister, who fell silent and stopped struggling when she saw him enter the room.
The large man shouted when he saw the boy standing there. "Well, it looks like we have ourselves a visitor! Men, show him the infamous hospitality of the Ebon Sun!" The three men near him drew their swords and advanced, spreading out to attack the boy from three sides. The two men near the girl also drew their swords, but stayed where they were, ready to reinforce the others if necessary. The boy readied his own sword, confidently walking toward the advancing men.
The two guards looked to each other and cursed their luck. They knew they couldn't afford to wait any longer. They drew their swords and charged from their hiding place, seeking to protect the boy, who had already engaged with the rightmost attacker. The man had swung his sword horizontally to the left in an attempt to decapitate the boy, but the boy was no slouch, and he parried the attack, sending the man's sword back to his side with a thunderous clang, and swept his own sword back across his opponent's midsection, splitting his belly open. The man to his left rushed forward at the boy, while the third had to defend himself from the two guards who descended upon him.
The young guard led with a stab at the man's belly, but the man parried the attack, swiping his sword across to send the deadly thrust harmlessly upward. The man failed to realize that the thrust was only a distraction, and he cried out suddenly as the old guard jumped to the side and cut off his sword hand. The man fell with the sword, clutching the bloody stump left behind.
The two guards turned to help the boy, but they soon found that he didn't need it. The boy kicked hard at the charging man, sending him flying back several feet before crashing to the floor. The other two men who guarded the girl quickly rushed to join the fight, but the boy was undeterred, and he ran to meet them, slashing his sword across to deflect the attackers' blades. He kicked the leftmost man, who fell back, then brought his sword up to parry the other's downward slash. The boy ran forward, his sword leveled at his opponent, and with incredible strength, ran him completely through and lifted him up off the floor to dangle from the sword's hilt for a moment before the boy brought him back down and pulled it out.
The two remaining men were still dazed from the force of his kicks and were no longer any real threat. As they struggled to return to thei feet, the big man who led them readied his axe and said "Surprising, to say the least. I honestly didn't expect this. It is no matter, though, for you will still die." He brought his axe down hard, and the boy jumped back to avoid it, the blade narrowly missing him. The two guards forced their way between them, and the old guard addressed the big man, saying "Halt! You have committed crimes against the town of Bellepoint and its people! You will lay down your weapon and surrender, or we will be forced to slay you!"
The big man laughed. "Slay me, will you," he asked. "Very well, then, let's see if you can!" He swung his axe to the old guard's left, aiming for the young guard, who was not prepared to avoid the attack. The old guard , seeing the danger, jumped into the axe's path to shield his partner, and the axe shattered his armor and nearly cleaved him in two. He was sent flying past the young guard, who could do little but stare at the broken body as it crashed to the floor.
"So much for his earlier bravado," the big man exclaimed boastfully. He readied his axe for another swing, thinking to swing it at the remaining guard, but he was suddenly knocked off his feet by a flying boy who slammed into him. The two combatants fell to the floor, and the boy brought his sword up and pointed the tip downward before driving it into the big man's chest.
The young guard immediately rushed to his partner, who was lying in his own blood on the ground. He was already dead. The young guard felt tears form in his eyes, and he wiped them from his face as he turned to survey the aftermath of the fight. All but three of the men they fough were dead, and the three who survived were no longer willing to continue fighting. The boy was already at his sister's side, untying the ropes that bound her. When he was finished, the girl reached up and hugged him, saying "I knew you would make it, Kaiser. Are you alright?" The boy looked at her for a moment and said "The pain is gone, but this..." They both looked down at his left wrist, which was missing his hand. "I'm still glad you're safe, Starlen," he said, bringing her back in for another hug.
The two children walked over to the young guard, who was trying to lift his partner's body to carry it out. He looked at them and said "He was a good man who brought you into this town. He was a good man who did all he could to protect you. I'm sure he would be happy to know that you're both safe." After saying this, the young guard hefted his partner's body up over his shoulder and said "His name was Rangir. He was a good mentor, a caring guardsman, and a compassionate, if somewhat gruff and strict, friend." He walked through the tunnel's entrance befor turning around a final time and saying "My name's Landin, and listen, if you need a place to stay, I'm sure I can find a place for you."
That doesn't mean I expected a huge turnout, or anything, but if the audience has no interest, then why am I doing this?
My guess is that you'll probably have several people catching up on this and other threads after they get finished with their holiday festivities.
You guys make me feel lazy.
It can be discouraging when you don't receive much feedback on something you've put your heart and soul into. I've been there. I know what it's like. But no matter how bleak things might seem, don't give up! It's true that your audience might be quiet and small, but it certainly won't grow if you stop.
I'm intrigued that you'll be taking a time-skip, and I want to know more about these kids and who they are and HOLY POOP HOW IS THIS BOY SO STRONG!? So needless to say, I'm glad you're going to continue. And I wish you tons of luck! ^_^
@Nonnahswriter: well progress has been slow here as well. Have been spending a lot of time at work behind a computer screen with a Word processor, which has made me less inclined to read and write at home... I promise I shall not give up though
One of these travelers, a young man named Emerin, had nearly reached the town's west gate after hitching a ride on a merchant's wagon. With a bored sigh, the dark-haired man stood up and straightened his gray shirt and pants after the wagon stopped moving. With a studious look at the town, he jumped down from the wagon, pulling his sword from the wagon's floor as he landed on the ground.
Emerin was hired on as a guard by the lone merchant in exchange for the ride. He had also been promised a small payment in gold for his service, which he promptly requested from the merchant as he departed. After receiving his payment, Emerin headed for the gate alongside the wagon as it rolled into town.
The bustling streets were filled with people from all over the kingdom, and wagon's filled with more people and goods lined the main road's edges. Emerin pushed his way through to the other side of the road and made his way to a sign planted in the ground near an intersection. The sign pointed farther down the road, and on the sign read 'The Journeyman's Respite'.
Emerin took a quick look to each end of the road, searching for any straggling wagons still making their way through the crowd, then crossed the road and moved toward the inn. He pushed his way through the crowd, keeping one hand on his coin bag, and the other on his sword strapped to his waist.
He soon saw a large building closer to the east end of town with a sign hanging just over the door. People were entering and exiting the building in rapid succession, causing the door to open and close with the frequency of a bird's wing in mid-flight. Just before reaching the door himself, Emerin heard the familiar clang of a smith's hammer pounding iron on an anvil. He looked to see the smithy located just next to the inn, and a tall red-haired man wearing a smith's apron working the forge inside.
Emerin continued on the inn and opened the door. The lobby was filled with tables and chairs, and a crowd of people. No chair remained empty on the floor. Emerin looked to the bar near the stairs to see the innkeeper, a short, stocky old man collecting keys from the shelves behind him and handing them out to a small group of people still waiting to receive them. The innkeeper motioned to a young red-haired woman wearing a black shirt and pants, who led the group up the stairs to their assigned rooms.
Emerin made his way to the bar and gestured to the innkeeper, who strode towards him and asked "What can I be doin' for ye, today? A room, or maybe some grog?" "Just a room, for now," Emerin replied. The innkeeper nodded and went for the shelves on the wall once more. "Let's see what we still got, here," he said as he searched the shelves. After a while, he returned to the bar and said "Ye're in luck, boy. This is the last one." He handed the key to Emerin, who took and asked "Which room?" The innkeeper said "Well, that'll be the last door on the right, after ye get up them stairs." Emerin nodded to the innkeeper and said "Thank you," then started up the stairs. As he took the first step, he heard the innkeeper behind him bellow after him, saying "Watch yer step, boy!"
Emerin stopped just in time to see the red-haired woman from before coming down the stairs. She was very pretty, with soft blue eyes and a warm smile one her face. She glanced at him for an instant as she passed him and made her way back to the bar. "So, that's the last of the rooms, right?" Emerin heard her ask as he continued up the stairs. Her voice was soft, but possessed a happy tone as she spoke to the innkeeper.
Ten years ago, he was just an old widower with barely anything to his name. When he heard that the old innkeeper was arrested for consorting with slavers, he bought the deed to the inn, which wasn't worth much due to the lack of business in those days. It wasn't much later when he discovered from a town guard that a certain pair of orphans were in need of a place to stay. He soon took them in and taught them to work hard, and they did. The young man took up an apprenticeship under the local blacksmith, and the girl helped keep the inn clean and tidy. In exchange for their hard work, he cared for them as though they were his own children, and over time he came to love them as his own children.
Suddenly, the door flew open, and a slightly aged man wearing leather armor entered. Mandon recognized him as one of the town guards. "Hail, ye brave sod!" he shouted. "Come, have some swill to shake off the dust from yer standin' guard all day!" "No time for a drink right now, old man," the guard replied. "I'm on official business."
He reached into a bag on his belt and pulled out a tangled clump of hair covered in dried blood. He then slammed his fist upon the bar to draw everyone's attention before shouting "Listen up! We've a savage beast roaming in the woods to the east! The lord of Bellepoint has issued this decree: anyone brave and willing to hunt this monster will be rewarded handsomely!"
When Starlen heard the decree, she rushed over to the guard. "Lieutenant Landin," she addressed him. "Did this monster attack someone?" "Aye, miss," the guard replied, a grim look on his face. "One of the merchants was attacked when he tried to leave the east gate. The guards posted there were killed trying to protect him. The merchant himself is safe, though." He looked upon the crowd once more and noticed several men and women standing up and refitting themselves for battle. He nodded his approval before asking Starlen "Will your brother join us? His help would be appreciated."
Starlen looked at him for a moment before saying "If you want my brother's help, he'll be there. Just be sure to bring him back in the same number of pieces he's already in." She smiled and winked at Landin, who returned the smile and said "My dear, if your brother comes along, we may have to try our damnedest to keep the monster in one piece."
Seeing the young man, Mandon strode over from where he was cleaning the used mugs with a rag. "What can I be getting for ya?" he asked the man. "Another pint of that delicious specialty of yours, my good man," the young man replied. As the innkeeper nodded and went to fill up another mug, the man looked to the staircase.
After a while, Emerin came back down the stairs, ready to grab a drink at last. He stopped, however, when the man sitting at the bar waved him over. He looked around to find the inn nearly empty, as only a few guests remained at their tables. The red-haired girl was busy cleaning off the empty tables and taking the used mugs back to the kitchen. He looked back at the mysterious young man, who waved him over again after regaining his attention.
Emerin walked cautiously to the bar where the man sat, his left hand resting on the hilt of his sword. One thing that life on the road had taught him was to always be wary of unknown people seeking your attention. Still, he heeded the man, not willing to discard the possibility that he was friendly. "Hail and well met, friend," the man said as Emerin drew close. "Pull up a stool, for I have a proposition for you. It was recently proclaimed by a guard in this town that a monster has been killing people on the road." Emerin sat beside him while the innkeeper returned with a full mug and placed it on the bar in front of the young man, who showed his gratitude by taking a long draw from it before continuing. "Such a beast would surely be right up your alley, you being so armed as you are."
Emerin looked at him a moment before asking "Why tell me this if you're so interested? What am I to you?" "Well, that is a good question," the man responded. "Let me start with an introduction. I am Ronan, a storyteller and minstrel. I sing songs and tell stories that can make an earth elemental cry, and can melt the heart of an ice troll. But enough about me. Let's talk about you." He took another drink from his mug before continuing. "I saw you walking in. Your stride was quick and deliberate, graceful, yet determined. You move like a real fighter." He took another drink. "What you are to me is a potential partner in making a fortune in this town, and many others. For example," he said before taking another drink. "The two of us could steal the reward for slaying the monster in the woods by going there ourselves, finding it, and slaying it before anyone else even finds the beast."
Ronan took another long drink, draining the mug of its contents, and looked expectantly at Emerin, who started shaking his head. "How would we find it before everyone else?" he asked. Ronan smiled and replied "What if I told you I could sing a song to lure it to us, instead of us searching for it?" Emeril laughed aloud at that notion, but Ronan's smile remained. Emerin stopped laughing and asked "Seriously?"
His hands...he looked down at the artificial left hand mounted on his wrist. Made of iron forged by him, with metal hinges to serve as its joints, the new appendage was made to be strong and durable, and could serve as a weapon in its own way. Of course, it doesn't erase the memory of the night he lost the original.
He saw Landin approach him, and he had an idea of what he could need. It was obvious that many of the travelers were preparing for some dangerous work. He nodded silently to Landin as the lieutenant approached.
"Working hard, I see," Landin said, eyeing the newly forged halberd resting against the far wall. It was an exquisite piece of work; the black S-shaped blade firmly fitted to a long metal shaft of the same color. "I've been experimenting," Kaiser replied in a deep voice, lowering his gaze to meet Landin's. The young blacksmith stood almost three heads taller than the lieutenant, and he was barely able to get through a doorway without having to lower his head. His one good eye stared unblinking at the lieutenant, while the other, a lidless white orb, was constantly exposed due to Kaiser not wanting wear a patch. Three long, jagged scars stretched down from the damaged eye to his chin. As a result, his stare was always at least a little off-putting.
"I've been trying out some new enchantments that I learned from my master," Kaiser continued, gesturing to the halberd. "This weapon possesses some of my favorites." Landin smiled at that and asked "Would you consider using it against something strong?" Kaiser tilted his head, showing his interest in that request. "We've got a problem with some of the local wildlife," Landin continued. "Some ferocious beast has been attacking merchants and killing guards out by the east gate. You probably heard the ruckus, right?"
Kaiser looked around, as if to emphasize the existence of the large, and loud, crowd swarming the streets. He looked back at Landin and said "No." "Good point," Landin replied, conceding the issue. "I suppose it was too much to ask for you to have enhanced hearing along with all that strength." He smirked at Kaiser, who sighed. He wasn't so arrogant that he would take much pride in his strength, even if it was superior to an average man's. Still, he wasn't about to let an opportunity like this one pass him by. He had been itching to leave the town and search the nearby woods again for any sign of his father. With a short nod to Landin, he entered the smithy's shop that was connected to the forge. Some time later, he returned.
"My master now knows of this business, and he has allowed me to leave for a time to go on this hunt with you," he explained. "Excellent!" Landin replied. Kaiser reached for the halberd and, picking it up, examined the blade one last time. It was every bit as sharp as he could make it. He hung his apron and pulled a long black coat off a rack to the side, pulled it on, and started buttoning it from the waist up. The coat, also enchanted for added protection, was one of his favorite possessions. He looked back at Landin and said "Ready for action, Lieutenant."
Your story is pulling me in again, making me curious about what is going on and what's going to happen next. Nice work!
I don't know why I lost so many updates, maybe because of the inevitable time gaps between updates. Anyway I see that you manage to detail (important) people and places and thus make the story more visual for the reader (something I attach great importance to in creative writing), without compromising its pace. I can only applaud your effort and wish you the perseverance to continue this.
I have a few comments for you. I hope you take them in a good way. They're meant to help you polish your fine writing, not as negative criticism. I would say at the last line: "how had she kept him alive with wounds so grave, and where had she gone?" because the boy's questions refer to events further back in time. "or at least they seemed to be empty", or: "or at least seemingly empty". Here you'd probably want to remove the word 'that' or add something at the end of the sentence. I might be a bit like your professors, @Nonnahswriter and @Nimran. It's probably due to a predilection for the great novels of the 1800s and early 1900s plus my schooling as a lawyer, makes me want to be complete, precise, unequivocal and concise at the same time. My experience with creative writing is very limited though, so I'm no authority on the matter at all. But in this particular setting, a fantasy world unknown to the reader, I wouldn't necessarily consider it superfluous to point out that the kid is special/unique (as opposed to one of various famous 'special' children/people, like the Bhaalspawn were at one point). Something like "The innkeeper nearly squealed in awe of the boy's supernatural strength." wouldn't sound redundant to me. I like your rich, descriptive style Nimran, and I hope you won't change it too much. Not a big deal probably because the narrative of the boy's early years ends here, but of all the direct speech you've used so far (which I find really good), the boy's words here were the only ones that felt a bit out of place to me, too mature/formal perhaps. "I've seen better days" is something I'd expect from battle-hardened Anomen after Firkraag has been slain, but no so much from a 10 year old boy. The word 'affect' is a bit dubious imo as well. I doubt I knew that word (or at least its equivalent in my native tongue) when I was 10. Again, I'd go with 'had transpired' rather than 'transpired', for the same reason as the one mentioned in my first comment above. The part in italics did feel a bit redundant to me as Starlen had just called him 'Lieutenant Landin' (a few paragraphs earlier).
Again, my intention with these comments is to help you. (Why else would I take the time to read and reply?) Note that these are minor things; you're doing a really good job man.
I'll be sure to edit those parts, and will try not to repeat the mistakes.
"Have I already told you about the time I tamed a rampaging bear using only my beautiful singing voice and a broken lute?" Ronan asked, and he looked at Emerin expectantly as he finished, forcing him to answer. "Why, yes. Yes, you have," Emerin answered, hoping beyond hope that his lie might put an end to the long-winded stories that truly did nothing but make Ronan look good. Ronan stopped walking and stared at Emerin before saying "Now I know you're not listening. I never told you that story, but that's about to be rectified." He started walking behind Emerin, and said in a rather loud and robust tone "It was quite a sight! He was a massive, ferocious beast, and he had very nearly torn apart the entire group of hunters that had gone to slay him, when I, in my usual knack for arriving just in time, appeared on the edge of the battle. 'Do not fear', I said, for only I knew how to calm the savage beast's raging heart..."
Emerin sighed again, as he found himself longing for silence once more. As Ronan's ridiculously exaggerated story went on, he became less attentive to it, though he began to feel different as the story went on. He felt himself being inexorably drawn back to the tale after every time he lost interest, which was often. The strange sensation eventually overwhelmed his sensibilities, and he soon clung to every word of Ronan's story as if it could contain the secret to staying alive in such situations as the one described.
When Ronan stopped talking, Emerin turned back to look at him, part of him hoping that the storyteller would continue, and the other part wondering why. Ronan's eyes sparkled, the light dancing in their gaze, and he flashed a mischievous grin at Emerin. He blinked, and the glint in his eyes returned to its normal state. "How did you like that story?" he asked his puzzled companion. "What did you do?" Emerin couldn't help but ask. "Oh, just a little charming smile and a bit of magic," Ronan replied, his grin growing even larger. "I didn't want you to be bored, so I added a little spice to my tale to keep things interesting." Emerin's puzzled look became more curious, and he asked "Where did you learn to do that?" "The same place I learned to charm animals with my songs," Ronan replied.
For a time, they continued in silence, passing through the thick walls of trees with no small amount of difficulty. They often had to walk completely around large patches of trees, which hindered their progress considerably. Finally, after a long silence, Emerin asked "Where exactly are we going?" "I figured I'd lead us into the deeper part of the woods," Ronan replied. He had made his way back in front of Emerin, who now followed him cautiously, determined not to fall under his spell again. "That's where the larger, more dangerous nasties are located. If anything was capable of killing some guards, they would be there. That, and I can only charm monsters when they're comfortable, so we'll want to be in their natural habitat."
The pair continued on until they reached a small clearing. Emerin nearly left the shelter of the trees, but Ronan pulled him back roughly. "What-" he started to protest, but Ronan's hand was quicker as he immediately cupped it over his partner's mouth. "Look before you leap," he whispered, and he let go of Emerin, who turned to face the clearing. He saw a monster that made him shiver. The beast was gigantic in stature. It walked on four legs ending in large clawed feet. Its long tail wrapped itself around the beast's blue scaled body, while three long necks ending in serpentine heads extended to the ground, the heads tearing into a bloody pile of meat that Emerin couldn't identify.
Ronan whistled softly and turned his head to address Emerin, whose jaw was on the ground, his eyes wide with surprise. Ronan looked down at the monster's dinner and sighed. "Doesn't look like human meat," he said. He looked back at Emerin and whispered "This big guy here is a sylvan hydra. They're the top predators in many forested areas, including this one." Emerin shook his head and whispered back "If this thing didn't attack the guards, then what are we going to do?" "Well, I didn't say anything about it not attacking guards," Ronan answered. "We also need this clearing for our plan to work." He looked back to the hydra and asked "How long do you think you can keep it occupied?" Emerin looked at Ronan and replied "You're joking, right?" "Hey, you can leave if you want," Ronan replied, shrugging his shoulders. "You just won't get paid." Emerin sighed, drew his sword, and walked out into the clearing.
His head turned back to the thick line of trees that marked the border of the forest, and his thoughts drifted back in time to when he was a child. He remembered climbing many of those trees, swinging from the branches, and leaping down upon unsuspecting monsters. He used to enjoy the thrill of running away from the startled beasts, though if they persisted in chasing him, he would turn around and punch them to send them flying back into the trees. They usually gave up after that.
He vaguely recalled the small cottage where he grew up. The sounds and smells of that tiny paradise had been all but forgotten with time, but he remembered the warm faces of his brothers and sisters, who often mocked him playfully about his pacifism, as he never wanted to harm a single monster in the woods. He would play with them, surely, but he tried to avoid any serious conflict.
His thoughts returned to the present, and he lamented over what had changed. The cottage was likely now an overgrown ruin, his siblings were either dead or scattered, and his mother, who had cared for her children with all of her heart, was dead. He closed his good eye and tried to remember her face, but all he remembered was the silent, severed head that tumbled away from the corpse that was once her, held in the air by a massive hand.
Kaiser soon heard the sound of heavy footsteps behind him. He turned to see the other hunters a king their way closer to him. With a shake of his head, Kaiser pushed those memories and feelings away, determined not to let them interfere with his current mission. He had to be strong for the people he now traveled with. He let out a sigh and started walking again, his eye set on the trees in front of him.
"The past doesn't matter," be quietly muttered to himself. "But the hunt is still on." He spoke those last words with a snarl, as he considered the real reason for his participation in this hunt.
The hydra raised its three heads and turned to address the intruder, while it's tail unwrapped itself from its body. Emerin had already begun casting a new spell, the fingers of his free hand waving about in a frenzy as they performed the necessary movements for the casting, his lips quietly chanting a different phrase. While he did this, he broke into a sprint, and he got within reach of the hydra's heads just as he finished casting.
The hydra snapped its left head at Emerin, who ducked to the right underneath the fanged jaws. As he stood back up, he swung his sword over his head and brought it down on the beast's neck. The sword itself did little against the tough scales, but the impact caused the power of his latest spell to activate, and many small bolts of lightning jumped from the sword's blade to the scaled hide, sending a painful jolt down the length of its neck.
The hydra's two other heads roared in pain, and its other head pulled back suddenly. Emerin did not follow through with his attack though, as he was forced to roll under a swinging tail. He was quick enough to bring his sword across the tail's unprotected underside as it pulled back again to rest on the ground behind the hydra's body, but the blade only left a narrow cut. It was enough for the beast to howl once more, though a new sound accompanied it. It was a sound that seemed too familiar for Emerin's liking.
The hydra's right head snarled, and a bolt of lightning similar to, but larger than Emerin's own arced down from its fanged lips, while the other two heads reared back to snap at him. Emerin knew the heads would strike when the bolt hits either the ground or him, and he rolled back to avoid the bolt while keeping his sword above him as much as possible so that the heads could not find a way through easily. The bolt hit the ground just where he was, and the heads snapped forward...and stopped just before they bit him.
Emerin stood back up on his feet and looked at the now motionless hydra. The beast's two attacking heads were suspended, jaws wide open, just above where he rolled to. He began to back away when a sound reached his ears. A beautiful, mournful song filled the clearing, sung by a man's voice. Emerin looked behind him to see Ronan singing the song, and he stared in awe as he listened to the wordless tune. He was barely able to notice the singer's hands signaling him to attack.
Emerin grinned and brought his sword across as he turned to slice through the left head's mouth. Once inside, he turned the blade and forced it up, nearly severing the head. He pulled out his sword as the still-frozen hydra started to shudder, and did the same to its middle head. He raced between the two long necks and ducked underneath its body to plunge his sword deep into its chest, through its belly, and out through the other end. Ronan stopped singing, and the hydra collapsed to the ground, its body shuddering violently as it died.
Ronan stepped further into the clearing and said "That was some nice teamwork. Good job, Em!" "Em?" Emerin asked before shaking his head. "What do you mean teamwork?" He then asked. "I fought that thing almost single-handed!" "Right," Ronan replied. "Then, once it was distracted, I jumped in and bravely saved the day."
Emerin shook his head again. As much as he hated to admit it, he probably would have died if not for Ronan. Still, he knew he couldn't give the arrogant minstrel the satisfaction of being right. "Let's not forget, it was you who conveniently forgot to mention the little fact that this thing can use magic!" He shouted. Ronan just smirked and said "But dear sir, it was you who forgot to ask." He winked at Emerin and moved to inspect the hydra's corpse. He smiled and turned back to Emerin. "Now, we just need to clear out the remains," he said. He stared at Emerin, who answered by shaking his head as saying "You can't really be asking me to move this thing by myself." Ronan smirked again and replied "Of course! You owe me after I just saved your life." "You're the one who came up with this crazy idea to begin with," Emerin said coldly. "How exactly am I going to move this huge monster's corpse by myself?" "I'm sure you'll figure something out," Ronan replied. "You'd better hurry though, those other guys are closing in as we speak."
Emerin let out yet another deep sigh and began casting another spell. Once he was finished, he started walking toward the corpse. "Smartarse son of a-" he muttered as he walked past Ronan, whose arrogant smirk widened.
Two men suddenly burst through the door, one a large man with long blond hair wearing a suit of red plate armor and a large greatsword strapped to his back, and the other a smaller man with short dark hair wearing a black buttoned shirt and pants and carrying two short swords on his waist. "Welcome!" Starlen said cheerfully as she exited the lobby and entered the kitchen. The large man grunted in response and the smaller man smiled and nodded at her as she left. The two men found a table in the farthest corner from the bar and sat down.
Some time later, after Starlen had finished with the dishes, she returned to the lobby to find that four other men had entered the inn. They were all dressed in black leather, with swords on their belts. They were making their way toward the two men in the corner. Starlen knew enough about how they walked to know they weren't in the mood for conversation. She quietly slipped back into the kitchen, hoping Mandon, who was already inside the kitchen, doesn't notice what's happening and get himself hurt again trying to keep order. She told him to leave things to her if the guests ever started a fight, but the men who just entered may need more than a little arm twisting to calm down.
As she left, the men reached the table, and one of them, a short, stocky bald man, said "Hey now, boys, doesn't this look like the man who took out Grey Calder?" He gestured toward the large man sitting at the table. "Yeah, boss," answered one of the other men. "He's the guy." The large man ignored them and stared down at the table, but his partner acknowledged them, asking "What if he is? Do you have some kind of connection to that slaver?" The men behind the short man reached for their swords, but the dark-haired man sitting down moved faster, his own swords flashing from their sheaths as he jumped into the trio. He sliced open the closest man's neck, then leaped around the dying man to engage the two others.
The short man turned and started to draw his sword, but the large man grabbed his hand as it touched the hilt. He stood, easily towering over the shorter man, and delivered a hard punch to the man's belly. The man started to crumple to the floor, but the large man grabbed him roughly with both hands and lifted him up off the ground. The short struggled to get free, but his opponent's grip was unbreakable, and the large man turned and threw him down onto the table, then started to pummel him with more punches. After the short man lost consciousness, the large man turned back to the fight. His partner was standing between the two remaining men, his swords moving quickly to parry his opponents' own swords. The two men were obviously becoming frustrated, as none of their strikes were making it past his blades. With a grin, the large man drew his greatsword from his back and rushed toward the man on his right.
His victim didn't see him coming, and the blade of his sword plunged into his belly and out though his upper back. The large man lifted his impaled victim off the ground, chuckling sadistically as he savored the kill. His partner brought his freed sword arm around and took the offensive, his sudden strikes coming in rapid succession as both of his blades coordinated with each other. The speed of his aggressive flurry forced his opponent on the defensive, and he quickly broke through that defense, as both of his swords suddenly flashed across to his right to force his opponent's own sword far out to his side. He followed through without hesitation, thrusting both blades through the man's neck and pulling them apart, severing his head completely.
As the last two corpses fell to the floor, the two men looked down at the mess and frowned. "We probably should have taken this outside," the dark-haired man said as he pulled out a rag from a pocket on his chest and started wiping his swords clean. The large man simply grunted in response before he sheathed his greatsword and walked back to the table where the short man was starting to wake up. He pulled the dazed man into a sitting position on the table and asked "Who sent you after me? Another one of your friends in the Ebon Sun?" The short man said nothing, but he managed to spit in the large man's face. Angered by the insult, the large man threw him back down onto the table, drew his greatsword, and smashed the short man and the table to pieces.
"Well, so much for that," the dark-haired man remarked, drawing a stern look from his companion. That look quickly turned to one of surprise just before a mug flew into his face. "Ugh!" the large man shouted as his head snapped back from the force of the blow, which proved to be harder than he thought. The dark-haired man turned to see Starlen glaring at them from across the room. "I just cleaned that table!" She yelled, brandishing a sword in her right hand. "And look at what you did to the floor! Do you know how long it will take to get the blood out?!"
Woo! Go Starlen!
The large man didn't have time to react, and Starlen's foot connected hard with his leg, causing him to stumble to the side. She then leaped at the large man and launched another kick, which connected with his belly. The force was enough to cause him to fall backward, and he crashed onto the floor. The dark-haired man jumped back into the fray, his swords slicing through the air in rapid succession, but Starlen quickly and effortlessly turned and parried each strike, her one sword moving as quickly as both of his, sending both of his blades out wide. She then delivered a powerful punch to his face, her free hand causing a cracking sound as it slammed into his jaw. He went down, landing hard on his back, and laid there, knocked out.
Starlen heard a heavy footstep behind her and turned to see the large man staggering back to his feet. She leveled her sword at him and said "Don't think you can get away with making a mess in this inn while I'm here." "Aye, you're not bad at all," the large man replied as he stood back up. Starlen sensed movement behind her and turned to see his companion rubbing his jaw and staggering to his feet. "I don't think we can afford to hold back anymore," the large man continued. He suddenly rushed forward with a downward swing fast enough to catch any normal person off-guard, but Starlen was hardly a normal person, and she sidestepped and avoided the attack. She responded by throwing her arm back, slamming her sword's pommel into his ribs as he passed her. The large man grunted in surprise when he felt the impact. Though his armor protected him from any damage, Starlen's attacks were surprisingly forceful, and it was clear to him that she wasn't trying to kill anyone, because he knew that she certainly could have succeeded if she was. Still, he was never one to back down from a challenge.
He turned suddenly and swung his sword horizontally yet again, but this time he released the grip of his right hand and threw a punch. Starlen ducked and avoided the sword, but the heavy fist connected with her belly. She winced as she stumbled backward, and the large man followed her with another punch aiming for her head. She saw it coming and ducked, swinging her sword upward as she straightened, but the dark-haired man jumped in front of his partner and blocked the attack with his left sword. He then brought his other sword down to trap the blade between both of his, while his partner rushed in with his fist.
Starlen surprised both men then when she bent over backwards at the waist, causing the fist to fly clearly over her head. She jumped and planted her feet on the dark-haired man's knees, then pushed with all of her strength, sending the man back to the floor and freeing her sword in the process. She landed on a nearby table and hooked her left foot around another chair's leg, then flung her leg forward to send the chair rocketing toward the large man, who was charging at her. He brought his greatsword up in time to deflect the chair, but Starlen rolled off the table and underneath the sword to kick his shin again. As he stumbled back against another table, he dropped his greatsword and grabbed the table with both hands, then turned and flung it at Starlen, who ducked under it as it flew past and smashed into the wall.
The large man snarled in frustration and, retrieving his sword, ran at Starlen. Starlen waited until he was close before leaping at him suddenly, her sword aiming at his throat. The large man Just barely dodged the sudden strike, and he countered with a downward slash. Starlen stopped moving just before the large blade swung down, and it barely missed her, hitting the floor just an inch in front of her. "I'm starting to get used to fighting you," the large man said. "You might just find yourself in two pieces before long." "You really don't have a clue, do you?" Starlen replied. "It won't take that long for the guards to arrive."
As if on cue, the front door burst open, and Varnam the guard captain walked in, followed by seven guards. "This disturbance is over!" Varnam declared as the guards moved to apprehend the two men. The large man sighed and lowered his greatsword, and his partner likewise surrendered. After securing their weapons, the guards escorted them outside, while Varnam turned to Starlen. "Sorry for arriving a bit late, ma'am," he said. "We'll see to it that these troublemakers are locked up for a good long time."
Starlen smiled and nodded, and the guard captain left with a short bow, following after his men. Starlen let out a deep sigh as she surveyed the lobby and the damaged furniture. "Looks like another long shift for me," she said as she started to pick up pieces of a chair.