A myconid's first run through the Dale
OneAngryMushroom
Member Posts: 564
I bought Icewind Dale with absolutely no previous knowledge of it or any of its plot. Lets have a go at this blind walkthrough thing. I'll reload but only if I fail in combat. I won't reload to get a better ending to a quest or something similar. Playing on normal difficulty.
My party is
Myconid Berzerker
Dwarven Priest of Tempus
Elf Archer
Human Assassin
Half Elf Bard
Half Elf Mage/Cleric
The party wakes up in a bar. Fantastic start. A large armored man approaches the bar. I assume that he's here to throw us out but he instead introduces himself as Hrothgar. One of the thousands of Hrothgars in the Ten Towns and in fantasy in general I assume. He tells me to buy stuff and meet him in his home later. Right... meet a strange heavily armed and armored man in his own home. That doesn't sound like a trap.
I notice that my party has no equipment whatsoever so I assume that these are people so hardcore that they can wander around the most dangerous and unexplored parts of Faerun and survive with nothing but the skimpy, somewhat revealing shirts off their backs. A little boy tells me that there are monsters to the south. I threaten to throw him in a lake if he's lying. I don't like kids.
I find some goblins who quickly disagreed with my previous assumption that my party is a bunch of badasses and quickly raised their objections. With arrows. *Reload*
My party is not filled with hardcore adventurers that can brave the ice wastes half naked. They are morons. I go to the local adventure mart and find inside some entitled jerk who thinks he's a lot more important than he is. I shut him up real quick by giving him the truth that everybody in town has wanted to tell him for years. I then buy the party's gear from him. At a drastic mark up I can only assume. I don't like the guy so I send Assassin upstairs to rob him blind. Find some gold and a green High Quality Dagger.
High. Quality. Dagger...
Wat.jpg
I look at the stats and it says has a +1 to THAC0. My filthy 3.5e mind immediately makes the connection that is masterwork. SCORE! Now I can shank things in style. Have Assassin go down stairs and the shopkeep is looking at me. OH GOD HE KNOWS! just walk just walk. Go outside. Decide to pay the goblins a return visit. With my own arrows. Pass by some children freaking out over a squirrel. I treat the goblins to an old adventurer favorite. The Arrow Breakfast Special. I got pincushioned by the archers again.
Oh Right. Goblins are still a threat at level 1. *Reload* I decide to go all out and use the big guns. Sleep and Arrows, works like a charm and I find a fish. HELL YES! I AM GOING TO EAT THE CRAP OUTTA THIS FISH! Go back to the boy and he takes my fish. OI! I wanted to eat that!
Wander around town some more. See the children still freaking out about the squirrel. Talk to some guy that says a wolf is in his house. Try to open the door. Its locked. ASSASSIN GET TO WORK! Assassin tries and he fails. he tries and he fails. ~fast foward 10 minutes~ He tries and he succeeds. HA HA! Beautiful work man. Go inside kill a wolf get a dagger from the guy.
Wander around some more and notice a way out of town. Follow it. Go to a new area. YES! don't have to deal with that creepy Hrothgar guy. Explore and kill orcs and find a cave. CAVE! ADVENTURE HO! Go inside and kill more orks. Decide to have Assassin explore while hiding in shadows.
Thats a lot of orcs. Decide to call it a night
My party is
Myconid Berzerker
Dwarven Priest of Tempus
Elf Archer
Human Assassin
Half Elf Bard
Half Elf Mage/Cleric
The party wakes up in a bar. Fantastic start. A large armored man approaches the bar. I assume that he's here to throw us out but he instead introduces himself as Hrothgar. One of the thousands of Hrothgars in the Ten Towns and in fantasy in general I assume. He tells me to buy stuff and meet him in his home later. Right... meet a strange heavily armed and armored man in his own home. That doesn't sound like a trap.
I notice that my party has no equipment whatsoever so I assume that these are people so hardcore that they can wander around the most dangerous and unexplored parts of Faerun and survive with nothing but the skimpy, somewhat revealing shirts off their backs. A little boy tells me that there are monsters to the south. I threaten to throw him in a lake if he's lying. I don't like kids.
I find some goblins who quickly disagreed with my previous assumption that my party is a bunch of badasses and quickly raised their objections. With arrows. *Reload*
My party is not filled with hardcore adventurers that can brave the ice wastes half naked. They are morons. I go to the local adventure mart and find inside some entitled jerk who thinks he's a lot more important than he is. I shut him up real quick by giving him the truth that everybody in town has wanted to tell him for years. I then buy the party's gear from him. At a drastic mark up I can only assume. I don't like the guy so I send Assassin upstairs to rob him blind. Find some gold and a green High Quality Dagger.
High. Quality. Dagger...
Wat.jpg
I look at the stats and it says has a +1 to THAC0. My filthy 3.5e mind immediately makes the connection that is masterwork. SCORE! Now I can shank things in style. Have Assassin go down stairs and the shopkeep is looking at me. OH GOD HE KNOWS! just walk just walk. Go outside. Decide to pay the goblins a return visit. With my own arrows. Pass by some children freaking out over a squirrel. I treat the goblins to an old adventurer favorite. The Arrow Breakfast Special. I got pincushioned by the archers again.
Oh Right. Goblins are still a threat at level 1. *Reload* I decide to go all out and use the big guns. Sleep and Arrows, works like a charm and I find a fish. HELL YES! I AM GOING TO EAT THE CRAP OUTTA THIS FISH! Go back to the boy and he takes my fish. OI! I wanted to eat that!
Wander around town some more. See the children still freaking out about the squirrel. Talk to some guy that says a wolf is in his house. Try to open the door. Its locked. ASSASSIN GET TO WORK! Assassin tries and he fails. he tries and he fails. ~fast foward 10 minutes~ He tries and he succeeds. HA HA! Beautiful work man. Go inside kill a wolf get a dagger from the guy.
Wander around some more and notice a way out of town. Follow it. Go to a new area. YES! don't have to deal with that creepy Hrothgar guy. Explore and kill orcs and find a cave. CAVE! ADVENTURE HO! Go inside and kill more orks. Decide to have Assassin explore while hiding in shadows.
Thats a lot of orcs. Decide to call it a night
15
Comments
Good playthrough.
The rest of the cave goes pretty well. Find orcs, kill orcs, get orc stuff.
Have Assassin sneak around and stumble upon an ogre surrounded by orcs. My BG instincts tell me this is suicide. Fortunately I never listen to my BG instincts. Which upon further introspection might explain why I'm so bad at Infinity games... I charge in have Bard cast sleep on the ogre and have Berzerker go bananas on everything else. Works like a charm. Many big things with green skin colors are dead now!
I explore further looking for a way forward so I don't have to deal with Hrothgar, the creepy git. Raid some boxes near the middle of the cave and discover there's other way out. Crap.
Go back to town. Kids are STILL freaking out over the squirrel. Start breaking into peoples houses and robbing them after talking to them. One of them asks about a caravan. I give him the news about the orcs I killed and suddenly forgot that I had raided the thing. Pass by some green naked woman and I do what any sane man would do. I go up and talk to her. She *tells* me about some guy and his sword and how she needs to return it to his family line.
Sweet! Free magic sword! Look in inventory, aaaaaannd its broken.
TheHellIsThisCrap.jpg
Give the broken sword to the fisher dude and grumble about it for the rest of the day. Those kids are STILL going nuts over that squirrel. I decide to free this small hamlet of the squirrel threat and save the children. ARCHER! DO YOUR THING!. The squirrel is completely unfazed. Children and townsfolk alike are screaming and panicking. Doing the brave adventurer thing I rush the evil rodent and attempt to vanquish it. Except, nothing was working, then it dawned on me. the squirrel was INVINCIBLE!
OH YE GODS! WHAT DO I DO? WHAT DO I DO?! It must be possessed by some evil spirit. SAVE ME HROTHGAR!
I run into Hrothgar's house and rush him out of the village, accepting whatever inane quest he needs me to do. We just need to get out of town before everyone dies. As we leave the small hamlet I notice that the evil invincible squirrel is still there terrorizing the townsfolk. Fortunately Hrothgar doesn't seem to notice or care. I give one last glance at the village knowing that I will be the last one to see it and anyone in it alive. I can only pray that Super Squirrel doesn't hold grudges.
Oh and an avalanche killed Hrothgar. No big loss. Decide to explore the area
GOBLINS. GOBLINS EVERYWHERE. Kill all the goblins but you can't because there's always more. Dwarf Cleric makes comments about goblin pie. Question his sense of taste.
Its getting dark and most of my party was nearly out of health and ammo. Decide that sleeping through the middle of the night in what must be the equivalent of northern Siberia in the middle of winter is not a grand idea. I go inside a tower I found earlier and find an ogre inside. He goes on about how his head hurts and that he's about to smash it against a wall to make the pain stop. I politely give my advice on how that's a really stupid idea.
The ogre took exception to that and raised his objections with a large morning star. The goblins earlier having taught us that monster often raise objections to adventures I am prepared and kill the ogre.
I call it a night and the party dines on ogre meat.
*Edit* I fail at geography
Party wakes up in an abandoned tower. Not actually half bad. We leave the area and decide to follow the path northwards. Goblins and dead beetles. I don't remember much about the 2e monster manual but I'm pretty sure that beetles are push overs. I follow the path to a caver where I find 3 giant beetles eating goblins have the party surround and melee one of them. it attacks the bard and brings her down to 1 HP in one hit
Note to self: Beetles are NOT to be messed with
I then range attack all the beetles to death and steal from dead goblins\
I explore some more and find a Goblin leader complain about headaches or something. Considering I caused an ogre to go crazy the last time I was confronted with this problem I decide to leave him be.
Make it to Kuldahar and JEEZ that is a big tree. I wander around town meet Merchants and find the bar and get quests. Decide to meet this High Druid guy. I enter his tree house. and click on the guy. He takes a boxing pose. This guy is legit. I dub him Boxer Druid.
he tells me of a vague evil that has been plaguing the land and how I must go save the tree
I get the distinct impression that this games budget was not spent on the story. anyways I head towards the Vale of Shadows when a guy comes screaming about a yeti. My entire party is spread out through out the entire map and only my rogue is only one within range. Only one thing Assassin can do. KITE LIKE A LITTLE WUSS! about 5 minutes later my party arrives to find a half dead rogue being beaten by a large snow gorilla. One dead Yeti later we walk to the vale of shadows
The vale of shadows. wander around kill a yeti and some shadows. find a crypt, Clear a crypt. So many skeletons. Find a few talking ones that demand some keys I found.
I tell them no, I like the keys. They didn't like that so once again violence is the only option. Eventually I find a cave in the ice and decide to raid it. No ones home so i loot the crates in a corner.
FINALLY MAGIC WEAPON. but only my Clermage can use it. still better than nothing. Find a bunch of statues outside a really big cave entrance.
Looks like a place where evil would set up shop.
I go through the dungeon and trigger EVERY dang trap and fight of an army of skeletons. Seriously an
entire army. And magic ghouls. WHO MAKES MAGIC GHOULS. I win the fights mostly by cheesing with agro range.
I end up in the main hall and meet a spectral night. Expeting the fight of my life I decide to fall asleep amongst dead bodies and call it a night.
You might be immune to poison Archdruid, but you sure ain't immune to beer bellies!
Cause DAMN!
Alright I think I fixed this internet issue... Oh Crap! its been a week since I've posted!
The party wakes up in crypt. Actually not that bad a result of falling asleep in a crypt full of evil undead things that may or may not eat flesh depending on stereotypes. Have Assassin sneak into the main burial chamber. Oh yeah, it's a spectral knight. Definitely, definitely a Spectral Knight. OH BY HELM! Have assassin run back to the party and have all the casters pre-buff and pull a suicidal move. I charge the sucker. Oddly enough he does not initiate combat. Well, don't I have a bit of egg on my face. I decide to talk to him.
Mr. Spectral Knight. Now Mr. SpecKni for short, also Mr. SpecKni speaks in a posh British accent in my head. Anyways Mr. SpecKni tells me that some priest of Auril ,a major ice queen from what I can tell, wants to come in and put out fires and if I get rid of her he'll tell me what the evil plaguing the super tree is. I like fire so I decide to help out. But then the words of Papa Shroom come back to me
"Son if you ever find yourself confronted with the soul of a dead knight in evil armor kept in a vague parody of live by necrotic energies. Don't trust him."
So I decide to find this Ice priestess person and get her side of the story. Now where would an Ice woman live?
Duh, the Ice cave I robbed a few hours back. I make my way there and lo and behold there she is. I talk to her and give her the benefit of the doubt.
She goes on about how this entire place is an affront to Auril and how the Kuldahar tree that Boxer Druid looks after is evil... This chick is NUTS! Start fight. HA! 6 against 1 even if you do use hold person I'll still win. Then the yetis spawn.
I IMMEDIATELY REGRET MY PREVIOUS STATEMENT!
about 3 reloads later I manage to kill them all off and kill the crazy priestess. I walk ALL the way back to the tomb and ALL the way back down. You'd really think there'd be a shortcut for this sorta thing. I talk to Mr. SpecKni and give him the good news. Eagerly expecting the next plot point I get told that he's not the real evil that's making Boxer Druids leaf underpants knot in the night.
YOU LYING, CHEATING, STEALING #@?&*$#_~(*^ !!! *Sigh* Papa Shroom was far smarter than I ever gave him credit for.
Go back to Kuldahar and give Boxer Druid the bad news. he tells me that there might be a MacGuffin that can save the trees. AND YOU DIDN'T TELL US THIS FIRST, WHY? He then explains that one of his impatient students took it and made a cult of of it. AND YOU DIDN'T GET OTHER ADVENTURERS TO SOLVE THIS EARLIER, WHY? I've played Call of Cthluhu! Cults, no matter what, are always bad news.
I am beginning to doubt Boxer Druid's competence. I go, I organize inventory, sell stuff. Drink and call it a night.
The party wakes up at an inn inside a giant tree with a massive hangover. As far as places these nutcases have woken up in this is so far the best. Through the bleary haze of headaches and light and sound sensitivity
We are approached by a Hill Giant. Who says that everyone has gone completely insane and started murdering each other before running away. Guess he failed his SAN check, poor guy. I get attacked by some of the hill giants upon entering the templ and Cleric gets his block knocked into next Tuesday.
Might call for a slight change in tactics. Assassin your time to shine. For the rest of the temple I have Assassin hind in shadows and backstab large evil things and kite them to the party for an ambush. Works really well to be honest. Way to go Assassin, way to put in work! Kill some more giants and cultists.
This place is really not that bad. I was expecting shoggoths, and what not but this seems to be just a bunch of crazy people.
Eventually we fight our way to just before the inner sanctum. ah HA here's where we fight Yog-shothoth. Prebuff and enter the room aaaaaaaaand. everyone's already dead. Jeez, there is nothing but blood, guts and ass everywhere.
Looks like I'm late to the party. Oh god, did they actually summon an elder god. OH GOD! DID THEY SUMMON SUPER SQUIRREL!!!
Loot the bodies and go! Loot the bodies and GO!
The party arrives in Kuldahar running and screaming all the way to boxer druid. The party tries to explain the coming squirrel threat but he seems more interested in a potion that stole from the summoning site. He tells me that its from an active volcano that's shaped like a dragon head.
Only in Faerun does this get a pass without raising some eyebrows...
He then tells me to go to said volcano and retrieve magical super maguffin.
The party sells stuff, and falls alseep to uneasy dreams about angry god squirrels.
Ok. The party wakes up. Thankfully a god squirrel hasn't eaten them in their sleep. We make the 3 day long trip to the Dragon's eye. I vaguely remember Boxer Druid saying something about reptiles so I assume its going to be Yuan-Ti since that's the only Lizard monster that I remember being rendered in the infinity games.
Lizard Men? Oh right you fight like 4 of them on Arcane Asylum in BG2. Well, They aren't particularly tough. So, the party goes on into the cave and explores. Fight Lizard men, and rest fight lizard men and rest. Stumble upon some more beetles. Long having learned my lesson that bugs that can survive in Northern Canad- I mean Ten Towns are not to be trifled with I try and bow and arrow them to death. I get most of theme except one who proceeds to EXPLODE on ClerMage. BEETLES CAN EXPLODE?! OH YE GODS WHY?!
Explore some more kill some spiders and find a broadsword on an elf.
An elf with a broadsword? It is truly the end of times. Ehh, I'll tell Boxer Druid later.
Jeez all these fights are freakin' tedious. How many enemies can they pack into one map?
Eventually I find some hostages and I tell them to get the hell outa Dodge and into Kuldahar. They ignore me and go on how they'll be eaten. Hello I killed like 80% of the Lizards in this place, it's a clear shot from here to the exit. Go! Shoo! Run! Oh fine, get eaten then.
While Assassin was scouting ahead I find a larger and yellower than average lizard man surrounded by a small army of other lizard dudes. Well then, this looks like its going to be a pain. I gather the party just outside of their aggro range and prebuff. And what happened next was probably the most awesome thing to happen to me in the Dales yet.
After having casted all my buffs I have Berserker go into a rage and just as combat starts, I swear on my life, the instrumental to Dropkick Murphy's "I'm Shipping Up to Boston" starts playing on my music player and my Berserker just starts WRECKING shit. Sure the mage and the bard and cleric helped a bit by casting buffs and debuffs and a Horror spell but I swear the entire army swarmed Berzerker and he didn't get hit more than twice as he mowed through them like a furious gardener with a military grade weed whacker. Assassin and Archer threw knives and shot arrows some, but the Berzerker channeling all the unwarranted whoop-ass from Dropkick Murphy's into his greatsword and proceeding wipe the floor with what was supposed to be a fairly difficult fight was just AWESOME!!!
Here are the faces of everyone involved after Berserker just earned a place in Valhalla.
Cleric: ಠoಠ
Archer: ಠoಠ
Assassin: ಠoಠ
Bard: ಥ_ಥ It's glorious. I shall sing of this forever.
Clermage: ಠoಠ
Player: ಥoಥ *raving like a lunatic*
everyone else was dead.
So this is why people play Icewind Dale.
I clear out the rest of the cave while riding a mild adrenaline buzz and don't find a way deeper so I tell the people they're free and head on back to Boxer Druid.
Once I return to Boxer Druid with the news that the MacGuffin wasn't in the cave he tells me to go to the Dragon's Eye and find it. I DID GO! it wasn't there. Unless... DID I MISS THE FREAKING ENTRANCE TO THE LOWER LEVELS!! That's a three day hike from here to there. I go ALL the way back to Dragon's Eye and, sure enough I found the entrance I missed. I go down it and have Assassin scout out a little bit.
Trolls ... ... ... Oh forget this crap, I hate trolls.
seriously though that fight was epic
The unlock is a little device called EEkeeper
2nd Level of Dragons eye is trolls
**** TROLLS that is all.
I find very little significant here except i intercept another cult from summoning Cthulhu and actually arrive in time to stop it. Huzzah! another hapless town saved from outer squirrels. The fight took a few tries and I had to get a feel for it before I actually one do to the sheer numbers of cultists and undead. I mean seriously. Is it really this necessary to include this many mobs. But I have the casters prebuff, and I send Assassin to backstab the lead cultist and go invisible again using a Potion of Invisibility. while the enemies are walking towards the main party. (Gotta love abusing kiting) I have the mage cast Grease and essentially make a kill zone for anyone who dares enter the grease spell with a LOT of arrows. Note to self Grease is awesome in IWD.
I happen to not kill the sacrifice in the cross fire of it all and she gives me heals in return. A Cleric in the middle of a dungeon. That's awfully convenient. I wonder if they'll be one in every dungeon.
3rd level of Dragons eye.
Undead. SO MUCH UNDEAD. Even better they explode. WHO ON EARTH MAKES EXPLODING UNDEAD! Weren't the magic ghouls bad enough! Ugh. I mostly use turn undead to keep the numbers off the party and kill them off one at a time. And is it just me or do the Ice Ghouls hit way more often than they should. I happen across a wizard surrounded by poison zombies...
OK. Necromancers. Stop this. Raising the undead to do your bidding is bad enough but do you really need to experiment.
The fight takes me a few tries until I realize.
Oh DUH!. I have a cleric, two of them in fact. I have the both of them turn undead at the same time. The result?
I have never seen so many exploding undead in my life.
I finish out the level while stepping on EVERY SINGLE trap to the exit and call it a day.
ALL OF THIS.
I can't wait to see your reaction to upper Dorn's Deep.
Also a bit of an update I'm going to try and start posting all this every other day but I'm very busy at this point in my life and I regularly have less than 2 hours of free time on any given week day
"what the hell is all this doing IN A VOLCANO?!"
We are approached by a guy in robes telling us about something or other, I really wasn't paying attention because someone went through all the effort to make a stone work level in AN ACTIVE VOLCANO. But apparently I said something to piss him off. Being a wizard surrounded by a party of six he gets his Armor spell off before we bash him into a red paste. Then suddenly A bunch of quasi invisible things bursts through the door. I'm pretty sure that one of them shouts something about the Spanish Inquisition but I was to busy noticing that they poison people. That's a great way to turn any serviceable fun to fight enemy into a MASSIVE pain, give them poison. Thanks to these chuckle heads I burnt through all but 1 of my antidotes
Wander around some more and I find ANOTHER wizard conducting a summoning ritual. That makes, what, 3 now. Why are these people so danged determined to summon elder gods. Don't they know that elder gods are bad for your health? And everyone else's health for that matter. I slaughter them to save the sanity of every person in the world, YET AGAIN. As far a cults go they aren't very competent. Oh sweet a summoning staff, and its green, my favorite color.
Wander some more and come across a locked door that Assassin can't get through. Fantastic. He's great for stabbing but that's about it.
Wander into a bunch of Yuan-Ti (there they are) at a table with a bunch of dead bodies on it: Highly disturbing. The one at the head chair asks the party to join in the meal of freshly killed Kuldaharian.
"Sure that sounds great! But they look a little undercooked let me help you with th-FIREBALL!" And throw in a holy smite for good measure. Fight wasn't that difficult afterwards because I lead the survivors down a bottle neck. HA HA! I can use smart tactics too. I'm learnding.
Clear out the rest of the map and I teach my bard Knock and have a looksee in the two rooms that my assassin couldn't break into. Some rouge he is.
Whats behind Door number 1!
A bunch of magic items I really don't have a use for... Eh, gold in the bank.
Whats behind Door number 2!
A bunch of screaming adventurers that are about to rip my face off. OH CRAP! After hastily explaining that I'm not here to kill them I tell them to go back home where its warm but not likely to explode because it seems everyone has forgotten WE ARE IN AN ACTIVE VOLCANO! I briefly, no that's a lie. I have a long internal struggle to decide whether to actually kill them or not for their stuff. In the end morality won out an I let them live.
30 dollars say I regret this decision.
I go down to level 4 and a little girl gives me the textbook example of a cryptic prophecy of doom.
I tell the "Cryptic harbinger of doom" to shove off. To be honest the game itself isn't that complex but some of this writing is just freaking hilarious. I wish my GM would allow me to pull stuff like that.
Considering that a creepy little girl told me that there was going to be some Lovecraftian things to come I call it a night.
Continuing down the long and hellish path known as Dragon's Eye our brave and noble adventures come across the enigmatic girl for the second time. She tells us to turn back or truly horrid things will await us
"WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU!!!"
The map is a pretty evident straight path but with a lot of branching paths. In fact its so generic that not much worth mentioning happens. I fight a large group of monsters, I loot, I rest, I repeat. I have however decided to forget the whole No reloads unless I lose a fight rule, if this game's going to cheese the hell out of me I'm going to cheese it too.
I do however get unique items from each of the rooms and they say that IWD has random loot. I disagree, I think it looks at the party's proficiencies and actively gives loot that they CANNOT use.
2 interesting things did happen however. When saving random civilians (a few of whom admittingly got torched) I found a strange mage who introduced himself as Alveus Malcanter, the most successful 1st level mage in the world and he gave me some tips on how to survive in the Dale.
The second and more infuriating thing that happened was during the final fight of the room. I had Assassin scout out the area a bit and I knew that this was the end dungeon boss. I decided to follow Malcanter's advice and use doors to my advantage. Why is it that only adventurers can open doors? But anyways I pre buff the party and summon some mobs as cannon fodder and to activate aggro. It works and the Yuan-Ti mages spawn without a hitch. Ah HA! now to put the plan into action. I shall close the door, wait and let the enemies bunch up around it and attack with many painful fireballs and divine smitings. IT IS THE PERFECT PLAN! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I summon some more cannon fodder to provide a living wall and prepare to open the door.
LOCKED.
Huh? Ohhhkaaay... Assassin handle this... "the mechanism that operates this does not have a conventional lock and may be warded against simple spells"
Dang! Clever developers thought ahead. Well, let's check my saves. And I cleared them all out except for the one AFTER i already closed the door.
... ... ... ...
Oh *#$^)&@)(^ #$()@(^@ with a #(_$& and then I'll )_&_@# *)_& up it's stupid @)*($_@@ !*$_&# $)@*)&$ and then )($*&^)# !_*()$_&)(# ()_$&#_! *@)$&@ AND TEAR THOSE REPTILIAN $#_@*^_@ !)(*()** @)!~)~ ~((#@ AND FINISH IT OFF BY RUBBING LEMONS IN ITS WOUNDS!!!!
*sigh*
So I'm going to have to find the time to work the debug mode of IWD and teleport my party into the right room because I'm a total idiot.
I should also probably put that story under Bugs and such but I'm really not in the mood right now...
*EDIT*
The little girl was right. Horrid things did happen. Stupid little cryptic harbingers of doom
... That's a lot of dudes. Only one solution, a healthy mix dose of fireball, smite, and tactically applied haste improved sword to the face. The fight wasn't all that difficult, except for a six-armed, snake woman. She had an annoying habit of ignoring any weapon that wasn't a +2 I only had 1 of those, for CLERMAGE. Thank the devs for Doom because that saved my party from a humiliating defeat. I explore some more and loot some chests. The pint sized doom spouting harbinger of evil is nowhere to be found. Eh no big loss.
I then go back into the code and remove debug mode. I really don't like playing with it because it tempts me and I want my first play through to be legit.
Walk back to Kuldahar. OH GOD! EVERYTHING IS ON FIRE! Orogs are attacking the people are... actually fighting back, with their bare hands. Jeez. Ok a town filled with this many badass as random citizens is worth protecting. I run all over super tree land and lend my sword to the villagers and drive out the orog invaders. I hear from one of them that the big cheese is in Boxer Druids house.
I rush to Boxer Druids house and find him standing there thanking me for killing Yxunomei, whoever that is, and allowing him to do as he pleases with the Dale.
Boxer Druid what is this! I trusted you, and you just used me. I really hope this game isn't that cliche. I then walk upstairs and discover another Boxer Druid.
He explains to me that a shape changer invaded this town and fought him and that the only reason he is still alive is he believed I would return. He tells me of an elven mage in a prison that can use the heartstone gem. He then uses the last of his energy to show me the way to said prison.
I stood there alone in the silence for a short while. Just stewing on what had just happened.
"I'll do it. I'll save Kuldahar, for you, Boxer Bro."
I solemnly get the parties affairs and equipment in order and take the long journey to the elven prison called the Severed Hand.
Just outside of the Severed Hand I find a squirrel. I have Berzerker carefully and delicately raise his crossbow and shoot it.
It doesn't affect the squirrel at all.
OH GODS! IT'S SUPER SQUIRREL! HE'S COME BACK FOR REVENGE!!! ALL OF DALE IS DOOMED I SAY! DOOMED!
Then a shade skeleton comes out of the wet works and starts admonishing my dwarf for ever coming here. I'm doomed a shade lich and a super squirrel against my party in a fight to the death. This game does not mess around. Then the shade lich promptly fireballs the super squirrel and kills it.
...
COME BACK EVIL SHADE LICH! I MUST LEARN THAT SQUIRREL CONQUERING SPELL FROM YOU!!!
I rush into the Severed Hand. After the almighty squirrel smiting lich and call it a night.
Since the first 3 levels of The Hand is only combat encounters and I just abused level jumping whenever I could I'll just go over the highlights
1st floor: Undead goblins? Who goes out of their way to raise goblins from the dead!? They're goblins! Wait 2 days and they'll be back to their original numbers the cheap way! Same thing with orcs but raising makes slightly more sense. This place gives off some major bad mojo. I bet its another Undead themed dungeon. Whee! As if every other dungeon until now hasn't had an undead theme. At least its pretty loot heavy. And could it be! No, I had given up hope for one of these a long time ago. Hark! But it is! A magic 2 handed sword. I thought I'd never get one of these. Finally Berzerker, my main damage dealer, can FINALLY start dealing actual damage.
2nd Floor: skeletons that are on fire. I give up, whats next? Weights that are on fire that explode into electric skeletons that throw their ribs at you! Oh and some of them have been super sized and got sharpened claws.
3rd Floor: See above but with more anger.
4th floor: Another Spectral Knight!. Ambush! No, wait, wait, he's must mumbling about honor and duty and the like. Uh, hello Sir Evil Death Knight, perhaps you won't horribly slaughter me and my friends and feed upon our corpses. Wait, your name is Lethias, and the the horrific slaughter of our party is not one of you're main missions. OK then. Well we're looking for a guy named Larrel, you seen him? Evil Shadow Knight tells me that Larrel's on the top floor.
Wander around some more and We stumble upon a Elf shade who's managing a shop... Why are you-? Do you even realize that you're-? WHO EVEN COMES UP HERE-? Ugh!
You know what, let him have it. I look through his stock and don't ask any questions. I organize and sell stuff and leave him be. I look around the rest of the level and find a barkeep that doubles as a bard. After getting some lore about how the elves and dwarves once worked in an alliance together. Lets find out how long that lasted. I ask him for some ale. He hands me a ghostly mug filled with frothy sweet ale. And my hand goes right through it. WHAT CAN I USE ETHEREAL ALE FOR!?! The berzerker grumps about lack of proper alcohol and we call it a night.
I explore the rest of the floor and find a little ghost girl named Sehriya. She doesn't seem to realize what happened and asks us to find her mom on the lower floors. Ow, my heart. I don't have it in me to tell her that I probably slaughtered the insane remains of her mother and that she died dozens of years ago. I then give her a hallow promise of telling her mother to come back so they could play again. Wow, We started off on a downer.
Well, there are 5 stair cases that lead to 5 towers. OH! I get it now, The Severed Hand. It looks like a hand in the distance I get it now. Jeez, I am cripplingly slow. I decide tackle each tower counter clockwise starting with the western most one.
I go up the first set of stairs and... Right into a scene right out of Bastion. Floating chunks of land everywhere, apocalyptic scenery the only thing that's missing is a kid with a warhammer. I see the evil shade lich rambling. "Mr. Shade Lich (Henceforth called Slim Shade-Li) TEACH ME YOU'RE SQUIRREL CONQUERING SPELLS!!!" and he's gone. Damn mages and their dang teleport abuse. Magic is so OP. NERF MAGIC PLOX!! Seeing no way of progress here I decide to move on.
(This myconid is well aware he is going straight to the deepest pit hell has to offer for "Slim Shade-Li)
2nd tower I meet a shade elf Cleric by the name of Denaini. She tells me to go murder her former friends. Well then, this woman certainly doesn't mess around. Hell truly hath no wrath like angry elf women. I go upstairs and find acolytes and clerics of the evil shade variety. Oh gods, not another doomsday cult, O.K. the elf girls scorn is now more warranted. I go up the tower and recklessly slaughter all in my way. No brilliant tactics or interesting fights here. But, I am starting to get them phat lootz, so all's well. I also find a barrel of holy water.
I go back to Denaini and tell her how I mercilessly introduced my greatsword to their faces. She seems pleased and gave me some magical stuff. She also asked me for some holy water and I'm certainly not going to need the barrel of the stuff. And JEEZ, talk about a total turnaround before the holy water this place looked like a dump but seconds after I gave the stuff to the cleric it looks like a place I would like to relax in while listening to Najubes or something. Sans all the death and ghosts and stuff, Maybe add a few more candles and a fireplace. Yeah I could get this place looking nice. Move over Oxiclean, Holy Water is the new miracle cleaning solution.
(This myconid is well aware he is going to an even deeper level of hell for that pun)
3rd tower. I go up and find another elven woman who asks me to kill her former friends and associates. Note to self: NEVER piss off ANY elf of the female gender. Current statics say that they'll order a death squad on your for even the smallest slight. I wander up with more senseless violence because a woman told me to. Is it just me or is this play session awfully misogynistic? I get to the top floor and get ambushed by about a dozen spiders the size of a horse
... #*@! THAT!
I run right back down the stairs and across the bridge. I go up the stairs and find myself in a library of all things. I talk to the shade book keeper, maybe he's aware enough to realize EVERYONE IS DEAD. I asks him what the point of having an open library in a place that's been a haunted hellhole for centuries is and he promptly chews me out. Well, I never. Decide to leave this jerk to his books and go upstairs. Only to find Slim Shade-Li. I probably shouldn't be here, kthanksbye!
I go back to the elven archer who asked me to kill her friends and tell her that the job is done. She then spouts something about honor and tries to kill me. I'm sorry but what a bitch. Asks me to kill her friends and then tries to kill me so there's no witnesses. I'm glad I put that psycho down.
I wonder which one of these towers is the middle finger. So I can collapse the rest and make it look like there's a giant hand flipping everyone off in the distance.
4th tower. Filled with hundreds of warrior shades. Not much interesting happens except I discovered a new tactic called Bait 'n' nuke. I made this up in a blind panic after accidentally drawing the ENTIRE elven army stationed here on the second floor. It's pretty simple. Have multiple casters memorize fireball for skulltrap, have you're hapless bait, most likely the rouge, draw enemy aggro. Run the party down a flight of stairs. Have the party clerics cast as many defensive spells as possible before said army arrives. When it does have the casters cast said explosives in the middle of the now incredibly densely packed enemy army and watch the bits fly. Nothing else happened except probably illegal looting. And a crazy person at the top is asking me for seeds. What a creep.
5th tower is collapsed.
I go back to Slim Shade-Li and try to talk to him to get the squirrel ending spell off of him. He repeats some crazy poem about the astrolabe. Well crap, we come all this way to learn the art of squirrel killing and MacGuffin working and he's broken. YOU THERE! APPRENTICE EXPLAIN THIS! The apprentice doesn't care and is just obsessing over the astrolabe and insults me for my ignorance about mechanics. Well then, I might just keep these random gears and parts that I've been finding all over the place I'm sure they're worth something. He then takes all the mechanical stuff from me and throws it into the astrolabe which then magically starts working.
Slim Shade-Li approaches us and thanks us for restoring his memories.
........................ one MAJOR plot dump later .................................
Well, Shade-Li you are an arrogant idiot, and a racist ass. May the gods have mercy on your soul and maybe you'll be freed of your curse. SEND ME TO DORN'S DEEP!!!!
I look at the intimidating cave in front of me and can only think of one thing.
"There better not be any undead in this dungeon."
CRAP! I forgot to get the squirrel killing spell off of Slim Shade-Li. Oh well, ONCE MORE UNTO THE BREACH DEAR FRIENDS!
The party stares deep into the gaping maw of the cave that will lead to the deepest darkest hole where the dwarves of these icy wastes inevitably dug to deep into with only the most deepest contemplative thoughts running through my mind.
"I bet the squirrels have destroyed Easthaven by now."
The first thing I see upon entering the cave is a bundle of large blue mushrooms. No. No, it can't be not here. I send Assassin forward a little. I see them, the Myconids of the Bluegill clan. Vile, vicious evil creatures from the most horrid parts of the Underdark and sworn enemies of my own Orange Cap clan. There's only one way this meeting of long feuding clans could ever end.
I walk past them without so much as a "How do you do?" and continue on my way. Thus conserving generations of mutual hatred and disdain. I fight a few ettins and stumble upon a cave. A cave inside of a cave, CAVECEPTION!!! One failed ambush later and few dead ettins and my only reward is a bottle? Nehh, whatever.
I continue on to the barracks and not much of significance happens here. I mainly abuse kiting and Cloudkill and Skull traps.
If nothing else this game has taught me how to play Infinity game better.
I find a secret room behind a dwarven war room. As I have Assassin scout out the area he gets bombarded by a bunch of electrical charges and gets killed. Either the Dwarves have trapped this room or the electrician simply stopped giving 2 halves of a quarter of a crap about safety. Either way I don't think I'm supposed to be here right now. RELOAD!
I go back into a cave system, that's what 2 caves inside of another cave, 3? How many layers does it go? Inside I find a sentient talking Umber Hulk. Okay, that's new. He tells me that he is cursed to look like this and that he's responsible for the Orogs. Well you're a bit of a jerk, do you even realize how many settlements got torched by those things? Anyways I need to get a talisman off of the leader. If you mean the giant ones with bull horns glued to their faces I killed like seven of them already. I have Assassin run around stealthed and manage to steal an axe and a journal from some ettins. I wander around some more and stumble upon what I assume to be the Orog chieftain. I get the clever idea to try and backstab him.
Needless to say this did not go as well as planned.
Assassin came running to the party screaming at the top of his lungs with several swords stuck into various organs with large posse of Orogs in tow. One tactically applied fireball later we have a small amulet that does something. I'm not sure what but I am sure its a plot coupon of some sort. I go talk the the Umber Hulk and he thanks me and goes lurking off to parts unknown.
I stumble around and try and figure out what to do in the secret room. It takes me a good 15 minutes and several reloads to realize that there are designs on the table match some of the tiles inside the giant circle of electrical death. Well played game, well played. I successfully navigate the puzzle, pull the most obvious secret lever in existence and open the way to the next level.
I then promptly walk out of dwarven city out of the cave and make the 5 day hike to Kuldahar. Why? My inventory was full and I needed to restock anyways. Archer ran out of arrows.