Halizurex, the Pacifist Mass Murderer
OlvynChuru
Member Posts: 3,075
I'm playing Baldur's Gate as a jester. The goal is to kill as many innocent people as possible without losing reputation.
I've already played this character somewhat. In Candlekeep, I led Shank out of the house, fake-talked the Watchers so they wouldn't attack him, and then used the bard song to confuse Shank. He would attack people, and when those people died, I wouldn't lose any reputation. So I killed-er, led to the deaths of several tutors, several cows (Nessa was spared), and Imoen. When she died, she didn't drop anything. I then talked to Gorion, who didn't really care about what I just did and happily led me out of the keep. After he died, Imoen wasn't there.
So I walked along, fed Xzar and Montaron to a wolf, and headed to Beregost. My army was awaiting me in the southernmost house. I gave Firebead his precious History of the Fateful Coin, and then promptly fed the delicious elf to my four pet spiders. I then went to Feldepost's Inn, tricked Marl into thinking that adventurers aren't all that bad, and then showed him that he was a fool to trust me. After that, I went upstairs and had one of the spiders, in the usual jester-induced trance, fetch me Algernon's Cloak. Of course, Algernon didn't survive the process. My next stop was the Jovial Juggler, where the spiders killed all the commoners (they didn't try to run at all; I guess they were way too deep in their cups) while the "paladin" Bjornin just stood around.
That's where I stopped for now. What do you guys think of this playthrough?
I've already played this character somewhat. In Candlekeep, I led Shank out of the house, fake-talked the Watchers so they wouldn't attack him, and then used the bard song to confuse Shank. He would attack people, and when those people died, I wouldn't lose any reputation. So I killed-er, led to the deaths of several tutors, several cows (Nessa was spared), and Imoen. When she died, she didn't drop anything. I then talked to Gorion, who didn't really care about what I just did and happily led me out of the keep. After he died, Imoen wasn't there.
So I walked along, fed Xzar and Montaron to a wolf, and headed to Beregost. My army was awaiting me in the southernmost house. I gave Firebead his precious History of the Fateful Coin, and then promptly fed the delicious elf to my four pet spiders. I then went to Feldepost's Inn, tricked Marl into thinking that adventurers aren't all that bad, and then showed him that he was a fool to trust me. After that, I went upstairs and had one of the spiders, in the usual jester-induced trance, fetch me Algernon's Cloak. Of course, Algernon didn't survive the process. My next stop was the Jovial Juggler, where the spiders killed all the commoners (they didn't try to run at all; I guess they were way too deep in their cups) while the "paladin" Bjornin just stood around.
That's where I stopped for now. What do you guys think of this playthrough?
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After finishing my rampage through the main part of Beregost, I traveled to the temple. I found some black bears south of the temple who were happy to help me in my fight against Kelddath Ormlyr (I think he was called that but I don't remember). The bears did a good job clawing up that priest. When Kelddath was attacked, he fought back of course, but his siren bodyguards just stood by and watched the spectacle, eerily content. Sometimes the bears would wrest themselves free of the jester trance and attack me. When my injuries became unbearable, I talked to Kelddath and he happily healed me, even though he was more in need of healing than I. I decided to land the finishing blow on him, instantly gaining 5000 experience (with no reputation loss). However, at this moment, the sirens FINALLY decided to fight me, so I had to escape.
Next, I will head towards Nashkel.
I have a feeling Nashkel will never be the same.
The journey to Nashkel was relatively uneventful. A pair of ogrillions busted a kid's skull, but otherwise it was kind of boring. I encountered a Flaming Fist patrol and gave them a fight. Of course, what I really wanted was to make those Flaming Fists give each other a fight, but it got really tedious trying to get them to attack each other, so I just made a run for it. In the next area, I asked Portalbendarwinden for some of his wisdom. After obtaining no straight answer, I had a nearby hobgoblin insert a sharp hand-and-a-half sword into Portalbendarwinden's unspeakable body parts.
Rather than go to the town of Nashkel immediately, I went to see that fabulous carnival I had kept hearing about. I also discovered a new trick to provoke combat. There were many cats and chickens at the fair, and whenever I encountered one I beat it senseless. When the animals woke up, they were hostile to me. I then sang the jester song while cats and chickens fought each other mercilessly.
While I was at the carnival, I stole the Stone to Flesh scroll from Zeke, punched him in the face just to spite him, and cured Branwen's petrification. Branwen was happy to join me as she had no idea of the atrocities I had already had a hand in committing. She is apparently reluctant to fight those who can't defend themselves. Of course, she won't be the one fighting them...
There was one last thing I did at the carnival. When I went into one of the tents, Vitiare tried to steal from me, but Branwen saw through his plans and cast Rigid Thinking on him. Branwen left the tent; I cast Invisibility and watched Vitiare's bewildered antics with amusement. Several gamesman died that day. Serves them right, tricking people into wasting their money...
Next stop is the town of Nashkel!
By the way, this playthrough is more fun to talk about than to actually do. I mean, it's fun to do all these silly things, but the problem is that NPCs who are confused tend not to do what you want them to do. The majority of the time, they just stand around rather than attack people. Also, eventually I'll run out of heavily populated areas. Sure, there's Baldur's Gate, but it will take a while to get there, especially since I don't have a thief to disarm Daveaorn's battle horror trap. We'll see.
One of the best RP-ing of Jester there can be! Thumbs up for the idea. Poor, poor Baldur's Gate city ...
I started on the right side of the map, since I came from the carnival. The first thing I came across were two young boys standing next to the wall of the barracks. I knocked them both out with a few punches, and when they woke up, I tried to get them to fight each other. For some reason, they actually never attacked each other, so I moved on. Eventually I came across the temple of Helm. The priest, Nalin, told me about Brage's situation, but I didn't really care, and I didn't plan on him ever speaking again. I thumped the priest on the head and Branwen cast Silence on him. After Branwen hid herself within a Sanctuary, Nalin decided to head for me and bash my skull in! I exited the temple, screaming to any guard that could hear, "Help! Nalin has gone mad! Please defend me from him!" The guards might have thought that whatever malicious force had possessed Brage had now come for the old priest, and, considering that they hadn't seen my encounter with the two kids, they may have thought that I was simply an innocent bystander. Since Nalin was mute, he couldn't utter a single word in his defense, and thus he was quickly shot down.
(one note: I know that the "malicious force" that possessed Brage was actually the cursed berserk sword, but I doubt the Amnian Soldiers know that)
Soon, I had the urge to snoop around the graveyard in front of the temple. On one occasion, I found a mage, Mark Daer'Ragh, feigning death. The annoyed mage quickly summoned a crew of Phoenix Guards. Branwen cast Protection from Fire and Resist Fire/Cold on me, and I had fun leading the fiery warriors near innocent people and detonating them. By the time all the Phoenix Guards had been destroyed, most of the town's outside population had been reduced to cinders. There were still some stragglers left: Rasaad, Minsc, Edwin, Noober, a few soldiers, and a few commoners.
Next on the list was Rasaad. He was willing to defend himself if necessary, but he was definitely unwilling to fight any innocent commoners. Let's see how long that lasts.
Branwen cast Rigid Thinking on him. Rasaad started to see despicable evil creatures all around him, which he lashed out against with deadly punches and kicks. When he finally regained his bearings, he found himself near some trees on the outside of the town. He then saw the bodies of dead commoners, some which he had spoken to only a few minutes ago...
I walked up to Rasaad, and hit him. Really hard. He then realized that I was the one who was ultimately responsible for the killing of these innocents, so he sprung to the attack. Rasaad pursued me all the way back into town... and ran into Amnian soldiers who had seen him deal lethal blows to commoners. Needless to say, he didn't live for much longer.
Next was Minsc. He requested that I help him find some person, uh... named Dynaheir or something. Who cares? I have better things to do! Of course, that was a terrible answer to throw at Minsc, who immediately came at me with his (semi-)righteous berserker rage. Once again, the Amnian soldiers saw me being pursued relentlessly by some lunatic warrior and happily defended me. I even decided to turn invisible just to watch Minsc's moral crisis, being forced to defend himself from innocent guards. He decides to kill the guards. I came out of hiding, dealt Minsc a surprise blow to the chest, and ran towards the northwest part of the town. There, I sang the jester song once again, causing him to slaughter whatever commoners were still alive. Branwen then cast Hold Person on Minsc. He became unable to defend himself from our punches. After the mighty ranger got KO'd by the barefisted harlequin and priestess, I finished him off with a whack from my trusty quarterstaff (killing him doesn't lower reputation).
All that is left are Edwin and Noober. First I decided to punch Noober. He ran away, then I invoked the power of Algernon's Cloak to brainwash Edwin. Edwin, Branwen and I chased that annoying guy until we cornered him. We all punched Noober until he was knocked unconscious, then Branwen cast Rigid Thinking on Edwin. We left the arrogent mage to finish Noober off.
A minute or two later, we came back to find Edwin standing some distance away from Noober's bloody corpse. Edwin's reward for doing the deed was four Magic Missiles and a Spiritual Hammer.
So yeah. That was fun.
If you attack someone in Nashkel while there are Amnian Soldiers near you, the soldiers will become hostile and attack YOU. However, if you attack someone when there are no soldiers around, and then you flee to a place where there are soldiers, they will NOT be hostile, and they will attack the person who you attacked.
Also, I think that this jester is just the kind of person that Bhaal would create!
And kudos, you've got me rolling a jester for my main campaign now...
First, I went south of the mine and found Prism doing the finishing touches on his masterpiece. When the bounty hunter Greywolf arrived, I managed to provoke him so successfully that he completely forgot about Prism and came for me.
(note: My first idea was to charm Prism and have him fight Greywolf and die. However, when he died, Greywolf went away. That makes sense, but I never knew about that before because Greywolf doesn't usually attack Prism.)
I decided to lead the foolish bounty hunter to the mine. Once he was in the range of all the mine guards, I turned invisible and watched the slaughter. Greywolf, disoriented by the disappearance of his target, was only able to take down one guard before he was slain. I then went back to Prism. He claimed that he had finished his masterpiece, and moments later he died from exhaustion. I then found the emeralds he stole on his corpse... Wait, wasn't he going to use those emeralds for his sculpture? I guess he wasn't actually finished...
Okay, back to the mine. There were two guards left. When I talked to Emerson, the master of the mine, he rudely told me to back off (I think this only happens when you talk to him after one of the mine guards dies). I decided to charm Emerson and had him meet with the two remaining guards. Branwen then cast Rigid Thinking on him. Eventually, the guards cut down their own master. I was still far from done in this area, though. A cat and several rats were on patrol, and I knew that they all had to die. I repeatedly pick pocketed their hairs until they caught me in the act and turned hostile, at which point the guards shot them. Next were the miners. I took care of them the same way I did Emerson. Now the only people left in the mine area were the two remaining soldiers. I charmed one of them and made him fight the other guy. I made sure that the one I brainwashed lost the duel. As a reward for winning, the other guard was promptly knocked unconscious by me and Branwen. After a few minutes of pondering exactly how I could kill this last soldier, I finally remembered that nearby shack that housed the war dogs. I led the angry canines to the unconscious soldier and had one of them bite his head off. That last guard was one of the luckiest of my victims: at least he died in his sleep.
Now I had to flee into the mine, on the run from the dog warriors. I found a soldier in the mine and screamed at him: "HELLLP! It's the dogs! They've gone berserk and they've killed all the poor people outside!" That soldier happily killed the dogs that the mine staff had been raising.
Next time I'll talk about what the mine was like, though I'm not sure how much there was to say about it. It's too bad I'm going for no rep loss, because I'd love to stab Kylee in the heart with his own dagger.
The mines were boring, mostly just mindless kobold squashing... until I got to their leader, of course. When I encountered Mulahey, I made it clear that I wasn't his master, and then I charmed him and made him grovel before me anyway. I decided I wasn't going to kill the poor evil half-orc priest, so of course I made him unequip his weapon and go fight his own minions. The skeletons quickly broke his skull. That's what you get for not wearing a helmet, fool. The letters he carried only verified the information he gave me when he was under my control.
After exiting the mines, I came across four heavily-armed women. One of them started to talk to me, but her voice annoyed me, so I had Branwen silence her and her whole party. The assassins just stood there without attacking me, so I had no more of a problem charming one of them than Branwen had confusing another one. All four of them perished in the madness that ensued.
I returned to Nashkel to collect my reward from Berrun Ghastkill only to find another assassin. I charmed this Nimbul, had him tell me all his plans, then killed him.
Next on my to-do list was to go find Tranzig. Just as Mulahey's letter stated, he was lodged in Feldepost's. I provoked him and gestured for him to come fight me downstairs. Tranzig eventually decided to cast some Lightning Bolts in this heavily crowded hall. I managed to survive, but unfortunately Marl, Dunkin and many other commoners couldn't afford any Boots of Grounding. I then killed the murderous mage and found another letter on his corpse.
Next stop is the bandit camp!
I entered the inn. Khalid and Jaheira weren't there. I guess they must have heard of my actions (even though I didn't lose any reputation) and decided that I wasn't worth helping out. I had actually ditched Neera when she was in Beregost. She offered to join the party again, but I said no. In addition to saying no, I knocked her unconscious, and the cat finished her off. I also encountered Dorn in a drunken stupor. He threatened to crush my neck with his bare hands. Hey, I have an idea! How about I crush Dorn's neck with my bare hands? Me and Branwen did so. Dorn passed out... and then passed away after the cat got him.
Now for the main piece of business in this area. The Friendly Arm Inn was ran by two gnomes. I wanted them both to die so that the inn could be plunged into anarchy. After all, why not? So first, Branwen punched Gallana Mirrorshade and cast Silence on her. Then, Branwen lured her all the way to Bentley and cast Rigid Thinking on her. This didn't bring about a swift conclusion, though. Gallana broke free of the silence and the confusion before she was able to finish her job. She then started casting nasty spells like Glyph of Warding (which she accidentally murdered several commoners with) and Animate Dead. This was where things started getting tricky. Those skeletons were VERY tough. It took me a while to figure out a solution, but I eventually found one: I turned invisible and sung the jester song (yes, you can indeed turn invisible and sing a bard song and the enemies don't detect you). After a while. Gallana decided to attack the skeletons, and that didn't work out too well. Then I charmed Bentley, causing the skeletons to kill him as well. I concluded my visit to the inn by resting in the courtyard, casting Rigid Thinking on a few guards, and fleeing towards Peldvale.
The first thing I encountered in Peldvale was a drow who was on the run from the Flaming Fist. I helped Viconia kill the officer, and then I helped the dead officer kill Viconia.
When I got closer to the bandit camp, I encountered a bandit patrol that was poised to kill me. However, I was able to prevent a fight by joining the group for now. When I arrived at the camp, the leader of the bandits questioned me and I told that half-ogre that I could bruise him good. He didn't believe me, so I resorted to charming him (charming Tazok took a LOT of reloads, and I don't think he has a unique speech if you talk to him while he's charmed). I then had a great idea: why not have the leaders of the bandit groups get together and duke it out? Okay, so I rested for eight hours (charm from Algernon's Cloak lasts twelve hours) so that I could also charm Taugosz Khosann. I made the leader of the Blacktalons fight the leader of the Chill. Needless to say, Ardenor got Crushed. I then made Taugosz fight against Tazok. Of course, Tazok won. However, by this point, the whole bandit camp had turned hostile, but I still had my trusty half-ogre slave to help out. Oh, and another thing. Tazok can't actually die at this part of the game. He's supposed to go away once he's low on health, but I canceled his fleeing action, so he's completely invincible. I fought my way through the camp until I got to Tazok's tent. I told Raemon that I had Tazok's authorization to check the place out. Of course, he did not believe me, so he followed me out of the tent only to find himself face to face with his angry master. We fought most of the battle outside the tent. Once it had been cleared out, I opened the big chest without disarming the trap so that Ender Sai would get severely electrocuted. And so ends Chapter 3!
"Mulahey and Tazok have proven to be nothing more than puppets."
Very true, that.
The first thing I came across was a guy named Aldeth Sashenstar. He told me about the druid nuisance, and I agreed to help out. When Seniyad came, I allied with Aldeth and killed Seniyad. As for the other druids, I had them attack Aldeth and his buddies. Once the druids died, I finished Aldeth off. Next thing: there were many squirrels in the area; I charmed them all with Seniyad's ring and sent them all at Coran. He just couldn't take it and was knocked unconscious (I did need to cast Hold Person on him but it was funny anyway). Then I killed Coran and all the squirrels.
Next Cloakwood area! I didn't have a way to disarm the spider webs, so I decided to turn invisible and set them all off without being eaten by spiders. In the southern part of the area, I found another zombie ring, identical to the one I found in the bandit camp. I fought my way through the level to find the spider lair. I charmed the ugly thing that was their leader, and she was quickly devoured by her own minions. I ran back outside, and the spiders followed me, but me and Branwen turned invisible, and then I sang the jester song. The spider army soon collapsed upon itself. Their lair had some nice loot, including a dead guy who was too heavy for me to carry. Maybe I'll come back later.
Next area. The first thing I found was a bard, who I charmed. We traveled around the area, and Eldoth shot any squirrels we came across. We also encountered some Shadow Druids; I tricked them into thinking that our main goal is to hunt some bandits, and they let us through, clearly not caring about the squirrelicide we have commited. In the western part of the area, we found another Shadow Druid who actually wanted to join our party. I used the Wand of Frost on her, murdering her literally in cold blood. In a cave to the north, I found a "simple woodsman" who wanted to placate his pet wyverns with my meat. I then placated those wyverns with Eldoth's meat as well as their master's meat, then I killed the wyverns.
Final cloakwood area was boring.
Okay, time for the mines. Initially I found some horses, which I charmed. However, they couldn't move out of the stables for some reason. I then found another group of assassins! I ran away; they followed and slaughtered the horses. I charmed their leader, Drasus, and he was able to take on the rest of his team by himself. We then killed Drasus.
Once I entered the mine, I led the first guard I saw to a slave, had Branwen cast Rigid Thinking on the guard, and watched him waste valuable servants.
On the next floor, there was a room full of guards. Once again, I turned invisible, stood in the middle of that room, and sang madly. It sure worked. (Many years ago, I thought that part was one of the hardest parts of the game. Things sure have changed.) I did NOT talk to the leader of the slaves...
Eventually, I got to the final floor. I charmed Daveaorn and watched him get cut down by his own battle horrors. I then finished off the battle horrors with my frost wand. After looting that floor, I went back up and talked to the slave next to the plug. I had the key, and I lied to him that I had already freed the other slaves. He opened the plug, we escaped, and a lot of slaves died. Back outside, a slave was waiting for me just to tell me how much he hates my dastardly actions. If he successfully talks to you, you lose 2 reputation. I had Branwen cast Silence on him and we fled.
Next stop is Baldur's Gate! Almost there!
SAY IT IN YOUR MONSTER TRUCK VOICE! OOOHH YEAH!