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A question on Origins... Namely mine...

AnduinAnduin Member Posts: 5,745
edited January 2015 in Off-Topic
Aaaack! I have a problem with my character... Conflicting origin theories...

This could effect how I continue to play.

That I'm a gnome, is gno problem. But am I a mummie? Am I 2000 or 6000 years old...

I wish the forum to decide... I will re-write my histories so that they may intertwine... Nothing will die will it Niudan?

No my mirror image... @Shandyr created me for this very purpose...

So read this... If you dare... The origins of Anduin... Then choose. Choose wisely. My past and my future depend on it...

Origin theory 1

Back in the day when you could get half a roast pig with a free tankard of ale at your local Weatherproof Inn, all for a copper piece... I was part of the adventuring troop, 'The Dark Four'.

Ahhh... I remember it like it was yesterday... We were young and rebelling against authority. We stayed in bed all day, and stayed up all night. We all wore hoods. At the time I thought we did it because it made us mysterious and edgy... But really it was because we all had bad acne due to poor hygiene. The truths a git... Anyway... Our group included Bane, Bhaal, Myrkul and me, Anduin.

Bane was our muscle. He was a bit dopey, to tell you the truth. No brain Bane we called him. Don't get me wrong, he was good in a fight, but his one brain cell was faulty. Once I got him to carry all my equipment by saying I was responsible for carrying the groups air supply, and that my bag had to be fully loaded with air! Also, Bhaal liked to trick him into eating different meat. 'Bane' Bhaal would witter 'Bane, did you know that Gnoll is a delicacy in far off Kara-Tur?' Then off Bane would go eating Gnoll until he was sick. Them were the days!

Bhaal was our lock pick. His real name was Karl, but that's neither here or there. The reason we started calling him Bhaal was due to the sound he made after two pints. I have never met anyone below the age of four who could not hold their drink WORSE than Bhaal. At the tavern, sitting nicely ensconced in the corner looking shady and then 'BHAAAAAL' bright red vomit all over the table. Bhaal got clever enough to regurgitate nearly exactly a pint, back into his pint glass each time he had to... err... Bhaal. We gave it to Bane, I swear he liked it... Where was I... Yes, for a measly thief, Bhaal was so UP HIMSELF. I'm so good at this, I'm the best at that, Watch me twirl my bone dagger, look at me I'm Bhaal. When It came to a fight. NOWHERE TO BE SEEN! Ran away and hid like a baby. Afterwards he would say things like 'Did you see me totally backstab that mage? I chunked him into little pieces so Bane could eat him' Absolute rubbish! He was just the lock pick and that's why we put up with him.

Uncle Myrkul was a Necromancer. He could animate the dead. Without giving away too many trade secrets, I can reveal it was all done with wire coat hangers. We would have a great time digging up somebodies Gran and then getting the deceased to pop into the local hostelry and ask for a quick ale and a kiss!

Then there was I. Anduin the Almighty! I was the real brains of the operation. Without me they would just end up fighting and bickering. I also once talked to a girl, so the other guys really looked up to me.

Now one day Uncle Myrkul had this idea to go visit a god called Jergal and ask for some of his powers. Bane was hungry and was wondering what gods taste like and Bhaal was all up for pickpocketing a gods wallet. Me. I was like WHOA! Nurgle! Is that not a god of disease from the Games Workshop Franchise? And Uncle Myrkul was going nah, Jergal is a god of death, bit depressed after losing all his wealth to a knucklebone gambling habit... And I was like. HOLD ON! Jergal is a bit like Nurgle! I don't want to catch the clap and die with my testicles falling out the bag! Bhaal called me a wuss and Bane wanted to know what testicles tasted like. We parted company there and then. Uncle Myrkul said he couldn't guarantee that his information source was 100% legit and understood why I was reluctant. He said he would cut me some slack if we ever met again.

You know the rest. The Dark Three became The Dead Three.

I started Gargoyles 4U. We are still trading strong today, the business now being nearly 2000 years old... You see... I did meet Uncle Myrkul again... and he gave me... A LOT OF SLACK!!!!


Origin theory 2

You wish to know of my past? Ha! Do you know how far my past unwinds? Such a story as mine, written in ink and placed on paper, would fill the halls of Candlekeep! I have the luxury of time, if you too have luxury of a few decades, then I can tell you my story... No? Well then mortal, allow me to summarise...

I have been dead and mummified for over 6000 years. Whilst alive I served the Djinni Calim and battled the evil efreeti during the era of skyfire. After the blasted elves resolved the conflict by bounding my masters spirit to the earth, and his enemy Memnon to the sky, I delved beneath the Calim desert with my followers. We mummified ourselves to serve... forever... We laboured on in those years raising pyramids to taunt the sky... But, I learnt that this was fruitless. How can you hurt the sky? Why would you wish it to fall?

I left. I needed to find new gods, new ideas, new magics. I was a Chaos Gnome... And I had already defied the laws of mortality... Why not defy the laws of servitude... I roamed the underdark and the overlight. Learning. Histories, spells, science and dark knowledge. I practised the art of crafting items to aid me... Although I needed little, but my staff...

Oh! Most wizards carry a spellbook... I require an extra dimensional library... Yes... I carry my library, or should I say crypt, with me. My staff, ordinary in all other respect, returns me to it when I need to... My refuge. I have spent centuries there. I make it a matter of course to slip there at the slightest hint of trouble. And the need has risen many times over the years... But I always win... Why behold me a grudge? I will give you a decade or two to mull over your belligerence before appearing again and exacting my revenge on your withered and aged frame... *sigh* Unless your an elf... I'll give you a century or two... *mumble grumble*

So. I stand before you. Ancient. Wise. Travelled... And Worn... You have sought me. And I would feel honoured. But I am dead... And I feel nothing...

Even so... I do follow certain courtesies... *Anduin flicks a coin, his sunken, hollow sockets gazes at it, all the while smiling, without lips he can do no less, before looking up

You are granted another question... Take your time... I'll be here all decade...


If you have read both... You deserve a medal!

A question on Origins... Namely mine... 26 votes

Origin 1: BHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAL... Look at that, one pint exactly... Bane, I got you a drink...
26%
kotekorufus_hobartElrandirwubbleNimranplesples4cqlNukeface 7 votes
Origin 2: I'm Justified and I'm Ancient. And I drive an Ice cream van... I'm Justfied and Ancient, doing the best I can! (And if you recognise KLF lyrics... You are ancient too...)
46%
mlneveseelminsterKamigoroshiLadyRhiankcwiseBlackravenCoryNewbNonnahswriterCrevsDaakjackjackRavenslightskinnydragon 12 votes
*Sigh* Really... You expected me to read?
26%
elementAnduin[Deleted User]JuliusBorisovkarnor00lolienMusigny 7 votes
[Deleted User]wubbleKamigoroshiCrevsDaakCoryNewblolienRavenslightJuliusBorisov
«1

Comments

  • kcwisekcwise Member Posts: 2,287
    Origin 2: I'm Justified and I'm Ancient. And I drive an Ice cream van... I'm Justfied and Ancient, doing the best I can! (And if you recognise KLF lyrics... You are ancient too...)
    50/50 so far. Perhaps you are some bizarre combination of both origins? As if you are one entity, regardless of which multidimensional aspect might currently be visible? Or, perhaps reading all that has done something to my mind...

    AnduinlolienRavenslight
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