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In a fit of poor judgment your DM gives you one magic item of your own creation...

NukefaceNukeface Member Posts: 91
edited January 2015 in Off-Topic
How do you punish your DM?
  1. In a fit of poor judgment your DM gives you one magic item of your own creation...18 votes
    1. Ship in a bottle *OPEN TOWARDS ENEMIES*
      22.22%
    2. Cargo Pants of Holding (ooo la la!)
      16.67%
    3. Cursed Belt of Feeblemind (with +20 to Charisma and +10 to luck)
        5.56%
    4. "The Meta-Gamer's Guide to Wealth and Power"
      22.22%
    5. Gauntlets of Polymorph Self - Drizzt
      11.11%
    6. Paladin's Pantaloons (+3 "Stick in the butt" situational bonus while worn)
        0.00%
    7. Dave Mustaine's Bardic Axe "The Art of Shred" +7 - (Once Per Day: Tornado of Souls, instant face melting. -2 Save VS Awesome.)
      22.22%

Comments

  • kcwisekcwise Member Posts: 2,287
    Because, how cool would that be?

    Although, if the ship doesn't enlarge once released it's a bit less cool. Bonus surprise points though for the look on the orc warrior's face when the tiny little boat made of wood and string lands at is feet and... nothing else happens. :)
  • NukefaceNukeface Member Posts: 91
    "And so our journey ends with Ladomir Half-Wise opening his ship in a bottle during a pub fight."

    Bonus points if "nothing else happens" is pirates the size of ants swarming the orc.
  • cognoscentuscognoscentus Member Posts: 65
    "The art of Shred" +5 vs. identity theives
  • NukefaceNukeface Member Posts: 91
    @deltago Sounds like pretty much every bard I've ever played. Oh, them sticky fingers sure do make such purdy muzik!

    @cognoscentus Always handy.

    What a musical bunch we are.
  • NukefaceNukeface Member Posts: 91
    @wubble You bet your glorious golden pantaloons they are!

    Nothing says "I'm better than you" than gold.
  • kcwisekcwise Member Posts: 2,287
    Nukeface said:

    Ladomir Half-Wise

    Dang, now I'm going to have to create a character with that name! :)
  • KaltzorKaltzor Member Posts: 1,050
    If I played a dwarf and found myself in this situation, I would make an endless bottle of ale.
  • DreadKhanDreadKhan Member Posts: 3,857
    An extra-armed Advanced Bound (no rage!) intelligent Clay Golem. 4 slams, with feats, skills and no disloyalty! Toss in some Artificer buffs for hard fights, and you have a 1 golem army.

    Every Artificer dreams of this sort of thing, deep down. Artificers were really, really cool in 3.5, but really, really powerful in practice.
  • NukefaceNukeface Member Posts: 91
    I decided a +20 to Charisma is the only way to make my insipid drooling and off-kilter comments even remotely socially acceptable. The +10 to luck just means my DM is going to have a harder time offing my sorry butt.
  • deltagodeltago Member Posts: 7,811
    Nukeface said:

    deltago Sounds like pretty much every bard I've ever played. Oh, them sticky fingers sure do make such purdy muzik!

    Cognoscentus Always handy.

    What a musical bunch we are.

    You miss understand. The lute adds enchantment to any loot that isnt identified.

    That measly dagger +1 becomes a dagger +2

    Good luck having your DM keep your equipment in check.
  • NukefaceNukeface Member Posts: 91
    deltago said:


    You miss understand.

    SHHHHHHHH-ocking. :smile:

    Gotta admit, that would be pretty nifty... My belt suddenly works as a double feeble-mind, which would probably put me completely under @dreadkhan 's control.

    @anduin It's like a walking stick, if by walking you mean cheating, and by cheating you mean "winning"
  • OneAngryMushroomOneAngryMushroom Member Posts: 564
    I feel the need to mention my PnP paladin whose main weapon was a shark-flail. Yes a shark-on-a-chain-on-a-stick type flail. But this Axe of Mustaine sounds way more awesome. but one question first. Do we get to choose the solo that plays for the Tornado of Souls ability? I like the song but it's not my favorite.
  • jackjackjackjack Member Posts: 3,251
    I've just always wanted one of these. At long last, I shall have it!
  • NukefaceNukeface Member Posts: 91
    @oneangrymushroom Any solo from Rust In Peace or earlier keeps a +7 enchantment due to the face melting nature of the early works. After that era it begins to lose enchantment - but keep in mind you have a solid 14 albums to choose from so the +7 is really just a situational bonus based on what you've chosen. I'd be willing to bump it to +9 if you have a vinyl copy of Killing Is My Business... and Business Is Good! The solo dictates your max enchantment and the complexity of the rhythm portions dictate your base enchantment. You have about 3-5 minutes of enchantment which bonuses are weighed against the song you are playing and are applied thematically based on source material. DC of 35 to utilize its powers for earlier works, 15-25 for later works. +5 DC for each level of enchantment, in other words.

    Holy Wars would indicate a bonus against Giants and a Barbarian Rage like bonus during the second movement - the first part of the song would be a slow build and utilize the damage that has been inflicted on you to fuel that rage. You basically become a rage battery that needs to be filled until you explode in a fiery ball of vengeance. You might also start blabbering nonsense about how they keep making mistakes and how killing your family means "No more mistakes."

    Hook in Mouth would indicate your bonuses against Sorcerers, Mages, Bards, Clerics, Paladins, and anybody of the Nobility. You would be immune to all mental status effects, gain a situational bonus to people trying to persuade you of anything, and again enter into a Barbarian Rage all the while uttering nonsensical anagrams of your country in question to the effect that you're going to kick righteous A**. You lose the ability to form words that don't sound completely paranoid and delusional for the remainder of the day.

    Keep in mind you have to be Chaotic Good and preferably railing against the establishment. You also have to find religion in your later life - very important. Everything up to rehab era Mustaine must be performed while completely drowned in upwards of 3 altering substances - everything after can be performed while sober.

    Them's the rules.
  • NukefaceNukeface Member Posts: 91
    I should point out "Morello's Atomic Face-Melter" is just a Bardic Axe that causes explosions anytime the wielder is looked at. Actually playing the instrument is known to cause uncontrollable awesome as well as incite riots.
  • DreadKhanDreadKhan Member Posts: 3,857
    Hmm... Is it too late to go with a Vorpal Keen Straight Razor +5?

    Sounds totally practical and safe!
  • NimranNimran Member Posts: 4,875
    DreadKhan said:

    Hmm... Is it too late to go with a Vorpal Keen Straight Razor +5?

    Sounds totally practical and safe!

    *Lops off head* That was a close shave!
  • NukefaceNukeface Member Posts: 91
    After careful analysis I've come to the conclusion that to properly implement the Dave Mustaine's Bardic Axe "The Art of Shred" +7 into Neverwinter Nights 2 I would have to include 146 different once per day abilities checked against your Perform skill.
  • FinneousPJFinneousPJ Member Posts: 6,455
    I think it needs to be done.
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