EPIC RAP BATTLES OF FAERUN HISTORY: Sarevok v. Irenicus
booinyoureyes
Member Posts: 6,164
Inspired by @lolien 's thread https://forums.beamdog.com/discussion/32748/irenicus-vs-sarevok-who-won-you-decide
I started making this years ago but it was long forgotten in my documents. However, I just put the finishing touches on it and its ready for your consumption.
Done in the mold of Epic Rap Battles of History. Which classic BG villain won this rap battle? You decide! And feel free to respond with a Melissan verse if you wish
EPIC RAP BATTLES OF FAERUN
IRENICUS
versus
MC KOVERAS
BEGIN
Irenicus:
Ah, the child is awake, its time for my experiment,
Let's see how I can combine rhymes with disparagement.
Sarevok:
I will be last, and you will rap first,
You opened up this battle but I’ll drop the last verse.
Irenicus:
What is wrong with your voice? Did you come down with a cold?
Must be tough getting killed, when CHARNAME was 15 years old,
You roar like a lion, but you barely beat Gorion,
And lost to this kid I captured barely even tryin’?
I don’t listen to the babble of adolescents,
I roll without a soul, and with no conscience,
I’ll take your Bhaal essence, teach you a lesson,
On soul repossession, prepare for my ascension.
I hear you have this thing that you call the Iron Throne,
Well you better take a seat, since you just got owned,
Thought you could take Bhaals’ throne, thought you could ascend?
Your pathetic raps are useless. Let this end!
Sarevok:
* Yo, Tazok, turn the base up in these headphones*
You don’t like my voice? Well, death comes for you. Feel its icy breath!
I sound like Vin Diesel, you sound like a high school production of Macbeth,
I’m so savage they made me a Deathbringer.
Cried to your sister when Elliseme left you, why not go on Jerry Springer?
I am the God’s son,
Watch the Sword Coast run,
Red with blood, yes.
Ain’t even a contest,
My rhymes cut through your soul like a knife,
If you resist, it will be a waste of your life!
I manipulated Amn and Baldur’s Gate,
The Cowled Wizards made you look second rate,
Just ask Alaundo, you know my fate,
You’re destined for the Abyss, I’m destined to be great
Irenicus:
You dare to attack me here? Do you even KNOW whom you face?
I will put you in your place then steal your divine grace.
Let me understand, you thought you were destined to bring murder to the land?
Silence dog! You have no purpose but to die by my hand!
I cannot be caged! I cannot be controlled!
You could barely beat Gorion when he was 90 years old.
Do you cling to the past or can you see through the pain?
Why battle me with words, you have nothing to gain.
Don’t be a little bitch,Come to the Abyss,
Come face Irenicus, Just to end… like this?
Sarevok:
I... live! Flesh and blood and bone!
Listen up close cuz you’re about to get owned,
See a grown elf cry over a woman, such a pity,
Throw a tantrum, try and destroy her whole city.
I've had them all, Cythandria, Tomoko,
But by Throne of Bhaal you wouldn’t even know,
Any girl in Amn, I don’t ask I just take,
Might even introduce Bodhi... to my wooden stake.
All in Baldur’s Gate feared my unholy wrath,
You live in a dungeon, you should probably take a bath.
I spit the baddest rhymes, I always spit true,
If you come at me you better bring your whole crew,
But remember… if you gaze long into the abyss, it gazes back at you.
WHO WON? YOU DECIDE!
Silence, child. Allow the fool to make his judgement.
I started making this years ago but it was long forgotten in my documents. However, I just put the finishing touches on it and its ready for your consumption.
Done in the mold of Epic Rap Battles of History. Which classic BG villain won this rap battle? You decide! And feel free to respond with a Melissan verse if you wish
EPIC RAP BATTLES OF FAERUN
IRENICUS
versus
MC KOVERAS
BEGIN
Irenicus:
Ah, the child is awake, its time for my experiment,
Let's see how I can combine rhymes with disparagement.
Sarevok:
I will be last, and you will rap first,
You opened up this battle but I’ll drop the last verse.
Irenicus:
What is wrong with your voice? Did you come down with a cold?
Must be tough getting killed, when CHARNAME was 15 years old,
You roar like a lion, but you barely beat Gorion,
And lost to this kid I captured barely even tryin’?
I don’t listen to the babble of adolescents,
I roll without a soul, and with no conscience,
I’ll take your Bhaal essence, teach you a lesson,
On soul repossession, prepare for my ascension.
I hear you have this thing that you call the Iron Throne,
Well you better take a seat, since you just got owned,
Thought you could take Bhaals’ throne, thought you could ascend?
Your pathetic raps are useless. Let this end!
Sarevok:
* Yo, Tazok, turn the base up in these headphones*
You don’t like my voice? Well, death comes for you. Feel its icy breath!
I sound like Vin Diesel, you sound like a high school production of Macbeth,
I’m so savage they made me a Deathbringer.
Cried to your sister when Elliseme left you, why not go on Jerry Springer?
I am the God’s son,
Watch the Sword Coast run,
Red with blood, yes.
Ain’t even a contest,
My rhymes cut through your soul like a knife,
If you resist, it will be a waste of your life!
I manipulated Amn and Baldur’s Gate,
The Cowled Wizards made you look second rate,
Just ask Alaundo, you know my fate,
You’re destined for the Abyss, I’m destined to be great
Irenicus:
You dare to attack me here? Do you even KNOW whom you face?
I will put you in your place then steal your divine grace.
Let me understand, you thought you were destined to bring murder to the land?
Silence dog! You have no purpose but to die by my hand!
I cannot be caged! I cannot be controlled!
You could barely beat Gorion when he was 90 years old.
Do you cling to the past or can you see through the pain?
Why battle me with words, you have nothing to gain.
Don’t be a little bitch,Come to the Abyss,
Come face Irenicus, Just to end… like this?
Sarevok:
I... live! Flesh and blood and bone!
Listen up close cuz you’re about to get owned,
See a grown elf cry over a woman, such a pity,
Throw a tantrum, try and destroy her whole city.
I've had them all, Cythandria, Tomoko,
But by Throne of Bhaal you wouldn’t even know,
Any girl in Amn, I don’t ask I just take,
Might even introduce Bodhi... to my wooden stake.
All in Baldur’s Gate feared my unholy wrath,
You live in a dungeon, you should probably take a bath.
I spit the baddest rhymes, I always spit true,
If you come at me you better bring your whole crew,
But remember… if you gaze long into the abyss, it gazes back at you.
WHO WON? YOU DECIDE!
Silence, child. Allow the fool to make his judgement.
- EPIC RAP BATTLES OF FAERUN HISTORY: Sarevok v. Irenicus25 votes
- Irenicus48.00%
- MC Koveras52.00%
Post edited by booinyoureyes on
22
Comments
@booinyoureyes wins the forums!
@JuliusBorisov , time to close the forums, preserve them in amber for future reference, nothing will ever top this.
The Hamster Alliance remains strong!
That was epic! I voted for Irenicus because I like his lines better in BG2. The contest was a toss-up...
thanks @elminster
Brilliant, Inspired, Genius.
Just want it to be made real.
I would die happy.
So OK, as that's not going to happen, reading them is a pretty good substitite, so more please.
You can give up work/life/meaningful existence until finished surely?
Sorry, wrong franchise.
Now you've done it.
What's that from?? what's that from???
so annoying when you know something but can't remember the source
Bloody hell, sometimes I'm dumb.
Though in my defense, Pokomon would have passed me by completely if it hadn't been for my children. I am old.
And I wasn't that impressed with the cartoon series, hard to get your head round past a certain age.
But then there was an episode I saw which made one of my favourite jokes ever in any cartoon series ever, which I still reference.
Kids were pleased, suddenly Mum wasn't so anti buying them Pokomon cards, and boy did I end up buying a lot of cards.
Three children, do the maths, we still have folders full of them.
Jaheira, Jaheira,
I never really knew that she could cast like this
She makes a man wants to speak elvish
"Scio didicti hecta" (si)
"Praeses Alea" (si)
Mi casa (Jaheira Jaheira), su casa
Oh Charname when you talk like that
You make a Harper go mad
So be wise (si) and keep on (si)
Peeling Iron Skins off my body (uno, dos, tres, cuatro)
And I'm on tonight you know nature's servant don't lie
And I'm starting to feel it's right
All the attraction, the tension
Don't you see baby, this is perfection
(Yes, I know it is Latin and not elvish, but play along nerds)